Sunday, February 16, 2025

Birthdays

This weekend was my husband's birthday. We didn't take pictures of Vince! But my mind is on birthdays so I'll share photos of the kids' birthdays instead. I never posted these before. These were from years ago. I've stopped sharing their birthday pics for their privacy. But since they're bigger now, their faces have changed, and the kids told me they loved looking at their old birthday photos, so let's share a few here!
 

Here's my eldest boy's 11th birthday. He's turning 15 now and he doesn't look like that anymore. He's tall, broad-shouldered, serious, angular. He's in high school. He's an excellent student, and he even went to The Hague, Netherlands last year for the International STEM Olympiad, where he won medals in math and science. We're very proud of him! 


This is my second boy's 11th birthday, too. I was already working in an office so I didn't get to spend the day with him. That's okay, I guess (no, it's not), because my husband works from home so he got to make our darling boy's day special with homecooked spaghetti.


I joined them later for cake. And all was well. We're so proud of our middle child. He's turning 13 this year and in 7th grade. He's tall, with a shock of black hair, and growing broad, too. He plays the piano (self-taught!) so well and so emotionally. He's playing the piano now as I type. He's a deep thinker, very much in tune with his emotions, very expressive, and his vocabulary is even bigger and wider now. Well, he's always been like that (remember this love post when he was only 3?) so I shouldn't be surprised. But I still am. 

And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father. 

His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways. 

Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!

Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!   

Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!

I hope you had a good one, too! 

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Saturday, February 08, 2025

To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.


To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.

We take your words, your sad looks, your sighs,
but the grief we feel is of another kind.
We don't mourn his loss, this man with no name.
We grieve the scars, the endless pain.

He was a father, a brother, a friend,
a husband, a son... and a curse to the end.
Behind closed doors, where shadows creep,
he stole our breath, he stole our sleep.

With hands that bruised, with words that cut,
with silent warfare, he left us shut.
He drained our souls, he bent our minds,
he took and took, left none behind.

We smiled! We sang! We wore the mask.
We hid the torment - a painful task.
Because family stays, right? And family hides.
So in our silence, more life died.

But finally, we walked away. We had to flee
to save ourselves, our sanity.
Then whispers came, "Where have you gone?"
They judged us since we left him alone.

We waited so long for words unsaid,
a hint of sorrow, a past to mend.
We hoped he’d try, we hoped he’d see,
and own his wrongs, and just say sorry.

Yet silence reigned, no peace was sought,
no weight of guilt, no lessons taught.
So we forgave, for our own hearts' sake 
because our peace he shouldn't take.

And now he’s dead. At last, sweet peace!
For us, the broken, we've found release.
We do not mourn him, but what he stole,
the years, the love, the fractured whole.

So thank you for the words you sent,
but mourn instead what did not mend.
And if you wish to bring us cheer,
don't say, "I'm sorry," but "You're here!"

We survived! We didn't die.
We made new lives, we didn't cry.
We learned to laugh, to love, to live
and still found joy and more to give.

Congratulate us please for breaking free,
for finding strength, for daring to be.
So thank you for your condolences true,
But today, we celebrate! We really, really do.

02/02/2025


* * * * * * *


I believe we should not speak ill of the dead. But I also believe, more strongly, that we should not speak lies. Silence may honor the dead, but it dishonors the victims - and they are many. Silence protects evil. 

Imagine, this man who died was estranged from his wife, daughters, and sisters. His own mother wished he was dead. Ever wonder why? 

And still, because of our silence, people think he was a good guy. Would a good guy repel the women in his family? Pay attention, especially you who shake your heads at us. We didn't have to say anything. Our actions were loud and clear. This man was a bad man. That is his true legacy. 

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Saturday, January 25, 2025

Book Review: Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

I've got the perfect read for the New Year for you! 




When I picked up Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera, I thought I was in for a romance. I expected a love story front and center—childhood friends discovering each other in a wholly new way, sparks flying, and happily-ever-afters unfolding. But this novel surprised me in the best way possible.


While there is a love interest (a childhood friend who appears sporadically and only becomes significant halfway through the story), this isn’t really a romance. It’s deeper and more profound: a story about facing life’s changes and curveballs with courage, curiosity, and an open heart.


Sarah Silvestre’s journey begins with upheaval—both personal and professional. Instead of retreating into the comfort of what’s familiar, Sarah takes this chaotic time in her always-steady life to reassess how she's been living: as a capable office manager, dependable daughter and friend, and reliable girlfriend. Meh. So thank goodness we meet Sarah when her world turns upside down because it pushes her to embark on a waterfall-chasing adventure across the Philippines!


