Thursday, April 13, 2017

Questions to ask yourself before you get married

This time ten years ago, I was sick with the flu. Or maybe my wedding jitters were just manifesting as the flu! Anyway, even though I was unwell and stressed out with the wedding countdown (but my friends made me feel better with a surprise bridal shower!), I knew there was one thing I had no doubt about: marrying Vince! I loved that man like nothing else in the world and when we decided to get married, I felt a peace that I had never felt before.

Over the years, my blog readers have emailed me asking about my wedding suppliers, for a copy of my misalette, and many other questions. The one I love and dread the most is "How did you know you were ready to get married?" I love it because I have never been so sure of anything in my life! I dread it because when people ask, that already means they're not ready to get married yet and I don't know to tell them that! 

How did I know I was ready to get married? There were many factors that decided it for me (detailed below), other than the fact that I loved Vince. Honestly, love isn't a good enough reason to walk down that aisle. If love was the only reason for marriage, then what do you do if the love fades or even goes away? It sometimes does, you know, when the drudgery of work suffocates you both and the children overwhelm a marriage. What happens when you fall for someone else? Or when you're far apart and can't love each other with affection and service? Marriage isn't about feelings. It's about commitment, family, duty. Love makes those easier, but if you can't commit, if you don't want to be part of a family, and if you have no honor to fulfill your duties, then you shouldn't get married.  

If he's someone you really, really like, that really, really helps!

Now let's say you're already engaged. Should you busy yourself with the wedding? Of course, but don't get distracted from your upcoming lifetime commitment. This is the time you should be seriously evaluating yourself, your fiancé, and your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find that their engagement period is one of the hardest times together. Not only do you have a wedding to plan but you’re also contemplating the reality of a future with your partner. Plus, this is usually when you're spending lots of money and time with each other's family. The stress of it can be overwhelming. As long as the stress is all coming from the outside and not from each other, you should be fine! 

Anyway, I wanted to share with you the questions that played on my mind when I got engaged and maybe, if you're also wishing to get married, you should ask yourself these things before your wedding happens!

Are Your Finances Secure?
Let’s face it—love won't keep you alive. No matter how romantic that song goes, you can't survive on sex, hugs and kisses. You got to eat, you need a roof over your head, you got to pay the bills. You don't have to be rich, but you and your fiancé shouldn't be irresponsible either. Can you live on your own? Can you support a family? If kids aren't in the plans, can you support your dreams? 

Money affects a marriage profoundly. When you feel insecure or even afraid because the bills are piling up, creditors are knocking on your door, your kids aren't eating enough, or you can't afford the doctor or proper treatment when the kids are sick, your marriage will crumble. Marriages aren't built on money, sure, but they are built on a strong foundation of duty. Part of that duty is to provide for each other. 

During your engagement, you can already gauge your fiancé's financial readiness. Do you know each other's money situation like income, debts, and assets? Can you discuss the wedding budget comfortably or is talking about money a big no-no? Are you getting into debt just to have the wedding of your dreams? Is he shooting down your wishes because he doesn't want to spend money at all? If there are money issues now, you can be sure you'll always be fighting about these when you're married so address them now before it's too late!

What Do You Want For Your Wedding?
Speaking of the wedding of your dreams, make sure it's the wedding you BOTH want. Have you ever gone to a wedding where you know it's a bridezilla up there at the altar or it was a domineering groom who's running the show? You can see just one person's personality! It doesn't bode well for a successful marriage because marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. 

It’s important that your wedding day itself represents what both of you want. You may be the bride but remember you're sharing that "stage" with your man! Always consider what he wants, too. Think about your husband-to-be carefully—the way in which he proposed may signify what he wants the wedding to be like. For example, if he asked your father for your hand, then he may be a traditionalist. 

My husband didn't ask my parents' permission to marry me because he knows I'm a feminist and I would be offended by any act robbing me of my agency. Yet even though he knew I didn't want an engagement ring, he still gave me one and an extremely traditional one, too—a diamond solitaire! This made me reflect on why we give diamond rings (because diamonds mean tradition and they signify forever) and I realized that my husband may respect my very modern attitudes but he remains old-fashioned in some areas. So I made sure that our wedding had a modern vibe but kept everything else—white dress, my parents walking me down the aisle, our vows—strictly traditional. 

My wedding was all about compromise. It made me understand that it isn't about me anymore. Marriage is going to be about yielding, understanding, compromising, and working together. My wedding made me realize that I'm okay with that.
Vince said he always imagined me with flowers in my hair so I gave him that, too.

Do You Communicate Well?
The stress of wedding planning can be terrible, so if you start to bicker about small and unimportant things, don’t worry too much. It’s only natural to get snappy in times of stress! Just take a deep breath and take a step back to stop the arguments from escalating any further. 

However, if you feel that your conversations aren’t productive and that you're arguing too much, then that's a big red flag. Filipinos are lucky because we're close to our family and friends and we can bring up our worries to them and they can hopefully give good advice. But I find that family and friends tend to take our side (because they love us very much!) and aren't very forgiving of anyone who causes us pain—that includes your fiancé! So maybe you and your fiancé should consider going to a relationship counselor and talking about your issues before you get married. Make sure you iron out any glitches in your relationship before you make that big commitment.

Do You Want The Same Things?
Finally, one of the most important questions to ask during your engagement is if you and your fiancé want the same things. Of course, no one is the exact same as each other. If you're planning your honeymoon and one of you is desperate to visit France and the other’s craving pizza and pasta in Italy then you can compromise. But if you disagree on fundamental issues then you might start to realize that there are cracks in your relationship. 

There’s no point in marrying someone in the hopes that they might change, particularly on subjects like wanting children, keeping your career, supporting his dreams, religious and political beliefs. Some things are so integral to who we are that to spend our lives with someone who doesn't agree with those integral parts of ourselves is asking for a lot of pain and suffering. 

