Showing posts with label Work & Events. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work & Events. Show all posts

Saturday, March 08, 2025

My word for 2025: Now!

Since my last blog post here was about birthdays, let me share my 48th! I always used to share my birthdays with my dear Loyal Readers but I stopped for a while... and so now that I'm feeling better, let's do that again! 


This wonderful day was months ago pa. November feels so long ago. My hair is still short here. And I didn't even brush it. Hindi man lang ako nag-reapply ng lipstick after dinner kaya ayan, outline lang haha. I came from a long day at work and was just too tired to care what I look like. I just wanted to spend my precious few hours with my family and celebrate my birthday with them. 

Grabe, lahat ng days at work ko long and exhausting, and my aging, perimenopausal body is trying its darndest to adapt. I'm actually healthier now than I was 2 years ago. So I can't complain. Life is getting better if only for the fact that I'm healthier. Alam naman natin na ang mahalaga talaga is good health kasi the state of the body really affects everything - your mind, your sleep, your attitude, your energy, your ability to do things, your relationships. So things are better because my health is better.

Still, my husband is concerned. I should lose a bit more weight (5 more lbs!), get my cholesterol levels down to <200, get my heart healthy and strong. I'm trying! I've done well actually. Please congratulate me! I've already lost 15 lbs (aaand 5 more to go but it's so hard to lose!), my cholesterol is down to 220 from 300+. My doctor literally pushed the panic button and bundled me off to the lab. And she said just slow exercises lang muna because she wanted us to be gentle on my heart. So I do a lot of walking, uphill and downhill, about 40 minutes 4x a week. I also did gentle strength-training for a while (lunges, squats, etc), but quit it when my weight went down. Oops.

Anyway, back to my birthday! The kids were with us on my birthday, as always. Vince sent me the photos to show off our handsome boys, but I decided not to include them because our sons are so very private. So kami na lang ni Vince! 


Tanda na namin, no? Do you, my dear Loyal Readers, understand that you've been part of my life since I was 30? And now I'm 48! Crazy! But thank you. May God bless you all with 48 good things this 2025! 

I'm very happy, despite not having a perfect life. I've always been so sure of what I want in life, diba? And for decades, I did live it. But now my life isn't perfect because I feel like kulang ang oras ko. My big birthday wish is I wish I have more time for my family and my house. My kids are growing up so fast and they look a little neglected - mahaba ang buhok, kusot ang damit. Okay, to be honest, kahit nung work-at-home mom ako, ganyan na talaga sila hahaha. But joking aside, they're doing well in school so that's why I'm grateful for my job, despite the long and exhausting days. My house also needs some loving. I was never a good housekeeper to start, so now that I spend 12 hours away every day, my house has descended into chaos. Haha I exaggerate! Vince has everything under control. How he cooks, cleans, and drives the kids to and from school, on top of work (he writes for The Business Manual) is beyond me. I'm so lucky! But, as a former work-from-home mommy, I know that's really hard to do, too. So Vince is tired all the time. I'm tired, too. But we try so hard to still be there for each other. But yun nga. Kulang pa rin ang oras.

You know what sucks? Every night, I choose: Spend the remaining 3 hours of my day with my family or spend that precious time on the house, my writing, myself? It's not ideal. But my sons want to go to their school so I'm glad my job is generous with compensation. 

Don't worry! Like I said, I'm happy. But it took me 2 years of adjusting to my new life to get here. It helps that I'm healthier now. It helps that my sons are enjoying school. It helps that my office is easily accessible by train so I don't get stuck in traffic. It helps that I like what I do. It helps that my husband isn't the trad husband who would refuse to do household chores and take care of his kids because "that's woman's work." I'm not blind to the good things. I just wish I had more time.   


So I spent the last few months thinking, "Okay, stop whining. It is what it is! So how do I make this life work?" That's something we got from Tim Gunn of Project Runway. He always said, "Make it work!" And that's really what our attitude should be. Make it work.

So instead of thinking, "Sige, pag naka-graduate na mga bata, I can retire and write again," I thought, "What can I do now?" And I realized I just need to find little pockets of time. I read on the MRT. I make sure to chat with Vince throughout the day. I nap at lunchtime. I write when I can just before bed, after I spend time with the boys. I clean, kahit 15-30 minutes lang. 

And kahit konti, umuurong naman! I've written 2 children's books! I've started writing 2 journals for women! I've shaped my werewolf romance novels! I'm planning, plotting, and dreaming of new things to do and achieve! And that's crazy considering I'm so busy and tired, diba? Pero kaya naman pala, basta I'm kind to myself and because I have support from my husband. 

Oh, and I told my sons that Papa and I need their help to make our dreams come true. We can't write if we're cleaning up after them all the time. They're old enough to do chores! Sabi ko nga sa kanila, "At your age, I was already cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and taking care of babies (my sister lang pala)." And ayan, tumutulong na sila sa bahay. Kailangan pa rin utusan at pagsabihan but they're getting there. It's teamwork that makes the dream work!

And that work needs to start now. That's why that's my word for 2025. NOW! Dream now. Do now. Ask for help now. Work at it now. Exercise now. Eat healthy now. Kahit konti lang magawa ko, basta meron. I shouldn't wait for a better time, for a better schedule, for a better body, for better people to work with, for better circumstances, for better anything, for when I'm ready. Even when things aren't ideal, I have to believe I'm ready now! Just do things now... and then we'll see where this will take me!

So exciting, right??? That's my vibe this year. Make it work. Do it now. It will all work out!

I'll update you when those books are out! And when I finally lose those blasted 5 lbs! Have a great year!       


"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually, no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie
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Sunday, November 17, 2024

At the MomCon 2024 media launch

I had a sweet time at the media launch of Mommy Mundo MomCon 2024 recently. I've not been in the mommy blogging/influencing circuit since 2019 so it was nice to see familiar faces again. Some of them (like mine) are older, while many still look the same, even better! Check out a few snaps from the event:

With Mommy Mundo herself - Janice Villanueva! So excited for all her plans for MomCon. And how cute are we? We're like strawberry and pistachio ice cream 😊
The OGs of mommy blogging. 
So sweet of Mommy Mundo to have our photos taken by Sheila Catilo and Stanley Ong!

These were the giveaways and will be part of the giveaways at MomCon 2024. I didn't get mine (I was rushing home because it was my birthday!) so I don't really know what the items are. I guess we'll have to go to MomCon to get our loot bags!

Let's learn about how to connect better - with ourselves, our children, and the world. See you at Mommy Mundo MomCon 2024: #CalltoConnect! It's this Saturday na! November 23, 2024, from 9 AM -6:30 PM, at the Samsung Hall, AMAura Premier. You can also join from anywhere in the world via live stream!

Get your tickets at mommymundo.com/momcon2024. 

Use this code: FrancesforMomCon to get a discount!


See you on Saturday!

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Sunday, October 20, 2024

We all need meaningful connections

This post was inspired by MomConnect.

This time last year was when the clouds in my head began to clear. It had been a difficult period because I had just started a new job, and my schedule changed drastically. I barely saw my husband, and I hardly spent time with our boys, who had also returned to school. Exhausted and sad, I distanced myself from family and friends, choosing instead to sleep and cry on weekends.

(Missed that life update? Read it here!)

By October, however, things started to shift. My body had adjusted, the toxic atmosphere at work resigned, er, disappeared, and I had finally completed my hormone therapy — the side effects of which had been wreaking havoc on both my mind and body. Slowly, I regained time, energy, and the emotional space to reconnect with the people I love and the things that brought me joy. Life started to feel manageable again, and I began to feel like myself once more.


You can't imagine the relief I feel now that I recognize myself again. Even my husband, Vince, says he feels the same way! This year, 2024, has been so much better, and I’m truly grateful.

To be fair, my family and friends were always there for me.* My sister Jacqui helped me sort through my thoughts, which was incredibly helpful. Considering she had a disastrous year herself, it’s amazing that she still went out of her way to support me. I honestly couldn’t do the same—I was too wrapped up in my own despair.

My friend Justine also played a big role in pulling me out of my depression, and she did it with the one thing that always works: duty. I had to edit her books, and even though all I wanted was to curl up and sleep, those deadlines kept me going and, in a strange way, kept me sane.

Slowly but surely, I started reconnecting with family and friends. I even found myself willing to chat with complete strangers again, which isn’t surprising—that's the old me. I used to love striking up conversations with people anywhere and everywhere. But last year, I was closed off, hostile to everyone. So, I’m really glad to feel like myself again. What’s even nicer is that my family and friends welcomed me back with open arms.


Let me quickly walk you through the photos! The top one is with my dearest friend and Lean In Manila co-founder, Ginger. That was such a fun day when our families took the Pasig River ferry to Intramuros—a memorable adventure. The next photo is from a long-awaited reunion with the OK! magazine girls, and of course, four hours was nowhere near enough to catch up! Then there’s a shot of me with my Praying Wives group (and a couple of husbands) during a fun dinner.

In the bottom row, there's Justine and me celebrating fantastic news about her book. I’m so glad I pushed through with editing her novel because... I'll share more exciting details when I know more! Next, that’s my brother Ted and my sister-in-law Rose with Jacqui and our kids. Vince and my other boys stayed home, which was a pity because we ended up having a wild road trip! Then there’s a lovely photo with Martine and Jean, two fascinating women. And finally, that’s me with the amazing Lean In Manila women during one of our workshops. 

As I reflected on my journey back to myself, I realized how powerful connection has been in my healing process. It reminded me of the importance of reaching out, even when things feel overwhelming.


That’s why I’m so excited to talk about MomConnect 2024, happening on October 26. This year’s theme, “#CalltoConnect,” speaks deeply to me. It’s all about fostering the connections that keep us grounded—whether it's with family, friends, or even new faces we meet along the way.

Hosted by Mommy Mundo, MomConnect will offer a full day of learning and interaction, bringing together moms and experts to discuss pressing parenting and societal concerns. Whether you’re looking for guidance, inspiration, or simply a sense of community, this event is an invitation for moms and families to connect in meaningful ways.

More details here! MomConnect 2024

I know firsthand how much meaningful connections can transform our lives, and I’m looking forward to attending MomConnect 2024 to learn more about how we can uplift each other as parents, partners, and friends. I’d love for you to join me! 

You can REGISTER HERE and use this code: FrancesforMomCon to get a discount!

I truly hope to see you there! It’s been a while since I’ve been in the mommy bloggers, influencers, and networking circles, and it would be wonderful to reconnect with all of you. If you spot me and I seem a little shy, just know it’s because I’m still finding my footing again. 

Anyway, enough about me! Let's all see each other at MomCon! Your presence would mean the world, and together we can continue supporting each other on this journey of motherhood and beyond. See you soon!



*If you're depressed, it's totally understandable why you can't reach out to people. When I was going through it, I felt dark and didn't want to BURDEN people with my self-perceived ugliness. 

So, to our family and friends, please be the ones to check in. "Hey, how are you? I'm coming over. I'm calling now. I don't care about the mess or anything, I just want to see you." Please just check in. You may save a life. 

Follow me on Threads, @francesampersales
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Friday, August 30, 2024

In 5 Years

It's August 30, 2024. I'm 47 years old. I'm married to a novelist who also writes for a business title. We have three sons—14, 12, and 10. I have one published book and three works in progress. I'm a book editor and the co-founder of Lean In Manila, and my day job is as a communications manager.

Five years from now, on August 30, 2029, I will be 52. I hope to still be happily married (like we won't be sick or dead) to Vince, who will be 55. Our sons will be 19, 17, and 15. That means we'll still need to work because we'll still have students, the eldest a college freshman, the second graduating senior high school, and the youngest graduating junior high. Looooong way to go before retirement!


A lot can happen in 5 years. Why, 5 years ago, in August 2019, I was a PR manager with little boys. By October, I'd resigned and became a work-at-home mommy. I was an influencer, a freelance writer, and a PR consultant. By January, I had signed 2 clients - the big one in hotels and tourism. But by March, the pandemic happened so I lost that business. We homeschooled our kids. I got a fun job as an editor for a copy agency with fashion and beauty clients all over the world. I wrote my first book, Not Invisible, (thank you for your support!) and that made me so happy I resolved to come out with a book every 3-5 years.

So in 2020, I wrote a book. In January 2021, it was published and ranked #3 New Release on Amazon in its category. I gave myself the rest of the year to promote it. The whole of 2022 was going to be writing the next book so I'll have my second book by 2023, 2024. I had been on schedule but then 2023 happened and I was derailed. In between, I went international and contributed to Boy Moms, the book by TheBump founder, I was published in Mother magazine, and was a finalist in the non-fiction category of Women on Writing. Meanwhile, Vince's fifth book The End of All Skies was published by Penguin Random House SEA so I got busy promoting his novel, too. Then my book editor job was resurrected when I edited Justine Castellon's novels. 

Now, my life has always revolved around words - writer, magazine editor, blogger - but the last few years have been especially wordy and I love it! So yes, the last 5 years were crazy. Crazy good, crazy bad. But all I can think of is how grateful I am anyway. And that I'm looking forward to the next 5 years while praying they will be kinder.

I saw this post on Instagram a couple of weeks ago and I want to do this activity, if only so I could focus on my 5-year vision.


I plan to accelerate my life!


I'll blog it! And it took me more than 30 minutes (2 weeks!) but only because August was extremely busy that I couldn't find time to sit down for 30 minutes and think and write it down! But I finally have time today. Hooray!


All I want is to be happy, healthy, and with my husband and sons, writing and editing. So yeah, I have everything I want!

Where am I living? 
I'm still living here in our condo, where we've lived since we married in 2007. I really love where we live, but I want a major renovation. It really needs a total revamp. 

But there's a part of me that wishes we lived in The Arton near Katipunan. I want my kids to study near their college, which will of course be UP Diliman. After almost 30 years of meeting and working with many kinds of people from different schools, I am still convinced it's the best university in the country.

Who am I waking up to next? 
I actually sleep by myself. My husband doesn't like this but ever since I started perimenopause, I have had a hard time sleeping, especially when someone else is breathing beside me (husband or child). But when I'm on my own, I can fall asleep within minutes. So I weighed it: my marriage or my sanity? My marriage or my health? My marriage adjusted. We're still very happily married and very happily sexual despite sleeping apart. 

That said, I hope when this perimenopause hell is done and my hormones have calmed down and my sleep isn't so easily disturbed, I'd be waking up beside my husband again. Especially since it's so delicious to wake up with him. 

What does my house look like? 
I would like my house to look more stark. More bookshelves for my piles and piles of books and storage to hide all our mess. My kitchen will be smaller but more efficient and very white. Bathrooms will be more modern. The kids will have custom-built beds and closets. Our bedroom will also have custom-built shelves and closets. There will be better lighting. There will be speakers in the ceiling in every room so that I can listen to music properly. I've been leaning towards white and gray for a while now. I guess it's because my life is so busy that I want to be surrounded by blankness. But my husband likes color so this is never going to happen. He's already had to adjust to my sleeping preference.

Maybe I'll rent a studio and paint it all white, put a desk and a daybed there, line the walls with shelves for my books. Put up a watercolor painting corner and take up drawing and painting again. Another corner can be a podcasting station maybe. I also want a big table for all my unfinished projects. I can go there to think and write. And sleep.

Virginia Woolf wrote in A Room of One's Own that financial constraints and the prejudice of society have inhibited a woman's creativity. And yet, while I agree, millions of women, despite having no money, no time, no rest, and no support, continue to still create. It's infinitely easier to create without worrying over bills, security, and childcare, and yet we women persist. I believe that's what makes us such beautiful creatures.

What time do I start work? 
Well, if I still worked at Personal Collection, I'd start work at 8 AM. But if I had my way, I'd start work at 10. That means I'd either be busy with my resurrected writing and editing business (it's dormant now but I'm still filing taxes via Taxumo) or I'm writing my third or fourth book! 

What's on my calendar that day?
Let's see. August 30, 2029, is a Thursday. I'll probably be working and then cooking. Then I'll have dinner with my family and then read or write. Same old, same old. But that's okay.

Who am I working with?
If I'm still with PC, hopefully, I'd be working with the same team. I like them a lot. I'd also like Lean In Manila to be more prominent in my life by then. We haven't had time to do more with it but maybe in 5 years, we'd be doing monthly Circle Sessions and talks and workshops. 

I want to work with more words so that means I want to work with authors as their book editor. Or I'd be working with my publisher because I'd have my nth book by then! I also want to write for publications again so I'd be working with more editorial teams.  

What is my salary?
You know, if life weren't so expensive, I'd be happy teaching kids, writing books, blogging, serving coffee in a little library cafe that's been my dream to start. I'd even be okay with arranging bookshelves in a bookstore. So yeah, my kids would starve if I did that haha

I've done the math and we just need P200,000 a month to live comfortably. I honestly don't want more than that. But I'm not earning that yet. I don't know how to get there but if you're hiring and would like to offer me that, let me know!

How do I feel about my job?
Assuming I'm still with PC, I think I'll be doing okay. I actually really like my job. I just don't like the hours. If it were a 9-5, it would be perfect. It's an 8-6. As a mom and an author, that makes me unhappy. 

So if in 2029, I'm in a job that's 9-5 (but pays 200K??? hahahaha) or better yet, starts at 10am, I'd be very very happy!

I really should just restart my business. I was earning okay. But I got too old for the hustle and the running after clients who don't pay. I just couldn't deal with the indignities anymore.

What is my health like?
So I had a bad year last year. My physical and mental health suffered. This year, I started exercising and eating better. Still not exercising daily and I really should add more fruits and veggies to my diet and curb the carbs. But I've already lost 10 lbs! That was my year-end goal but I achieved it in 6 months! Yey me!

So in 5 years' time, I hope to be fit and healthy. I want to be 125 lbs (I'm 134 now). I want to be able to run and climb stairs without huffing. I want to be muscled and toned with clear skin, my cholesterol levels down, my periods over, and I'll just be a crazy, happy, gorgeous, bitchin' middle-aged woman!

How often do I travel?
Hopefully, never. You know, that is the most un-Filipino thing about me. I hate leaving my house. I intensely dislike traveling. I mean, I'd do it if I had to. Like, if I'm forced to do it because it's a job or a wedding or something family-related. Okay, fine, I like traveling for work. And only for work. I hate traveling for leisure. So in 5 years' time, if I am traveling, I'm only doing it for my kids. Or family. Or work.


Why, no, everything I wrote I know about me, but I was surprised that I publicly admitted to hating traveling! 


I'm definitely adding to the working with others part. I've been itching to do collaborations again and meeting new people again and just working on something that isn't my job.


This is true! I've always had a crisply detailed vision of my future. Even when the kids stampeded over it and motherhood and my corporate job kinda drown me with all their might. My head bobs up from the waters of duty and I still see that the one thing I really want to do in my life is write. It's always been the shining beacon, the one thing that saved me from poverty, that got me my husband, that gave me a happy career, that kept me from going insane when my mental health suffered, and it's still the one thing that makes me completely happy. Life may get in the way but I also know I'll always steer myself back to writing. Now I just need to figure out how to make writing make me big bucks!

And that's what this whole exercise achieved! I realized I need to make writing make me not just happy and fulfilled but also make me lots of money! And this is our cue to laugh ourselves silly hahaha  

Well, this was a fruitful exercise. I'm giddy now! Let the planning begin!

I wrote my way outWrote everything down far as I could seeI wrote my way outI looked up and the town had its eyes on me

I wrote my way out of hellI wrote my way to revolution

Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it (I'll write my way out)Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it (write everything down, far as I can see)Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait (history has its eyes on you)
I'll write my way outOverwhelm them with honesty
- "Hurricane," Hamilton
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Monday, April 29, 2024

I have lived in the goodness of God

Wow, I blinked, and it's already the end of April! How did that happen? This year is going so fast, so before I blink again and find it's already Christmas, let me tell you about last year. 

My horrible year. My blessed year. 

Yes, it can be both things at once and I hope one day, when it doesn't feel like a fresh wound anymore, I will only see 2023 as blessed. 

Handa na ba kayo? I don't think I am. So I think this will be a rambling post. It's a year I'd rather forget, that's why I hardly blogged last year. That's also why I'm having a hard time telling you about it. I'm still processing.

Everything actually began months before, in 2022, when I had menorrhagia. I had to have all these checkups and tests and finally a D&C. All that was an unexpected expense so I realized I needed health insurance and a regular source of income. Then nung pandemic, nag-homeschooling kami but yung panganay ko, gustong bumalik sa school so we enrolled him na. He was happy to be back in school and medyo nainggit mga kapatid niya and so we all agreed that in 2023, babalik sila sa brick-and-mortar school. Kaso ang mahal ng tuition. Hindi na kaya ng income namin - my husband's job as editor and mine as freelance writer and editor for a content agency. I loved that job because our clients were fashion and home decor. So easy and so fun. Unfortunately, I was paid by the hour... and I worked fast. 

So I started applying. That was not a happy time for my ego. I kept getting rejected or offered a low salary, but I figured it was okay since I was still homeschooling my two younger sons. The plan was to finish the school year (that's May) and get a job in June. But then in December, an offer came along with a higher-than-average compensation package. I couldn't say no so I got the job, very exciting, and I started work in January.

My office desk

It was supposed to be a good thing, right? But I didn't anticipate the huge shock reemployment was going to be to my system. I've been a work-at-home mommy for 10 years and then quarantine meant I had my sons with me 24/7. Suddenly, I was away for 11-12 hours. I suffered from withdrawal like you cannot believe. I was crying every day of January. Literal na umiiyak ako sa MRT, sa office and then pagdating sa bahay, iyak ulit, then iyak bago matulog. In fact, I cried till September. No joke. Hindi na naman araw-araw, siguro weekly na lang. I was that miserable. It took me so long to get used to not being with my family.

That working-mom guilt? I now know what it feels like. I never felt it before because I worked from home. Now, I'm endlessly plagued by the thought I'm not a good mother. I'll tell you just one incident of several but this was the one that iniyakan ko talaga. Near the end of the school year last year, so in May, liniligpit ko yung school shoes ng anak ko when I noticed sira na shoes niya. I asked him kelan pa and he said mga one month na siguro. Sabi ko bakit di niya agad sinabi and he said, "Because you're busy, Mama."

Naiiyak na naman ako typing this. Hindi ko man lang napansin. For a whole month! And isn't that what makes us good mothers? Our ability to notice everything? To anticipate needs, to be alert to the slightest cough, to swoop in before disaster strikes. Hindi ko man lang napansin. 

Now I know some of you will say I don't have to do this. Well, my kids want to go to school. They don't want to be homeschooled anymore. So here we are. 

Anyway, new job, new life arrangements, new everything - that's what was happening outside me. I'm usually okay with external forces. Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bad bitch when it comes to challenges. I always have a "Bring it!" attitude. I call it my "invincible summer."


Unfortunately, internal forces were at play, too. I was going through perimenopause (let's do a whole 'nother post on that!) and I had begun a hormone treatment for my menorrhagia. I was in hormone hell. Still am actually but my treatment is over so I'm feeling lots better. That invincible summer? Gone. I was suffering anxiety and crazy mood changes. I was worried all the time. Afraid, stressed out. And did I tell you I cried all the time? Baka kasi di ko nasabi na umiiyak ako for 9 months.

It was so illogical and very unlike me. I have been through worse things in my life. An unsafe childhood. An abusive relationship in college. Job losses. Theft. The deaths of my parents. But I was never this deeply unhappy. For what??? If you take away my feelings, ang ganda kaya ng buhay ko. Good job, good home, great family, getting-better health. 

Some days I was happy. Most days I was sad. Some days I was fun. Most days I was a miserable mess. So it was a tough year for me and my family because we never quite knew which me they'd get on any given day. 

Then just for fun, I took this online test and... SURPRISE!

https://patient.info/news-and-features/quiz-am-i-depressed

And here I thought I was just going mad and being ungrateful. 

I talked to a few friends about this. My sister recommended her therapist. My husband knew, too, of course. But he was also going through a bad time. Not my story to tell but it was hard for us because we were both drowning and we couldn't rescue each other. 

On top of all that, I got ugly. My hormone treatment made me break out into huge pimples. Chin, jaw, cheeks, nose, temples, eyebrows. Stress made me gain 12 lbs. Perimenopause made my hair frizzy and my skin itchy. My cholesterol skyrocketed and xanthelasma appeared under my eyes. It was bad enough I felt ugly inside, but ugly outside, too? 

Without makeup. This was in December when I actually looked better!

Like I said, it was a bad year.

And yet, I don't want to think too badly of 2023. 

It was my youngest boy's first time in a big school. He started going to chess club, too. My eldest boy graduated from grade school and then he entered high school. I started seeing friends and family again. We went to Manila Zoo, Dreamplay, Manila Ocean Park. I finally got Covid but I didn't die - it was just a bad headache and a loss of smell and taste. I've suffered worse with ordinary coughs and colds. Lean In Manila had its first face-to-face event. And despite my husband and I struggling with our separate issues, together we were fine.  

So 2024, I believe you'll be better! I already feel better so that's a start. With my hormone treatment done, my pimples have subsided so I look better, too. I'm getting my cholesterol and asthma under control. I'm not crying at work anymore because I really do like my job. I just couldn't appreciate it last year with everything else going on. 

So what got me through 2023? Listening to these songs on repeat:


My co-workers hear me singing this all the time. And when I get to this part, nagdadasal talaga ako for deliverance:

I just want to speak the name of Jesus
Over fear and all anxiety
To every soul held captive by depression
I speak Jesus

'Cause Your name is power
Your name is healing
Your name is life
Break every stronghold
Shine through the shadows
Burn like a fire


I lived through 2023. I am alive and getting better. My family and my friends helped, but most of all, it truly was God who saw me through. I don't think I've ever prayed so much and so often in my life in a year that was, in all appearances, a wonderfully blessed year that I couldn't appreciate because of my hormones. My hormones are still there, wreaking havoc on my body and mind, but I'm taking it one day at a time. I really really hope I've gone through the worst of this perimenopause, but please pray for me anyway. I want to keep living in the goodness of God because He should be my invincible summer, the something stronger and better pushing right back at all the darkness.  



P. S. 
If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of depression or other mental health conditions, please seek the advice of a qualified mental health professional. That's another reason I hesitated to tell you this story because my faith and these worship songs, while they helped me, are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 
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Sunday, April 21, 2024

Empowerment Alert for Moms and Kids: Join the Self-Defense Workshop to Bond and Become Unstoppable!

Lean In Network Manila, in collaboration with Origins Athletics, is excited to announce a groundbreaking event designed exclusively for moms and their children: The Moms and Kids Self-Defense Workshop. Set to take place on Saturday, May 18, 2024, at 3 PM at Origins Athletics San Juan, this event promises to be an unforgettable adventure of strength, solidarity, and empowerment.



About Lean In Network Manila and Origins Athletics:


Lean In Network Manila is part of the global Lean In community, inspired by Sheryl Sandberg's book "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead." It's dedicated to encouraging women to pursue their ambitions and offering them the support and resources to help achieve their goals. 


Origins Athletics is renowned for its commitment to fostering a community of strength, health, and empowerment through fitness training and martial arts like jujitsu, judo, and kickboxing. As a pioneer in promoting physical well-being and self-defense skills among all age groups, Origins Athletics creates a supportive environment where individuals can learn, grow, and thrive.


Together, these organizations are joining forces to empower mothers and children with the skills, confidence, and bond that will serve them in every aspect of life.


Why You Should Join:


Learn Vital Self-Defense Skills! 

In a world where safety has become a paramount concern for everyone, especially children, learning how to protect oneself is a valuable skill. This workshop offers practical self-defense techniques in a fun and supportive environment.


Strengthen Bonds! 

What better way to strengthen the unbreakable bond between mother and child than through learning and growing together? This workshop is designed to enhance your connection with your child, while both of you gain confidence and empowerment.


Join a Community Movement! 

By participating, you and your child become part of a larger movement toward safety and empowerment within the community. It's an opportunity to be influencers of safety in your circles and champions of your own stories.


Who Can Join:


Lean In Manila and Origins Athletics are calling on 15-20 dynamic pairs of moms and kids (ages 5-12) to join this empowering activity. If you're looking for a unique opportunity to bond with your child and learn essential skills that could one day protect you and your loved ones, this workshop is for you.


More than just a class, it's part of a movement towards a safer, empowered future for our community. It's a chance to stand with us, learn with us, and grow with us. Be part of this life-changing experience!


Event Details:


Date: May 18, 2024, Saturday  

Time: 3:00 PM  

Location: Origins Athletics San Juan | 606 General S. De Jesus, San Juan, Metro Manila  

Registration fee: Php 1200 for a pair (Mom & Kid) via Gcash and BPI 

(Session is free for past attendees of Lean In events!)


Sign up here!


Spots are limited, so secure your place in this transformative journey today. Let’s embrace empowerment and make safety a shared adventure!


Join us at The Moms and Kids Self-Defense Workshop and take a significant step towards creating a safer, empowered future for yourself and your child. We can't wait to welcome you into our community of strong, empowered families.


For more information, join the Lean In Manila Facebook community and visit Origins Athletics.
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Friday, March 22, 2024

Juggling Kids & an Online Biz? Conquer Both with 11 Proven Time-Saving Hacks

To all parents out there, kudos. Juggling between parenting and running an online business is not for the faint-hearted.

While the internet has created opportunities for various online businesses, allowing many people to work from the comfort of their homes, it is a tough gig. And when you add parenting (another tough gig) to the mix, it can be challenging.

The never-ending duties and responsibilities can consume your physical, mental, and spiritual resources, leaving you running on empty.

Are there solutions to make the gig less tough? The trick is working smarter, not harder. In this article, let's explore proven time-saving hacks to help you along the way.

Back in the day when the kids were small and I was trying to do everything all at once. I made it work, yes, but it wasn't a good idea! I was stressed out all the time!

1. Set daily/weekly/monthly and yearly goals

Setting goals saves you time since it showcases what you must achieve and do at a specific time. Without goals, you run the risk of drifting along without focus.

Jot down your big 3 to 5 daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. Analyze them and break them into small steps achievable daily and build up monthly until you achieve your yearly goals.

With these goals down, you gain clear objectives that push you to create more time since you know what to tackle daily. It also minimizes jumping between different and unnecessary tasks.

2. Batch, anchor, and block schedules

Batching your time, anchoring various habits, and blocking schedules is a series of productivity hacks that enable you to juggle your online work and parenting.

Anchoring is where you tie two important tasks together. So, you do one while doing another.

For example, I can anchor drinking water and checking my email. Yes, I don't like having my inbox/Viber/Messenger all open and my notifications are off. The ping of new messages distracts me from work! So I set a time for checking email and when I do, I drink water, too. This ensures I stay hydrated while staying updated. 

Batching your time allows you to concentrate on similar tasks within a dedicated time and without interruptions. This means organizing similar tasks and concentrating all your energy in a specific time setting. Block scheduling means setting aside a specific time to perform a specific task.

For example, I try to block schedule my afternoon for the specific tasks of meetings. That way, I can get writing and researching tasks done in the morning and I can just focus on my meetings after. 
  
3. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!

What is most important to you? Does this task or activity get you closer to achieving your goals? If yes, then that is a priority; focus your energy on it.

Embracing prioritization and categorizing tasks according to their urgency allows you to focus on what is needed now while moving non-urgent and less important tasks for later.

