TOPAZ HORIZON

Because it's All Soul's Day, I am thinking of my mother.

I think she'd be really proud of who I've become - and I'm not talking about career here as I don't have a career anymore. I think she'd be surprised at that part, too. I'm rather surprised at myself actually. I think I'm a good wife despite growing up with parents who didn't have a happy marriage. I think I'm a good mother despite being raised by an unhappy mother.


One of my last conversations with Mama was about regrets. She said, "If I were to live my life all over again, I'd never have gotten married. I wouldn't have had all of you but maybe that would have been better. I'm sorry." She was very sad when she said that and that's why I didn't feel hurt at all. In fact, all I felt was sadness for her.

When I was a teenager and started going on dates, Mama told me she regretted marrying and having kids. So it wasn't like her confession above was a surprise. She loved us but she always said that if she were to live life all over again, knowing what she knew, she'd say no to marriage and kids. I feel sad for her but grateful that she never walked away. Now that I'm a mother myself and massively relieved I don't feel what she felt, I feel sadder for her still. As a modern society, we shouldn't impose marriage and motherhood on women. On anybody! Mama loved us sooo much but maybe she'd have been happier without us.

Mama was unhappy with many things, mostly with Papa, and that affected our everyday life. She loved him, there was no doubt about that, but she regretted that love because it didn't bring her happiness. It also gave her children who never... I don't know. It's not that we weren't enough. I think we were just too much.

As I gain more experience as a mother, I empathize more with Mama. I appreciate her sacrifices. I feel her shame whenever she had to borrow money or groceries. I feel her desperation, her sadness, her misery, her complete exhaustion and bewilderment. I feel her fear and her fury.

I'm a mother, too, and this duty is no fucking joke. I love my kids, okay, but every day is tough. I don't know if it gets better but right now, with three small children and I'm forever running around feeding them, washing butts, picking up toys, yelling for them to stop hurting each other, not having time to shower or poop even, not having time to read books (my great love once upon a time), not having any time for my great love who is my ever supportive but neglected husband... I mean, motherhood just sucks the life out of you!

I'm still learning how to be a good mother and sometimes I fail, sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I want to just curl up and sleep for 10 years. But I get up and do this mothering anyway because, to be honest, despite all my whining, I absolutely love being a mommy. I love it! I feel like I hit the jackpot of life really. And maybe that's why I complain a lot, to balance it somehow because I still can't believe how lucky I am. I have this irrational fear that the Universe will spot my joy one day and say, "Wait a minute. She's too blessed. That can't be right," and then strike me down, so I try not to be too smug so that maybe if I downplay my unbelievable luck - my husband and my children! - I''ll get to enjoy it forever.

I wish Mama had this joy, too. I really wish she had enjoyed it as much as I do. But you know what, I admire her completely now. I feel this enormous gratitude that despite her regrets, she always showed up anyway. She did the work, she gave her all, she never gave up. That's true love. And I love her for that.

Anyway! Something to think about if you're still single, ladies. And gentlemen, I guess. If you don't want marriage and parenthood, that's okay. It's amazing for many people (like me!) but it's not the be-all and end-all everyone insists that it is.

And then, for those of you who do feel trapped and yet you carry on serving your family and treating them with love and respect, thank you. Thank you for not walking away. May you find peace and joy in motherhood. God bless us all.

For further reading: I Don't Like Being a Mother. What do you feel about motherhood? 

When I started blogging 10 years ago, getting on anyone's radar was a dream. I only depended on someone stumbling on my blog posts to actually get some visits. That all changed when Facebook and Twitter exploded on the internet. Sharing posts means just a few extra clicks and reaching an audience is so easy now! I even told my students at my recent Blog Biz Blogging and Chika Workshop that it's absolutely impossible for anyone these days to say, "No one's reading my blog!"



As social media continues to advance and grow in popularity, bloggers have started using it to their advantage. It’s become a simple but effective way of driving traffic and strengthening a blog audience. From Pinterest to Instagram, there are countless social media sites you should be using to promote your blog. Using these sites not only engages potential readers, they make it easier to communicate with your loyal followers. But if you’ve only used social media for your personal life, you might be unsure how to use it to better your blog. So to help you feel less overwhelmed, use my three social media tips for bloggers.

Another benefit of doing this is that you are making your blog easier to find across multiple platforms. This is important as you start to establish yourself on both your blog and social media. Obviously, there may be instances where you are not able to use your exact blog name on social media sites. It might be taken by someone else or be too long, for example. That's why I haven't changed my Twitter handle to @topazhorizonblog because that's already 17 characters that will take up my tweets! In which case, you might have to experiment with alternatives that are as close to your blog name as possible.

#2 Promote other bloggers

While it’s important to promote your own blog content on social media, it can get repetitive for your followers. If you do this too regularly, it may even force people to unfollow you as a result. So mix it up by promoting the work of bloggers you admire. Focus on sharing the content of bloggers who create similar content to your own. This can add more variety to your feeds while still being relevant and interesting to your followers. 

