TOPAZ HORIZON

Contrary to what the title of this post may evoke, I'm not going to talk about morality issues. I'm talking about shopping. Yes, shopping!

As you all know (well, at least my Loyal Readers do!), I have always wanted a Tod's D Bag. But I never could bring myself to buy it because:

A. It's frakkin' expensive. Even though I can afford it, I just can't bring myself to fork over P100,000++ for a bag because...
B. I abuse my bags. Place them on the floor, throw them on the sofa, make them pillows. Plus, as a writer, I am always with a pen and I always end up accidentally writing on my bags or with ink spillage, which is sooo painful because...
C. See Reason A.

Well, now that I'm a mommy, another reason has come up:

D. Something always comes up.

Tuition fees. Vaccination fees. Maids who suddenly need to borrow money. And—the real culprit—our delight in spoiling our kids silly. Legos and it's not even your birthday? Sure! Cute Avengers pajamas? Sure! You like all those books even if you can't read yet? Sure!

Sigh. My husband Vince and I really enjoy making our sons happy. We spoil them with our presence (we both work from home so we are with the kids practically 24/7) and we spoil them with gifts because it is so much fun. It's for us—we enjoy the toys and costumes and games together so the money lavished on our family is always worth it.

So anyway, today, after a lunch with the Baby Magazine staff, as I was on my way to meet my Uber car, I passed by Tod's. And found this:

A Tod's D-Bow Bag in the perfect pink, the perfect size, and this time with gold accents. Total cost: P115,000.

Photos from Tod's Fall-Winter 2015 D-Bow Collection

A woman who was also shopping told me, "Don't Instagram it if you're not buying it. Someone will see your post and buy the bag."

It's not the exact D Bag I wanted (I always wanted the greige one) so it was easy enough for me to laugh at her warning and put it back on the shelf. But as I walked out of the shop, I looked back at the pink cutie and thought, "It has my name written all over it. Maybe... maybe..."

But my Uber had arrived and I hopped in because I needed to see my dentist. On the way, I suddenly decided, "Sure. Why not? Sure, it's Reason A but I'm earning more now than I ever did when I was an employee. And, sure, there's still Reason B but I'll take care of it because of Reason A!"

Then, as always, Reason D happened.

At the dentist, I learned that I needed to have my wisdom teeth extracted, a bridge made, and braces installed. Total cost: P111,000.

Perfect Tod's D Bag: P115,000

Perfect teeth: P111,000

You know what I picked, right? Yup. I've already scheduled the procedures. But the braces, I'll need to ask permission from my blog sponsors first because I have videos and photo shoots to do. They might not like the metal mouth. Not only am I practical, I am also considerate. Right? Right. Yey me!

And yet, at the dentist's chair, as I stared at the bright spotlight aimed at my mouth, I fought with this unreasonable sadness. When I was poor, I always had to pick what made sense—what product I can afford, what service is worth it, what will benefit more people (a.k.a. my family), which more often than not meant I had to do without. I didn't have a choice since I had very little money. Now that I'm a lot better off, I have choices but I'm still picking what makes sense. In many ways, this is why my husband and I live the way we do—no debt, comfortable life. We hardly ever lived beyond our means. We are always practical. We aren't miserly at all, okay? In fact, we have quite the cushy life! But the unnecessary things like designer bags and designer shoes are just deemed impractical, even illogical. We do have designer furniture but everyone benefits from furniture so those purchases made sense.

I always made sense.

People tell me, "Ganyan talaga pag nanay na." But I've always been like this. Ever since I was a little girl. And it's served me well so it's okay.

But earlier today, as that unreasonable sadness threatened to overwhelm me, I fought with the thought: "Why don't I ever just throw caution to the wind? Why must I always always be practical? Am I boring? Am I old? Have I always been boring and old?"

Thankfully, my sensibility overpowered that stupid voice inside my head as I penciled in my next dental appointment with the clinic's secretary. I made the better choice, I said. And I did.

I guess I'm just sad because I realized my poor upbringing still makes me think I'm poor. I take care of myself but I don't spoil myself because that's just, you know, frivolous. When my husband brings me to a nice restaurant, I always pick the cheapest item on the menu. I shop for my clothes on eBay. Almost all my clothes now are freebies from brands actually. I refuse to let my husband buy me gifts. I hold on to trash because what if I'll need a square of leftover gift wrapper? I smooth out aluminum foil so we can use them again. When I make sandwiches for my husband, I pack it with slices of cheese and ham or salami but when I make my sandwiches, I put just one slice. When I make Biscoff sandwiches for my kids, I slather the spread on thick, but my own Biscoff sandwiches, I just scratch on a thin layer. Why oh why do I do this?!

