Wednesday, October 16, 2024

That rock 'n' roll vibe in a long marriage

This is George Harrison and Pattie Boyd. She was married to two of the greatest British musical icons (George and Eric Clapton) and was their muse, inspiring "Something" by the Beatles and "Layla" and "Wonderful Tonight" by Clapton. But we're not talking about that love triangle. In fact, how jarring to have that sweet title and have this photo under it when they divorced!

But in this photo, they were young and in love. So today, we're going to talk about the rock 'n' roll vibe they had here.

You may or may not agree, but this picture of George and Pattie when they were kids is Vince and me when we were kids. 

I'm not saying we're that amazing, nope, not at all. I, for one, will never inspire a song, let alone two! I haven't inspired anyone to create any art at all. Although I've inspired smiles from this guy since he was 25. And we inspired each other to become better versions of ourselves... at least better versions of ourselves most days in the last 25 years!

(Yes, Vince is 50 and I'll be 48 next month!)


Anyway, I've been thinking that staying married for years and years on end is like a really good rock 'n' roll album. It's exciting and loud, it's sexy and passionate, and sometimes, like a powerful ballad, it can feel dramatic and emotional. 

(Yes, I'm listening to my playlist of old rock 'n' roll songs.) 


Last night, I told my kids, "You don't ever have to worry about your father and me. We're ride and die, till death do us part." 

Ride and die. I think the kids liked that very much. But it's true. In a long marriage (emphasis on long), all the love songs apply. As my favorite soft rock song goes, "You can't tell me it's not worth trying for, I can't help it there's nothing I want more. Yeah, I'd fight for you. I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I'd die for you. You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you." 


A long marriage is what's rock 'n' roll. A short love affair is like a pop song. It's fun and catchy and then... Thank you, next! No shade. I love pop songs, too. My marriage sometimes feels like a series of love affairs. Same man, same me, but over the years so many different versions of us. That's fun, too. And yes, thank you, now what's the next version of you? Sometimes we don't like the new incarnation and we fight and rage. And then we change yet again. 

The best rock songs are a mix of chaotic energy and harmony. I think a successful marriage is the same as long as you both work hard to find your rhythm. It takes years of working together to turn the raw and intense emotions from love and anger, joy and sadness to create beautiful music. You just need to commit. That's not always easy. Sometimes, we walk away and be alone. But in the end, we go back because we've committed to something bigger than our emotions. We endure because there's music to play, stories to write, and love to be made.

A long marriage requires defying the odds. It’s rebelling against the idea that love fades or that passion dies with time. I have it on good authority that the sex gets even better. Oh, if the young Vince and me knew what old Vince and me could do...!


So, I think staying married for years is rock 'n' roll because it takes passion, grit, and the willingness to ride through the noise to find your unique rhythm together and create harmony. 

Haha so corny. But I love it. I love it all! 

Tuesday, October 08, 2024

Baby Bumps

"Reminiscing on the belly today." Hailey Bieber

Justin Bieber's baby mama posted on IG beautiful photos of her preggy belly, which made me wish I had maternity shoots. Instead I'm going to share a few from my three pregnancies! 

2010
Pregnant with Jelly Bean



2012
Pregnant with Wiggles



2014
Pregnant with Baby Chicken



I found that I have more solo preggy pics with my second one. The first and last, I was always with somebody! The last one, the somebodies were his 2 older brothers who were just so darn cute! But I wanted this post to be about my baby belly, not the babies haha

And then I blinked and now instead of babies, I have these big boys eating us out of house and home, filling the days and nights with laughter, gossip, singing, and playing the piano. Filling my once-pretty house with their mess, too. I think my house will be clean again when they move out. Feels like a million years away but we all know I'll blink and they're gone.

It's been said so many times but I'll say it anyway: It goes by so fast. I'm so happy I had healthy pregnancies (the third one had a bit of trouble, which was why it was the last). I'm so grateful all of them were delivered quickly and easily, and that I recovered so frikkin' fast every time. And I'm thankful you were there with me and blessed me every time.

Reminiscing on the belly today reminded me how incredibly grateful I am for everything. It's been the most wonderful time. 

