TOPAZ HORIZON

"Ask Frances" is a monthly blog series where I will answer questions from my readers. The chosen question will receive a prize. This month's prize is the Avon Anew Retroactive line because our letter sender is a bride.

The Anew Retroactive products are the latest innovation in Avon's multi-awarded anti-aging skincare brand. It repairs visible and invisible damage with its patented Focus Repair Technology that uses the power of ocean pearls. It also prevents future damage with its antioxidant ingredient that provides up to eight times skin protection. You can see results in just seven days!

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Our question this month is very long and detailed so please read carefully. I feel ill-equipped to answer her question so if you have better advice (preferably legal advice!), please leave your advice in the comments. Thanks! Anyway, here is our question...

• You have not needed those properties all these years so this isn't an urgent issue. If you've waited for so long, what's a few more years?
• Your relatives are the ones making you kulit about the issue. Why? I'm concerned that you said, "They could easily hire someone to fix the titles and change it to THEIR names." Why their names? Why not yours kung sa iyo naman yung mga ari-arian? 

* * * * * * *

If you have a question for me, send an email to frances@topazhorizon.com with "Ask Frances" on the subject.

Everywhere! Especially me because I have three little boys and tons of errands. With the terrible traffic, I don't like using our car. I commute and walk, even run, everywhere. That's why I've ditched my heels a long time ago for comfy but chic footwear. Any moms here traded in their six-inch heels for flats and sneakers? High five, right? Haha.

I chose Skechers because they're the No. 1 sneakers brand in the U.S.

So where do you go walking? I walk around the city a lot. I may not be visiting the gym lately but I feel like all the walking I do helps keep me trim. Here's a peek at where I've been walking around this week:

Going out with the family. I'm learning how to wear color on my feet again. My husband, Vince, says that because most of my clothes are either black or white, I should have more fun with my shoes and bags. So I'm trying it out with my new purple Skechers GOwalk! I love the material and the print—almost like a Missoni print!

Shopping. Oooh, I love wearing my Skechers GOwalk when we shop. It's so lightweight that my feet never feel tired or painful even after hours of walking around the mall and chasing after little boys!

Fetching kids from school. Because the traffic jams are horrible around my son's school, I usually tell Vince to drop me off a block or two from the school gate and then I just walk to school. Many days, when the traffic is especially bad and we're late, I make a mad dash! Never a problem because my sneakers have these things called Goga Pillars that make me bounce with every step.

Running errands for work and home. I'm a working mommy so I'm always out and about, paying bills, doing the grocery, bringing my kids to the pedia, attending meetings and events, collecting checks. I seriously wish I had an assistant who can do all these things for me! Since I don't, I'm just grateful that I have comfortable shoes to carry me through the day. I love the Goga Mat insoles of my Skechers GOwalk because I feel like I'm walking on pillows all day long.

My latest GOwalk shoes (yes, this is my second pair!) are purple. Like I said, I'm learning to wear color on my feet again. My kids picked them out for me. I usually pick just neutrals for my footwear but my husband teased me about that, you know, like how I should add more color to my mommy life. Because all I wear now is really black, white and gray! And navy. And red. Well, there you go—I still wear color!

The Skechers GOwalk collection comes in many colors. And in many styles for men and women, too, like slip-ons, lace-ups and sandals! Check them out:

I should be blogging about our recent staycation at the beautiful and wonderful Ascott Makati. And I should be blogging about my cooking and mealtime and dining tips because of my blog sponsor, Jolly. And I should be getting my Ask Frances post up and ready for publishing tomorrow... but I'm not. I can't. Because Angelina and Brad are no more!!!

To most of you who have been following this blog, you'd know that in my past life, I was the editor-in-chief of OK! magazine. My stint in OK! began during the wildest days of Hollywood—Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's reality TV marriage, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's whirlwind romance, and the never-ending Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie-Jen Aniston saga. My goodness. Some of the very best days in my life!

So I just can't remove myself from all the gossip sites this week because Angelina just divorced Brad! And in the most ruthless and shocking way, too—just like what Katie did to Tom.

If Angelina does it like Katie, Brad will never see those kids again (Although he'll fight for custody, says TMZ). Yes, didn't you know? Katie annihilated Tom in such blitzkrieg fashion that he agreed to all her terms of the divorce within a few weeks and now he hasn't seen Suri in years. Years. His only biological daughter. And we used to say Katie was a brainless zombie.

