TOPAZ HORIZON

Since my last blog post here was about birthdays, let me share my 48th! I always used to share my birthdays with my dear Loyal Readers but I stopped for a while... and so now that I'm feeling better, let's do that again! 

This is my second boy's 11th birthday, too. I was already working in an office so I didn't get to spend the day with him. That's okay, I guess (no, it's not), because my husband works from home so he got to make our darling boy's day special with homecooked spaghetti.

And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father. 

His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways. 

Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!

Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!   

Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!

I hope you had a good one, too! 

The allure of a holiday season wedding captivates many couples and might even compel them to plan their weddings during the most wonderful time of the year. Imagine saying "I do" surrounded by the twinkling lights of December or during the fresh start of a New Year. Indeed, the yuletide season offers a magical backdrop for a wedding.

However, tying the knot between December and January in the Philippines comes with its own set of challenges. From competing with holiday events for venue bookings to navigating the whims of the chilly weather, planning a wedding during this time can seem daunting.

But don’t fret! If you and your partner have decided to wed amidst the bustle of the holidays, you can achieve the perfect wedding through thoughtful preparation and embracing the season's unique opportunities. With the tips below, you can orchestrate a celebration of your love that resonates with the warmth and splendor of the season.

1. Book Your Venue Early

The holiday season is synonymous with parties and other large gatherings, making it a peak time for venue bookings. So, for your wedding, start your search early and make your reservations as soon as you can to ensure you get your dream location. Popular wedding venues in Cebu and other large cities should be booked a year or more ahead, especially during prime dates like the holidays. To further avoid the holiday rush, consider booking midweek days as they offer more availability and lower costs.

Booking early also allows you to send out save-the-dates sooner, which is crucial for a holiday wedding when guests might already have other plans.

2. Plan for the Cold Weather

In the Philippines, the holidays are often marked by cooler weather, intense rainstorms, and sometimes even typhoons. While the country doesn't experience the freezing temperatures of a typical winter, the weather can still pose unique challenges for December, January, and early February weddings. If you’re considering an outdoor ceremony, it’s crucial to have contingency plans. Consider venues that offer both indoor and outdoor spaces so you can quickly move your celebration inside if a sudden downpour occurs. Providing umbrellas or raincoats can be a thoughtful touch for guests moving between different parts of the venue.

3. Budget Wisely

Budgeting for a wedding during the holiday season requires extra attention as prices for venues, catering, and other services can be higher. It’s better to be transparent with your vendors about your budget and look for creative ways to maximize it. For instance, your venue might already be decorated for the holidays, offering a festive atmosphere without the additional cost. Also, consider the timing of your purchases. Buying decorations or attire off-season can lead to significant savings.

4. Confirm Vendor Availability

With the Christmas season being a busy time for everyone, it's essential to confirm the availability of your vendors long before your event. These include caterers, photographers, florists, and entertainment. Be clear about your expectations and their ability to deliver on time, especially around peak dates. It's also wise to have a list of backup vendors in case of last-minute cancellations or changes.

5. Ensure Your Guests Are Informed and Comfortable

It's essential to inform guests about the wedding details well in advance because, as mentioned, many of them may have pre-existing holiday plans. Consider creating a wedding website or sending information cards with your invitations months before the wedding so they can prioritize your event. Make sure to include details about accommodation options, transportation, and any planned activities.

To enhance guest comfort, especially in colder weather, provide amenities like blankets or a hot drink station. If your venue is remote or is prone to be affected by the weather, consider arranging transportation to ensure everyone arrives safely and on time.

6. Embrace Holiday Decor and Seasonal Colors

The holiday season naturally brings a palette of rich colors and festive decorations. You can integrate these elements into your wedding theme to create a harmonious and spirited ambiance; doing this can also help you save on decor costs by utilizing the venue's existing decorations.

For something more unique, think beyond the traditional reds and greens; consider winter whites, blues, silvers, and gold for a sophisticated twist. Use lighting to create a warm, inviting atmosphere: fairy lights, candles, and lanterns can transform a space into a winter wonderland. Remember, the goal is to complement, not compete with, the holiday décor.

