Sunday, April 20, 2025

Our After-School Game Plan

In our family, we do presentations. For example, our sons presented their report cards, how they got their grades, their goals for the last quarter of the school year, and their proposal on how we (parents, brothers) can help them reach their goals. 

Here's another one, which I'm sharing with my mommy readers! This is my presentation - an after-school game plan. The boys are aware of this, but since we've never talked about it (just me and their father nagging them forever), the boys don't really follow. So we all gathered round for a quick pow-wow, I made my presentation, and got everyone to agree with me!

Let's go over it: 




My sons always forget to unpack! This really upset me because we forget to wash their lunchboxes and water bottles, we trip over their shoes, and their uniforms and socks are strewn all over their bedroom! I swear they were better at unpacking when they were preschoolers (yes, I'm grumbling).


My sons know how to cook so they can really take over dinner prep. I get home at around 6:50 to 7:15 so I'm usually too tired to cook. My husband usually cooks, but sometimes he has work meetings that go on till 7 so the boys must take over this task. 



My sons bring their gadgets to the bathroom to sing. They love to sing musicals in the shower! They protested this slide haha so I said they need to find a compromise. Their Papa suggested Bluetooth speakers. I really don't like it when they have gadgets in the bathroom. Aside from accidentally getting their gadgets wet, I'm also paranoid about people hacking their cameras, and one of my singing sons will be in the shower and... I shudder to think about it. 




For this part, we discussed (1st quote) how these tasks don't actually take a lot of time. Just minutes every day saves us time and resentment. And to avoid feeling resentful, (2nd quote) we just need to focus on ourselves and our tasks. We shouldn't look at what the others are not doing, or we shouldn't think, "Hey, I'm washing more dishes than him," and neither should we assume that someone is intentionally not doing their chores. We can only control our actions, our thoughts, and our feelings. And that's what matters (3rd quote) - self-discipline! Doing our individual parts helps the whole!  

That's it! Just a 5-minute presentation and a little discussion, and we were all in agreement. No nagging, no arguing. Just a peaceful way to remind my sons of their duties, and a way for me and their Papa to let them know that we have goals, too, and we need their help because if all our time is spent on cooking and cleaning, then we won't have time and energy to make our dreams come true! When they realized we needed their help, they were willing to do their part. So hooray!

I hope this helps you, mamas! 

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Sunday, April 13, 2025

Brunch at Antonio’s PGA Cars



When your calendar is usually a jumble of Zoom meetings, school pick-ups, grocery runs, and deadlines, an invite to brunch can feel like a mini-vacation. But this wasn’t just any brunch. This was brunch at Antonio’s PGA Cars—where luxury meets leisure in the most delicious way possible.

Yes, you read that right. Antonio’s, the beloved Tagaytay institution known for its impeccable cuisine and elegant ambiance, has rolled into the city and found an unlikely home: inside the PGA Cars showroom right along EDSA Greenhills. I know, I know—EDSA?! But the moment you step inside, the noise of the world melts away. It’s calm, it’s chic, it’s shockingly serene for a space located at one of Metro Manila’s busiest roads. And did I mention there’s parking? Lots of it. (A mom’s dream.)

I had the joy of sharing the table with some truly inspiring women who juggle businesses, kids, passion projects, and more—Ginger Arboleda, Mansy Abesamis, Pattie Poniente, Dara David Roa, and Kat D. What a treat to take a breather with women who get it—the hustle, the heart, the delicate dance of ambition and gentleness. We swapped stories, laughed (a lot), and yes, planned future catch-ups because that’s what happens when good food meets great company.

 
This beautiful morning was hosted by the effortlessly stylish Vanna Garcia and brought together by the dynamic Emm Sulit of Game Changer agency. The setting was stunning, the conversations were soul-filling, and the food? Let me just say—it was worth waking up early on a weekend, blow-drying my hair, and slapping on makeup for!