Wanting the same things, sharing the same values, and heading in the same direction are key to the success of a relationship. While my husband and I shared many beliefs and priorities, we also had a lot of differences. He knew I liked being a career woman (his parents were the traditional husband-provider and housewife) and I knew he wanted kids (I was leery of them). Before we got married, we had a talk where he assured me he'll always support my desire to work and I assured him that with him as my partner in parenting, I'm not so afraid of motherhood anymore (I still freaked out when I found out I was pregnant more than two years later haha). 

So if you have a boyfriend now or just got engaged, ask yourself these questions. If you like the answers, then congratulations! I'm so excited for you! If you don't like your answers, then see if you and your man can work out your issues. Good luck!

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Friday, April 07, 2017

Mom & Blogger: Finding The Balance To Maximize Both Roles

Hi, dear Loyal Readers! I know I've been missing from this blog for a few weeks now (I blogged just twice last month!). I'm busy with my job as consulting editor for beauty website, Calyxta.com, and also with my new column about work-at-home moms at parenting website, Juana.com.ph. Between these two new projects, home management, mothering and blogging, I didn't realize that I'll have such a hard time juggling! Life was much easier when I was just a mom blogger!

I'm not complaining, though. It feels good to be writing regularly for a publication again (and about parenting, too!). I'm also grateful for Calyxta because I got to experience corporate life again without the full time commitment. I still work from home and only check in at the office three times a week. It's helped me and my family adjust our expectations for when I go back to the corporate world. The Calyxta project ends this April so I can blog regularly again in May! I'm so excited. I miss blogging so much!


If you're a mom who wants to stay home with your kids and yet earn money, too, do try blogging. I know the web seems overpopulated with mom bloggers but believe me when I say that all mom voices are welcome here. We all need a community and it's so nice to find similar voices and feel comfort knowing you're not alone with your parenting struggles. If you don't want to be a mom blogger, that's great, too. You can write about your hobbies and interests instead. If you can earn from your blog, that's even better!

Blogging for business is an attractive career choice for any mother. Not only does it present the potential to earn good money from doing something you love, but it also offers versatility and control. Ultimately, that means you can build a work schedule on your terms, enabling more quality time with the children.

Juggling the two roles of mother and blogger isn’t an easy task, though. Frankly, failing to manage your time in an effective manner will cause major damage to both. As I've proven myself recently, I failed to juggle. Thankfully, it was my blogging that suffered—not my kids! This made me think of how I can keep things under control. Here are a few tips I found:

1. Build an organized workspace. 
The toughest challenge facing any home-based entrepreneur is finding a way to use the property as both a home and a workplace. Building a quality home office should be top of the agenda. It will help separate the two elements of your life and is also a clear indication for your family too. If you’re in the office, you’re at work. My friend, personal branding coach Martine de Luna, says in my Juana article, 5 Tips to Battle the Cons of Working from Home, "When I have to work at home, I separate myself from the kids and go to my workspace on the second floor. When they see me at the desk, they know it’s [do not disturb] time."

Speaking of workspace, my husband moved my desk to our bedroom so I can close the door when I work. But as a mommy of little kids, I haven't been able to do this yet haha. Another challenge I have is organizing my paperwork. Running a business from one small room can feel daunting, so going paperless is key. Fortunately, being a digital operation gives you a great starting point. Meanwhile, an online p.o box address can save you from facing huge amounts of paperwork. Either way, finding the right balance in this arena can only work wonders for your aspirations. 

2. Know your blogging goals. 
While I started blogging more than a decade ago as just a hobby, I've turned blogging into a business because of my work with many brands. Of course, since it became a business, I've had to be more serious about blogging. I had to set goals beyond just sharing my stories.

Many people scoff at it but blogging is a serious job. It requires a lot of time, hard work and money. Without a sense of direction, though, you’ll find that you'll falter on the job. Unfortunately, the productivity and outcomes will be far worse, too. So as a businesswoman, know why you're blogging, who you're blogging for, and what do you want to achieve through your blog.  

Planning ahead to ensure your blogging platform grows in the right way is essential. You can schedule posts regularly, make sure you share your posts on every relevant social media account, engage your readers on your Facebook page, use the right hashtags. This will help grow your blog and your influence, which will get the interest of sponsors. 


3. Consider letting your family play a role. 
Because mommy blogging is so lucrative these days, mom bloggers usually get accused of exploiting their children. Mining their kids' lives for entertainment, they say. As any proud mommy will tell you, sharing our kids' adorable photos and telling stories about how wonderful family life is is not about entertainment. We genuinely LOVE our kids and we're so proud of our happiness! We want to share away—whether we get paid or not! 

Readers also love having that insider's peek into the blogger’s life—and nothing is more authentic than a mommy's stories on her parenting adventures. Motherhood is just so huge, demanding, surprising and profound that it's impossible to fake. Plus, everyone loves kiddies. As many readers have oh-so-honestly told me, they don't read my blog because of me; they read it because they love my kids! And it's always so amazing when a parent feels the love of people for her kids. Mommy blogging is the best!

Now, as the kids get bigger, I do believe they need more privacy. But they can still be involved in your blog. Technology plays a huge role in modern society, and today’s youth probably know more about the internet than most adults. Once yours are at the right age, it could be worth giving them a little job within the work. Whether it’s writing, building SEO, or managing your blog's Instagram or Pinterest accounts doesn’t matter. It’s a great way to bond together while they develop skills they'll need for this social media-obsessed world. 

4. Invest in ideas that benefit both worlds. 
If your blog is about parenting, then virtually every day doubles up as content for the blog. But as you may know by now if you've been following my blogging adventures, there will come a time when you'll want to give your kids privacy. So what will you blog about then? I've chosen to blog about being a working mama. It's still about my insights on motherhood but my kids aren't as exposed. 