7. Capture the Holiday Magic in Your Photos

Your wedding photos are a cherished keepsake and a holiday wedding offers opportunities for breathtaking photographs. Collaborate with your photographer and take advantage of the holiday magic in the air by reflecting it in your photos. From snowy landscapes to twinkling lights, these elements can add a magical touch to your photos. Consider a mix of daytime and evening shots as well to take full advantage of the varied lighting during the holiday season. Don't forget to capture candid moments of guests enjoying the festive atmosphere—these spontaneous shots often become the most treasured ones.

8. Anticipate and Plan for Delays

The holiday rush can affect everything, from vendor deliveries to guest arrivals. Communicate with your vendors about contingency plans for late deliveries or other unforeseen events. If guests are traveling from afar, remind them to plan for possible travel disruptions. This foresight eases stress and ensures that your special day runs smoothly.

With these 8 tips, it should be easier for you to plan your wedding during the holidays. It's everyone's season to celebrate love and joy, and that includes your wedding! 

Your special day is a joyous occasion that can be magnified by the enchanting background of the yuletide season. While it can be challenging, the hurdles you might encounter when planning a holiday wedding are mere stepping stones to creating an event filled with warmth, love, and cheer. Follow these tips to help you weave the season's charm into your special day. Your holiday wedding can be a beautiful blend of romance and holiday spirit, leaving you and your guests with memories that will sparkle for years.

Hello, my dear Loyal Readers! I disappeared! My last post here was early October and lookie here - it's almost December! What did we miss???

Well, I missed you, that's for sure. I've always enjoyed sharing my stories here on the blog because you share your stories, too! And then I don't feel so alone. Thank you! But since I've been quiet, we haven't been talking. And I miss you all!

So let me tell you what's been up with me. I'm sharing some posts from my Instagram because I do a few life updates there. So follow me @francesampersales! But I'll do a summary here as well. 

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A post shared by Frances Amper Sales (@francesampersales)

First, some of you emailed or DM'd to ask about my literally bloody predicament in my last life update (School, Sex, Blood & Books). Thanks for asking! I'm better now. Not bleeding anymore. Huge relief considering I was bleeding profusely from August to October. What hell! I had to have a D&C so that the gynecologist can rule out scary diseases. 

Thankfully, I'm just perimenopausal. My reproductive system is okay, just acting up because I'm an old woman. What a relief! But it was a truly stressful week worrying about cancer. I switched birth control and after a few weeks adjusting to the shot, I'm sooo happy. No more blood!

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A post shared by Frances Amper Sales (@francesampersales)

Then right after I got out of the hospital, I was busy supporting my husband and the launch of his novel, The End of All Skies. It's gotten good reviews on Goodreads, Instagram #TheEndOfAllSkies, and blogs.

We're happy fellow Southeast Asians love the book. I'm hoping it also finds an audience globally. Our mythology is very different from the West, which is familiar with East Asian stories. But Filipino, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Thai, and the rest of the region? No. Even Moana was strange for many people in the West. We need to talk about our own stories because ours is so rich and wild and spectacular!  

Please buy a copy of Vince's novel! If you want a signed copy and a FREE copy of his first book, Children in Exile, order from me! It's P1,050 plus shipping. 

Send me an email - frances@topazhorizon.com. Now na! Thanks!

You can also get a copy from Amazon for $24.90 or download the ebook from Kindle for $13.99.

Anyway, it's not all happy news. My sons' hamsters died. It's been sad and sweet, saying good-bye to the cute critters that made the last 2 years so bearable. We thought we'd have one more year with them (tame hamsters can live up to 3 years), but apparently, their sole purpose was to keep my quarantined kids happy while the COVID-19 virus raged outside our home. And now that we're all vaccinated and better equipped to face the world, our hamsters went over the Rainbow Bridge, their task done.