We started with Octopus Croquettes—crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, like a love letter from the sea. Then came the Raclette, bubbling and golden, which went perfectly with the croquettes.


The Porchetta Sandwich was rich and indulgent, while the Pomodoro balanced it out with its fresh, comforting simplicity. 


The Gratinated Portabello? A mushroom lover’s dream. The Beef ala Planch was smoky, tender, and just the right kind of hearty. 


And of course, no Antonio’s experience is complete without a sweet ending: the Pistachio Cannoli was delicate and delightful, and the Basque Cheesecake—heavenly. All of this was enjoyed with strong, delicious coffee and a little sparkle courtesy of some chilled white wine—because why not?


What I love about Antonio’s PGA Cars is that it doesn’t try too hard. Well, it doesn’t need to. Yes, you’re surrounded by gleaming Audis and sleek Porsches, but the vibe? Surprisingly warm and welcoming. Open from 9 AM to 11 PM, it’s the kind of place where you can have a power breakfast meeting at 10, a romantic date night at 8, or a solo coffee-and-journal moment somewhere in between. No reservations needed, just walk in like you belong (because you do, mama).

Just be warned: with all those shiny cars quietly whispering your name, you might be tempted to leave with dessert and a new ride.

So if you’re a working woman craving a quick escape without leaving the city—or a mama looking for a little weekday sparkle—consider this your sign. Drop by Antonio’s PGA Cars. Because luxury doesn't always mean loud, and sometimes, the best kind of power move is taking a pause with people who fill your cup.

Want more stories like this? Let’s stay in touch. Follow me on Instagram for more snapshots of the working woman life—finding moments of joy in work, books, and laundry!
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Thursday, April 10, 2025

Keeping Everyone Online and In Touch: Top Tips for Heads of the Family


Hi, everyone! Let's talk about... Keeping everyone online and in touch!

Despite how interconnected everyone’s ways of life are thanks to devices like smartphones, it may still be hard to keep in touch in the ways that you need to—especially when it comes to your family. All the same, this is one of the most critical responsibilities for heads of the family, for example when it comes to work-from-home schedules or ensuring that kids can stream their lessons without interruptions. And now that the digital world has become the backbone of communication, education, and entertainment, reliable connectivity is more crucial than ever.

Parents, grandparents, and guardians of the family typically have to deal with problems like bandwidth bottlenecks, the high costs of utilities, and ensuring that everyone in the household has all the necessary resources for work or school. If this responsibility falls on you in any way, it will surely take some careful planning and a clear understanding of the options available to you.

To that end, here are some practical and actionable tips to keep your household connected and in sync, no matter what comes your way:

Choose the Right Data Plan

Whenever any of your family members is on the move, staying connected can be just as important as having a reliable connection at home. If anyone expects to stream videos during long car rides, check emails, or attend online classes on the go, the right data plan will be essential for meeting everyone’s needs without breaking the bank.

Start by assessing your family’s usage habits. Heavy streamers, gamers, and video callers may require more generous plans, while occasional web browsing or social media use will match smaller, more economical options.

Prepaid plans provide a flexible and cost-effective solution for families. They’ll help control spending and avoid surprises on the family’s bills. Many prepaid options, like the ones offered by Maya, also offer features that maximize value, for example, plans that allow you to load with cashback. This allows you to save money while ensuring that you can recharge whenever needed. With the right plan, you can keep everyone in your family online, no matter where you are.

Prioritize Reliable Internet Service

Your home internet connection is no longer a mere utility, but the lifeline that keeps your household running smoothly. Whether they’re hosting virtual meetings, downloading videos and music, or working from home, every family member depends on a reliable connection.

Slow speeds or outages can quickly lead to frustration, especially when everyone’s trying to be online at the same time. That’s why you’ll want to be exhaustive about your choice of internet service provider (ISP). With a plan that properly fits your family’s needs, everyone will get what they need without interruptions.