I'm pretty sure Angelina will demolish Brad, too. She's doing it now in the media. Master manipulator Angelina Jolie is one of the very few who came out of a lurid affair splashed all over the tabloids as a saint. Remember her moniker in the height of her mistress days? Santa Angelina. However does a mistress become a Santa Angelina??? Easy. Befriend media, send gifts, always be available for calls and clarifications, but always have a story about your charity, UN work, movie work, dying/dead mother, and beautiful kids. Change the story. I know this because I was in the thick of it in an international OK! conference, where the editors of the other OK! franchises were stunned at how Angelina always made the story about her goodness, not about the affair. And all those millions upon millions she and Brad made whenever they got pregnant, gave birth, and adopted! Brilliant!

I don't hate Angelina, okay (even though I'm Team Aniston all the way!). I have utmost respect for her. In fact, I think of her whenever Taylor Swift flounders about controlling her image. I always think, "Learn from Angelina, Tay!" The only person I can think of these days who is master at manipulating media, controlling her image, and milking said image for millions of dollars is Kim Kardashian West.

And Angelina's doing it now again. She released news of her divorce on a Tuesday, so all the print media have gone to bed and now can't really come out with the story till next week. So again she gets to control the narrative. Brad is left reeling and angry, upset that her wanting to have sole physical custody and then insinuating that Brad has a nasty temper and uses drugs implies to all that he is a danger to their kids. Wow! What a nasty reason to end a marriage, if true! And no, it's not because he allegedly cheated on her (not true at all!), but it's fascinating that the cheating news came out almost exactly the same time Angelina allowed TMZ to break news of her divorce. Hmmm.

It's getting ugly. And that makes me sad. There are kids involved. Six beautiful kids. And didn't this story start in such a—er, breaking up the Aniston-Pitt marriage aside—didn't this love story start in such a beautiful way? Two gorgeous and sexy people meet and fall in love, do charity work together, and raise a family together, while traveling the world as possibly the coolest family ever.

Woah. All this Brangelina news is seriously giving me intense Throwback Thursday feels. It's also making me terribly sad because while I wasn't a fan, those kids and their obvious affection won me over. I love a love story. Don't you?

My takeaway from this (and from every Hollywood divorce) is this: Don't forget your love story, don't forget why you fell in love in the first place (the past), don't forget the plans you made together (the future). Marriage is hard. I know. I'm married! Vince and I have gone through struggles. We're changing, our life is changing. It's so easy to drift apart. That's why you have to commit every day. Sometimes, I refuse to commit. That's when I complain, I bitch, I refuse to serve him. Sometimes he doesn't commit by doing the same thing. It happens. No one's perfect! But when we both fail to commit every day for days and days, then that's when real trouble sets in. And we have to guard our marriage against that. Let's make a stand to protect our marriages!

There's this beautiful poem by Abi Oborne of the blog Like Real Life going around the mommy circles and I'm reposting part of it below. Please read the rest of it on Abi's blog!

It's made me cry because I've felt that sometimes, that nobody sees me—the mama who is awake in the middle of the night, checking if her kids are cold, patting them softly back to sleep when they wake from nightmares, praying over them, breastfeeding, working in the dark so the kids won't wake up, crying and praying when the clients don't pay and the bills are here, chatting with the kid who wakes up and asks questions about life at 3 a.m., rising again when another kid asks for water, and basically not sleeping at all.

My nights are always chaotic but sweet.

But I also know that people do see me, the mommy me. Because I go on Facebook or Instagram in the dead of night and I post a status or share a photo and guess who likes and comments? Mommies, too. Yes, all of us moms awake in the wee hours of the morning. We silly, wonderful, exhausted, tireless, blessed mommies!

I see you. Thanks for seeing me, too. If only on Facebook! If only here on my blog. Thank you, fellow mommy.


(continued here)


Good night, dear mommies! Try to get some sleep. God bless us all!

I'm finally doing it, Loyal Readers! I'm doing a blog workshop again! This will be so much fun because I'm going to be so madaldal and I'll tell you everything I know about blogging. And when you've been blogging for 10 years like I have, you'll know plenty! And I want to share it all!

So let's do the Topaz Horizon Blog Biz: Blogging Chika Workshop!!!

Here's what you'll get:

• Tips on how to start a blog and create content that clicks with readers.
• Tried-and-tested ways to grow your blog. After this session, you have no excuse to say that no one reads your blog!
• How to make your blog make money. I'll teach you how to make a media kit, pitch to brands, and work with brands.
• Blogger etiquette on the blog, at events, and while working with brands.
• Style and beauty tips to look like a professional blogger, not like someone who never leaves her computer!
• Free facials from Flawless because you want to polish up your look!

What a fun afternoon we'll have! I'll be revealing secrets and we'll do a bit of chika and I'll also raffle off some freebies which I get all the time as a blogger!

Regular fee is P750 but from today till Sept 25, you can use this discount code to pay just P600: THBLOGFUN.

