TOPAZ HORIZON

Let me tell you what's inspiring me these days. This is my calamansi plant. 

Three things happened this week that can't be a coincidence: (1) I'm in the middle of watching "The Crown" on Netflix and thought that scene where the Queen asks Diana to choose her engagement ring from a tray of baubles was a bit sad; (2) my kids and I put up our Christmas trees - we have three! - and one of them is quite memorable because when he proposed Vince put my engagement ring in it for me to find but I couldn't find it haha, and (3) this guest post on engagement rings appeared in my inbox! So I'm publishing it!

But how do you find the right engagement ring? Here is a secret I will show you. Have you heard about the 4Cs? And I mean Clarity, Cut, Carat Weight, and Colour. Yes, these elements are essential in selecting the ideal ring for your spouse. Even GIA-certified gemstones revolve around the 4Cs. They determine the cost and quality of your precious stone.

It’s My First Engagement Ring Purchase

For you, this may be your first attempt at purchasing an engagement ring for your significant other, and you are confused as to which one to select. You’ve come across several options and terminology that you feel overwhelmed with information overload. Hit the brake and let me explain some things to you. Buying a diamond ring with the highest rating in each gemstone category (4Cs) does not necessarily imply that it will appeal to you more than one that slightly falls short of any of the 4C class.

By the way, your diamond ring does not have to meet every criterion to be perfect. Perfection is just an illusion in the world of jewelry. What is essential is having a gemstone that appeals to the user and comes at an affordable price – except you have tons of cash lying in your bank account to splurge on an expensive ring. Even at that, it does not mean a thing.

What Should I Do?

The first factor you have to consider when shopping for an engagement ring is your budget. Yes, you must have a price cap. How much can you spend on a diamond ring without affecting your livelihood? Your jeweler will provide you with a broad range of rings, each having an individual price tag that meets a specific pocket size. You don’t have to save for years before affording an engagement ring for your spouse. Remember, time is of the essence. While you are saving up, she is growing older, and someone else is already asking her out.

You can always get her a better jewel over time. However, that doesn’t mean that you should be frugal as well. Purchase a diamond ring you can afford easily. If you don’t know her ring size, get anyone she is using currently or has worn, press it against a bar soap to get its impression, and take it to the jewel store to get the right size. But if you are not all about surprises, then ask her.

It's not news to say that this year is a really bad year for the world. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused millions of people to lose their businesses, their jobs, and worst of all, their loved ones. I didn't earn much this year. And since next year looks like it will be like this year, I'm thinking of closing down my sole proprietorship and just registering with the BIR as a professional.
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

“My hope is that by eating more vegetables, we will be able to help our local vegetable farmers, and in the long run, enjoy better health for ourselves and our families,” she added.

Prepare more healthy meals for the family with the help of Mesa Ni Misis: A Guide to Cooking and Enjoying Native Filipino Vegetables, available now on ABS-CBN Books’ Lazada and Shopee stores and in leading bookstores nationwide for only Php 250.00.

Visit mesanimisis.com for updates, information on how to help their programs, and events and activities. Watch the Mesa ni Misis channel for cooking tutorials. Follow Mesa ni Misis on Instagram and Facebook to be part of the plant-based diet community.
P.S. Congrats, Juana! Praying that your cookbook and advocacies reach every Filipino home!

Got a special package recently. Paper. A whole ream of bond paper, to be exact. As a homeschooling mommy, that's a big deal! What's an even bigger deal is this is Papel ni Juan, a Pinoy brand that made bond paper affordable for all of us schooling at home. The paper is manipis, though, and not super white. But pwede na, especially since we need lots of sheets for tests, print-out modules, and drawing and writing activities. Read on to learn more about this paper for a good cause!

This gorgeous home may be located in Berkeley, California, but I can totally see it on an Antipolo hilltop. I had a dream a few years ago that I would live in a house in the hills overlooking Manila. The house in my dream didn't look like this (it was one of those tiny, container-van type homes) but I'm going to call this a dream house anyway because when I saw the photos and the view, I fell in love!

This home was designed by R.W. Ratcliff in 1952. I have a huge thing with old Mid Century Modern houses. I love their simplicity and lines and huge glass windows. I just don't know how those windows will work in earthquake- and typhoon-prone Philippines. 