When comparing ISPs, don’t just focus on flashy ads or promotional rates. Look deeper into what really matters: coverage in your area, consistent performance, and responsive customer service. Moreover, consider talking to neighbors or checking reviews to see which providers deliver on their promises. A solid internet connection will make all the difference in keeping your family online, productive, and connected every day.

Think About How to Manage Device Use Effectively

Did you know that even the fastest internet connection can feel sluggish when everyone in the house is online simultaneously? Playing online games, downloading large files, gaming, and video conferencing all compete for bandwidth, and without proper management, your household could face slow speeds or constant buffering. The key to avoiding these frustrations lies in managing how devices are used across your network.

Start by setting some ground rules to balance usage during peak times. Scheduling high-data activities, like live streaming or cloud gaming, for off-peak hours can free up bandwidth when others need it most. Parental controls and screen-time limits are also great methods for managing younger users’ internet habits while ensuring enough capacity for work and school needs. As the family head, take charge of creating a system that works for everyone.

Equip the Household with the Right Tools

Keeping everyone online and in touch starts with having the right equipment at home. After all, even the most expensive internet plan can underperform if your tools are outdated or improperly set up. Older routers or poorly placed modems can create dead zones, weaken signals, and lead to constant frustrations for your family when you’re trying to connect.

To prevent problems like these, upgrade to a router that supports your internet plan’s speed and handles multiple devices seamlessly. If your home has large or hard-to-reach areas, you may want to invest in mesh Wi-Fi systems or extenders to eliminate weak spots. A central and elevated router placement can also significantly boost signal strength across rooms. Investments in modern, high-quality tools like these will allow family members to stay connected whether in the living room, the study, or even the backyard.

Stay Prepared for Emergencies

Connectivity issues can arise when you least expect them. Sudden power outages, service disruptions, or even equipment failure can throw your household’s online life into chaos. Without preparation, these interruptions can disrupt work, schooling, or your ability to simply stay in touch with your loved ones. Knowing that, be proactive about ensuring that your family remains connected even when the unexpected happens.

Have a backup solution in place, like a mobile hotspot, which can be a lifesaver during short-term outages. This will help you gain temporary internet access for essential tasks. For prolonged disruptions, a secondary provider with a prepaid plan can act as a good safety net for your family’s connectivity needs. You can also keep power banks handy to charge devices when electricity is out. Being prepared will help you keep everyone online and, more importantly, connected and functional during any emergency.

Your family’s ability to stay connected and in touch online will not happen by chance; it will require proaction on your part. These tips should help you ensure a seamless online experience for everyone in your household, all so that you can thrive together and stay in touch in this increasingly wired world.

*Photo of mom, inset photo of teenage girl and photo of dad from Freepik. 
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Sunday, April 06, 2025

Till death do us part? Sure... But there are many deaths, too.


I had a long talk recently with a blog reader who had an abusive husband. She was asking me how to stay. I told her to leave. She was a little surprised because she said I always seemed to be determined to work on my marriage because I believe in "till death do us part." And I do! But I'm not married to an abuser. That's why I believe in divorce, too. 

Yes, I believe in marriage, and I believe in divorce. One doesn't cancel out the other at all. They both have their place in a life honestly lived. When you’re true to yourself and you make choices not based on pressure or fear, but based on truth, growth, and integrity, then you're honoring both love and self-respect. When you commit to a marriage, that means you commit to loving and respecting that person. But when that person isn't loving and respecting you, choosing to leave that marriage is love and self-respect, too.

Because I'm married to a man who loves me, cares about me, and respects me, I know I'm going to stay married until death do us part. 

There are many kinds of deaths, however. There's the death of the body. Death of the mind. Death of the heart. Death of the spirit.

We obviously all know what death of the body is. But there's also physical abuse and sexual abuse. And the children can suffer this, too. This is dangerous because you and your kids not only get hurt, you can literally die. You must leave the marriage before you're killed.