Many mom bloggers have transitioned successfully from baby stories to niche interests but still within motherhood. A music blogger might review the instrument that they’ve just bought their child. A food blogger may discuss family recipes. I love how my friend, Denise Rayala of Royal Domesticity, found even greater blogging success when she started her #Baonserye, where she showed the packed lunches she made for her daughter. It's brilliant really—she moved the focus away from her daughter but her mother's love is still so evident through the lovingly made lunches, plus she offers priceless tips and ideas for other moms! Squeezing great content out of your everyday life will reduce your research time and just be more fun to do. 

As a blogger, you should have a creative mindset. Use it to find ways of merging blogging and mom duties, and you’ll save loads of time and effort. Good luck, mommies!


*photos by Mark Yao for Biogenic

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Friday, March 31, 2017

This is how God provides for me

This post is brought to you by Ariel laundry detergent.

Today, on the last day of International Women's Month, Ariel honored 100 Fearless Filipinas by publishing this ad on national broadsheet, Philippine Star.


A hundred women — rich and poor, career women and homemakers, young and old — all doing their best to make the world a better place, especially now that the world seems to have become a darker place. I'm one of the 100 Fearless Filipinas and I am truly honored (second row, fourth from left). I'm also a lot surprised and when I expressed it, they told me they thought I had to be on the list because of how I've bravely chosen to work from home and for all the honesty this blog is known for.

Well, freelance work is not easy. In the five years my husband and I have been doing this, delayed checks and no projects can be stressful. I try not to worry. Believe me when I say I don't spend my days nibbling on my nails in fear. I really don't! But on those days when the bank account is nearing zero, I do cry out to God in alarm. When you're a parent, your biggest fear is not being able to protect and provide for your children. But I refuse to parent out of fear.

I grew up in a home with no money. There was always so much anxiety. There was dread when the phone rang or when the mailman delivered the bills. There was shame when we visited relatives and they all looked down on us. There was the humiliation of being the only house on the street with the electricity cut off. There was always that nagging worry. Worry, worry, worry.

That's part of the reason I didn't want to become a mother. I couldn't fathom raising children in that bubble of fear. So I worked so hard, forsaking almost everything so I wouldn't be poor. I guess I finally came around the idea of motherhood when I started earning well — when I was 32. With our combined income, my husband and I had more money than we needed and we spent it shopping for our new home. We had no debts. We had fat savings. It was time to have kids!

We had Vito and then we had Iñigo. And then we lost our jobs.

You can't imagine the intense fear I had in 2012, dear Loyal Readers. I was losing my job as a magazine editor but I was being offered a great position within the company. Nothing had to change! Yet a huge part of me longed to be a stay-at-home mommy. Imagine that! I was so happy being a mama, I had to choose between job security and mommy heaven.

I guess you all know which one I chose.

Just before I had to give the company my decision, I remember spending one weekend in agony. My childhood was haunting me. I remember an interview I did with Ryan Agoncillo and Judy Ann Santos, and Ryan revealed that his wife's greatest fear was to become poor again. Surprised, I said, "But — forgive me for this remark — you have so much money. You're both so successful. How can this even be in the realm of her imagination?" And he replied, "You know how her dad left them and they suddenly had nothing? She never wants to go through that again." And that was me in 2012. Gripped in paralyzing fear. I never want to be poor again!

I confessed this fear to my prayer group. Remember my Praying Wives group? Amazing women! Earl Paolo, our ringleader, told me that it isn't me or Vince who is the provider of our family. It's God who provides, and He just uses me and Vince as the conduit of blessings for our little boys. According to our faith, He will give. Of course we must work, too, but there will be days when we can't work — we're sick, for example — but the blessings won't ever dry up as long as I just believe God will provide.

There were many verses on God's provision that Earl gave me but the one that helped me most wasn't about God's faithfulness but about the lack of my belief.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, 
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 
Then you will be able to test and approve 
what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

 That verse! That is the verse that changed my life! Even now as I typed it, I was moved to tears.

Do not conform to how this world thinks! Change how you see the world and the world will change for you! I don't have to work myself to death. I don't have to repeat the life my parents led. I don't have to be afraid. Believe in God — test Him! — and He will do wonders.

Well, did I become a multimillionaire? Did I jet off to various locations? Did I have a wardrobe to die for? No. But here's how it worked:

1) My blogs (back then I had two blogs) suddenly took off! Both on number of visits and amount of sponsorships. Like, from 30,000 views a month to almost 60,000. I have no idea how that happened. I give workshops on how to build and grow blogs but what happened to mine was so organic and so weird that I just chalk it up to divine intervention.

2) My blogs earned me more that I ever did as a magazine editor. Huge surprise! The income allowed my husband and I to stay home, raise Vito and Iñigo, and make Piero! We are both hands-on parents. Literally just at home with our kids every single day. We have a good life. We have good food. We buy lots of toys and books. We have the A/C on every day! I can't complain!

3) When the clients aren't paying, that can be terribly frustrating. In theory, I have all this money but in reality, my bank account is almost empty. That just doesn't make sense! It doesn't happen all the time, okay. We're fine most of the time but there really have been days when I'm staring at the bills and telling God, "I know You have provided because I have so many projects but please help me!" And then suddenly a check or two is available — sometimes just enough to pay for that month's bills, sometimes a lot more. It's exciting, this life! You can see it as stressful or you can see it as exciting. Renew your mind!