Just email me between now and Sept 25 with the discount code and pay via BDO or PayPal on or before Sept 30, to reserve a seat. Slots are limited! I like to keep the class small so we can really talk.

Sign up now! Email me at frances@topazhorizon.com and let's have fun learning how to make blogging money!!!

Thanks so much to FLAWLESS Face & Body Clinic for generously providing us their own office to host my workshop.

This is the Still Face Experiment.

It shows that when we don't react and interact with our children, it upsets them and hinders them from learning. Their emotional, mental and psychological development is severely compromised.

Hallooo, everybody! I am alive! My kids got sick again, on the very day I published my last blog post, which was 10 days ago. So Vito first, then Iñigo, then Piero, then Vito again (!), then Piero and then Iñigo, and then finally me. I guess all the sleepless nights lowered my immunity and I succumbed to the sick germs my kids were spewing all over our house.

While I thank the Lord, homeopathy, modern medicine, and my dear husband for nursing us all back to health, I want to take this opportunity to thank Crane Ultrasonic Cool Mist humidifier. Nope, this is not a sponsored post. I just wanted to do this blog post because I'm so grateful that we're feeling much better now, and part of the reason is our nifty humidifier.

We've had our Crane humidifier for a few months now. To be very honest, when we first got one, I didn't think much of it because our country is already so humid. Why on earth would we need a humidifier???

Because we have aircon, that's why.

The cold air from the A/C is very drying. It dries out our hair and our skin so we wake up parched, wrinkly and looking more tired than we should be. It dries out nasal passages and airways so those who suffer from asthma and allergic rhinitis might have their conditions triggered, which is what happens to us from time to time if we forget to use the humidifier. If your young kids suffer from nosebleeds, the dry cold air might also be to blame.

So as you can see, our humidifier's been a godsend—health-wise and beauty-wise!

Cool mist so you won't have to worry about hot steam burning your kids!

The unit is quiet and instantly produces mist. No waiting! No noise!

Easy to use—just pour distilled water and turn on!

It turns off automatically when there's no more water. You can really forget about it!

I included Crane Ultrsonic Cool Mist humidifier in BABY Magazine a few issues ago. Yep, mommy-and-magazine editor me highly recommends it! It comes in many fun designs, too, so your kids can enjoy having it in their room, although I got the classic drop design because I wanted to be able to use it around the house.


You can get Crane humidifiers from Rustan's, Toys R Us, Babyland, S&R, and from online shops Lazada and Key West Internationale.

My kids have been going to the hospital one too many times this August. That's because they were sick. Right after Vito's birthday, the kids fell ill. Fever, coughs and colds. Then we found out that half of Vito's class was also absent that week. Poor boys!

But they got better and here they are for their follow-up visit at the pedia, just to make sure they've recovered fully. They got vaccinated, too. Better make sure their bodies' immune systems are strengthened!

(Does Vitamin C really boost immunity? I found out here!)


We've also added a better immunity booster to their multivitamins and we picked FERN-C kidz. Why FERN-C kidz? Okay, you're going to find out a secret: Whenever Vince and I took FERN-C—yes, the Vitamin C for grownups—we got pregnant! It's not a fertility booster haha but we think it made our bodies super healthy so making babies was easier. I don't know, okay. All I know is we were never sick whenever we took FERN-C so when they came out with a Vitamin C supplement for kids, then our kids better take it!

Hi everyone! I'm starting a new series yet again. This time, I want to share with you conversations I've had with the people I've just met, have known for a while but I've always been curious about, and my own beloved friends. They'll all be working moms. This is for me really, because I've been looking for mentors, inspiration and community. So I'm going to look for working moms who inspire me and have a little chat with them... and share those chats with you through Topaz Talks!

For our very first Topaz Talks, I'm sharing with you a snippet of the lives of the 100% Whole Moms Cheska Garcia-Kramer, Marilen Faustino-Montenegro and Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio. They invited me and other moms to a little afternoon of fellowship a few weeks ago and it was hosted by Moleskine journals. We had a fun afternoon of sharing each other's stories as moms.


After sharing our stories and eating really good food at Vask Tapas Room, the celebrity moms that form the trio that is 100% Whole Mom then launched into what 100% Whole Mom is all about—caring for a mother's home, beauty and heart through workshops. Marilen, an interior stylist, shared tips on tabletop decor with H&M Home and flower arrangement with Fiora Manila. Cheska, popular endorser with her family, the social media phenomenon #TeamKramer, gave tips on mommy beauty with help from Inglot and Brow Haus. Then Rica, a devoted pastor's wife, reminded us all about being intentional about our mothering, which could be helped a lot through journaling (on Moleskines preferably!).