Let me tell you that our hearts were so heavy the weeks we waited for the hamsters to pass away. They were old and slow, spending the days just sleeping. The kids were stressed, wondering, "Is this the day?" Finally, the dreaded days did arrive. My boys were so sad. I was sad, too, because I was the main caretaker of those hamsters! We comforted each other. And it's been 5 weeks but my youngest boy just told me as I'm blogging, "Mama, I miss Chocnut."

Gosh, we love you and miss you, Choccy and Spoody. Thanks for the joy! 

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A post shared by Frances Amper Sales (@francesampersales)

Then I turned 46!

I didn't do anything special. I was recovering from my health scare, neck-deep in homeschooling, trying to write my werewolf romance novel, looking for a job (which means no budget for any big celebrations!), and being a mom and wife. I was exhausted! 

But grateful. Always grateful. Thank you so much for the love! Maybe when I turn 47, I'll have pictures to share! 

Oh, another thing that I appreciate is I found out my blog turned up in these lists by Feedspot:

#26 in 80 Best Philippines Mom Blogs and Websites 

#32 in 100 Best Asian Mom Blogs and Websites

#22 in Top 80 Philippines Mom RSS Feed 

Thanks, Feedspot! I didn't even know I had an RSS feed. I'm kinda bewildered by this all since I was never on these lists when I was one of the top mom bloggers in the country way back from 2008 to 2016. Now that I'm hardly blogging and my stats have understandably gone down, my blog gets recognized. And on 3 lists, too!

I'm thankful. That tells me that despite the sporadic posts, I'm still writing good posts. 

That also tells me to blog again! 

I know everyone's on Tiktok now. Apparently, people don't read anymore and just want to watch people dancing and pointing to floating words while smiling and shaking their heads. But that shouldn't stop me from blogging because I'm writing for the ones who do still read. And you are my favorite people. The best kind of all - readers!

I have sooo many stories. Plus, some of you suggested topics or sent questions about my life and marriage so there - more stuff to blog about! So I'll get to that.

Hey, thank you for sticking around. There are so many other blogs and vlogs and social media accounts to follow, yet here you are. Thanks for caring. It means the world to me. You mean the world to me! I love you all! 

My blog post last Monday reminded my Loyal Readers that my kids aren't toddlers anymore. "Vito is turning 12?" Yes! "Where did the time go?" I don't know. I still stare at them and wonder the same thing. 

I haven't been sharing the boys' birthdays anymore but let me quickly share Vito's 11th birthday party last year. I want to give you - those who still call him Jelly Bean - a peek at my not-so-little boy's happiness.

So this was in August and we were all stuck at home, but that didn't prevent us from having a great day! We had guests anyway - a retinue of penguins, foxes, and wolves to help celebrate the big day!

Well, someone had a really good month! 

This is Aida. She's my best friend from high school and today is her birthday. 

You've seen her on this blog just a few times. That's because she left the country when we were in college to study medical school in the US, then married and started a family in France, and that's where she's been since. We both married men named Vincent and we are moms of boys! 

Oh my! I hardly blogged last month! Didn't I have a 30-Day Blogging Challenge? Whatever happened to that???

Well, this has been the happy happening:

The paperback copies of Not Invisible finally arrived on our shores and I've been so busy handling and sending out orders. This being the pandemic, I can't hire people to help me, although my second son sometimes helps with the packing. So it's been slow but so exciting!

Happy holidays to you all! We spent the last 10 months indoors, navigating what is perhaps the biggest change in our times. I hope you made it through with your loved ones. I hope you are counting your blessings - even the tiniest ones which often are the biggest ones, if you look at them again. I hope you are holding on to hope. 

Merry Christmas, dearest darling Loyal Readers! From all of us in our home to all of you in your home, may God bless us all.

It's the holidays! All you need for these recipes is fruit juice, fruits, sweetener, and Welch's Sparkling Grape Juices. You'll also need a champagne flute because the tall and narrow glass and its small opening preserve the bubbles better. If you don't have a champagne flute, just choose your tallest, skinniest drinking glass (a.k.a. Collins glass).