Sunday, October 06, 2024

Book Review: Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba

If you'd like to expose your children to more poetry, then here's a book you should try. Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba. Elyrah is a lovely writer and her honesty and wit come through in her book of poetry for children. Before I share with you a couple of my favorites, let's quickly go through the reasons why parents should read poetry to their children.


Any book lover knows that reading to children offers a wealth of benefits, not just as an emotional bonding experience but also adds greatly to their intellectual development. I noticed that when I read poems to my kids, they enjoyed them a lot. So here's very quickly why we parents should make poetry a part of our children’s reading experience:

1. Helps our kids with language development. That means a bigger vocabulary, exposure to playful language, and an awareness of sounds and rhythm. 

2. Improves their listening and concentration skills. This is obviously spoken poetry. And poetry really must be read aloud anyway. Our kids learn active listening. Kids these days need to learn this! 

3. Enhances their imagination (and parents' too!). Poetry often uses vivid imagery which makes kids use their imagination. It helps them visualize what's happening and feel emotions in a way that prose doesn’t always provide. So hello, creativity!

4. Encourages critical thinking. How??? Poems have metaphors and symbolism so our kids think beyond literal meanings and dive deeper into the words to discover what they really mean.

5. Helps them express emotions better. We all know the power of a song, right? When we're in love, heartbroken, happy, grieving. Poetry does the same for our kids, especially those who are discovering new feelings they don't have words for yet.

So try to squeeze poetry into your child’s life. It can unlock creativity, nurture emotional intelligence, and build a strong foundation for literacy skills—all while creating enjoyable bonding moments!

So now let me share with you my favorite poems from Nanay and the Moon:


So funny! But that ending is ouch! The kids will find this hilarious while we parents can use this as a teaching moment to remind them to keep the house clean so that we don't suffer the terrorism of ipis!


I love how this poem says that we mommies are storytellers. We have so many stories and I spend a lot of time just chatting with my boys and they're spellbound. We're the ones who teach our kids language, emotions, culture, moral lessons, spirituality. What a beautiful responsibility!

Nanay and the Moon is full of simple language that many children can grasp. They're easy to read aloud - no hard-to-pronounce word here! The poems are short, too, so you can be sure your kids won't fall asleep (well, depending on the age of your child, try to do 1-3 poems per session). 

Congratulations, Elyrah, on your book!

Purchase Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba here:
UP Press 
Lazada
Shopee

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I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it!     


Saturday, September 28, 2024

Yes, I did get a Tod's D Bag... and how!

My dear Loyal Readers deserve this little story. You're going to love this because at the height of my obsession, you sent me messages encouraging me to just buy it! And so I did. But I'm getting ahead of my story.

Once upon a time, a silly girl fell in love with the ugliest designer bag in the world.

I first told you about my Tod's D Bag love affair in my old beauty blog way back in the late 2000's. I remember the comments saying they'd never heard of Tod's before. I don't care if no one knew Tod's. For me, it was Princess Diana's bag and that was enough reason to own one. I reaffirmed my desire for that ugly plain bag here: Yes, I still want something from Tod's. Two years later, with Kate Middleton (plus Hollywood celebs and local fashionistas) also caught out and about with the Tod's D Bag , I promised myself I would own one one day.

But I could never bring myself to buy it because I just didn't have the money. And then when I finally did have the money, I realized it wasn't even that beautiful a bag to splurge on. It's really quite boring. But I liked its plain ugliness, its anonymity, and the fact that no one owned one. Everyone I knew had more than a few Louis Vuitton, a couple of Pradas and Goyards, a Ferragamo here, a Fendi there, a Celine, a Chanel, and even an Hermes. But a Tod's? Nobody owned a Tod's. The bag that two princesses owned? The bag that Amy Dunne, the most insane movie wife, carried??? It's the most understated, under-the-radar luxury designer bag. And that's why I was obsessed with it. But I didn't want to fork over that much cash for it. 

So at first, it was around 70K. Then every year, it got more and more expensive until finally, it was 115K. I figured it was never going to get cheaper so I should buy it. But, being a mom by then, I very quickly snapped out of that insanity when I realized the better choice isn't always the easiest choice. So I let go of the dream but asked God anyway that if ever He can throw one my way, I'd appreciate that very much.

