TOPAZ HORIZON

It's always party season in our side of the world but when the -ber months come rolling around, there's a party almost every other day! Hello, September! And I'm already getting lots of invites to events. Now that my kids are in school, I have a little time now so I'm going to try to attend all (?!) the parties I'm invited to. It's always nice to see old friends and meet new ones!

An unforgettable invite from IG: @theinspirationseekers C and L

I noticed everyone sends save-the-date notices and invitations through Facebook Events these days, and it may be because I'm from the 20th century but I really seriously frown on that. For really special occasions (like weddings!), the invitation should be sent over mail or handed over personally. The invitation tells your guests so many things. Aside from the who, what, when and where, it also tells your guests if it's a formal affair or a fun get-together, if they need to dress up or dress down, if it's a social media moment or if it's strictly private. The invitation sets the stage for the event to come and should therefore be thought out and delivered with care.

Because I'm such a fan of "Shop for anything online!", let me tell you about this amazing website I'm currently crushing on. It's BasicInvite.com! I just discovered it last week and I'm going over everything, not for party invites, but for design inspiration for a possible blog makeover. Basic Invite lets it possible for you to create truly custom invitations—no art director or artist needed. Just look at these pretty samples:

My littlest boy isn't so little anymore. Suddenly, this July, when he turned 4, he decided he was ready for school and he was going to use the toilet "like a big boy." All throughout summer, he insisted he wasn't going to do any of that because "I am still a baby, Mama. I'll always be your baby, right?"

So we thought, okay, no pressure, he can stay our baby for one year more. But we don't know what happened. Maybe the birthday triggered it but Piero changed his mind and we're so happily surprised this whole of July! What a gift to us that he made us so proud!


My darling Piero. This is his tiny birthday party at 6 o'clock in the morning. It was a weekday so his older brothers had school and had to go.

I wanted to celebrate properly after school—with all of us dressed for the pictures, the table set, the gifts out, more time. But the boys woke up shouting, "Happy birthday, Piero!" "Is my birthday, Mama!" "Where's the cake?" "Where my gifts?" "What's your wish?" "I'm 4! I'm FOH!!!"


Sooooo... We just had to do the tiniest party we've ever done as the sun was rising on a most wonderful day!

That blurry image to the right is my hand trying to get him away from his candle. That boy. He always gives me a heart attack. But that's his gift to me: the gift of endless surprise and humility.

We had Piero because we thought ourselves so amazing at this parenting gig. But Piero—a surprising combination of Vince and myself in temperament and wilfulness—showed us that every child is different, and what we may think we can't handle just requires a change of thinking, a firmer resolve to try again, and that humility before your own children is always best if you want to have a good relationship with them.


Piero's also given his brothers the gift of patience and understanding. And though he is always annoying them, they are protective of him, always thinking of him, always adoring him. And also always annoying him! They bicker like an old married couple, day in, day out. I don't even know if they actually enjoy fighting each other since they do it a lot.


But they love him, that they do. They always wanted a baby and so we gave them Piero and they always dote on him. They think he's their baby.

For his birthday, they told me and their Papa what Piero wanted. They shopped for his gifts. They counted down the days. They chose and bought the cake. They made him so excited for his birthday! They are the best kuyas. They are a gift to Piero, too.


Happy birthday, dearest darling baby boy! You are what our family needed. You are the happiest baby we've ever known. You are thunder and sunshine and kaiju and jaeger and passion and tenderness  and a gift. We love you so very much! May you grow in wisdom and love, may you always have that fire in you, that stubborn will, that quick laugh, that sharp wit, and that fierce love for me.

Happy birthday, dearest bunchokoykoy! God bless you for always and always!

My mamas liked the photo of Iñigo and me in my Mother's Day post so here's another shot from that time, which was his birthday:


Yes, his birthday! He turned 6 last month. Please tell him your birthday wishes. He loves his birthday a lot!

