TOPAZ HORIZON

A lot of couples plan to have children after they get married. Although children are, of course, a blessing and a joy, I'm telling you now that they are also undeniably a huge responsibility. So while you don’t have kids, you should go out and fully explore where you live, or where you will both live when you're married! If you live in the province or the suburbs, take a trip to the nearest city for a couple of nights. Go out for dinner, take a bus tour, and hit the clubs to party all night, and make the most of being together.
Remember: You're not just planning a wedding, you're also preparing for a marriage. And that contract ends at "till death do us part." So use your engagement period to really get to know each other. Once the wedding preps really kick in and the moving into the new home happens and the integrating into each other's families start and especially when the kids arrive, it's hard to focus on each other. All that I mentioned are wonderful phases in your married life but they can distract you from what's truly important—your marriage. So use this precious time to really lay the foundations of your union. Congratulations and best wishes!

For Vito: Paper Bots because my little boy is sooo into paper these days. He's folding them into planes and making books. He will LOVE this book!

For Iñigo: Funky Things to Draw: Animals. My preschooler loves to draw. He's really good at it. He will enjoy all the easy tips to draw. And all the pencils and erasers he'll ever need! No more borrowing from me and his Kuya Vito! I can't wait for him to open this gift!

For Piero: My Learning Library Kit: First Words. This is a box of board books, word puzzles, and blocks. At just over 2 years old, Piero is the one who talked soonest (compared to his brothers). He loves stories and chatting and singing. He is going to enjoy this box of learning tools so much!


For my husband me: Color Chart by Itoya grid journal because I am a new convert to bullet journaling!!! I actually got into bujo (yes, that's what they call it) because of Vince. He wanted to try it out and I've long known about bujo but thought it was boring. Then I checked it out on Instagram (#bujo and #bulletjournal), and I was swept off my feet! I've been doing bujo since September and, yes, I have found planner peace at last!
I love Color Chart by Itoya because the pages are the smoothest pages in all the world. And it lies flat. Look at that! I'm still planning on giving this to my husband but he insists I should have it because I'm THAT in love with it.

For Vince: Color Chart by Itoya pencil case. I love how clever this is because it attaches to your notebook! I'm giving this to him as a partner to his Color Chart by Itoya journal and because green is his favorite color, but since he says I should have the journal, I don't know what to do. Oh, I know! Buy another set!


For my sister: Chameleon pens. This set will be perfect for my sister who loves to draw and do calligraphy. Chameleon pens are special alcohol-based markers because they gradually darken, so she can add gradients, highlights and shadings to her drawings and calligraphy projects automatically! Check this video out to see how it works. Amazing, right? She will love this!

For Papa: Caran d'Ache Supracolor Colour Pencils and Classic Water-Soluble Pastels. Caran d'Ache is the luxury brand when it comes to writing and art materials. I plan to give these to my Papa because he used to draw nudes and landscapes and portraits. Now, he's obsessed with Facebook (aren't we all?). I've come to think that Facebook is making us all stupid especially lately so I hope these luxury art pencils and pastels will make him draw again and make him spend his twilight years doing something beautiful again.

There you go! National Book Store is most definitely the gift destination of the season! Well, of every season since they offer lots of things everyone will love. Books, magazines, journals, pens, arts and crafts materials, stationery supplies, and little things for the home. Definitely more than a book store!

You can check out what other shoppers have found at National Book Store by following @nbsalert on Twitter and Instagram and checking out the hashtag #GiftsTheyllLoveAtNBS.

P.S. I'll tell you more about the shopping event that National Book Store held for the media next week. I have videos of influencers shopping at NBS and tell you more about the NBS Gift Generator, a special shopping app you'll find useful this Christmas!

I'm agonizing over my blog's new template. The fonts are all over the place. The size of the fonts of old blog posts are tiny and the size on new blog posts (starting with this one) is a larger size. I don't know if I have the energy to edit all 1,200 past posts!

Please be patient as I fix the bugs. Or if I don't haha. Maybe I should just start a new blog altogether! The inconsistencies in the posts from before the new design is driving me crazy!

So anyway. What do you think? Do you like Topaz Horizon's new look?

Bust out the popcorn, folks. National Geographic just rolled out the fight video to end all fight videos. Well, not really. But you gotta watch it and then read the comments anyway. That's what the popcorn's for!

Watch it HERE.

So here's a recap:

Mr Penguin came home from fishing one day to discover that his wife was with another penguin. Let's call him Pablo. That's him up there with Mrs Penguin.


Then, before they get to the point where they might actually kill each other and they're like, "Dude, we don't have to kill each other over a ho, right?," they both call for Mrs Penguin to choose between them.