Of course, my dental procedures are just as costly as the Tod's D-Bow Bag so I'm not making the less expensive choice. I guess the sadness—the first time I've ever felt this way over a shopping choice!—surprised me because it made me wonder—for the first time ever—if I'm taking care of myself right. It made me realize that I think nothing of spending lots of money on my boys but when it comes to me, I think I don't deserve it. And that's sad. Sad that I think it. Sad that I don't allow others, from my husband to my friends, to spoil me. Sad that I—self-proclaimed feminist/pro-woman/girl power advocate—believe that I don't deserve to have nice things, after all.

Sadness, begone! My teeth need to be fixed! That's still caring for me! Right? Right. Silliness over. A perfect smile is waaaaaay better than a pink bag. Right? Right.

The better choice isn't always the easiest choice, I said, but it is still the better choice. I'll just keep telling myself that!

P.S. Can someone buy me the Tod's Small D-Bow Bag in pink abroad??? It's just P81,000 abroad!

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But first, naloka ako sa "well-known beauty maven" sa invitation. As in hahahahaha! Thanks, Philosophy, for calling me that even though I'm not exactly Miss Universe! Far from it! But, because of my current skincare regimen, I have the best skin I've ever had in all my 38 years. So, let me share with you what Philosophy products are making my skin look amazing, then I'll give you a peek at my little skincare party, and then I'll invite you to the next Philosophy pretty party!

Philosophy products I love
I only started using Philosophy this summer. As many of my blog readers know, I had been using and loving Shiseido's Ibuki skincare line. Now, Ibuki is designed for people in their 20s but it had worked for me anyway. Unfortunately, at the start of this year, hindi na yata nakayanan ng Ibuki ang almost-40-year-old skin ko. So I began using a drugstore brand touted for its regenerating abilities. Unfortunately again for me, the only thing it regenerated on me are pimples!!!

Left with dark pimple spots all over my face, I was looking for something to slough off the dead and tired skin layer and a brightening moisturizer. I've been getting facials at the Aivee Clinic but because I wasn't following instructions (OxyGeneo facials should be done every 10 days and my schedule was always too full for me to follow that strictly), my skin would go back to being dull. I needed something I can do at home. This is the miraculous answer:

My skin is always super soft and smooth after using this. I use this once a week. I'll do a full review next month. Anyway, love love this but because I'm 38 na, I need to exfoliate more than once a week so I added this:
This is kinda sticky and it stings a little since it's a chemical peel. But it really adds a glow! I'll do another review of this, too, next month!

Then because I have dark acne spots and freckles (also known as sun damage!), I added a brightening line. Within two weeks, my spots started lightening up!

Because the spots situation is being managed, I started using this last week. It's the anti-aging line of Philosophy and I can see changes in my skin!
Reviews soon! Oh, I'm really planning to blog regularly now! Kahit once a week man lang, or photos man lang! I miss my readers!

Anyway, my dear Loyal Readers, why don't we have a fun afternoon together, finding out about skincare, getting pampered, and getting fab Philosophy products? Just like how my friends did one fine afternoon when I invited them to a small party at Philosophy Mega Fashion Hall! Here's what happened:

The fun Topaz Horizon x Philosophy workshop

I'm so excited to report that my blog talk at Powerbooks Greenbelt that was done upon the invitation of National Book Store and The Study by Enderun was a SUCCESS!

I was so nervous because it was a public space. But my husband, Vince, who was there, said despite a few foibles, I did well! Hooray!

At the registration table.

I got a celebrity to attend my talk! Boys Night Out Tony Bueno is seriously considering becoming a blogger.

If you missed my talk, Jennilyn of the wonderful book blog Rurouni Jenni Reads has a detailed recap. If you read her post, it's almost like you attended my talk!

Now I've been doing workshops recently. I've had two with Bobbi Brown, one with Philosophy, and then this blog talk for Powerbooks and The Study by Enderun. I'm a newbie in this workshop business but I'm quickly getting the hang of it. I've also learned a few things from my workshops:

1. Arrive early.
I'm usually early for my workshops because I anticipate problems. For example, for the blog talk, I had brought a Macbook and their projector can only work with a PC. Buti na lang Vince was there because he told me to save my Keynote presentation as a PowerPoint one and then save that in a USB stick, which thankfully saved the day. Thanks, Vince!