A big possible plus is the blogger whose work you have shared may also reciprocate and promote your content. As you both create similar content, it’s likely their followers will be interested in reading your blog, too. This can give your audience a much-needed boost while also helping you forge positive online relationships. I can attest to this because most of my friendships today began with sharing of blog posts, comments on each other's blogs and Instagram pics, and then back-and-forth messages on Facebook. Et voila! I am now real-life friends with bloggers I used to just admire virtually!

#3 Make your icons prominent

If your followers aren’t able to find your social media icons on your blog, it makes it almost impossible for them to connect with you. So always make sure these icons are in a clear and prominent place on your blog. Popular positions are at the top and bottom of your blog homepage. Mine are at my sidebar. Just look to the right and then follow me!!!

You should also make it easy for your content to be shared by your followers on social media. This helps you earn more Facebook and Instagram followers while also increasing the number of visits to your blog. So make sure your blog content has a sharing capability that can be found and used easily. Mine are at the bottom of this blog post—please share!

And there you have it! My three little tips on how to use social media to build your blog audience. Social media and blogging go hand in hand. You just need to know how to combine the two effectively. So take what you have learned from this guide and start getting more clicks today.

If you want to learn more Blog Biz tips from me, sign up for my upcoming Blog Biz Blogging and Chika Workshop next month! I'm looking at November 17 or 18 (yes, a weekday!) at Bonifacio Global City. Follow my Facebook page for more details!

*image from Pixabay

Hi mommies! Just wanted to share my latest mommy find—Security Bank! I've been meaning to open savings accounts for my boys for a while now but something always comes up and going to the bank to wait for my turn and fill up lots of forms, not to mention the traffic I'll put up with, just didn't appeal to me. So when a mommy friend told me about the online and home services Security Bank has, I signed up immediately when I opened Junior One savings accounts for all my little boys.

Yes, you can open an account online (click here). Or if you're a diva like me, you can try out their new Human Switch Kit service. Hehehe, no I'm not a diva! I really just wanted to review this new service and asked Security Bank if that could be my specific topic! Why? The Human Switch Kit means I can make the bank go to me instead!

Let me give you a step-by-step guide:
1. Go to https://www.securitybank.com/.
2. Click on Accounts on the menu.
3. Look at the bottom right of the page and you'll see a little window there that says these:




4. Click on that window and you'll get directed to the Human Switch Kit window.
5. Leave your name, number and email address, and indicate the branch nearest you.

That's it! You'll get a call or an email within the day and you can schedule the visit. We met at my home. This is Xyla. She brought with her the bank forms, and I was so grateful I was able to fill them all up (they were a lot) in the comfort of my own home, in the comfort of my house clothes, with one eye on the form, the other eye on my super kulit kids!


That's it! Xyla can't accept money so I still needed to visit the branch and deposit the money myself. She said I had two weeks to a month to do so. Because I was so busy, my schedule freed up after three weeks! I went to the branch with Iñigo and after just a few minutes, all three bank accounts had money. Hooray!


We opened a Junior One Savings Account for each of my boys because at .50%, the interest is higher than other banks. To open a Junior One Savings Account, you'll need:
1. One (1) valid I.D. of the parent.
2. One (1) valid I.D. of the child. In our case, we used the passports of the boys.
3. Birth certificate of the child if they are 5 years old and below and if they don't have I.D.s yet.
4. Initial deposit of P100.

That's it! I really loved the ease and convenience Security Bank's Human Switch Kit for opening the kids' Junior One accounts. Thanks so much for this service! Moms, if you're too busy to open a savings account for your kids or for yourselves, do try the Human Switch Kit service. They can go to your office or your home. They can go any time of any day (well, a reasonable time and day!). I highly recommend it!

For more information, visit the Security Bank website.

One of my recent yummy discoveries in the candy world is Vita Cubes. Okay, this isn't new candy. My kids and I have been seeing the TV commercial for months and months, and they've been begging me to buy Vuta Cubes but I always say, "Nope," because I thought they were vitamins.

No, Vita Cubes isn't vitamins in candy form. They're candy... with vitamins. There's a difference! And I only recently discovered this because I was looking for candy for my boys for Halloween (the most exciting holiday of the year for lovers of sweets) and for the first time ever, actually read the label.

Read the label, moms.

I usually do. I read the label, compare volume vs price, check where the product was produced, stuff like that. But candy, well, we usually just grab the most colorful and most popular ones. So I'm glad I took the time to finally check out the label of Vita Cubes when my middle child (the one with the sweetest tooth and disposition) reminded his Papa to buy Vita Cubes. It's really just candy!

Pretty candy, too. Look at how happy they make me:
The red is strawberry, the orange is orange, the yellow is mango, the green is apple, and the purple is grape. Don't they make you happy just looking at them? Yes? Then you oughta try popping them in your mouth!

