I'm excited to share with you this sweet little book,
Mama, Interrupted by Elaine Natividad Reyes. To my dear Loyal Readers, Elaine should be familiar to you because she and I used to be
the editors of OK! magazine. She's worked since then as features editor, beauty editor, and freelance writer.
And now she's added author to that list! I'm so proud of Elaine's new book and I'll tell you why today.
Look at this page from her book (beautifully drawn by Eleanor Bautista). This is how it starts. Elaine lays out the situation by describing the day of a typical mom. I relate to it a lot because that's me every single day. She was describing me! Many women are busy working on something and relying on coffee (or sugar or bone broth) to get them through their day.
Now, check out the entire page below. If this was an activity sheet for kids, the instructions would be, "Find the object that doesn't belong." (I encircled it haha) For moms like Elaine and me, our desks and minds and schedules revolve around our children. And we try to make everything else - husband, chores, work, friends - fit in.
Every mom is a working mom, that's what I always say. Doesn't matter if you're working from home or the office, if you're a housewife or the mom everyone at church/school/neighborhood counts on. If you're a mom, your hands are full. More full than anyone's hands. More full than anyone's heart, too. And I guess that's what makes moms such amazing people. Distracted, stressed out, exhausted, sleepless, yes. But amazing nevertheless.
Elaine writes -
This is how her days usually go,
full of stops and starts, rarely a smooth flow.
On top of all the things we have to do, Elaine touches on how we're desperate for help. For many of us without household help or family to rely on, we turn to that dreaded device: the TV, or the iPad, or the smartphone. Sometimes we have to feed the always-hungry kids instant noodles, or hotdogs, or chips. Because we don't always have the time to cook. Or sometimes because it's just easier dammit. But ease seems to be something mothers shouldn't enjoy, and there is a poignant pain that twinges my heart as I read Elaine's plea for understanding.
And then Elaine writes the words every mom says to herself at the end of another chaotic day.
Ain't that the truth.
In her Lithub article,
The Heartbreaking Ingenuity of the Mother-Writer, Olivia Campbell writes, "Women writers have always been up against the expectation that they can do it all, all at once. Male authors are lauded as disciplined recluses for closing themselves away to write; women are praised for juggling writing and family simultaneously. But you can’t have it both ways. Either writing is a laborious, worthwhile craft requiring time alone or it’s not, no matter the writer’s gender.
'How does she do it all?' society muses while staring at the bedraggled mom-author clutching her book in one hand and her baby in the other. By having no work-life balance or boundaries. Losing sleep. Hiding in pantries. Getting increasingly angry by the lack of support. By nearly drowning." (italics mine)
No sleep, no rest, no time alone to collect oneself. And yet we persist in doing the work that separates us from the roles of wife and mother. For me, it's my work that saves me from the drowning. It's my writing that convinces me I am my own person, even if I love giving myself to others. It's what stops me from screaming into the void of duty. It's what takes my eyes away from the despair of exhaustion.
Don't worry, the book isn't all desperation. After that page where the mom in Elaine's book is undone by all her unfinished tasks, the book takes on a tender realization.
Daddy to the rescue! I love how dads never seem to be worried. I guess that's how amazing moms are haha! Because moms are so focused on the tiny details, dads can see the big picture and know that we're doing okay, that this won't last, that this is actually the sweetest days of our life.
(On that note, not gonna lie, I am SO GLAD that stage is over. True, it was so sweet but I am in a much better place now that I can breathe. And read. And spend more than 5 minutes in the bathroom.)
And that's what I love about Mama, Interrupted. The book describes a mother's day - the chaos, the desperation, the wish to do her best - but it never shows resentment for the adorable interruptions. Having kids is difficult and the book doesn't shy away from that. That's why I urge everyone to give a copy to friends who just got married and are dreaming of babies. The book tells you it's going to be hard. But... It is what it is but it's not that bad as long as mama has support from her husband.
I appreciate that the book also brings attention to the role of dads. They're important, of course, as a father, but the mama also needs him as her husband, the one who anchors her when she's spiraling from all the drudgery of motherhood, the one who calms her down with his strength and logic, the one who assures her that after all this craziness, she still has him.
Mama, Interrupted is actually a book for moms disguised as a children's book. It's a love letter to her. It's an assurance - "I see you, mama, and I see all that you do. You're doing an amazing job." And isn't that what we mamas need? Not exactly gratitude because this is our duty. But it's ever so nice to be acknowledged.
All that in a little book? Yes! It's a tender book with many hard truths. Easy to read and digest because of the rhyme, and a wonderful gift to give the moms in your life to tell her, "I see you. I love you. I honor you."
Get your copy of
Mama, Interrupted by Elaine Natividad Reyes. It's only P399 but you save more if you buy more!
Order here.
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I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it!