Rica's question to moms was, "How are you today?" This is a question no one asks us moms really. Us moms, we're just supposed to be super, to be on top of everything, to never drop the ball because if we do, the whole family will suffer. This kind of pressure is insane! But do we stop to ask ourselves, "How am I today? Am I okay? Am I happy? Am I grateful?" Do we stop to ask other moms this? No one does really.

Oh, but wait. I was asked that by my friend, Jing Lejano of Urban Mom, once at an event. I had stopped to chat with her, me all chipper and bubbly. Then she asked, "Kumusta ka na? Yung totoo?" And I just broke down. Like, then and there. What a mess! I was okay, okay? But the surprise of the question, of someone actually caring enough to ask how I really am, was so overwhelming, I cried.

Rica exhorted us moms to ask ourselves that every day, to listen to ourselves and to our own needs. Write it down! Reflect on what you wrote. Set goals. Take action. Take care of our own needs and dreams. That's how we take care of ourselves, and when we do that, we can truly care for others.


So of course, for Topaz Talks, I talked to Cheka, Carla and Len about journaling. Listen in!

What do you use your Moleskine journals for? 

Marilen: I use my journal to talk to God. Pour out my heart, write what I learn from my Bible reading. Sometimes I've written to people that hurt me, then I throw it away! Haha!

Rica: Everything. I am a person full of thoughts. I might actually speak more to paper than to people. So I jot down everything in a single notebook—from essays in progress, to cinematic lines, quotes from favorite authors or people, to grocery and packing checklists. Hahaha!  

Cheska: Writing my poetry, favorite sayings, verses, my doodles... Just basically my thoughts. 

How does writing down your thoughts, prayers, dreams, goals (or whatever you use your journals for!) help you as a mother? 

Marilen: When I go to the journal, it allows me to really slow down and reflect. It organizes my thoughts and priorities. I create steps to my goals in a journal or planner also. When I am "fixed" inside as an individual, I can be a better mom and wife.  

Rica: It helps me discern patterns of seasons and my life in general. I believe God has written my days already and it's just a matter of finding out which path He has set out for me. I think that when I write down thoughts, prayers and dreams, a certain pattern or message kind of emerges and it partly helps me get to the revelation of God to me about my life.  

Cheska: I grew up where my mother encouraged us always to write our thoughts and to write poetry. It was a form of release for me during the time my parents were separated. I never really wrote "diary style" but wrote poetry instead. So that carried over to this day—now I write my journey, love, sayings, goals that I am going through. Poems for my kids that maybe later on when they can understand better, they will know how much I love the three of them. Always been my way of release and another way to express myself. Sometimes we have a hard time telling people what we feel and it's easier when we write it instead. 

With the advent of blogs, apps and smart phones, why do you still use pen and paper? 

Marilen: I really still prefer paper because I am a visual person. I delight in writing. In creating different strokes with different colors. I retain more when I see it.   

Rica: Retention is still better when there remains to be something physical and tangible, I guess. I also cannot completely give myself over to the virtual way of things. It's hard to feel fully when you have nothing but an image and no materiality or spirituality. 

Cheska: I never really got the hang of technology... I always have my husband to tell me! Till this very day, I write it first and then start typing everything when done writing my thoughts. A lot of work but I'm really most comfortable with a pen and paper. A pen and journal at that!

Thanks for the little chat, Whole Moms!


To sign up for 100% Whole Mom workshops, join the community on Facebook.

I wanted to focus on journaling because that's something I can't seem to do well. Mostly because I noticed I become really negative when I write and it's only myself that's the audience. When I blog, of course I'm always honest but I rein in the negativity that overwhelms me sometimes because I have to think of my readers. People think I'm a sunny person but I'm actually quite the pessimist. I'm very critical of myself—that's why on this blog you'll see me write stuff like, "I'm gorgeous! I'm amazing! I'm a supermom!" mostly because I need to tell myself that or else I'll drown in my personal drama.

So, like Cheka, I don't journal in a "Dear Diary" way. But, like Marilen, I've found that when I write my prayers instead, that helps me a lot. Prayers take my focus from criticizing me to how God sees me—and God sees me so lovingly. Prayers make me write down my weaknesses, sins, and problems but I can't stop there because then I offer them to God for Him to make them right. Prayers turn my negativity to positivity because when I see myself, my life and my sorrows in God's light, then they are diminished and they disappear. So prayer journaling works!

I won't share my prayer journals, though! Instead, I'll share with you my new project: the bullet journal! I'm using the Chapters journal from Moleskine. I'll do a separate post on that soon... and maybe we can do a bullet journaling workshop together! BuJo is super fun!


*workshop photos by Sheila Catilo