Here are the reasons why I, as a mommy, now prefer Vita Cubes for my children:

1. Vita Cubes are candy—not vitamins. 
I don't like vitamins in candy form because the dosage indicates you can only give one a day. Two max. And anyone who ever gave candy to kids knows that you can't give just one piece of candy to kids! They will ask for more and of course, because you have to follow the dosage, you can't give in to their requests, and so for me vitamins disguised as candy is a bad idea.

2. Vita Cubes are better than other candy. 
What makes Vita Cubes better than other candy is it's fortified with vitamins. Okay, let me walk you through the reason why it's not a supplement—the vitamins in Vita Cubes are all water-soluble. That means you can never overdose on them. Each colorful cube is packed with Vitamins A, B complex, C and E, plus Lysine and Zinc. These are good stuff for growth, immunity, and healthy body. But let me reiterate—Vita Cubes are not vitamin supplements!

3. Vita Cubes are better for teeth than other kinds of sweets. 
Kids and candy go together like peanut butter and jelly. So I'm not that strict when it comes to sweets. I give them to my kids in moderation, I don't make a big deal out of it (I don't use it as a prize nor do I ban them), and I make sure the kids rinse their mouths after eating sweets, and of course brush their teeth every day.

It helps that our kids' dentist says that candy like Vita Cubes are better than sweet treats like cake or cookies—these get stuck in between teeth. Vita Cubes basically melt away in the mouth so, after a drink of water or a mouth rinsing, your teeth are good!

4. Vita Cubes taste great!
They do! They're jelly candy that's soft yet firm. I prefer them chilled so that they're firmer. I also find that chilled Vita Cubes taste better—the juicy flavors of strawberry, mango, orange, grape, and apple are magnified. So yum! My kids' favorites are strawberry, apple and orange. I like grape and mango. I love the mango actually—it's like a juicy dried mango. You gotta try it to know what I mean!

Last Saturday, I had such a fun time sharing with other moms why I love Vita Cubes. Hi, mga mommies!!! It is always a lovely occasion when I meet other moms especially when they are Loyal Readers!

With Neri Ann of Nheng's Wonderland.

With Nedy Clazo of Nedy.

With RJ Dancel of The Millennial Panda.

At the Vita Cubes 2 Good Fun Day, mommies, daddies and kids were treated to fun games, lots of activities, play time, good food, and of course tons of Vita Cubes! Thanks so much, Vita Cubes, for inviting us to a day of good fun. I had a good time meeting moms and their babies, plus chatting with many other mommies. An afternoon well spent talaga!

Anyway, if you haven't tried Vita Cubes, please do! Especially since Halloween is right around the corner and wouldn't it be nice to celebrate the candy holiday with the better candy? It's so affordable at just P12 a pack. You can find it everywhere, too—Robinsons Supermarket, SM Supermarket, Waltermart, Landmark, Pure Gold. Even in Mercury Drug and Mini Stop! You can also check your nearest sari-sari store because there are P1 individual packs. Bili na for Halloween!

I've been called supermom by a lot of people and I always ask, "Why do you say that? You don't live in my house!" I laugh. The person I'm talking to laughs and I sometimes get these answers:

"You cook!"
"You have no yaya!"
"You work and you're hands on!"
"You don't look like a mom!"

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you can't look like a mom. Whatever that means.

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you have to have a career AND be the sole caregiver of your kids.

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, fire your yaya right now. Pati yung katulong at driver!

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you have to do all the cooking yourself.

I'm not ungrateful for having my efforts as a mother praised. Thank you. But you don't see my struggles, my laziness, my impatience, my temper, my self-pity. You don't see me when I'm crying because I got caught up in work and lost track of the time and suddenly it's lunch time and I'm running around the kitchen feeling like an absolute failure. You don't see me when I'm yelling at the kids because they just won't stop fighting and hurting each other. You don't see me in my ratty shorts and shirts with breastmilk stains and wondering when I can take a shower.

But who wants to see that? Even I don't want to see myself that way. It's just not... super. It's all sorts of sad and frustrating and exhausting.

This photo is from a previous oh-so adowable post!

And yet today, I will agree that I am a supermom. Today, I woke up after just a few hours of interrupted sleep to make breakfast for my kids. I did two loads of laundry (whites and uniforms first, colored clothes next). I washed the dishes and cooked lunch. I breastfed the baby and put him down for a nap. I set the table, ate lunch with my family, then helped Vito with his homework. Then after a little rest, I slapped on foundation and kilay, threw on an old shirt and comfy mommy jeans so that my family can troop to the mall and have a snack. Oh, and get food for a school picnic and buy a steamer, too, because I absolutely hate ironing.

It's Sunday. God calls it rest day. But no mother rests on a Sunday. Every supermom I know gets up every single day and gets through the day. Whether she has a job or not. Whether she has household help or not. Whether she's married or single. We take care of everything. We're supermoms. Every mom who works hard to make her family happy and healthy—though there will be times she will fail!—is a supermom.

And if you're a mom and you don't think you're super just because you don't look the part, or because you don't cook, or because you have a career, or because you need a village to help raise your kids, think again. Your love for your babies is your superpower.

Now isn't that super?