And to everyone's shock, she picks Pablo. It gets worse, guys. Right in front of her husband, she takes Pablo's flipper and says, "Come home with me." Home being the house Mr Penguin built for her, where all the adultery had been happening! Grabe!

This drives Mr Penguin insane and he goes in for the kill. He chases the cheating pair, drags Pablo out of his house—yes, his own house!—and proceeds to peck his eyes out. Mrs Penguin watches as the two men in her life battle it out.

But Pablo—either he's too macho or well rested because his day had been spent in bed with Mrs Penguin while Mr Penguin had been out all day swimming and hunting in the ocean, ya know, being a good husband!—Pablo wins. Mr Penguin calls on his wife to stay true to the penguins-mate-for-life thingie but Mrs Penguin says, "Go away! I LOVE HIM!"

And Mr Penguin walks away, bloody, defeated and without a wife and home. The end.

So let's now get to the fun part. The comments! Here are my favorites:

Tragic.

Mr Penguin better get a DNA test.

So true! Don't forget the hashtag: #AnimalFightNight!


Let's look at that again:
Tragic!

May twist sa end. Uso yan ngayon sa movies.

Clever! I totally LOL'd because nerd.

Well, Heidi, you're in for a treat because Mrs Penguin just opened up on Twitter!

Well! Love in a hopeless place! What do you think??? Team Mr Penguin vs Team Mrs Penguin? I can't decide!

Because it's All Soul's Day, I am thinking of my mother.

I think she'd be really proud of who I've become - and I'm not talking about career here as I don't have a career anymore. I think she'd be surprised at that part, too. I'm rather surprised at myself actually. I think I'm a good wife despite growing up with parents who didn't have a happy marriage. I think I'm a good mother despite being raised by an unhappy mother.


One of my last conversations with Mama was about regrets. She said, "If I were to live my life all over again, I'd never have gotten married. I wouldn't have had all of you but maybe that would have been better. I'm sorry." She was very sad when she said that and that's why I didn't feel hurt at all. In fact, all I felt was sadness for her.

When I was a teenager and started going on dates, Mama told me she regretted marrying and having kids. So it wasn't like her confession above was a surprise. She loved us but she always said that if she were to live life all over again, knowing what she knew, she'd say no to marriage and kids. I feel sad for her but grateful that she never walked away. Now that I'm a mother myself and massively relieved I don't feel what she felt, I feel sadder for her still. As a modern society, we shouldn't impose marriage and motherhood on women. On anybody! Mama loved us sooo much but maybe she'd have been happier without us.

Mama was unhappy with many things, mostly with Papa, and that affected our everyday life. She loved him, there was no doubt about that, but she regretted that love because it didn't bring her happiness. It also gave her children who never... I don't know. It's not that we weren't enough. I think we were just too much.

As I gain more experience as a mother, I empathize more with Mama. I appreciate her sacrifices. I feel her shame whenever she had to borrow money or groceries. I feel her desperation, her sadness, her misery, her complete exhaustion and bewilderment. I feel her fear and her fury.

I'm a mother, too, and this duty is no fucking joke. I love my kids, okay, but every day is tough. I don't know if it gets better but right now, with three small children and I'm forever running around feeding them, washing butts, picking up toys, yelling for them to stop hurting each other, not having time to shower or poop even, not having time to read books (my great love once upon a time), not having any time for my great love who is my ever supportive but neglected husband... I mean, motherhood just sucks the life out of you!

I'm still learning how to be a good mother and sometimes I fail, sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I want to just curl up and sleep for 10 years. But I get up and do this mothering anyway because, to be honest, despite all my whining, I absolutely love being a mommy. I love it! I feel like I hit the jackpot of life really. And maybe that's why I complain a lot, to balance it somehow because I still can't believe how lucky I am. I have this irrational fear that the Universe will spot my joy one day and say, "Wait a minute. She's too blessed. That can't be right," and then strike me down, so I try not to be too smug so that maybe if I downplay my unbelievable luck - my husband and my children! - I''ll get to enjoy it forever.

I wish Mama had this joy, too. I really wish she had enjoyed it as much as I do. But you know what, I admire her completely now. I feel this enormous gratitude that despite her regrets, she always showed up anyway. She did the work, she gave her all, she never gave up. That's true love. And I love her for that.

Anyway! Something to think about if you're still single, ladies. And gentlemen, I guess. If you don't want marriage and parenthood, that's okay. It's amazing for many people (like me!) but it's not the be-all and end-all everyone insists that it is.

And then, for those of you who do feel trapped and yet you carry on serving your family and treating them with love and respect, thank you. Thank you for not walking away. May you find peace and joy in motherhood. God bless us all.

For further reading: I Don't Like Being a Mother. What do you feel about motherhood?