Now I've said here before that we must never treat God as a wish-granting fairy. That said, I've had some prayers answered (do you remember my Ethan Allen headboard?). So a year after I bid good-bye to Tod's, one of my friends said that I could buy from Japan. In Japan, she said, people discarded their designer bags quickly. So I went to the eBay store she told me about and I was astounded to find the exact Tod's D-styling Bauletto Bag in dove grey that I wanted. And it was in pristine condition. It was practically brand new! I couldn't believe it!

Now, on eBay, it's an auction and the starting bid for the bag was Php 4,500. I couldn't believe it! I saw that the bidding was open for 7 days, and that made me lose hope because bids can go up to crazy amounts. There's automatic bidding so I started my bid at Php 5,000 and set my final bid for Php 15,000 and I told myself I won't check the bidding war till after the auction ends. Because sometimes, in the last few minutes of the auction, that's when the bids come in and you get excited and carried away and bid and bid and bid, then the next thing you know, you've pledged your entire savings and retirement plan for something dumb like a bag.

So 7 days later, I checked eBay and to my shock, I had been the only bidder! So I won the bag of my dreams for only Php 5,000! Shipping was Php 4,500. I paid for it with my credit card and 3 days later, I got the big box of royal bag joy. I opened it and my Tod's D-styling Bauletto Bag looked brand new. It smelled brand new. It felt brand new. I was so happy!

I don't know why I never blogged about this. I quietly debuted my Tod's D Bag in this post - A peek at Tod's SS 2017 collection - but it's such a bad photo so nobody noticed my dream come true hahaha 

This is my most recent outing with it. This was literally today!


So now here's the amazing part. 

The purchase never appeared on my credit card bill. This could be for a variety of reasons. In my case, the merchant could've failed to process the transaction correctly, or there was a technical glitch. Or there could've been a delay.

I waited and waited for the charge and then forgot about it till maybe a year or so later. So I called up the bank and told them they never billed me. They made me wait on the line for minutes on end, hunting down the purchase. They never found it. They then told me that since it's been more than a year, it's considered "outside their window for action." A bank allows disputes for billing errors within 60 to 120 days so they said I could try contacting the merchant to ask if they want to reprocess the transaction. So I (very reluctantly I will admit) sent a message to the store. They never replied. You know why? The eBay store didn't exist anymore.

So I got my Tod's D Bag for free.

FREE! FREE! FREE!

After all those years. After all that hemming and hawing. After all that praying. I got my silly bag for free!

You gotta admit that's incredible.

So I have the bag of my dreams. That I got for free. That no one knew about. Until today.

And that's my Tod's D Bag story. Oh, by the way, soon after I got my bag, Tod's discontinued it so now it's a collector's item. I can't sell it, though. It's really so used and battered. The leather's gotten softer, so it's slouchier and uglier. But that made me love it even more and so now I'm going to use it happily ever after! 

Follow me on Threads, @francesampersales

Thursday, September 26, 2024

6 Tips When Using Your Credit Card to Purchase from Foreign Online Shops

Now more than ever, it’s easier for consumers based in the Philippines to buy stuff from foreign shops using their credit cards and other payment gateways. The internet, combined with more efficient and tech-driven logistics systems, has elevated the level of convenience that everyday credit card users can enjoy while accessing a wide array of products that might not be available locally.


But are you truly maximizing the benefits of using your credit cards for online shopping? Perhaps there are still ways to make this process more efficient while ensuring that you get the most bang for your buck. To that end, here’s a list of tips that you can use to get better value for your money when shopping online:

Tip 1 - Choose the Right Credit Card.

First, you’ll need to use the right credit card when purchasing goods from foreign online shops. A credit card with low or no foreign transaction fees, for instance, can save you a significant amount of money. These fees are typically charged by banks for converting your peso payments into the foreign currency of the seller. For instance, if your card charges a 3% foreign transaction fee, a USD 100 purchase will cost you an extra USD 3.

After scrutinizing the foreign transaction fees, examine the rewards or cashback that your credit cards offer on international purchases. Some cards might give you 2% cashback on all purchases made in a foreign currency. This means that for every USD 100 you spend, you get USD 2 back, effectively reducing the cost of your purchase.

