Sunday, June 17, 2007

Bible bitches

Loved this post from the blog of my dearest friend, Faye. She listed the Top 5 Bitches in the Bible. Very good list except that, as I am a Born-Again Christian and read the archaic King James version, Lilith does not exist for me. Her list goes:
  1. Bathsheba - for committing adultery with King David and allowing the king to assassinate her husband Uriah so that she can become Queen.
  2. Delilah - well, we all know her story. It's full of S's--Samson, secret, super strength, sleep, scissors, snip, snip!
  3. Lilith - dunno her but Faye says she's supposedly the first wife of Adam who left the First Man Ever because he wanted to do the missionary position all the time. Hahaha! Lilith, missionary can be fun!
  4. Salome - she danced for King Herod then asked for the head of John the Baptist on a silver platter as her reward. May silver platter nga ba? Must read my Bible again...
  5. Sarah - she was Father Abraham's wife. And she was drop-dead gorgeous. And so scaredy-cat Abe asked they pretend to be siblings because he was scared the king of Egypt will execute him to have Sarah (see what David did). Sarah agrees but when Egypt royal asks for her to share his bed, Sarah willingly obliges. Nothing like a king!
I add to Faye's list:
Esther, the queen who seduced her Persian king to command the execution of Haman, his most trusted (and her most reviled) adviser.
And Rahab, the woman who helped the Israelites bring down the mighty walls of Jericho. Oh, what's so bad about helping the people of God? She was from Jericho! She betrayed her own people!
And Jezebel, the Phoenician queen who had prophets killed left and right, even telling her king to kill a man just because they wanted his vineyard.
And Job's wife, who told Job to reject God after all his trials. You have to read that story to understand why everyone thinks God's worst trial to Job was keeping his wife alive!

I'm sure there are more. Let me read up again... =)

4 comments:

  1. There was Potiphar's wife, who tried seducing Joseph and then had him thrown into prison for rejecting her. :P O di ba, hell hath no fury...

    And I dunno if you'd consider the general-beheading Judith as one--unless you were the general.

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  2. Oh my! You're right, Chris! That Egyptian woman is terrible. Joseph was incarcerated for 20 years!!!

    I dunno who Judith is. Nasa born-again Bible ba siya? O nasa Apocrypha?

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  3. For some reason, this list is endless. Hehehe. And it's fun!!!

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  4. Faye, what can we say? The Holy Book is full of role models!

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