TOPAZ HORIZON

I just finished this lovely little book, An Open Book: Thursdays with Nanay Coring. It's a short biography of National Book Store founder, Socorro Ramos. And when I said it's a little book, I meant it's a short and fast read, written in simple language that both kids and grown-ups will appreciate.

I think if you're a mom looking for books to inspire your kids, this is a good pick. If you're a working mom looking for inspiration, then this is definitely something that can encourage you. I read it in an hour and I found myself highlighting passages and writing my thoughts on the margins—Yes, I write on my books. For me, when I do that, that's always a sign it's a good book!


Every chapter in this book tells the story of Mrs Ramos, lovingly called Nanay Coring—from her impoverished childhood, her whirlwind and enduring romance with her husband, and how she lived through the great war to how she built her business again and again and still remains to this day the massive force behind the country's biggest book store and stationery supplies chain.

Each title of the 14 chapters highlights what the Ramos matriarch wants us to learn from her life. Here are Nanay Coring's advice and life lessons:

1. Live simply.
2. Never surrender Corregidor. (You'll have to read the book to understand this advice.)
3. Remain humble.
4. Knowledge is power.
5. The more time you spend at the store, the more you know.
6. If you work hard, nothing is impossible.
7. Always be on time, if not early.
8. Never show signs of weakness.
9. Be known as a good person, not a rich person.
10. It takes time to build something.
11. Happiness is helping people.
12. Rely on your own gut feel.
13. Always pray.
14. Read more. Know more. Earn more.

Aside from those life lessons, I picked up 7 other tips from Nanay Coring. Here they are:


1. Remember what's important.
Nanay Coring was from her father's second family. She lived through the war. She saw her business fail several times. So even when she became massively successful, her values remained the same: Don't forget where you came from, and take care of your family. That's it.

Throughout the book, she constantly reminds her children and the reader to work hard but to not forget your husband and children. Eat meals with your family. Talk with your family. Go out and spend time with them. Being busy with work, Nanay Coring and her husband Jose only had Sundays free. So they used that time to reconnect with each other and their kids by going to church, eating lugaw and siopao at Ongpin, snacking on fruits, candy and tsampoy.

Unlike what we working mamas are told, it doesn't really take a lot of time or money to make an impact on our kids. We don't have to be with them 24/7, we don't have to be their sole caregiver, we don't have to take them on out-of-town trips every weekend, we don't have to give them "the best" a.k.a. expensive shit. I see this so often these days! Moms who over-schedule their kids or spend every single minute with them, or demand their husbands to jet off the whole family somewhere exotic every weekend or so "to make memories." How exhausting. How frantic. How mom-guilty.

Relax! Remember what's important! They need us to love them. That is all. We don't have to prove it so much. We just need to eat a meal with them every day, give them hugs and kisses, and make simple memories. My husband was lucky enough to come from a well-off family, but it's their dinner-time stories he tells me often about, or how their garden overlooked their school and their mom waited there, or their trips to the grocery. I hardly ever hear about their annual shopping jaunts to Hong Kong, even though as a girl from a poor family, that was what impressed me most. So keep it simple.


2. Don't call for trouble.
See my note there? Haha. How indeed! Also, since I'm very confrontational, I'm noisy and argumentative. In the time of social media, how do you keep quiet about your food, your trips, your shopping, your kids, your career, your political views???

So my takeaway here is don't ask for trouble unless you're ready for it.


3. Have integrity in everything you do. 
This isn't easy. Sometimes we really mean we'll do the job, attend the meeting, be at the event, pay the bills. But life happens. Traffic happens. The kids happen. But it should be our guiding principle in work, in parenting, in marriage, in politics, in EVERYTHING. Have integrity. Be true to who you are and what you value. Say what you mean and mean what you say.


4. Give people what they need.
Many moms ask me what business can they start so they can work from home. Many mompreneurs I know started their business because they needed something no one was providing or a product no one was selling, and they decided to just fill that space. I like how Nanay Coring also figured out that people sometimes don't know what they need and you have to tell them. Create your customers!