Sarah's story resonated with me, especially how she confronted the unknown. I'm not a Sarah, so I don't relate to her fears. Sarah is someone who thrives on obedience and stability, someone who likes life neatly tied up in a box. Yet when the ribbon unravels and she finds that the box is empty, she doesn’t stay stuck moaning about it—she sets off to find something new. That's my girl!




Personally, I’ve never been one to keep things in a tidy box. Growing up, and even as a child, I insisted on doing things my way. Marching to the beat of my own drum has often brought me loneliness and trouble with the conservative people in my life (that's basically every single one of them, haha). But it has also brought me to people, places, and adventures I could never have imagined. That’s why Sarah’s story spoke to me—because I'm so glad I was never that girl... the girl everyone wanted me to be. Sarah finding her way by leaving home, climbing mountains, and jumping into waterfalls is a reminder for all of us at life’s crossroads: throw caution to the wind, live boldly, love deeply, and be outrageously brave.


My dear Loyal Readers know that my life motto is "The brave may not live forever but cowards never live at all."


Oh, and I've added a new one: "When Death finds you, may it find you alive."


Back to Sarah and her journey!


I like that this book introduced the love interest halfway through. That really drives home the fact that you may or may not find true love along the way, that a romance is beside the point. What matters is that you find yourself.


Steady Sarah is not just a call to adventure; it’s a call to authenticity. By the end of the novel, Sarah isn’t "steady" anymore, at least not in the way she was before. And that’s a good thing. She’s steady in a new way—steady in her courage, her self-awareness, and her trust in life’s unfolding.


This novel is an inspiring reminder that, sometimes, the best way forward is to leap, even when you don’t know where you’ll land. 

Congratulations, Justine, on your book!


Purchase Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho Tajonera at Amazon and Fully Booked.


* * * * * * *

I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it! 

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Saturday, January 18, 2025

My 2025 Vision Board

Happy New Year to all my dear Loyal Readers! How's 2025 treating you so far? Me, well, all the songs playing in my head have these lyrics: "Such a feelin's gotten over me. There is wonder in most everything I see...", "It's gonna be a bright bright sunshiny day," and "I had a dream so big and loud I jumped so high, I touched the clouds, all the possibilities, no limits, just epiphanies!" 

I guess you can tell I like the vibe of 2025! 

I have lots and lots of plans. All involve words! A devotional. A workbook. A romance trilogy (yep, that werewolf romance novel I started in 2022 nag-multiply!). A children's book. Maybe even a literary website. Am I launching them all this year? I don't know! The plan is just to finish them and then we'll see! Hope you support me as always!


Speaking of plans, one of the best things I did recently was attend a workshop by Belle de Jour Power Planners. The formal name is Life & Business Vision Integration Workshop. Sounds so serious so I just call it the BDJ Goals Workshop. I attended the one last December at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf at BGC and I believe that event propelled me to my happy, hopeful vibe. 

Madaling mangarap, mahirap tuparin ang mga ito. But because of the goals- and intention-setting sessions we did (na may kasamang personal sharing at iyakan pa!), parang lahat kaya kong abutin - kahit na yung ambisyosa kong goal na mag-publish ng 6 books this 2025! Ngayon pa lang alam ko it's a giant task but because we were taught to set goals in bite-sized pieces and to make them all short-term, napaniwala ako ni Darlyn Sandra Ty-Nilo na kaya kong gawin ito. 


Here's Dar, soft-spoken and a truly inspirational speaker. I've known her since my editor days (so that's almost 2 decades) and she's achieved so much. Not only did she launch a successful planner business, she's also become a motivational coach, connecting women and empowering them to start making their dreams come true through concrete steps (that's tied up neatly with her planner biz, diba?). Despite knowing her all this time and having worked with BDJ briefly, it was only at this Goals Workshop that I got to know her as a woman driven to make other women succeed. It was a revelation! I encourage you all to sign up for this workshop kasi it's like the heavens open up for you and talaga namang parang lahat kaya mong gawin!

Here's a peek at what happened at our workshop. We had delicious food served while we learned and shared and made our vision boards. We got a BDJ planner, a lovely journal, art materials for our vision board, and of course vital lessons on setting goals. 

I hope this is still a safe space to share with you my dreams. I always have done that with you since I started this blog in 2006. And I may have disappeared for a while (the last 2 years were very interesting) but I'm dreaming and planning and hoping again! And maybe I can share some of those hopes and dreams with you like I used to, if that's okay?

So here's my vision board!  