4) And then God uses other people to provide for my family. Sometimes, the blessing is so specific to what I need that it just can't be coincidence. Here are a couple of examples:
This is not a sponsored post but I just want to tell a story of how God blesses me with just what I need. I had to do a sponsored IG post for Lady's Choice where I share a photo of my macaroni salad. I've been sick for more than a week and couldn't go to the grocery to buy pineapple chunks for the recipe. And I was feeling down, thinking I won't be able to do the post, and so I prayed for... I really don't know what I prayed for because I was blabbing to God about how bad I feel and how I need to get better and maybe I can ask client for an extension or if I can just get enough strength to run to the supermarket and get pineapple chunks. Well, God didn't make me better or strong enough to go to the grocery. He sent me the pineapple chunks! He probably decided I should stay home and rest instead of running around like crazy like I always do. Thanks, @jollyeatsph, for letting God use you to bless me. Thank you, God, for everything, as always! You are my provider and I am grateful You have never failed me and my family, always giving us what we need and sometimes even more. Thank you! #momlife #faith #MakeItJolly #blessed
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So all I want to say, dear Loyal Readers, is I live in hope and faith. Despite how I grew up, despite all the fears I had, despite all that I do, my life is lived in hope for all things wonderful and that's why it is wonderful! Sure, my husband and I deserve credit because we always try to make good decisions. But sometimes even good decisions don't have the expected results, sometimes no matter how you work hard the money doesn't come, sometimes no matter what savings you built the economy crashes because of outside forces (sigh!). But it's okay. God is sovereign over all!

It's okay. Don't worry. Give it up to God. Pick yourself up. Carry on always. Don't stop moving. Always believe. That's the secret to my fearless life. A renewed mind. A hopeful heart. A faithful God. May you have these, too! God bless you!

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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Probiotics benefits for pregnant women

This post is brought to you by FrisoMum.

I'm studying probiotics recently. First, because I'm reading up on FrisoMum, the sponsor of this post. Two, because my kids' pedia prescribed probiotic supplements for them, so that they can absorb more nutrients (my kids are skinny like their parents). Third, because there's a lot of articles on probiotics that are popping up on my Facebook feed. And last, because I was deleting photos on my phone (the endless quest to make more space!) and I saw lots of pics of pregnant me! And yes, I took probiotic capsules when I was preggers and also whenever I have tummy trouble.

Pregnant in 2014! Last time na yan!!! More pics here =)

We all know (if you drank Yakult as a kid) that probiotics promote healthy digestion. That also means they're used to treat disorders like bloating, irritable bowel syndrome, and diarrhea. I guess that also means if you like eating street food, you should toughen up your tummy with probiotics haha

Anyway, the articles I'm reading say that healthy gut bacteria also help in a whole lot of other ways. Let me count these other ways:

1. Keeps skin clear,

2. Keeps the vagina and urinary tract healthy,

3. Prevents bad breath,

4. Regulates immune function,

5. Reduces inflammation,

6. Kills off bad bacteria so you won't rely on antibiotics,

7. May have a hand at preventing autism.

Woah. If you're a woman, that's a lot of reasons to include probiotics in your diet, right? If you're pregnant or planning to be pregnant, that part about autism is a huge reason to take probiotics stat! Plus, when delivered vaginally, our baby's first exposure to bacteria is in our birth canal. We better make sure the bacteria there is the good kind!

You can get probiotics from food like yogurt, miso, kefir, kimchi, cheese... Actually, a lot of fermented stuff really (but I dunno if that includes wine and beer haha). All over the world and throughout history, every culture ate fermented food. That's because there were so refrigerators back then. Because of that, they had to preserve food, and fermentation is one of the processes they used. Now fermentation creates trillions of these good bacteria that we now apparently need for our bodies to be healthy! Anyway, I'm not a fan of fermented anything so it's been hard for me to include probiotic-rich food but I'm trying!

If a daily diet of fermented food is not to your liking, then you can ask your OBG about taking supplements. I did and she told me that probiotic supplements are like the greatest thing ever. Not her words, okay, more like her attitude about it! If you're preggy now and reading this, ask your OBG about probiotics.

FrisoMum is a pro-digestion milk for moms that cares for the tummy. It's packed full of prebiotics and probiotics on top of the vitamins and minerals you need. You get better digestion, better nutrition, and better times spent together with your family because you're healthy!

FrisoMum is available at selected Mercury Drug stores in Manila, Luzon, and Cebu. Always ask your OBG about taking prenatal supplements. Like their Facebook page for more nutrition tips for your pregnancy.
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Monday, February 27, 2017

First look: The Honest Company's spring 2017 diapers! Plus, Jessica Alba's tips for working mamas

When a brand founded by a Hollywood mommy asks you to do something for them, you do it. Well, I would because I used to cover Hollywood celebrities in my former life! I am so starstruck that Jessica Alba's The Honest Company gave me the chance to share with my readers the first look at their Honest Diapers spring 2017 designs! Here's your exclusive first look:


So cute! I still have one kid in diapers (although we're gearing up for toilet training this summer!) so I am very much smitten with these designs! I especially like the bugs!

Just like their founder, Honest Diapers don't just look good on the outside, they're also made of good stuff in the inside. They have an ultra-soft plant-based (PLA) inner and outer layer with a bio-based wheat/corn blend in its super-absorbent core. They don't go through chlorine processing and there are no chemical bleaches in them either. No latex, lotions, phthalates, optical brighteners, organotins (MBT, DBT, TBT), or most common allergens. No fragrances, too, just naturally derived odor blockers from citrus and chlorophyll.  

Jessica Alba is included in Forbes magazine's list of America's richest self-made women.

I'm in awe of what Jessica Alba has done with The Honest Company. Really! From being a major Hollywood star to now one of the richest self-made women in the US of A—that's some feat! And what I admire most about her is she created her brand because she wanted the best for kids and moms everywhere. I may not be able to relate to her glamour and the wealth, but I definitely can relate to her being a mommy who works so hard to give her family the best, given what I know and what my resources can afford.

When Jessica isn't busy growing her billion-dollar company, she is actively involved with charities such as Safer Chemicals Healthy Families, ONE, Habitat for Humanity, Project HOME and more. But, like all good mommies, the one job she enjoys above all others is being a mom. Yes, she's now my working mama peg! (I have a lot actually. Will blog about this soon!)

Jessica is also an author. Wow!