A few weeks ago, Facebook launched Messenger Kids in the Philippines, and, boy, my two older boys are having tons of fun with it. It's really helped them connect with their friends and even make new ones (all friend requests are sent and approved by me!). That's why when Facebook sent me this press release and a fun cookie-decorating activity for the kids, I was more than happy to share with you.
*To be featured on Press Release Tuesdays, send it to frances@topazhorizon.com.

I had a great birthday weekend and thank you all so much for the hundreds of well wishes over at Facebook and my DMs and Instagram! You guys! You made my 44th so happy. Thank you! 

I said on my birthday post on all my social media platforms that I was going to make myself pretty. I was going to put on makeup, blow out my hair, and put on a brightly colored dress because I want to document that my turning into a middle-aged woman (wait, I've been one since 4 years ago haha) is still oh so fantabulous. 

But motherhood happened. I was sleepy, my boys told me to nap nap nap, and so I did. And so this is 44 - chaotic, unshowered, hair in a messy pony, and TOTALLY LOVED!

Speaking of what I've learned, let me just quickly share with you 4 things I've realized now that I'm in my 40s.

1. Slow down. 

Maybe because I'm a mommy always telling my kids, "Slooooow down - you'll get into an accident. Gentle hands only so you won't break it. Take your time so you won't make mistakes. Slow and steady wins the race, guys." Maybe because I say those so often I've had to practice what I preach. 

I've mostly been setting goals since I was 13. I had planned on having all my dreams come true by the time I'm 30. And yep, they did. And you know what? It's not that big a deal after all. What do you do when you get everything you want and more and you're only 30? You set more and bigger goals. Well, that can be an endless pursuit of happiness that will forever elude you. 

So I slowed down instead, settled down, had babies. I opened myself up to what the world said I should try next and for the first time in my life, I started being generous with my life instead of taking from others. I just go with the flow now. It's much more fascinating and surprising, and oh so fulfilling.

2. Watch. Listen.

Oh, this was because of the 2016 elections. It's no secret I'm not happy with the current administration but we are a democracy so no matter what I feel and believe, I'm going to let this administration run its course. But to survive the disappointment, the shock, and the anger, I've learned to stop, watch, and listen. I won't yell at you anymore. I'll listen. 

Because of this, I've learned a lot about other people's lives and why they picked their choices. I may not be convinced they made the right choice - yes, even after all that observing and listening - but at least I can see where they're coming from. And really, it's a place of fear, anger, hate, and a feeling of being ignored for so long. That's why they wanted change, even if that change was for the worse for the nation as a whole. But individually, their lives improved or at least they felt seen and heard. For the first time, these people felt important. 

That's powerful. The lesson I took away from that is to make every single person count. Then their choices will be informed by validation, not by desperation.

(Blogged on Nov. 10, 2016: This is all our fault.)

3. I'm not important. 

I know that sounds terribly low self-esteem haha but if you at all know me, I have a really healthy self-image, to the point of conceit (at least that's how some people see my self-love). But the older I got, the more I understood that making my little self matter in this big world is not the point of my existence. What's more important is making this big world smaller so that no one ever feels little.

4. Love truly is the solution to everything.

It's my faith in God speaking. Or maybe my being a liberal hippie. Or maybe because I'm a writer and I truly believe in love, truth, beauty, and freedom. Maybe it's all of the above. You see, the older I've gotten and I've seen more of people and the world, the more I've learned that love soothes, comforts, heals, encourages, sustains, breaks through, lifts up, and changes every single thing in the world. Love for self, for others, for the planet. If we truly love, the world will be so much better.

I don't know why others grow old in hate, ignorance, and fear. I bless my age because it has given me wisdom and made me see that love solves every problem in the world. And it may look like there's so little of it now but if I just look, really look, and also pray (because it is not easy to love!), then there's so much love that I can give! 

And receive! Just look at my life! There's my dearest husband who has loved me for more than 20 years. There's our darling boys who shower me with hugs and kisses and the most honest conversations in my life. I have my family, my in-laws, my neighbors, my friends, and I have you! You who have stuck around even when I was so selfish and unlovable. It's all of you really, the reason why I've become a better person. 

Love is the answer to everything. It may have taken me 44 years to see that but I finally have. I am so grateful!