At the top is me writing books and blogs. That's all I really want to do - make a living on words alone! Everyone told me that was a dumb dream but my husband and I are making it happen! Next is me speaking to a group of women. I used to do this - hold workshops, be a guest speaker. I want to do that again. I'm thinking I'd do a speaking event when I launch my books! Will you be there? I'm so deathly afraid that no one will show up for me but then you ladies always have. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. (Now, I don't know if you're still around given that I've been silent for a while but if you're still here, it means a lot.) Last pic is a crazy idea - do a podcast. It's crazy because I have the worst voice ever. It's squeaky, not for broadcasting at all. But hey, I think I have some important things to say and a podcast may be in my future (I really don't think so, though haha but like I said this goals workshop makes you believe in the crazy!).

The left part is personal goals. I want to spend more time with my family and friends, enjoying life. Then, because I'm going through a transition that is traumatic to the body (a.k.a. perimenopause), I want to care for myself with proper nutrition, enough sleep, regular exercise, and also indulge now and then in a massage because my body has served me so well in the last 48 years. I should serve it now.

The right part is all money! My husband and I have insurance policies and mutual funds to help us with our retirement years (10-12 years na lang grabe!!!) so kami ni Vince, we're ready. But I want to save up anyway for the kids. I want to give them the world but writing - surprise surprise haha - doesn't really make a lot of money unless Vince and I become bestselling authors (like millions of copies sold!). It's not impossible but, boy, I hope it happens sooner than later because my boys are growing up so fast and I want to give them music lessons and art classes and sports and take them all over the world... 

I am running out of time. I am running out of time.

But I am not unhappy. Believe me when I say I am overflowing with joy. Despite the perimenopause hell, the long hours at the office, the having just-enough money, the unfinished books, the never having enough time... I am still so happy. My husband and I are still in love, we and the kids are healthy, we are safe, the kids are growing up so fast and they're all so handsome and smart and talented, we all get along fine, we're okay! We're more than okay. We're happy.

That said, I still need to dream bigger! I am so blessed that for a time I stopped myself from dreaming of more because it just felt so greedy, you know? I have so much! Maybe not money and time haha but everything else? Siksik, liglig at umaapaw! So I had been telling Jesus, "Okay na po ito. Tama na. Masaya na ako. Just help me be a good wife and mother and take care of the precious people you gave me." 

But somewhere along the way I just felt that God didn't give me all these stories and experiences and writing talent to just be quiet! Jesus promised me an abundant life, a life that should be all used up so that he can keep on pouring into my cup! In John 10:10, Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and have it abundantly."

I have allowed the devil to steal my purpose. I am a writer. Before I was a wife and mother and till the day I die, I hope I will still be writing. So that's what I'll do. Write! Will it make me money? I hope so! But that's just a benefit. I want to write because I want to tell stories that inspire women and I want to change lives again, the way my blogs used to when I used to blog a storm the last 18 years. Woah! Yep. Let's add more years to that, shall we? Yes! Thank you for reading all these years!

So anyway! That's my vision board. Please help me make those visions real. As in yung mahahawakan, matitikman, at mararanasan ko at ng pamilya ko. Stick around for updates!


And if you're interested in a little life-changing day, sign up for the Life & Business Vision Integration Workshop a.k.a. the BDJ Goal Setting Workshop! Register now for just P3,999! You won't regret it! 
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Sunday, November 17, 2024

At the MomCon 2024 media launch

I had a sweet time at the media launch of Mommy Mundo MomCon 2024 recently. I've not been in the mommy blogging/influencing circuit since 2019 so it was nice to see familiar faces again. Some of them (like mine) are older, while many still look the same, even better! Check out a few snaps from the event:

With Mommy Mundo herself - Janice Villanueva! So excited for all her plans for MomCon. And how cute are we? We're like strawberry and pistachio ice cream 😊
The OGs of mommy blogging. 
So sweet of Mommy Mundo to have our photos taken by Sheila Catilo and Stanley Ong!

These were the giveaways and will be part of the giveaways at MomCon 2024. I didn't get mine (I was rushing home because it was my birthday!) so I don't really know what the items are. I guess we'll have to go to MomCon to get our loot bags!

Let's learn about how to connect better - with ourselves, our children, and the world. See you at Mommy Mundo MomCon 2024: #CalltoConnect! It's this Saturday na! November 23, 2024, from 9 AM -6:30 PM, at the Samsung Hall, AMAura Premier. You can also join from anywhere in the world via live stream!

Get your tickets at mommymundo.com/momcon2024. 

Use this code: FrancesforMomCon to get a discount!


See you on Saturday!

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