TOPAZ HORIZON

I've always loved the story of salvation. For some of my friends, they don't like the theology of man needing saving. It makes them feel like they aren't good enough. Me, I like the idea that I'm not good enough. It just makes sense because I'm not perfect. I'm not the prettiest, the smartest, the sexiest, the healthiest, the kindest, the mostest of everything. And while I try to be a better person every day, I also rest in the sweet comfort that I may not be good enough for people, but I was good enough for Jesus to give His life for me. It makes my heart glad, no matter what life may throw my way.

Good Friday is when Christians grieve for the death of Jesus. I honestly don't understand why we need to kill Him every year. Why not just celebrate Easter, right? But today is the first-ever time I thought about Jesus in the grave and how his followers were scattered in fear and despair, their beloved Lord and leader dead. All they saw was Jesus in the tomb and they saw no future beyond it. And that made me think of all the times I felt fear and despair: when I was molested as a child, when I was bullied in high school, when I had an abusive boyfriend in college, when Mama died, when I lost my dream job, when Papa died—one year ago today to be exact. 

There were so many times I could've gone down the path of hatred, depression, and self-destruction. But every time I bounced back. Okay, sometimes I crawled back. But every single time I just clung to God's promises that He has plans for me, that there is hope for me, that there is a future. And yet every single time, too, I will confess that I couldn't see beyond the tomb. All I could see was the darkness, never the light. And I guess that's why I just clung to Him because I can't see what He can and I knew if I let go, I'd be swallowed up in the abyss. But because I didn't let go, He always led me beyond the tomb and my life has become bigger and better than I ever even dared to dream it could be.

    

So I was so happy that in my devotions today, I read this verse: “Jesus has the power of God, by which he has given us everything we need to live and to serve God. We have these things because we know him. Jesus called us by his glory and goodness. Through these, he gave us the very great and precious promises. With these gifts, you can share in God’s nature, and the world will not ruin you with its evil desires” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

The world tried but it failed to ruin me. Not because of me and how perfect and amazing I am. Far from it. Because of God's nature and the promises of Jesus, my little old self in all its weaknesses and imperfections was able to go through the darkness many times unscathed. How beautiful is that! Thank You, Lord!

I see all the people around me now doing their very best to overcome the fear and uncertainty that the novel coronavirus has suddenly wrought upon us. It's hard to see beyond this, to imagine the new world where a deadly virus is loose amongst us. I honestly don't know how life as we know it can go on. Things will drastically change, no doubt. What I hope is we don't lose hope. I see all the wonderful things everyone is doing—whether it's donating their time and resources to help frontliners and the less fortunate to whipping up amazing things in their kitchen to give happiness to everyone locked up at home. 

Yes, there is darkness around us but everyone is working hard in their own big and little ways to fight it. We are all little pockets of light! I still believe that faith in God adds more than hope. It protects us from despair and ruin. Let's not let these dark times ruin us, dearest friends. This will end, sooner or later. I miss the sun, walking around, freedom. I miss my family and my friends. But for now, I will stay home and cling to that hope that Jesus gave us when He broke the tomb, the hope for a better world and a future beyond our wildest dreams. It will come. I know it! I hope you know it, too.