Death of the mind is disrespect. If your spouse (note that I'm using the inclusive term) isn't respecting your intelligence, your decisions, your agency, your wishes, and your will, that kills the mind. You must leave the marriage before you're convinced you're worthless.

Death of the heart is indifference. When your spouse isn't showing you love and affection and treats you with contempt, or when your spouse cheats on you, that kills the heart. You must leave the marriage before your heart turns to stone.

The death of the spirit is dismissal. When your spouse doesn't support your dreams, mocks your worth, belittles your abilities, gaslights you, or lies to you, that kills the spirit. You must leave the marriage before your spirit is broken.

Then there is also a death of shared goals. What is marriage but a partnership? I actually don't believe marriage should be rooted in love. If everyone in love got married, what happens when they fall out of love? Do they divorce? It's silly and shallow to base a profound commitment on emotions that can shift with time. 

Marriage is a partnership between two people who decide to build a shared dream together and a family. But what happens when your dreams differ and your goals change? You're no longer moving forward in the same direction. What then? 

I remember a long time ago when my now-husband-then-boyfriend was complaining about life in the Philippines. I remember it distinctly because we were on an escalator in Robinsons Galleria and our relationship was going really strong until it hit me that he intensely disliked something I loved so much and if I were to choose between love for country and love of this man, I'm choosing country. So I said, "Then leave. Migrate somewhere. But I'm staying." Luckily, he stayed. For me or for what, I don't know. All I know is he stayed, we got married, and we had our wonderful boys. But in 2022, the situation was reversed. It was right after the elections, and I was so distraught by the results. I obsessively researched how to migrate to Canada. But this time my husband said he didn't want to leave. 

So what happens when dreams, goals, or you/your spouse change? Let me share what a wise person, my former editor Sir Achilles, once told me: The great thing about being legally obliged to stay together is that you stay together until you walk in the same direction again. And I will have to agree. If you're safe, secure, respected, and appreciated, then stick it out. You'll find a way back to each other.

But what if you're not safe? What if you're not respected, appreciated, or secure? That’s when you leave, mama. 

Of course, there's no divorce in the Philippines (yet!), but I think it's necessary to save lives. There are many kinds of deaths in a marriage, and no one should have to stay in a relationship where their body, mind, heart, or spirit is slowly dying. 

Marriage should be a place where both partners thrive, grow, and build something together. When that stops happening, when the relationship becomes more destructive than supportive, it’s imperative to say goodbye. Staying for the sake of staying isn’t noble—it’s harmful. Don't ever stay where you're abused, neglected, or dying. Please go before death literally parts you.

*Photo by Mark Timberlake on Unsplash

Follow me on Threads, @francesampersales
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Monday, March 24, 2025

Proper Diapering: 7 Things Moms and Dads Should Always Remember

Hi, everyone! Let's talk about...  proper diapering!

Ask any parent, and they’ll most likely tell you how caring for a baby is a full-time job that requires patience and a lot of learning along the way. One of their many responsibilities—and one of the most frequent tasks—is changing diapers. While diapering may seem like a simple routine, doing it properly can make a huge difference in your baby’s comfort, hygiene, and overall health.


A clean, properly fitted diaper helps prevent discomfort, leaks, and skin irritation. Good diapering practices also reduce the risk of diaper rash and infections, ensuring your baby stays fresh and happy throughout the day. For new moms and dads, diapering can come with challenges. However, with the right techniques and knowledge, diaper changes can be smooth, efficient, and hassle-free.

From choosing the right diaper to handling your baby safely, we’ll walk you through essential diapering tips.

1. Choose the Right Diaper Size for Your Baby

One of the first things you need to take note of when diapering is picking the right diaper size. A diaper that is too small may cause red marks and leave your baby feeling uncomfortable; it can also lead to leaks. On the other hand, a diaper that is too loose may not provide enough protection.