Cards that offer better rates can provide you with the best benefits for international spending. It would be good for your credit card program to afford you some perks for shopping you can already expect to do both locally and internationally. One awesome contender that’s available today is the Landers Cashback Everywhere Credit Card by Maya. On top of up to 5% cashback that you get from purchasing in Landers Superstore and 2% cashback you receive whenever you dine out, you’re also entitled to a 1% cashback for every other type of transaction—which means you can get even more value from this card when you shop from a foreign store online.

It’s also important to pay attention to the exchange rate used by your credit card, as this can affect the final amount you pay. Some cards offer more favorable rates than others. Research and compare the currency conversion rates offered by different credit cards to ensure you're really getting the best deal.

Tip 2 - Monitor Exchange Rates

That said, take note that exchange rates fluctuate. This means that you need to time your international purchase when rates are better for you so that you can save money. If you notice that the exchange rate for USD to PHP is more favorable on a particular day, for example, it might be a good time to buy that item you've been eyeing.

To make this task easier, use online tools and apps that provide real-time exchange rate information. They can help you compare the rates offered by different credit cards and decide which one to use for your purchase. Knowing the current exchange rate also allows you to set a budget for online shopping and avoid overspending.

Tip 3 - Know the Ins and Outs of Your Card’s Benefits

Many credit cards offer purchase protection, a feature that can cover you if an item you buy is damaged or stolen within a certain period. If you buy a gadget from an overseas store and it gets damaged during shipping, your credit card’s purchase protection policy may reimburse you for the cost of the item, for one. Check the terms and conditions of the credit card that you want to use to pay for your foreign purchases to understand the coverage and how to file a claim if needed.

In addition, some credit cards can also extend the manufacturer’s warranty on items you purchase. Let’s say that you are planning to buy an electronic device with a one-year warranty. In this scenario, your credit card might extend it to two years, which will save you money on repairs or replacements. However, do make sure to register your purchases and keep all receipts and warranty information for easy reference or reimbursements.

Tip 4 - Secure Your Transactions

No matter who you are transacting with, be it a local or foreign store, it’s a must to ensure that you’re holding your transactions on a secure platform. Make it a point to enable two-factor authentication (2FA) for your online purchases. This adds an extra layer of protection to your purchases and works by requiring a second form of verification, such as a code sent to your phone, in addition to your password. Activating 2FA makes it harder for unauthorized users to make purchases with your card.

Also, check out if your credit card provider offers the use of virtual credit cards. If you can use these temporary numbers instead of your actual card details, you’ll be able to get extra protection against potential fraud. In case the virtual number is compromised, you can have peace of mind knowing that your real credit card information remains safe.

Still, regularly review your credit card statements to spot any unauthorized transactions as quickly as possible. If you notice any suspicious activity, report it to your credit card issuer immediately. The good news is that most providers offer zero liability protection, which means you won’t be held responsible for fraudulent charges if you report them promptly.

Tip 5 - Look for Deals and Discounts

Make sure to look for promo codes and coupons that can reduce the price of your purchase. A number of websites and browser extensions can help you find valid discount codes for various foreign online stores.

Also consider joining the loyalty programs of the online shops you frequently buy from. These programs often offer exclusive discounts, early access to sales, and points that can be redeemed for future purchases. Participating in these programs can help you get better deals and stretch your budget for foreign goods even further.

Tip 6 - Learn Your Card’s Return Policies and Fees

Lastly, make sure you carefully read the return policies of the foreign online shop you’re buying from. Knowing the conditions under which you can return an item, as well as any associated costs, can save you from potential headaches.

Some stores may offer free returns, while others might require you to cover return shipping costs. You should also be aware of the costs associated with returning items internationally, as these can be quite high. If you need to return an item, consider using a shipping service that offers tracking and insurance to ensure that your package reaches its destination safely.


Tips like the ones mentioned above can make your online international shopping experience more rewarding and secure overall. Be a smart consumer and maximize the benefits afforded by your credit card while minimizing the costs of shopping in foreign online stores and getting the most value out of your much-awaited purchases.


*Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash