TOPAZ HORIZON

A stay-at-home mom DM'd me asking how it was looking for a job after 10 years as a work-from-home mom, and I was honest. I said it was disheartening.

There was one HR person who kept asking me what my college course was and how it was relevant to the editing job they advertised. And I said, "Look, I'm 46 years old. College was a lifetime ago. In college, I wrote erotica. That's sex stories. I wasted my time and my mother's money. But I have more than 20 years' experience as a writer and editor, even when I was - as you like to bring up - unemployed. That wealth of experience is what you should be asking me about."

Don't let HR discourage you. They ask from a list of questions. That list also told me they didn't even read the CV and sample work I sent. So just keep emphasizing your skills and experience. Downplay whatever flaw they find (in my case, being a devoted mommy was my flaw). 

Oh, that job earlier? I got the job. But I turned them down because of the low offer. Because I was "unemployed" for 10 years, even as I insisted I earned more money as a freelancer than any job ever (including my current one) 🙄

So, yeah, job hunting sucked but I'm happy with the job I did get. So if you're looking for a job, just don't quit. Tell people you're looking. Don't be shy. People will help but they need to know you need help.

And, yep, I'm still working as a freelancer and blogger. Still getting offers to write and edit. And do other things I've never done before! And I'm in the middle of 2 books, too. Exciting!

So getting past HR can be tough (I really wish they come in AFTER the department manager shortlists you), but don't be discouraged.

Tell everyone you know you need a job. Don't be ashamed to say it. I was, for 3 months, and so I bounced around unhappily. The minute I posted on Facebook that I needed a job, my inbox was flooded with offers to help. People want to help. Just ask for it 😊

Good luck!!!

"You have not because you ask not." James 4:2

Today marks my one month at my new job! I'm not announcing my job yet because I'm still on probationary status haha so I'll do a job reveal the second I get regularized. 

My job is very busy. Lots of writing! But I breathe writing so no biggie. Lots of meetings! Which badly drains introvert me. But since everyone is so nice, it's okay.

My biggest adjustment is working in a cold office. Yeah, surprisingly, I adjusted quickly to not being with my sons because the first three days of me at work saw me crying and saying I miss them. But my kids, bless their hearts, they said they don't miss me and, well, I suddenly didn't miss them that much, either 😅 Joking aside, I think they do miss me. They just didn't want to see me crying and so they did me some tough love. Those boys.

Anyway, I had asked HR at my initial online interview if the office is cold because that's, like, my dealbreaker. Cold pala is relative because she said it's not cold at all but here I am, freezing every day. But one month in and I'm better. I've decided to not be stylish and just bury myself in ugly but warm clothes. Plus, I commute. I go against the flow so it's an easy and super-fast commute, but ugly sneakers is the way to go. So no office OOTDs then!

I've also adjusted to my big neon, lime-green desk. I toned it down with a lot of industrial black and livened it up with a few touches of pink and a plant I named Chantelle. And since my youngest boy said he loves that shade of green, he helped me choose my desk stuff and so more of that green! I haven't put up photos of my husband and kids yet. Because seeing their beautiful faces makes me miss them and I don't want that.

The plan is to stay in this job till I retire - 14 years from now! Of course, plans change. I planned to be a magazine editor-in-chief till I die and look at what happened to that. Well, one month into this job and I'm optimistic. So let's see where this goes! 

I work in corporate communications. It's a big local company. We help Pinoys, Filipinas especially. I cry every time I watch videos of the women whose lives the company has changed ❤️

The team is cool. So capable. And hardworking. And terribly young. Today I told one of them when she was talking about her dad, "Gosh, I just realized I'm almost as old as your dad. You're young enough to be my kid." 

My husband told me to embrace being their mommy figure. So I will. I guess that says it all. I'm matronly 🥰

And yet, look at little old lady me. I have a new job. When you're 46, it's not easy to go job-hunting. It's so disheartening really, all the rejections. Then this came along because a former colleague referred me and now I'm doing what I do best and still learning more. My learning curve is slow in this industry that's so different from all my previous jobs. I'm always asking for explanations and clarifications (corporate lingo is a foreign language!). But everyone's been so patient because they know I've not worked for a corporation for a decade.

I didn't think I would get this job, to be honest. Those 10 years of being unemployed kept being mentioned during my interviews. I explained I wasn't jobless. I was working hard all that decade as a blogger, writer, editor, PR consultant, etc etc. I've never worked so hard in my life, these past 10 years. Then pregnant, breastfeeding, taking care of little ones pa! With no household help!!!

And that's why I went back to corporate. I got tired of the hustle. The endless prospecting. The chasing of checks. The working alone. 

The last 10 years was amazing. Best decade of my life! I learned a great many things and achieved what I never thought I would. 

Business owner. 

Influencer. 

Speaker. 

Newspaper columnist. 

Book editor. 

Co-founder. 

A frikkin' author!!! 

I still plan on continuing all I've done. I'm in the middle of writing a novel and a book of short stories. Yes, two books! We have big plans for Lean In Manila (yes, we'll be back with that, too!). I quietly started a Facebook group called Masayang Menopause. I'm now a bookstagrammer. And I'm also cooking up some stuff that's so exciting! 

So, yes, the last decade as a hustler will still continue but at a more relaxed pace now that I have a regular income. I can now focus on my passions! Oh, 2013 to 2022 was the best fun. But I'm old haha. I want to relax... by going back to being an employee in an industry I've never been in! What?! 

Life is full of surprises. 

I'm grateful. I've lived many lives. Here's to a new one!

So I haven't been blogging. Nothing in June, two posts in July, one in August. Ya, I know. What's up, right? Lots and lots, that's what! Here's the gist:

1. Work

It got really busy for a while, to the point that I was up till 3am every night. Then everything died down last month, which was welcome because of...

2. School

I was so stressed out wrapping up the last school year. My three kids were homeschooled so I drowned in giving grades and making portfolios. Then when that was done, I got busy with enrolling the boys for this school year. Then it was the start of a new school for my eldest boy and all the stuff that goes with face-to-face classes again on top of homeschooling my two younger boys. 

3. Sex

I went on a pill break because I've been on the pill since I was 22. I have endometriosis and the pill is an effective treatment for me. I've only taken pill breaks when I was busy making babies in my 30s.

Anyway, I took a pill break a few months ago because my periods have been erratic (perimenopause!) and let me tell you, I was overcome by a resurrected sex drive. My husband is very happy. Me, too! It feels like we're on a honeymoon frenzy. I can't keep my hands off him! You get a little peek at how I've been feeling in this post: 7 kinds of kisses. 

So it's been wonderful but here's the thing that's put our sex life on hold...

4. Blood

(If you're squeamish, skip this part.) 

So much blood! Today is officially the 13th day of my period. And every day is soaked in blood. When you have endometriosis, periods are extremely bloody. That's one of the reasons the pill is amazing - it reduces bleeding. When I went off the pill, I was surprised that I didn't have my periods for 4 months. So we figured I'm really menopausal. 

However, this month, all those missed periods came back with a vengeance. So I've been dealing with menorrhagia (heavy menstrual bleeding) and that means many changes of blood-soaked napkins, taking care of bloodstains on clothes and sheets, and feeling a bit weak and lightheaded from the blood loss. I'm honestly feeling under the weather as I'm typing this. 

Anyway, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to have this checked. I'm getting worried. Googling "menorrhagia" and the many conditions that may cause it is making me anxious. Hopefully, it's nothing and going back on the pill will solve it.

5. Books

Okay, back to happy news! I started writing a book! It's a teen romance that's also a werewolf romance. Yes, that's my new obsession! Werewolf romances! I discovered this strange genre last June and let me tell you, it's insane! Apparently, it's huge with women because it's truly romantic. I am so dazzled by it. I've pretty much read 30 novels in the last 2 months (that's a book every 2-3 days!).

All those novels pushed me to write my own! I love that my husband is a willing partner in the creation of my novel. I'm the one writing it, okay, but I ask him about certain plot points and when I need to check if a sex position works, he's only too happy to help try it out hahaha.

Anyway, I've been telling my followers about my little book project on my Insta and I'm really moved by the support and excitement you've been showing. I hope to finish the book in 6 months. Watch for it on Wattpad!!!

Of course, writing a book means I run out of words for the blog. That's why I haven't been blogging. I'm so sorry! I miss you all so much! Please wait for me. I'll try to update this blog every Sunday. Till then, please pray for me (because I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow) and wish me well on my writing adventure!

Have a great week, everyone! Love you all! 

Oh my! I hardly blogged last month! Didn't I have a 30-Day Blogging Challenge? Whatever happened to that???

Well, this has been the happy happening:

To my readers, please help me and support them back. I'll be blogging a review on Wolvit soon. Spoiler alert: I'm so excited about this hair, nails, and skin supplement! Then Welch's wants me to give away their products and my book to you! Watch for these exciting posts this March!

Finally and most wonderful of all, my husband celebrated his birthday, which was right after Valentine's Day, so that weekend and week was FUN! We had chocolates, ice cream, cake, and lots of sashimi! Vince didn't want me to greet him publicly (also known as a Fezbook greeting haha) so I didn't say anything at all, save for this vague one:

My husband and our boys having tons of fun! Today is a special day for our family but the celebrant doesn't want a social media greeting so let me just say may the Force be with these boys always and  may their bond be stronger than the interstellar one Mando and Baby Yoda has.

It's been a good start of the year, even though we still aren't out of the woods yet. In fact, despite the COVID-19 vaccination program starting this month, this is far from over. The anniversary of our quarantine is just around the corner and for us who survived or have avoided COVID-19 so far, the last year has been full of fear and also relief. I sometimes feel guilty for escaping 2020 unscathed. I've never been more aware of my privilege till the pandemic happened. I've been so good and careful. Never going anywhere unless it's for food, medicine, and essentials. Always washing my hands and adding the extra step of using alcohol. 

We can't take our health and life for granted! Please don't let your guard down. But I confess I kinda did today. I had to do some lab tests at 8 AM and because I had to fast for 10 hours, I was so hungry that I ate at a restaurant as soon as my blood was drawn by the clinic. The restaurant was empty. The A/C wasn't on. I wiped down my table and chair with alcohol. I was so safe. Then I forgot to sanitize the utensils and scratched my nose after eating. I was terrified for an hour. What if...?

But we can't worry about the future too much. And I had to remind myself of my new mantra these past couple of years - "I'll cross that bridge when I get there." I'll do my best to be prepared for the future but there's no point worrying about it until tomorrow is finally today. 

So many happy news! I went through a few bad ones, too. I hope this 2021 will be filled with more happy news than bad ones. The only things I pray for now are our good health and for God's provision. He's been good and faithful. So all's good! And that's my life update!  

 Way back in 2006, I blogged about a little dream in this post: What I think about on a slow Sunday evening. Six years later, I brought it up again in  My bookstore haul and mentioned it very quickly in Photo dump!. I dreamed of coming out with my own book, it will be published, of course, and hopefully loved by people enough to buy it and tell others about it.

This week, that dream came true. Please check out my new book, Not Invisible: A Memoir!!!

I shared the good news yesterday over at my social media that it's real - I am now a book author!

Okay, I don't know why my book came out in the Educator Biography category. It's not entirely inaccurate, given that I used to be a preschool teacher and I'm homeschooling now hahaha. But it should be under Parenting and Relationships. I'll ask my publisher, Ukiyoto, about that. 

And today, this happened:

#1 New Release

#8 Best Seller in Biographies of Educators

#13 in Two-Hour Biography and Memoir Short Reads

Not Invisible: A Memoir is a collection of the best posts from Topaz Horizon and Topaz Mommy. The latter is not accessible to the public anymore but for this book, I went back to that beloved blog and picked out a few essays. So if you've never read Topaz Mommy or you did and you miss it, please buy my book!

After selecting the best posts on marriage and motherhood, I realized that it wasn't a simple task to just put them all together. They had to make sense together, to have a consistent thread, and to flow well. That was not easy. I took out half of the text! From 40,000 words, I went down to 22,000. I edited and rewrote it all for print. Online writing is different, you see. I wanted the print version to read like a book, not a blog. So now many of the posts chosen for the book read like entirely new essays! 

I was also aware that readers of the book will be people who may never have heard of me. So I had to pay attention and make sure there was no reference that only made sense to Loyal Readers or people who know me. And while it's still very much about my life as a Pinay mommy, it also had to appeal to an international audience. Making this book wasn't easy (check out a behind-the-scenes scene)! 

So I assure you, if you are a Loyal Reader, that you may have read many of the posts on the blog but they are quite different in the book. Much better actually because now they're edited mercilessly! I want you to know that Not Invisible is a wonderful collection! Look at what my editor said:

I also had the help of my most favorite editors, Kat Dy Peters, Nicole Romero Vagner, and my most favorite editor of all, my husband, the Vincent Sales! Having four published books under his belt (fiction), his opinion was valued. In fact, I was a little scared to show him my work haha. On one hand, he's my husband so I'm sure he'll be kind. On the other hand, he's one of the best writers, editors, and authors I know so I was intimidated. 

I also asked my Loyal Readers to help me out! I sent out a few "help me!" messages and the response of encouragement and excitement wowed me. They were even more excited than I was! It was crazy haha Their excitement was what I needed to keep working on the book even though I was plagued with self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Ugh. I hate that imposter syndrome. So thank you, dear Loyal Readers, for helping me get rid of it! 

A dream only comes true with the help of others. I am so grateful to everyone who's helped me out, especially my friends and readers who asked me every year, "When are you coming out with your book?" That constant faith means the world! Look at where their faith got me!

And since we're on the topic of faith, I do want to share that last year, I was praying to God, "What do you want me to do? I feel like I have a book inside me but I don't know how that's going to happen and if it will ever get published." I kept praying about it and then, out of the blue, Ukiyoto Publishing, a traditional publisher in Canada, sent me an email, said they loved my blog, and asked me to submit a manuscript. Ukiyoto had just set shop in South East Asia and wanted to publish regional authors. And the rest of the story is above!

So I need to end this happy post with words that aren't my own but ring true now more than ever:

I've been blogging for 15 years by May this year. And, boy, have things changed! Before 2010, bloggers just wrote about everything they fancied. That's why bloggers were so trusted. Reviews were always from personal experience and since these were paid for from our own pockets, readers knew we had every right to say whatever we wanted - positive or negative.

Oh, those were the days! Such freedom! I didn't do reviews, though. I couldn't because I was the editor in chief of a magazine. I once wrote a glowing review of Olay on my blog. Pond's, a major advertiser of my magazine, complained. I protested, "My blog is a personal hobby. It has nothing to do with my job!" But my bosses persisted and so I deleted the Olay post and avoided doing reviews thereafter. It's okay. Reviews are an expensive thing to do anyway! (But do it because people Google reviews all the time!)

Around the start of the decade, brands started taking note of the huge following of bloggers and so advertising budgets were shifted from print publications to blogs. But with bloggers now taking payment for featuring a product, a restaurant, a salon, or a hotel, readers began doubting their credibility. I avoided this by choosing to work only with brands I believe in. That meant not raking it in, however. Sometimes, I will admit, I wished I could just say yes to all the offers since who's to know anyway? Well, I would. My family, too. And eventually, my readers would, too. The loss of my integrity is the most costly of all so I can't do it. 

I wanted to be transparent so all my blog posts were marked at the beginning or at the end with a "This blog post is brought to you by [brand]." And they were also tagged as sponsored posts. On Instagram and Facebook, I used the hashtags #THx[Brand] and #thblogsp (Topaz Horizon Blog Sponsored Post) until the platforms added the Paid Partnership feature. 

Now, it's my 15th year in the blogging world, and I know from emails from my Loyal Readers that they don't like blogs and Instagram accounts that are all about products and services because they never can tell if what they're reading is paid for or not. Influencers usually don't like marking posts as sponsored because followers don't trust paid posts. While it would be nice for bloggers to never charge for anything, a blog isn't a cheap hobby. And for influencers with massive followings, it really makes sense to earn from their influence, right? 

I'm not a huge blogger but I've built enough credibility to be considered an influencer (or in agency speak, KOL - key opinion leader). Even though disclosing sponsorships usually means fewer likes and views, I'll still disclose anyway and hope you'll still support me by liking the IG/FB post and reading the blog feature. I'm making it easier for you all to know if what I'm sharing is a sponsored post or a press gift. Here's how to know:

SPONSORED POST

I used to publish press releases on the blog on Press Release Tuesdays. I think that some announcements are interesting for my readers to know and it makes for additional content. But now I'm putting all press releases in my News to Know album. Mostly because news gets old fast and it's easier to post them on Facebook then delete after it's no longer relevant.

Thanks so much!

"Top mommy bloggers in the Philippines" was written last year and that one was intentionally written to get views. I know PR agencies and brands Google this topic all the time so I plan to update that post every year.

"Physiogel Calming Relief" is a review post from 2016. Beauty bloggers tell me that they get tons of hits because everyone's always looking for reviews before they buy products. But I've reviewed other beauty products and they don't appear on my top 10 list. 

The FERN-C post was published in 2016 and it did well only this year and I believe that's because parents got freaked out by the COVID-19 pandemic and researched for the best vitamins to boost their kids' immunity.

As for the BabyLove diaper pants 2018 post... I don't know what happened there. Maybe people are finally realizing BabyLove is a great diaper brand. Yes! I was a longtime Pampers mommy, even was a brand ambassador, but BabyLove changed my mind.

For this year's posts, three were about relationships. I noticed that a long time ago actually. Whenever I blog about my love story, the posts get thousands of views. Not my kids, not my work and money advice, not my sponsored posts - it's my marriage that people want to read about. I'd love to write about it more because I love my husband SO MUCH. But! But But! I happen to be married to a really private man who tolerates my oversharing because he knows I like oversharing. So since marriage is compromise, I scaled back on the marriage posts.

Here are the links to the other top posts, in case you're interested:

Koobits online math classes 

Morbid to-do list

Vince was serious about me

Advice for celebrity kabits

Mukhang pera

How to get in the mood for sex

So it's 2021 next week! And it's also the dawn of my 15th year as a blogger. WHAT! Fifteen years?! What do you want me to blog about more, dear Loyal Readers? What do you want me to do this new year? Tell me and let's see!