I asked The Honest Company if their founder has advice for us working mommies, and here's what Jessica said: "Don’t get overwhelmed trying to do everything at once. Lay out what you can get done now and what will take longer.” 

I learned this the hard way. As a working mama with no household help or nannies, I spent the first few years of my motherhood completely overwhelmed. I was trying so hard to be the best mommy ever to my baby boys that I got depressed when I would (of course) fail. It was when I became more organized (thanks, bullet journaling!) and less hovering (thanks, Netflix!) that I started to relax and just take mothering one day at a time. And I believe my family is all the better for it! I now truly enjoy being a work-at-home mommy.


I'm sure Jessica is waaaaaay busier than I am but she's learned to feel happy and proud to be a working mama. We don't need to be with our kids 24/7 to be a good mother. In fact, Jessica says we should let go of mommy guilt. "Don’t be hard on yourself," she says. "Doing your best to be present wherever you are is what’s important."

Finally, Jessica emphasizes the need for all mommies to take care of themselves. "Make time to eat healthy and stay active," the famously fit star advises. "It’s worth it to recharge once a week: Get sleep, have a date night or a girls’ night in, and drink some wine!" Oh, I wish I could follow her advice more often! I do believe that we moms pour so much time, energy and resources in giving the very best to our kids but if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't give the best mommy to our babies! Again, I learned this the hard way. I was so tired and ugly and unhealthy that I wasn't 100% happy being a mom. I was too spent to give anything! So this 2017, I've really resolved to visit the salon once a month, nap more, read again, spend more time with my husband, and see my friends. 

Thanks, Jessica, for sharing your work-life balance tips with my working mama readers! Thanks, The Honest Company, for sharing your new spring diaper designs with my style-savvy new mommies!


To shop the Spring 2017 diaper collection of The Honest Company, click here. I suggest using a courier service like Johnny Air to have your purchases shipped safely here in the Philippines. Locally, The Green Company (with branches in San Juan, Pasig, and Banawe, QC) carries The Honest Company products. A few products are also available at Landers Superstore. 

Hmm. Maybe I should collaborate more with The Honest Company. It's so aligned with my blog—everyone knows me as the most honest mommy blogger! Even their office looks like my house! Lemme pray about this!

*photos and quotes courtesy of The Honest Company; Jessica Alba's photo from Forbes.com

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Sunday, February 19, 2017

A peek at Tod's Women's SS 2017 collection

I've always loved the classic lines of Tod's bags so I just had to check out the new Spring-Summer 2017 collection!

This is the Sella. The leather is firm but soft. I can't explain it! But I love it. I love the contrast stitching details, too. Must have this!

This is the Tod's Twist. Sleek modern lines but made more fun with the tassel and cube accessories. It's a lovely handbag that you pull apart so you can see everything in your bag. See those silver buttons at the sides? That's the hinge. I love that the bag opens up like a glorious box. Another must have!

This Wave bag and its baby companion are so neon orange, it's crazy! I love that vivid orange! Totally a signature piece.

Since Tod's bags have very simple designs, if you want something more fun, the luxury Italian brand has a collection of bag charms for you.

Here's a better look at the collection:

Tod's Bauletto:

Tod's Bauletto handbag:

Tod's Double T bag:

Double T Petite bags:

 Tod's Wave bag:



 Tod's Micro Bauletto:



And then here am I with my Tod's D Bag. YES! I finally have one! After all these years, I found it at an online store in Japan! The size and color and exact model I want!

Funny how I obsessed over this designer bag when I was single and childless but now that I finally have it, I use it as a diaper bag. Dreams may come true but sometimes not in the form you imagined, it's much better! 

Anyway. To see more of the Tod's Women's SS 2017 collection, visit their website, Tods.com. Tod's is available at Rustan's Shangri-la Plaza and Greenbelt 4.

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Monday, February 13, 2017

Back To School? Making The Most Of Adult Education

While some careers, like blogging, are all about creativity and self-motivation, others have much more clear-cut parameters. I tried looking for a job in a more stable industry a few months ago and I just wasn't getting accepted because my education and experience in the creative industry weren't considered important in the companies I applied to. So I'm thinking of going back to school and getting more qualifications in IT and digital marketing.

If you’re like me and you're finding yourself at a crossroads in life and have also decided to go back into education, there are probably all kinds of questions and uncertainties weighing on your mind. Here, I’ve listed some of the best tips for any adult going back to school…


Network!
When you come back to education after a long break from it, it can be a very daunting prospect. If you’re in your 30s (or 40s like me!) and about to go to an institution that’s full of people much younger than you, it’s pretty common to suddenly become much more introverted than you thought you were. When I was in college, I remember having classmates much older than myself... and it was the coolest thing! They were our favorite classmates because they were already working and so could tell us all about the professional life. 

So it may be a little scary at first, but I strongly recommend you come out of your shell. By developing a network of good friends and acquaintances, you’ll do a lot to enhance your experience, and have someone to fall back on when the actual grind of education gets tough. Having people who you can discuss coursework, exams and assignments with, and borrow or trade notes with when you miss a class, will make the whole experience both easier and more enjoyable. It's just like being in college again! Except you have more money, experience and wrinkles now haha.

Manage your time.
Being able to manage your time effectively is essential for any student, particularly adults who are coming back to education after a long break. This is even more important if, like adult students, you’re having to juggle your education with providing for a family and various other commitments. This is actually the only thing holding me back now. I don't have the time yet!

In school, whether in a campus or online, you’ll be supplied with a timetable for your classes of course, but it may be helpful to create your own, setting aside times for all your commitments outside of education that you need to stay on top of. Over time, you’ll learn what needs to take priority, and how to accept the fact that you simply can’t do everything in some instances. Of course, if you need to be on-call as a parent and partner around the clock, it can mean your options are even more constrained. Fortunately, there are ways around this. A lot of popular majors, such as bachelor’s degrees in business administration, are run through online programs that allow you a lot of freedom to move your personal timetable around.