He's a very happy child, my Iñigo. Vince is always saying, "We should bottle his laughter and sell it." Iñigo has the bestest laugh in the world. I thought my laugh was good but when this boy laughs, everyone who hears it just lights up. He has such a happy laugh. I wish everyone had his happy laugh!


He's also the one with the best sense of humor. All my kids are funny, okay, but they're different funny. Vito is a lot like me—very serious and we laugh at smart jokes. Piero is 3 so his humor is all toilet-related. Iñigo is silly and shallow and also smart and naughty and he truly finds something funny in everything. Everything is funny!


This is a good thing. He's good for me because I'm serious. I've always been a serious person but in my youth, I laughed a lot anyway. But maybe for a decade now, I have felt my sense of humor getting buried under increasing responsibility, endlessly busy days, and never-ending household chores. Only Vince and our kids seem to make me laugh these days.

Iñigo especially. Just look at him. That's him every day of our life!


Of all my kids, it's Iñigo who has a fans club of sorts. People tell me they're attracted to his huge eyes, mischief, and big smile. Well, you should see him in real life. He's so full of life and fun!

May you always be full of life and laughter, my dearest Iñigo. May you always bring happiness to everyone you meet. May you always be tender and kind. May you always see the joy in life, even during the darkest days. God bless you for being so generous with your time and laughter! Happy birthday again, my sweetest silly boy! Mama, Papa and your bros love you!

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

When Christmas is all about family, how do you deal when the one you most love is not there? Well, I'll get there but let me first tell you how I was feeling this Christmas. I wasn't feeling Christmasy, that's what. I was sick. What is this nasty cough-and-colds bug going around??? Everyone except my never-sick Iñigo got it. I also had work plus the never-ending projects and requirements from my kids' school. So I just wasn't feeling it.

But sometime in the middle of December, it finally kicked in—my excitement for the season. I was still sick, the school was (and is actually still) sending homework, and my clients did not pay me at all (so no money huhu) but I didn't care. Christmas was here! Joy to the world! 'Tis the season to be jolly!

This should be my 2nd Christmas =)

I was telling Vince that mothers is what makes Christmas possible. Yep. Who makes the lists, shops for the gifts, wraps them beautifully, plans all the activities, decorates the house, puts up the tree, wakes everyone up for church (if you go), cooks and cooks and cooks, hosts the parties, collects all the money and gifts in her bag, and then posts the photos on Facebook? Mommies. Always mommies! Okay, Vince was the one who posted the photos on Facebook but only because I reminded him to do it haha.

So you see, if mothers decided to boycott Christmas, Christmas as we know it won't happen. And so you see, if you're like me and you don't have a mother anymore, Christmas can be a shock to the system, a yearly reminder that the woman who made this season so magical is no longer there.

Mama's garden was still in the making. She got busy making babies first!

Christmas has always been Mama's season. She loved it! She put up the tree early. She wrapped all the gifts. We had fabulous holiday decor of felt and glitter and tinsel all over the house. We had different colored lights permanently installed on the soffits of our roof. We always went to ALL the parties and family reunions. And she loved the fruit cake, the fruit salad, that dessert that was a cake topped by gelatin with fruits suspended in it—she loved it all.

It was so funny when we became Born Again and somewhere along the way, we learned that Christmas is a pagan holiday because Jesus ought to have been born around the harvest and that falls around the end of September, but December 25 was decreed the date of Jesus's birth because people were already celebrating the birth of a pagan god and it was just easier for early evangelists to transition to that date. Etc etc. So basically, our then-pastor said, when we celebrate Christmas in December, we were actually worshipping a pagan god.

This was not okay with my mother. I think it was a crisis of faith haha. I remember her upset at the dining table talking about this with my father and Papa was, like, "To hell with facts!" (My papa was never a believer in facts haha). So finally she decided it's the thought that counts because we continued to celebrate Christmas anyway. And that was that.

Christmases at my aunt's QC home was a mandatory thing in those days.