So, when you shop for your baby’s diapers, make sure they fit your child perfectly. If you have an infant, make sure to get something marked “diaper for baby” and check the weight range of the diaper size. It’s also a good idea to check if you can fit two fingers under the waistband. This indicates that the diaper is secure but not too tight. If you notice frequent leaks, red marks on your baby’s skin, or difficulty securing the diaper properly, it might be time to move to the next size. Since babies grow quickly, be prepared to adjust diaper sizes as your child gains weight.

2. Be Aware of How Often You Should Change a Newborn’s Diaper

Newborns need frequent diaper changes since they urinate often and have multiple bowel movements each day. As a recommendation, change a newborn’s diaper every two to three hours or immediately after they have soiled it. If you leave a wet or soiled diaper on for too long, it can cause skin irritation and lead to painful diaper rashes or even potential infections.

For older babies, the frequency of diaper changes may decrease as their bladders develop and start to urinate less frequently. However, it’s still important to keep an eye on your baby’s diaper throughout the day to ensure they stay dry and comfortable.

3. Always Wash Your Hands Before and After Diapering

Diaper changes expose both parents and babies to bacteria, making proper hand hygiene essential. Before touching your baby, wash your hands with soap and water to prevent the spread of germs. After changing the diaper, wash your hands again.

If soap and water aren’t available, alcohol-free baby wipes or a gentle alcohol-based hand sanitizer are a good alternative. Keeping a small bottle of sanitizer near the diapering area ensures that you always have a quick way to clean your hands after a change.

4. Properly Wipe and Clean Your Baby

After diaper changes, proper cleaning helps prevent infections and keeps your baby comfortable. For baby girls, always wipe from front to back to prevent bacteria from spreading to the genital area, which can lead to urinary tract infections. For baby boys, make sure to gently clean the genital area, paying attention to folds of skin where dirt may accumulate.

Some parents prefer using fragrance-free baby wipes, but warm water and soft cotton are a gentler option, especially for newborns. If your baby has sensitive skin or is prone to rashes, using just water can help prevent irritation. After wiping, make sure the area is completely dry before putting on a new diaper to reduce the risk of diaper rash.

5. Handle Your Baby Safely During Diaper Changes

Most newborns and young babies can move unpredictably, which is why you need to handle them carefully yet securely during diaper changes. Always support your baby’s legs by gently lifting their ankles rather than pulling on their feet. Avoid lifting their legs too high, as this can put unnecessary pressure on their lower back.

Additionally, ensure that you’re changing your baby on a stable, flat surface and never leave them unattended, even for a second, to minimize the risk of falls.

6. Apply the Diaper Correctly

A properly fitted diaper helps prevent leaks and keeps your baby comfortable. When putting on a diaper, make sure the waistband is snug (not tight) and sits just below the belly button; for newborns, you can fold the diaper down in the front to avoid covering the umbilical stump. You should also adjust the leg openings to ensure they fit well. There should be no gaps to prevent any leaks, but still loose enough so that there’s some space between the diaper and your baby’s bum.

7. Prevent and Treat Diaper Rash

Diaper rash is a common issue among babies, but it can be prevented with proper care. To reduce the chances of diaper rash, change diapers frequently to prevent prolonged contact with moisture. Also, apply a thin layer of diaper rash cream or petroleum jelly to create a protective barrier. Additionally, give your baby some diaper-free time to allow their skin to breathe.

If your baby develops a persistent or severe rash, consult a pediatrician to determine if medical treatment is needed.


Diapering is a daily routine that you’ll quickly become familiar with as parents. However, you need to watch out for small mistakes. Otherwise, they can lead to discomfort for your baby. With this in mind, consider following these diapering tips to help keep your little one happy, dry, and protected.


*baby photo by Ignacio Campo on Unsplash, products photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash
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Saturday, March 08, 2025

My word for 2025: Now!

Since my last blog post here was about birthdays, let me share my 48th! I always used to share my birthdays with my dear Loyal Readers but I stopped for a while... and so now that I'm feeling better, let's do that again! 