Use technology at every opportunity.
One great thing about education is that it allows you all kinds of opportunities to develop new knowledge and skills, even in things that have nothing to do with the subject you’re studying. If you’re looking to improve your career prospects through further education, then the one thing you should make time for is using all the technology that’s available to you. Basic IT, and everything it’s evolved into, is used extensively at modern educational institutions, and there’s bound to be some way for you to try it all out. The more clubs you join and credits you can obtain related to modern technology, the more impressive your CV will be by the time you go looking for the next big step in your career.

I thought my CV was impressive enough but apparently it isn't anymore. With the world rapidly going online, my extensive experience in print publishing just isn't cutting it anymore. So I need to go back to school, working mamas! If you have tips on which online school or campus is good to old folks like me, please do tell!

*image from Flickr
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Saturday, February 11, 2017

Blog Biz: Where is Your Blog Heading? Some Ideas to Take it Forward!

Hi, working mamas! Been away for a while because I started a new project with Calyxta (more about that soon!). But I'm here again today because a few readers asked me why I turned my blog into a working mama's journal. Well, I've been blogging for almost 11 years and I've changed a lot in those 11 years so naturally my blog will evolve with me. Right now, I'm a working mom and that's the aspect of my life that I want to share with people. Right now and for the near future, I'm making Topaz Horizon a place for me and fellow working moms to come together.


If you’ve been running your blog for a long time, you might be starting to wonder where its future lies. It probably can’t continue in the same way forever. Blogs reach a certain point when they either have to make that step up or get stuck in a rut. For you, the best thing to do is look for ways in which your blog can be grown and improved. It’s always tricky to make this happen, but there are loads of things you could be doing.

Rather than let your blog run into the ground, look at it objectively, and decide where the areas of weakness lie. Your blog certainly won’t be perfect, and that gives you plenty to work on. I still have a ton of things to fix on my blog, and I'm so intimidated with all the things I need to do, but slowly, I'm doing them all. If you’re like me and you're also struggling to get started with these changes, here are some great ideas that could kickstart your blog and push it in a new direction.

Make your overall editorial outlook clear.
First of all, you need to make sure that your blog has a clear editorial stance. This is something that all professional publications have. Gone are the days when blogs are just online diaries that meander here and there. These days, you have to find your niche, your specialty, so that readers know exactly what your blog is about and what they're getting. 

If you want your blog to become a little more professional, this is one of the things that you will need to do. It will mean that your blog posts are more unified and you put across a consistent worldview in your posts. It will give you and your blog a concrete identity that people can easily recognise and believe as authentic. 

Grab readers’ attention with good headlines.
If you can grab people’s attention better, you will become more equipped to improve your blog traffic. Most people will see the headline of your blog before anything else. And if they are not instantly intrigued by what the piece is about, they probably won’t go any further. As a reader, you probably do this yourself. Pay attention to your headlines. If you get this wrong, then it doesn’t matter how good the blog post is because no one will read it. You can’t underestimate the power of good headlines.

Implement categories.
Oh, this is the change that I'm having such a hard time with! Because my blog's more than a decade old and it's evolved so much, I've covered sooooo many topics. Organizing them into categories is driving me crazy! I've been tempted to delete entire posts from my early years of blogging (the rambling, nonsense posts) just so I have less categories!

Implementing categories is a simple logistical step that should make your blog a bit more user-friendly. This is particularly important if you write on a series of different topics on your blog. When the new categories are in place, users will have more control over how they want to view the content that’s on offer. They could go straight to the section that interests them most, while ignoring the other sections and topics that your blog covers. It will also make the blog a bit more easy to navigate and a lot more organised that it was before.

Bring in new voices.
It can be a great idea to bring new voices into the mix if you want to get people more interested in your blog. When one person is producing all the content, it can limit the scope of the blog. Not to mention that it can be extremely exhausting! 

You can’t be an expert on everything, so having someone who is able to make things clearer and share their stories and thoughts can add some much-needed variety. I know many bloggers who let other bloggers guest post on their blog. How to start? Ask your friends who have similar interests to guest post and offer a link exchange. You could also just let people know that you’re looking for new writers and see what response you get. If you want new perspectives while remaining the face of the blog, you could use a ghost blog writer.   

Be more social.
It can really help if you get your blog brand out there and try to be a little more social. This is best done via social media platforms. If you’re not already promoting your blog on Facebook and Twitter, as well as some of the other platforms that might be applicable to your blog, this is something that has to change. These days, all the major blogs and bloggers have a strong presence on these social sites. Create dedicated accounts on as many of these platforms as possible, and then see what you can do to build a followers. It will also allow you to share posts and reach new people.

Use the power of images and videos.
Images and videos can help you so much when it comes to promoting the writing you do. If you don’t use images on your posts, you are missing out. For a start, social media links are a lot more likely to be interacted with when they have some sort of media attached to them. This could be an image or a video. I always make sure my blog posts have a photo—if not mine, then an image from a photo agency. Posts with pictures are more likely to be clicked on and read so always have an image! 

Right now, vlogging is the hottest thing. Even my blog sponsors are now asking for videos. I'm not very good with videos so this is a struggle. But I will try it this year. Please help me and tell me what you want to watch!

Make your blog mobile-friendly.
All blogs need to be mobile-friendly these days. The number of people using mobile devices to view your blog is going up. I don't have any data to back up my theory regarding how my readers read my blog, but I know many readers do so while they're on their phone. I know this because people aren't commenting as often on my blog posts anymore; they'd rather comment on Facebook. Why? It's harder to leave comments when you're on the phone! 

Mobile usage is quickly surpassing desktop usage when it comes to browsing the internet. So, if you are not up to date with this change, your blog could be left behind. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to read a blog post on a blog that is clearly not responsive in its design. You will just end up frustrating your readers, and those people will be unlikely to come back in the future.