We didn't have a tree anymore—for years!—but Mama still kept the vital Christmas traditions alive, which was church, family reunions, and gifts. She always gave gifts. Even when we didn't have money! I remember one Christmas her gift to me was she and my sister arranged all my photos (that had been in a box) in a cheap photo album. And I looked through that album and I was crying because it was such a wonderful gift. It was the gift of time that she gave me. She gave me her time arranging all those photos chronologically and she gave me a time machine because photos are always a trip down memory lane.

And that's all I have of her this Christmas and every Christmas. Photos and memories. Typical mother, she was almost always never in photos so I have very few photos of Mama at Christmas. The ones you see here, that's all I could find. I'm sure there are more. I remember vividly one photo of Mama in an Afro and electric blue eye shadow. Must have been a groovy Christmas!

Our last Christmas together and we didn't know it. The tree was Vince's gift because he thought my family should have one.

When Mama suddenly died in September 2008, we were seriously dreading Christmas. Like, WHAT NOW?! I didn't even want to go home and see that she wasn't there. But my sister Jacqui saved us all. She put up the tree because that's what Mama would've wanted. She said she was making fruit salad and asked what's our contribution.

And so we showed up, all of us except my older brother because it must've been still too painful for him. The tree from Vince was all lit up with Mama's pink decorations (so now you know why my tree is pink) and we ate and laughed and gave gifts and it was okay.

It was okay. We were going to be all right.

Our first Christmas without Mama.

And I know for people like me, people who no longer have mommies on Christmas, this season can be very difficult. We keep seeing who's no longer there. But for me, it's kinda nice. It's like a time machine. It's at Christmas I remember my Mama most. I remember Mama's excitement and singing and how she loved to eat and be with family. She was so happy at Christmas, wrapping gifts. She taught me how to wrap gifts and to make my scissors glide on that wrapping paper like a dream.  Most of the year, I'm too busy and brush aside memories of Mama. On Christmas, she comes back FULL FORCE.

I've learned to open up myself to these memories, to embrace the season, and to step into that time machine. Because New Year is coming up fast and then I will be swept away again by the urgency of small kids and work and marriage but on Christmas, amidst the whirl of it all, Mama comes back and I welcome her home.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, dear fellow orphan. We are so lucky to have been so loved. What a gift!

Too many things have been happening these past few months (hence, the absence from the blog!) but one of the very best that happened was my Vito's birthday last August. Seven years old! Seven years of absolute joy, my friends. Absolute joy!


I won't share so much about my 7-year-old son. He's aware of social media and he's aware of his right to privacy (they discussed it in school). But he allows me to post his photos now and then, sometimes he even tells me to take his picture, checks it if it (and the caption haha) meets his approval, and then he tells me to show it to my friends on the internet. He told me recently we can share a few photos from his birthday because he wants the world to know he's 7.

Seven! Where did the time go? I grabbed him a few days after his birthday and gathered him into a tight hug. I didn't say anything but he hugged me back and said, "Don't worry, Mama. I'll be your baby forever."

This kid! He always knows how to squeeze my mama heart!


Okay, enough about him. I don't want to spill too much about what a wonderful boy he is and that he's doing so well in school, and he's such a good older brother, and that he's incredibly smart and talented, and that I wish I can tell you every single detail about how this boy makes me so proud!!!

Let's talk about his mini birthday party instead!


Vito wanted a rainbow cake from Red Ribbon. Every time the TV commercial went on, he yelled, "Mama, come and see my cake! This is the birthday cake I want!" So off went his Papa to the mall and got him a rainbow cake, which actually just had three colors, but the boys didn't mind at all. They liked that it had candy lollipops.


Vito also had a short list about the gifts he wanted. Minecraft was on top of his list. He's crazy good at building amazing worlds in Minecraft. He even built me a pink-and-orange house and a village, too, so I can shop. That kid, always thinking about me!