4. Set a timer

When you schedule a task, set a timer. Setting a timer keeps you focused on the task at hand by concentrating your efforts to finish before time is up.

You can also try the Pomodoro method to increase your focus and productivity. My friend Mommy Ginger gave a talk on this in one of our Lean In Manila Circle Sessions! The pomodoro technique works as follows:

- Pick a task you need to work on.
- Work on it for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break
- Do 4 sessions of pomodoro, and then take a longer break

The pomodoro technique has been proven to increase focus, and productivity and help you beat procrastination.
 
5. Let everyone chip in

Chores are not simply the purview of one parent working from home. You cannot tackle every single chore by yourself, while running an online business and parenting. Divvy up the tasks and chores fairly. Do not become the family martyr.

If you have older children, create an age-appropriate chart and divide simpler chores for them to do. Letting your kids help with various chores gives them a sense of responsibility and allows them to develop life skills.

This is also something I learned from our recent Lean In Circle Session, "Reclaim Your Time." Involve the family, make them realize that everyone contributes to everyone's success. It's a team effort always!

6. Embrace a morning routine

A morning routine sets up your day for success. Embracing a morning routine enables you to structure the day, keeps you organized, and allows you to tackle more challenging tasks while you are still fresh. 

My weekday mornings go like this:
6-6:30 - Drink water, prepare breakfast and baon
6:30-7 - Wake the kids (I should get them to do this on their own actually), drink coffee while the kids eat breakfast
7-7:30 - Kids leave for school, I shower and get ready for work
7:30-8 - Check messages (personal and freelance work) while on commute
8-8:30 - Put on makeup while I check my work email, then jot down my tasks for the day.

7. Have a weekly cleaning schedule

A clean home is a comfortable working environment and a safe playing ground for kids. Cleaning, when not well planned for, can become hectic and tiresome. Plan to do light duties at certain times, while for deep cleaning, you can opt for it once per week, thus keeping the house clutter-free.

Here's a sample list of basic cleaning that can be done daily:
Make beds
Tidy up and pick up any clutter
Clean the kitchen surfaces and any food prep areas

Laundry, deep-clean of bathrooms, grocery, batch cooking - these can be done on weekends.

8. Use auto-pay systems

Paying bills can be a hectic, but easily forgotten chore. Whether these are your household or business bills, it pays to remember and settle them on time.

You can avoid penalties and inconveniences by setting up automatic payments.

Autopay allows you to pay bills online without remembering the due dates or checking your emails and mail all the time. It's an excellent hack for parents to save, reduce stress, ease bill pressure, and increase your credit score.

9. Embrace meal planning

Create a weekly menu, make a grocery list, and then order your groceries online. I use Metro Mart, but not often, only when I'm super busy. I still like going to the grocery and planning what I'll cook based on what I find.

Knowing the kind of dinner to prepare each night and buying groceries in advance saves time and, of course, money and cooking stress.

Additionally, you can embrace batch cooking and batch prepping. On weekends, make a large pot of stew, curry, casseroles, or other easy-to-freeze food. Freeze it in smaller batches, and defrost and make meals as needed.

You can use online meal planning apps like AnyList, Mealine, or Pepper Plate, or make one yourself and store favorite recipes, thus making it easy to plan which meal for which day.

Alternatively, try meal delivery services such as HelloFresh, to make meal prep time a little easier.

There is no one size fits all, do one, two, or all the above meal prep ideas, as it suits your family and your schedule.

10. Have a regular bedtime routine

A constant bedtime routine enables you to get enough rest and embrace the next day in a relaxed and calm manner. Some bedtime routine ideas may include taking a bath, picking the next day's clothes, packing lunches, and meditation.

I used to have a hard time getting to bed but now I just set my watch to remind me it's 10 pm, time for bed! I write down things I need to do for the next day, do a face massage while praying, then I'm asleep! 

11. Embrace professional help

Nothing beats a little help. This is the one tip I haven't been able to do! But I think moms shouldn't; be shamed for asking for and hiring help. If your budget allows it, embrace babysitters, cleaners, and other home help as needed.

Additionally, consider a digital marketing agency to help take your business to the next level. They can assist with your social media, web design, PPC, SEO, and other essential marketing tasks for an online business.
 
Juggling kids and an online business is not easy at all. Life pulls us in different directions, but the most enjoyable one for any parent is earning a living while being able to take care of their little ones. The hassles of working and parenting can take a toll on any parent. Try some of the above hacks to save time, improve focus, and increase productivity.

Liked any of my tips? I hope you did! I'm planning to write a book on how to juggle everything and still be happy. I don't know if I can write it yet, though. I don't have the time haha! But if you encourage me and promise to buy the book, I'll do it!!!

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