Being early also helps calm my nerves. And most importantly, it allows me to do the next lesson...

2. Mingle with the attendees.
When I'm early, I get to chat with the participants. We get comfy with each other, which really helps make the workshop successful because a friendly atmosphere is established. They will actively participate! Plus, chatting with everyone informally helps me understand what they want to learn, and this is a big deal when I'm finally talking in front of everybody.

I hate to confess that I arrived very late for one workshop and I really felt the difference. The participants were annoyed, I was rushed, and the workshop just didn't start off well. I'm never repeating this mistake!

3. Personalize the space.
While I don't yet have the budget to decorate the venue of my workshops, I've decided that I need to put something of me or my blogs in the space where I'm working. Scented candles will help, especially because one venue smelled bad! I liked it when National Book Store sent me beautiful orange Leuchtturm journals for my participants—orange is the color of Topaz Horizon and writing is my work. So me!

Or maybe print huge tarpaulins with my face on it hahaha

4. Bring water!
Oh yes. What a mistake that I keep forgetting to bring water to my workshops! When I'm talking non-stop, my mouth just dries up. And when my mouth dries up, so does my brain!

5. Put notes on note cards! 
And write in big letters! And use a big, black marker!!!

Now that I know all that, I'm pretty sure my future workshops will be much, much better!

Speaking of future workshops...

Want to know more about making blogging a business? Then you're in luck! I have another blog workshop called "The Next Level Blogger" coming up on Aug. 27, Thursday, from 10am to 1pm at The Podium, Ortigas Center.

To know more about my fantabulous blogging workshop, click here.

Slots are limited since I really want to interact with my participants. Register before Aug. 15 to get the early-bird rate of P1,500. After that date, it's P2,000 na.

Oh, and I know the curriculum says I'll be talking about building your blog and making it look pretty, but I'm focusing more on making your blog earn money. How to make a media kit, how to work with brands, how to pitch to brands—basically stuff that established bloggers want to know. That's why my workshop is called, "The Next Level Blogger," because we're leveling up!

I hope to see you at my blogging workshop at The Study at Podium Mall in Ortigas Center! Please share with your blogger friends!

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If you're a parent of young kids, you probably have seen the Minions movie by now. I mean, really, it's like the hottest thing in kidlandia these days. My kids, especially my second boy Iñigo, can actually speak Minionese.

How crazy is that!

Naturally, when Monde Mamon invited my family to watch a special screening at Greenbelt, we cleared our schedule and watched the Minions movie.

The movie was fun, more slapstick funny than smart funny the way the Despicable Me movies were. And we missed Gru. As a parent, I kinda worry about kiddie movies that glorify the bad guy: Wreck-It Ralph and Maleficent, for example, but they turned out to be heroes. Since Gru became a parent, he's really a good guy, which makes him a hero in my and my kids' eyes. With Minions, well, I won't spoil the ending, but because there was no real good guys here, there was no hero for my kids to look up to. I mean, sure, the Minions saved the day but they weren't heroes really. Still, the kids loved the movie, and they're too young to look for a moral (and, I'll be honest, I don't like movies with morals but that had to change when I gave birth to my own minions!) so watch Minions!
Anyway, we loved the Monde snack box we all got—a pretty white box with a chocolate chip muffin and two pieces of waffles. I wish I had gotten a picture but it was too dark in the theater by the time we opened our snack boxes. And we ate everything up immediately! Soooo good!

Then we brought home bags of Monde Mamon goodies and Minions lunch box and tumbler!

Their favorite part of the giveaways? Why, the Mamon-It-Yourself Minion kit, of course!

I'm giving a little talk on Sunday about my blogging journey and I hope you show up! Powerbooks and Enderun's The Study said all I need to do is talk about how I started blogging, how I got my following, and how I'm earning from blogging. That's the general outline, but they said I'm free to talk about anything I like as long as it's about blogging.

So this past weekend, I've been trying hard not to be nervous for Sunday haha. I'm deathly afraid, to be honest. I have horrific stage fright. I don't suffer from stage fright when I do presentations for other things, say the magazine I used to edit or a project for a company. I'm very good at presentations. But when I started blogging professionally, I found it so weird to sell myself. Does anyone feel the same way?