This wonderful day was months ago pa. November feels so long ago. My hair is still short here. And I didn't even brush it. Hindi man lang ako nag-reapply ng lipstick after dinner kaya ayan, outline lang haha. I came from a long day at work and was just too tired to care what I look like. I just wanted to spend my precious few hours with my family and celebrate my birthday with them. 

Grabe, lahat ng days at work ko long and exhausting, and my aging, perimenopausal body is trying its darndest to adapt. I'm actually healthier now than I was 2 years ago. So I can't complain. Life is getting better if only for the fact that I'm healthier. Alam naman natin na ang mahalaga talaga is good health kasi the state of the body really affects everything - your mind, your sleep, your attitude, your energy, your ability to do things, your relationships. So things are better because my health is better.

Still, my husband is concerned. I should lose a bit more weight (5 more lbs!), get my cholesterol levels down to <200, get my heart healthy and strong. I'm trying! I've done well actually. Please congratulate me! I've already lost 15 lbs (aaand 5 more to go but it's so hard to lose!), my cholesterol is down to 220 from 300+. My doctor literally pushed the panic button and bundled me off to the lab. And she said just slow exercises lang muna because she wanted us to be gentle on my heart. So I do a lot of walking, uphill and downhill, about 40 minutes 4x a week. I also did gentle strength-training for a while (lunges, squats, etc), but quit it when my weight went down. Oops.

Anyway, back to my birthday! The kids were with us on my birthday, as always. Vince sent me the photos to show off our handsome boys, but I decided not to include them because our sons are so very private. So kami na lang ni Vince! 


Tanda na namin, no? Do you, my dear Loyal Readers, understand that you've been part of my life since I was 30? And now I'm 48! Crazy! But thank you. May God bless you all with 48 good things this 2025! 

I'm very happy, despite not having a perfect life. I've always been so sure of what I want in life, diba? And for decades, I did live it. But now my life isn't perfect because I feel like kulang ang oras ko. My big birthday wish is I wish I have more time for my family and my house. My kids are growing up so fast and they look a little neglected - mahaba ang buhok, kusot ang damit. Okay, to be honest, kahit nung work-at-home mom ako, ganyan na talaga sila hahaha. But joking aside, they're doing well in school so that's why I'm grateful for my job, despite the long and exhausting days. My house also needs some loving. I was never a good housekeeper to start, so now that I spend 12 hours away every day, my house has descended into chaos. Haha I exaggerate! Vince has everything under control. How he cooks, cleans, and drives the kids to and from school, on top of work (he writes for The Business Manual) is beyond me. I'm so lucky! But, as a former work-from-home mommy, I know that's really hard to do, too. So Vince is tired all the time. I'm tired, too. But we try so hard to still be there for each other. But yun nga. Kulang pa rin ang oras.

You know what sucks? Every night, I choose: Spend the remaining 3 hours of my day with my family or spend that precious time on the house, my writing, myself? It's not ideal. But my sons want to go to their school so I'm glad my job is generous with compensation. 

Don't worry! Like I said, I'm happy. But it took me 2 years of adjusting to my new life to get here. It helps that I'm healthier now. It helps that my sons are enjoying school. It helps that my office is easily accessible by train so I don't get stuck in traffic. It helps that I like what I do. It helps that my husband isn't the trad husband who would refuse to do household chores and take care of his kids because "that's woman's work." I'm not blind to the good things. I just wish I had more time.   


So I spent the last few months thinking, "Okay, stop whining. It is what it is! So how do I make this life work?" That's something we got from Tim Gunn of Project Runway. He always said, "Make it work!" And that's really what our attitude should be. Make it work.

So instead of thinking, "Sige, pag naka-graduate na mga bata, I can retire and write again," I thought, "What can I do now?" And I realized I just need to find little pockets of time. I read on the MRT. I make sure to chat with Vince throughout the day. I nap at lunchtime. I write when I can just before bed, after I spend time with the boys. I clean, kahit 15-30 minutes lang. 