Build a network.
Finally, you should try to build a network around your blog. When you have a core group or readers and fans that share and interact with your content, you will be able to find new ways to reach more people. I call these wonderful people my Loyal Readers. I love you, Loyal Readers! Thank you for staying throughout all my life and blog changes!!! 

Anyway, back to giving tips! The people in your network - or community - will bring in other people, and that’s how word of your blog and its content can start to spread very rapidly. So talk to the people who post comments under your posts and interact with people better on social media. More than helping your blog become bigger, your community will become your online friends. If you're lucky like me and many bloggers, they'll eventually be your friends in real life! 

*This is a guest post, heavily edited that it's almost like I wrote it! To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Image from Pixabay.

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Thursday, February 02, 2017

Power on, moms!

I found this old video that encourages moms to get fit and be healthy. It's about telling moms not to quit going to the gym or exercising, even when it seems impossible. But when I watched it now, I found myself moved to tears because it applies to all aspects of our life as mothers.

The house always needs cleaning, the laundry always piles up, the cooking always needs to be done, the dishes always need to be washed. The bills are endless, the kids' needs never end, the husband can't be neglected, the friendships and family relationships need to be maintained. IT. NEVER. ENDS.

And do you know what good moms do anyway? We get up even when we're tired. We wipe the endlessly runny noses. We pick up the toys on the floor which will again end up on the floor. We cook another meal that will most probably be rejected by the picky eaters. We spend precious time with our husbands even when we're collapsing with exhaustion. We dress up, put on make up, brush our hair even when we'd rather sleep. We manage the house. We go to another day at work. We mother. We go on.

It doesn't end. And I know we get tired and cry and we complain but we know deep inside we never want it to end. We never want it to end because this is the life we've chosen, this is the life we own, and it's not easy but it's worth it.



"I know I didn't always listen but, mommy, I was always watching and I saw that for you, quitting was not an option."

Don't give up, dearest mommy. We moms never quit. Power on, power through. Sending you my mommy energy! Send me yours, too!

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Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Can't wait to discover Hong Kong this 2017!


Halloo, working mamas! Yesterday, I attended a lunch hosted by the Hong Kong Tourism Board (HKTB). They wanted to express their thanks to us Filipinos because we're such a huge market. Can't contest that. On my Facebook alone, it seems like everyone I know goes to Hong Kong on a weekly weekend whim. Aside from thanking us for being such fans of their attractions like Disneyland, Ocean Park, and their shopping, the HKTB also wanted to tell us about their "Best of All, It's in Hong Kong" campaign, which invites everyone to many other places to check out in Hong Kong. I was very surprised!

For example, I did not know that you can go hiking in Hong Kong and see the dazzling city right below you. I mean, I knew that there were mountains behind that famous skyline. I just didn't realize that those mountains were within spitting distance of the skyscrapers. Literally!
Whenever movie star Sean Lau feels the stress of city living, all he has to do is escape to the nearby mountains.

I also just found out today that there is a volcano in Hong Kong and so the Hong Kong UNESCO Geopark was created to celebrate that fact. In fact, I didn't even know that there was nature in Hong Kong! I always thought it was all city. But believe it or not, there's a marine park, a wetland park, a nature reserve, and a botanical garden! And by marine park, I don't mean Ocean Park (which is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year, by the way, so do visit!).
Movie star Michael Wong invites everyone to check out the biggest Hong Kong attractions.

I also never knew that Hong Kong has nice beaches. I knew that there was Repulse Bay but there's another one on the island called Big Wave Bay Beach. Other beaches are not on Hong Kong Island itself but in the neighboring Lantau Island, where Disneyland is.

So, if you think Hong Kong is only about shopping, food, and fun parks, think again. There's so much more to see and do in Hong Kong. We just need to discover them all!

But of course, you might as well shop and eat at Hong Kong, just like 20-year-resident Chef Umberto Bombana and his chef friends, including our own Chef Margarita Fores.

Anyway, back to my lunch today. I want to quickly share with you our dishes because they were especially created by Asia's Best Female Chef 2016, our very own Margarita Fores. My family is a fan of Cibo. We eat there all the time! So I was looking forward to our lunch. Chef Fores learned to cook when she lived in Hong Kong many years ago as an investment banker. The many flavors of Hong Kong plus her solo living made her realize that she not only loved to eat, she also loved to cook as well. So that was the start of her new career as a chef and restaurateur! So when HKTB asked her to create a special Filipino-Chinese meal for us, Chef Fores delivered. It was really nice how she was also so excited about each dish. She introduced every one as the servers placed the plates on our tables. I found her adorable! And here's what she made for us all.

Crab Trio Sformato Chinese Black Vinegar-Negros Muscovado Glaze
Organic greens, calamansi perfume
Handmade Egg Taglierini, Asian Bolognese
Minced pork and cured goose liver sausage ragu, organic peanut
Spotted Philippine Garoupa in Cartoccio
Cordillera black rice cooked to a crisp (a.k.a. tutong), Hong Kong cured meat trio, Xiashing wine, Balsamico di Modena, Mindanao sakurab onions
Spiced US Angus Short Rib Adobo
Davao chocolate, Negros cinnamon, five spice, Philippine soy-Chinese plum sauce, pickled bitter gourd and palm heart atsara, rosella Chinese barley, topped with pumpkin flower fritter
Salted Egg Panna Cotta & Red Bean Ensaimada
Coconut caramel sago pearls, warm pili milk, Batangas coffee coral

It was an interesting menu. Very flavorful. A little strange, to be honest. I liked the crab salad and the adobo best. I mean, that adobo was perfect.

My afternoon made me all the more excited to visit Hong Kong this year! I've been waiting for my youngest son Piero to get a little older so we can visit Hong Kong Disneyland. My kids want to see the new Iron Man attraction.