Anyway, so I was thinking about my talk on Sunday and I remembered that all my friends who wanted to blog asked if I recommend it. You know, they'll ask, "Do you think I should blog?" Which always struck me as a strange question. It's like, "Do you think I should get married? Do you think I should have kids?" I think if you need to ask people about it, then maybe you know within your heart that it isn't for you. Here are a few reasons why blogging may not be for you.

But before I discourage you, let me encourage you!

Blogging exposes you.
Putting yourself out there attracts attention. Most of the time, it's a good kind of attention because you attract people who are interested in the same things you write about. Many of my friends today I met because of my blogs. They liked my humor, they liked my stories, they liked how I lived my life. And when I visited their blogs, I found that we were sisters from another mother—that's how alike we are!

But then sometimes, especially if you talk about things you believe in, you attract negative people. They will tear you down, criticize your beliefs, spread bad things about you, and basically find you so disagreeable, they can't help themselves. They just want to hate. Now, I have nothing against criticism. I'm not perfect and I'm not an expert. Plus, sharing how I live my life will invite opposing opinions. That's how life is. But I don't believe in hate. We can disagree but I don't understand why I have to be hated just because I don't live the way others do.

This used to bother me (like I would cry about it, and I don't cry easily!) until I realized that my blogs have brought me more love and friendship than hate. In fact, putting myself out there is one of the best things I've ever done! I have so many friends now. I have so many gifts from complete strangers who love my family! I gained work opportunities. My life is so much better all because I put myself out there.

But if you're the kind of person who can't deal with negativity, criticism and opposition, then think again if you want to blog!

Blogging may get you in trouble with your loved ones. Or your work.
This is mostly an issue with bloggers who talk about their personal lives or share their opinions on politics, religion and anything deemed controversial. So food bloggers, fashion bloggers and beauty bloggers are safe (correct me if I'm wrong!).

What you say online may affect your family or your employer. Both have happened to me. I had a big falling out with a member of my family because of something nasty that I said carelessly (the relationship is now healed). I also periodically get scolded by older family members for talking about my parents or for scandalizing them when I talk about sex (why does sex with my husband scandalize people?). So I'm more careful now, less reactive, less stupid, less emotional, less sex. At least online!

I also got in big trouble at the publishing company I used to work for because I gave a bad review of a product and the brand happened to be a major advertiser. I argued that my personal lifestyle and opinions shouldn't affect my professional life but I learned the hard way that, yep, they do.

I understand now that every part of my life affects each other, so I can't just blurt out everything in my head and heart. I must measure every word and judge how it will affect others, especially my family. I used to not care about these things because I thought that if I believed in it enough, then I must say it. It's my truth, and blogging is a terrific channel for expressing my truth. But now I understand my truth must be tempered with compassion, and sometimes compassion says, "Don't say it."

So if you're willing to ruffle feathers, go ahead and blog! But if that doesn't appeal to you, then start a blog that will be just fun but not personal. Examples are recipes, DIY, arts and crafts, home management tips, toy collections, and the like. These can still be incredibly successful!

Blogging can be incredibly intrusive.
Well, that's because when you share your life so publicly, you invite people into your life, whether you meant to do so or not. People who read your blog feel that they know you now and that they are your friend. In many ways, they are. I have so many friends now that I met online!

But there have been instances when a stranger came up to my husband and teased him about something I blogged about and Vince was smiling and all but inside he was uneasy because I'm the blogger and he's the private person so he felt invaded. My kids have also gotten weirded out when people will shout, "Hi Vito!" and try to pinch him. Oh, and I remember when someone blocked my way with a grocery cart at the supermarket and the woman greeted me happily. I was glad that someone I don't know was so happy to see me but at the same time, I felt, "Woah, you frightened me!"

I'm no celebrity. So I don't go around assuming I have fans. Oh haha that sounds so wild! But I do get thrilled when people say hi and ask for a picture or comment kindly about the kids. It doesn't go to my head; it goes straight to my heart! Thank you! So while I gave up a bit of my privacy (I don't reveal everything, you know!), the trade off is I allow more people to love me and my family. It's a beautiful exchange.

But if your privacy matters to you intensely, then maybe blogging is not for you.


Now if these reasons don't deter you from starting a blog, then you can drop by my talk on Sunday and learn more about blogging! I promise you it will be fun. And it's free! There will be a Q&A after so you can ask me anything you want about blogging!

Okay, I think I'll do a good job on Sunday. My nerves relaxed when I wrote this post. Now all I'm worried about is... What will I wear?!?

See you there!


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