And kahit konti, umuusad naman! I've written 2 children's books! I've started writing 2 journals for women! I've shaped my werewolf romance novels! I'm planning, plotting, and dreaming of new things to do and achieve! And that's crazy considering I'm so busy and tired, diba? Pero kaya naman pala, basta I'm kind to myself and because I have support from my husband. 

Oh, and I told my sons that Papa and I need their help to make our dreams come true. We can't write if we're cleaning up after them all the time. They're old enough to do chores! Sabi ko nga sa kanila, "At your age, I was already cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and taking care of babies (my sister lang pala)." And ayan, tumutulong na sila sa bahay. Kailangan pa rin utusan at pagsabihan but they're getting there. It's teamwork that makes the dream work!

And that work needs to start now. That's why that's my word for 2025. NOW! Dream now. Do now. Ask for help now. Work at it now. Exercise now. Eat healthy now. Kahit konti lang magawa ko, basta meron. I shouldn't wait for a better time, for a better schedule, for a better body, for better people to work with, for better circumstances, for better anything, for when I'm ready. Even when things aren't ideal, I have to believe I'm ready now! Just do things now... and then we'll see where this will take me!

So exciting, right??? That's my vibe this year. Make it work. Do it now. It will all work out!

I'll update you when those books are out! And when I finally lose those blasted 5 lbs! Have a great year!       


"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually, no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie
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Sunday, February 16, 2025

Birthdays

This weekend was my husband's birthday. We didn't take pictures of Vince! But my mind is on birthdays so I'll share photos of the kids' birthdays instead. I never posted these before. These were from years ago. I've stopped sharing their birthday pics for their privacy. But since they're bigger now, their faces have changed, and the kids told me they loved looking at their old birthday photos, so let's share a few here!
 

Here's my eldest boy's 11th birthday. He's turning 15 now and he doesn't look like that anymore. He's tall, broad-shouldered, serious, angular. He's in high school. He's an excellent student, and he even went to The Hague, Netherlands last year for the International STEM Olympiad, where he won medals in math and science. We're very proud of him! 


This is my second boy's 11th birthday, too. I was already working in an office so I didn't get to spend the day with him. That's okay, I guess (no, it's not), because my husband works from home so he got to make our darling boy's day special with homecooked spaghetti.


I joined them later for cake. And all was well. We're so proud of our middle child. He's turning 13 this year and in 7th grade. He's tall, with a shock of black hair, and growing broad, too. He plays the piano (self-taught!) so well and so emotionally. He's playing the piano now as I type. He's a deep thinker, very much in tune with his emotions, very expressive, and his vocabulary is even bigger and wider now. Well, he's always been like that (remember this love post when he was only 3?) so I shouldn't be surprised. But I still am. 

And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father. 

His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways. 

Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!

Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!   

Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!

I hope you had a good one, too! 

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Saturday, February 08, 2025

To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.


To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.

We take your words, your sad looks, your sighs,
but the grief we feel is of another kind.
We don't mourn his loss, this man I won't name.
We grieve the scars, the endless pain.

He was a father, a brother, a friend,
a husband, a son... and a curse to the end.
Behind closed doors, where shadows creep,
he stole our breath, he stole our sleep.

With hands that bruised, with words that cut,
with silent warfare, he left us shut.
He drained our souls, he bent our minds,
he took and took, left none behind.

We smiled! We sang! We wore the mask.
We hid the torment - a painful task.
Because family stays, right? Family hides.
So in our silence, more life died.

But finally, we walked away. We had to flee
to save ourselves, our sanity.
Then whispers came, "Where have you gone?"
They judged us since we left him alone.

We waited long for words unsaid,
a hint of sorrow, a past to mend.
We hoped he’d try, we hoped he’d see,
and own his wrongs, and just say sorry.

Yet silence reigned, no peace was sought,
no weight of guilt, no lessons taught.
So we forgave, for our own hearts' sake, 
because our peace he shouldn't take.