Iron Man Experience made its grand debut last January 11 at Hong Kong Disneyland. The ride is interactive—kids (and kids-at-heart) board it at the Stark Expo at Tomorrowland. First, kids get to examine the innovations from Stark Industries. Then they can try on the Iron Man armor virtually. If they're lucky (oh, I hope my kids will be lucky!), they can also meet Iron Man in person! The grand finale is putting on a pair of StarkVision glasses and boarding a special Expo-edition Iron Wing flight vehicle. Forty-five passengers of this special simulated flight will fly alongside Iron Man in the Hong Kong sky for a panoramic view of the Hong Kong Stark Tower! But be ready for battle, kids—the evil forces of Hydra are out to get you and Iron Man! 

The immersive multi-sensory motion experience was created by more than 70 Imagineers from Hong Kong working together with the international Imagineering team and the Marvel team to create this world’s first Iron Man-themed area. It took them more than three years to design and create the Iron Man Experience: flight simulators, 3-D projection, surround sound, and other special effects!


My little Iñigo will go absolutely bonkers. That Iron Man-themed hotel room alone! Oh, I really really really want to bring the boys to Hong Kong this year!

The last time my family went to Hong Kong was in 2013, just before I discovered I was pregnant with my youngest boy. This year, they'll be 7, 5, and 3 years old. Must go back! Vito and Iñigo had so much fun in Hong Kong Disneyland so I am so sure Piero would enjoy himself, too. As a working mama, I first need to budget for this trip! So far, we haven't started putting away the funds for it, but that's why we're going to work extra hard this year. Pray for us, mommies! I'll pray for all of you, too. And when God answers our prayers and lands our families in Hong Kong at the same time, don't forget to say hi!

For more information on the latest and best of Hong Kong, go to their website: http://www.discoverhongkong.com. You can also follow them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.


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Monday, January 23, 2017

Blog Biz: How to get beautiful photos for your blog posts

Today's Blog Biz post was inspired by a reader who asked why I said some time ago that I was deleting old blog posts. Well, I have many reasons but the biggest is image copyright. I've been blogging for more than 10 years and back in the day, we bloggers just grabbed willy-nilly any and every photo and image we found on the world wide web and used those for our blog posts. So I had (or have since I'm not yet done editing!) dozens of blog posts that have images that were used without permission and credit.

Working mamas, that's called stealing intellectual property.

One of the most worrying and creativity-numbing components of blogging is sourcing images. There are many horror stories of bloggers using images that were protected by copyright, assuming they would just get a warning or takedown notice but instead, ended up paying money due to an image copyright claim—it’s a scary thought.

More and more bloggers have become law-savvy and have prepared several alternate methods of obtaining images to avoid the possibility of being sued by a disgruntled photographer. In all fairness, people who create those images have a right to enforce their copyrights, but no one wants to pay someone thousands of dollars just because they used an image without permission, so it’s best to avoid that trouble altogether.

So does this mean we won't use photos for our blog posts anymore? In this particular age of social media, beautiful images matter. They are what make your blog stand out, they help break up long text, and they make people read your blog. Sourcing beautiful images is key to creating a successful blog, so here are some tips to get the images you need:

Take your own photos.
This is an obvious one but many people seem to forget that their smartphones can take ridiculously good photographs. If you need some snaps of nature or the skyline or your outfit, then why not grab your phone and go for a little walk around the block? If you need to take generic stock photographs of a computer or a chair, then why not just snap some pictures of your house or if your house isn't Instagram-worthy, go to your friend’s home and take a few shots?

Use stock photos.
If you aren’t in a position to take your own photographs, then consider a stock photo service. These can get pretty expensive, but they offer an insanely large collection of stock photographs with comprehensive search functions. I sometimes use stock photos, too, but I use free photos. Yes, there are free ones out there! The ones I used for this blog post are from Unsplash*, just to give you an example. I'll make another blog post on stock photo services! With these services, you’re almost guaranteed to be able to find some photographs to suit your blog, but chances are your readers might notice they are stock pictures and be put off by your lack of creativity.

UPDATE Jan 31, 2023: I just deleted all the stock photos I got from Unsplash. Scrubbed my entire blog of their images. Apparently, there are disputes about copyright over some photos on their site. I know because I just got a letter about it. This lawyer's saying his client owns the photos I got from Unsplash. The photographer credited in Unsplash says the photos are his. Not worth the trouble! So no more stock photos for me. I'll just...

Learn to create images.
If it’s not photographs you’re after, then perhaps you need to get involved with the design process and learn your way around graphic design. Fortunately, there are many online tools that let you create your own posters, flyers or other images that are suited for the web or social media use. I just discovered Canva and I've used it for creating my media kit. I plan to make memes and working-mama quotes next! Now if you’re into comic art, creating banners or even mixing stock images to create infographics and other similar designs, then pick up basic skills with software like GIMP or Photoshop.

Hire a freelancer.
If you need a specific image made or a picture taken of a particular location, then there are hundreds of freelancers on the internet that are just waiting to be hired. A quick Google search will reveal thousands of results for budding freelance designers and photographers who are willing to work for less money just to build up a portfolio for when they pitch to higher profile clients. If you’re lucky, you can get a beautifully created image for less than the price of lunch. Yes—please pay. I have a lot of friends who are photographers and graphic designers who HATE bloggers who ask for ex-deals. Please offer them payment. I'm sure they'll be willing to work within your budget if you're really nice. 

I still think that taking your own photos is the best and easiest solution. I use my iPhone 6 and Olympus camera. Some bloggers who have lots of money invest in cameras and equipment (lights, tripods, reflectors, etc) and their investment paid off, especially with gaining Instagram followers. 

You don't have to do the same yet. Just use whatever you have, take photos in a well-lit area, use your phone's filters, use photo editing apps, and master flatlays and your perfect angle. Take your own photos! It’s easy to upload to your computer or website, you have full ownership of the images and you don’t need to worry about infringing on someone’s copyrights. Good luck, mommy bloggers!


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