Anyway, we got him a Minecraft set and his cousin got him the exact same set so Vito had two. So, being the silly kids that they are, he and his brothers decided to make one set a cake topper.

We had cake then he opened the rest of his gifts. Then we went to Landers because we had to do the grocery, and Vito, always the good sport, didn't complain and instead rejoiced that he can have his favorite pizza (Landers has really good pizza and chicken). Then we went home so he could rest because he was still recovering from a really bad cough. He played his video games, played with his brothers and his new toys, and went to bed early, happy and content.

A sweet and simple day for such a wonderful boy!


I still don't know why God gave me such a perfect little son. Oh, he's not so little anymore. In fact, he's long and gangly, helping take care of his brothers, mostly getting bullied by his younger brothers. He has so many friends in school that the other moms call him Mr Popularity. My husband and I, we were never the popular kind so this is so strange to us. I guess it's a good thing. It's always a good thing to be loved, right?

My Vito. So loved. Thank You, God, for giving Vito to us and letting him show us how to love and how good it is to be loved. Reveal to him his purpose, let him grow in wisdom and compassion, and keep him safe and healthy always. I can never thank God enough for my Vito. Bless him all the days of his life!

Piero is 3 years and 6 weeks old today. Yes, this is a birthday post 6 weeks delayed! A big part of the reason for the delay is Piero himself. In the last 6 weeks, his development has been huge—he's suddenly talking clearly, he's drawing real drawings (not scribbles), he's agreed to take baths without screaming bloody murder, he finally agreed to get a haircut (so we booked that salon appointment ASAP), he's asking TONS of questions and he won't let you go unless you answer them. It's been a fascinating few weeks, everyone!

We're so grateful that the Terrible Twos are over!!!


Today, I'll share with you a few photos from his little birthday. As usual, we had to have the cake early in the morning. We've given up dressing up the boys for the pictures—dressing up really early in the day just for pictures puts them in a bad mood so we're all in sleepwear with unwashed faces and unbrushed hair here. My mother would've been so disappointed haha She was very particular about keeping up appearances!

If there's one thing motherhood has taught me, however, it's you need to pick your battles. And much as it would be lovely to be like one of those stylish Instagram mommies with their stylish Instagram kids, my kids would rather be sloppily happy. So be it!

Piero's obsessed with Spider-Man now so he wanted a Spider-Man cake. We got one from Goldilocks. And he loved it!

He leaned in close to blow out his birthday candle...

And got cake all over himself!!! Sticky icing everywhere! Cake destroyed! Brothers amused! But I saw Piero start to get upset that his Spider-Man pajama top had frosting so I whisked him away and changed his shirt (thank goodness we have LOTS of Spider-Man shirts!), washed him up, tried to get as much icing off his hair as I could, and then we went back and blew out that candle again!

And had some cake. Hooray!

Disaster averted! Birthday party rescued!

Now for the gifts!


Piero got gifts from his brothers and his Mama and Papa and he was super happy. But he was even happier when we all piled into the car and went to Kidzoona!

We have soooo many photos of the birthday boy and his brothers enjoying Kidzoona! They were so happy! But little boys need to rest their excited little bodies so we all went back home for Piero's favorite - ube ice cream!


Dear Piero, you're such a character. Always bossy, always loud, always filling up the room with your personality, always insisting that you must have your way in a house where everyone is bigger than you. You never let anything make you feel small and you never give up or give in. While you're just like your parents, we have a sneaky suspicion you're going to be so much more than Papa and Mama will ever be simply because you insist on being gigantic in every way.

I pray that you'll always be stubborn and assertive. I'll just need to ask God that He show me and your Papa how to teach you to be a very good and righteous man so that you can use that stubbornness and aggression to fight for the weak, the small, and the downtrodden. I see big things coming your way, little boy. And you will take them on like the giant that you are! I can't wait to see this happen, my dearest Piero! Happy birthday, Mr. P! We LOVE you!