TOPAZ HORIZON

In a purple folder in my closet are all the letters Mama ever wrote me. A daughter only appreciates the words of her mother when she becomes a mother herself. I loved Mama's letters before but when I became a mommy, I always have to wipe away my tears because I read her words and my mama heart knows why she wrote them.  

Today, I want to share with you her prayer for me and my siblings when it comes to our life's work. This was very important to her. Mama was a working woman. She never wanted to get married or have kids. She just always wanted to work because work made her happy. 

I'm like her. But I don't want to end up like her - worked to the bone yet buried in debt, gave her all to her family yet we never fully appreciated her. 

I'm always assessing my life as a result. I don't mind not having the job of my dreams because I already had it, twice: a magazine editor in chief and a columnist (I think of my blog as one, although I did have a newspaper column before and I now have my Project Vanity column, too). 

I've shifted my mindset, just late last year actually. My new thinking is this: My real job right now is to be mommy. And everything I do that makes me money makes that important job possible. It's helped a lot in changing my attitude towards my children and all the projects I accept. I don't expect happiness to come with the job, because happiness is not the purpose of motherhood. My purpose is to raise my children to be good people, who will be independent and will find their own purpose in life and make a difference in the world - be that world big or small. But I do find joy (that's different from happiness!) in my work because I am working towards a purpose. 

I've also changed my mind towards my work. Before I'd be snobbish. Now, as long as it's legit and honest, it pays the bills, and won't compromise my real job (mommy!), I'll do it. Because I won't be a good mommy if my kids are hungry and if I'm not using the talents and skills God gave me. I still need to work because I am also more than mommy and I shouldn't neglect that huge part of me.

So! Let's go back to Mama's prayer. I'll transcribe it here:

Lord, 

Let their talents never be wasted, watered down by mediocrity, or used to glorify anything or anyone other than You, Lord. I pray that You would reveal to them what their life work is to be and help them excel in it. Bless the work of their hands and may they be able to earn a good living doing the work they love and do best. Your Word says that "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16). May whatever they do find favor with others and be well received and respected. But most of all, I pray that the gifts and talents You placed in them be released to find fullest expression in glorifying You. 

Amen. 

Wasn't that beautiful? I pray it over my children because that is now the cry of my heart. Bless my boys, O Lord. Bless us all. Amen.