I had a great birthday weekend and thank you all so much for the hundreds of well wishes over at Facebook and my DMs and Instagram! You guys! You made my 44th so happy. Thank you! 

I said on my birthday post on all my social media platforms that I was going to make myself pretty. I was going to put on makeup, blow out my hair, and put on a brightly colored dress because I want to document that my turning into a middle-aged woman (wait, I've been one since 4 years ago haha) is still oh so fantabulous. 

But motherhood happened. I was sleepy, my boys told me to nap nap nap, and so I did. And so this is 44 - chaotic, unshowered, hair in a messy pony, and TOTALLY LOVED!

Speaking of what I've learned, let me just quickly share with you 4 things I've realized now that I'm in my 40s.

1. Slow down. 

Maybe because I'm a mommy always telling my kids, "Slooooow down - you'll get into an accident. Gentle hands only so you won't break it. Take your time so you won't make mistakes. Slow and steady wins the race, guys." Maybe because I say those so often I've had to practice what I preach. 

I've mostly been setting goals since I was 13. I had planned on having all my dreams come true by the time I'm 30. And yep, they did. And you know what? It's not that big a deal after all. What do you do when you get everything you want and more and you're only 30? You set more and bigger goals. Well, that can be an endless pursuit of happiness that will forever elude you. 

So I slowed down instead, settled down, had babies. I opened myself up to what the world said I should try next and for the first time in my life, I started being generous with my life instead of taking from others. I just go with the flow now. It's much more fascinating and surprising, and oh so fulfilling.

2. Watch. Listen.

Oh, this was because of the 2016 elections. It's no secret I'm not happy with the current administration but we are a democracy so no matter what I feel and believe, I'm going to let this administration run its course. But to survive the disappointment, the shock, and the anger, I've learned to stop, watch, and listen. I won't yell at you anymore. I'll listen. 

Because of this, I've learned a lot about other people's lives and why they picked their choices. I may not be convinced they made the right choice - yes, even after all that observing and listening - but at least I can see where they're coming from. And really, it's a place of fear, anger, hate, and a feeling of being ignored for so long. That's why they wanted change, even if that change was for the worse for the nation as a whole. But individually, their lives improved or at least they felt seen and heard. For the first time, these people felt important. 

That's powerful. The lesson I took away from that is to make every single person count. Then their choices will be informed by validation, not by desperation.

(Blogged on Nov. 10, 2016: This is all our fault.)

3. I'm not important. 

I know that sounds terribly low self-esteem haha but if you at all know me, I have a really healthy self-image, to the point of conceit (at least that's how some people see my self-love). But the older I got, the more I understood that making my little self matter in this big world is not the point of my existence. What's more important is making this big world smaller so that no one ever feels little.

4. Love truly is the solution to everything.

It's my faith in God speaking. Or maybe my being a liberal hippie. Or maybe because I'm a writer and I truly believe in love, truth, beauty, and freedom. Maybe it's all of the above. You see, the older I've gotten and I've seen more of people and the world, the more I've learned that love soothes, comforts, heals, encourages, sustains, breaks through, lifts up, and changes every single thing in the world. Love for self, for others, for the planet. If we truly love, the world will be so much better.

I don't know why others grow old in hate, ignorance, and fear. I bless my age because it has given me wisdom and made me see that love solves every problem in the world. And it may look like there's so little of it now but if I just look, really look, and also pray (because it is not easy to love!), then there's so much love that I can give! 

And receive! Just look at my life! There's my dearest husband who has loved me for more than 20 years. There's our darling boys who shower me with hugs and kisses and the most honest conversations in my life. I have my family, my in-laws, my neighbors, my friends, and I have you! You who have stuck around even when I was so selfish and unlovable. It's all of you really, the reason why I've become a better person. 

Love is the answer to everything. It may have taken me 44 years to see that but I finally have. I am so grateful!