And now he’s dead! At last, sweet peace!
For us, the broken, we've found release.
We do not mourn him, but what he stole - 
the years, the love, the fractured whole.

So thank you for the words you sent,
but mourn instead what did not mend.
And if you wish to bring us cheer,
don't say, "I'm sorry," but "You're here!"

We survived! We didn't die.
We made new lives, we didn't cry.
We learned to laugh, to love, to live
and still found joy and more to give.

Congratulate us for breaking free,
for finding strength, for daring to be.
So thank you for your condolences true,
But today, we celebrate! We really, really do.

February 2, 2025. Cremation Day.


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I believe we should not speak ill of the dead. But I also believe, more strongly, that we should not speak lies. Silence may honor the dead, but it dishonors the victims - and they are many. Silence protects evil. 

Imagine, this man who died was estranged from his wife, daughters, and sisters. His own mother wished he was dead. Ever wonder why? 

And still, because of our silence, people think he was a good guy. Would a good guy repel the women in his family? Pay attention, especially you who shake your heads at us. We didn't have to say anything. Our actions were loud and clear. This man was a bad man. That is his true legacy. 

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Saturday, January 25, 2025

Book Review: Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

I've got the perfect read for the New Year for you! 




When I picked up Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera, I thought I was in for a romance. I expected a love story front and center—childhood friends discovering each other in a wholly new way, sparks flying, and happily-ever-afters unfolding. But this novel surprised me in the best way possible.


While there is a love interest (a childhood friend who appears sporadically and only becomes significant halfway through the story), this isn’t really a romance. It’s deeper and more profound: a story about facing life’s changes and curveballs with courage, curiosity, and an open heart.


Sarah Silvestre’s journey begins with upheaval—both personal and professional. Instead of retreating into the comfort of what’s familiar, Sarah takes this chaotic time in her always-steady life to reassess how she's been living: as a capable office manager, dependable daughter and friend, and reliable girlfriend. Meh. So thank goodness we meet Sarah when her world turns upside down because it pushes her to embark on a waterfall-chasing adventure across the Philippines!


Sarah's story resonated with me, especially how she confronted the unknown. I'm not a Sarah, so I don't relate to her fears. Sarah is someone who thrives on obedience and stability, someone who likes life neatly tied up in a box. Yet when the ribbon unravels and she finds that the box is empty, she doesn’t stay stuck moaning about it—she sets off to find something new. That's my girl!




Personally, I’ve never been one to keep things in a tidy box. Growing up, and even as a child, I insisted on doing things my way. Marching to the beat of my own drum has often brought me loneliness and trouble with the conservative people in my life (that's basically every single one of them, haha). But it has also brought me to people, places, and adventures I could never have imagined. That’s why Sarah’s story spoke to me—because I'm so glad I was never that girl... the girl everyone wanted me to be. Sarah finding her way by leaving home, climbing mountains, and jumping into waterfalls is a reminder for all of us at life’s crossroads: throw caution to the wind, live boldly, love deeply, and be outrageously brave.


My dear Loyal Readers know that my life motto is "The brave may not live forever but cowards never live at all."


Oh, and I've added a new one: "When Death finds you, may it find you alive."


Back to Sarah and her journey!


I like that this book introduced the love interest halfway through. That really drives home the fact that you may or may not find true love along the way, that a romance is beside the point. What matters is that you find yourself.


Steady Sarah is not just a call to adventure; it’s a call to authenticity. By the end of the novel, Sarah isn’t "steady" anymore, at least not in the way she was before. And that’s a good thing. She’s steady in a new way—steady in her courage, her self-awareness, and her trust in life’s unfolding.


This novel is an inspiring reminder that, sometimes, the best way forward is to leap, even when you don’t know where you’ll land. 

Congratulations, Justine, on your book!


Purchase Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho Tajonera at Amazon and Fully Booked.


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I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it! 

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