I love that advice because sometimes I have a great idea and then I think, "Maybe I'm the only one who needs this." But Nanay Coring is proof that marketing can be as simple as telling people, "This is my need, and this solved it. Do you want to try it out, too?"


5. Care for people.
Smile. Be considerate. Be thoughtful. Open doors for clients and assistants. Give your customers and messengers a cool drink. Say thanks.


6. Be proud of your work.
Whenever I feel guilty about being away from my kids, I tell myself to shut up. As a work-at-home mom, I'm not even away from them often. Once a week maybe, for 4-6 hours. That's not a lot so I shouldn't feel guilty for the time spent away from them, especially since that time was used for one or both of these reasons: (1) I earned money, (2) I refreshed my mind and spirit doing something I'm good at.

Many times in the past, when my kids see me tired from meeting a deadline, they say, "Mama, I'm going to work one day so you won't have to." And I always say, "That's nice, but I like my work. I like using my brain. I like making my own money. I like work a lot!" So now my kids don't equate work with bad things. They see that it's not easy but it's something I'm proud of, that provides for our needs, and that makes our comfortable life possible.

Except for when I worked at the Senate, I'm always proud of what I do, even when people sneered at it. And when you're a blogger like me, people are always sneering at you. It's so funny that when I tell people I'm also an editor and a beauty writer, they kinda relax into a strange relief: "Oh, you have a real job." Then when they find out my blog still makes more money than any other "real job" I hold, they protest again.

I refuse to be ashamed of my blogging. It puts food in my children's tummies, it's not corrupt, it's not stealing. So as long as you have a job that helps people and your family—whether you're a janitress or a CEO, be proud of it! Your children are proud of you! 


7. Do what you're best at.
Throughout the book, author Cecilia Ramos Licauco who is also Nanay Coring's only daughter, says that her mother wanted to be other things. Nanay Coring wanted to be a doctor. She also wanted to be a singer. Instead she became an entrepreneur and succeeded in it so massively.

The lesson I got there is we all have dreams and sometimes we can pour our whole lives into making those dreams come true, and sometimes we can allow life to tell us where to go. As a young girl, I was determined to make my dreams of becoming a magazine editor-in-chief come true. And it did! But as a mother, the latter is what's true for me. I had a job with crazy hours that demanded I wear stylish clothes and sky-high heels, I had babies who only wanted to breastfeed, and yayas who kept resigning. I couldn't juggle my dream job and my kids! So I let life take over. I became a stay-at-home mommy, I blogged about my boring/crazy mom life in the most raw and honest ways, which people seemed to like a lot. Blogging was so successful that—tada!—I registered it as a business.

I never dreamed of becoming a mom and a blogger, but those are what I am now. And guess what—these roles fulfill me more (and blogging pays more, too) than anything I've ever done before. So maybe when we as moms feel life is passing us by and our dreams aren't coming true, maybe it's time to look at our life, dream new dreams, and see how we can make this mom life work for us instead.

If you want to get a copy of An Open Book: Thursdays with Nanay Coring, it's available at all National Book Store branches. You can't miss it. It's always by the cashier! You can also leave a comment on this post and first one gets my copy! When I'm done with a book, I sometimes give it away. I wrote on this one, though, so if that doesn't bother you, then it's yours!

While everybody wants a steady source of income for their daily bread, not everybody wants to work in an office every day. Many people thrive in a social and supportive environment an office provides while others need a space to properly focus on their work. When I was still a magazine editor, I went to the office to manage the operations, consult with staff, and meet with publishers and advertisers. But I went home to write and edit because I needed absolute quiet for those tasks.

Do you ever feel like there's something missing in your life? Maybe you feel like you're not doing enough or you're not experiencing life to its fullest. To be very honest, we moms really should rethink that feeling because with kids to raise, a marriage to keep, a home to run, and—if you're a working mom like me—a job to do, there's already more than enough on our plate and a huge purpose to live out. Let's tell ourselves every day that being a mom is a lot! 

But I know that awful feeling that life is passing you by. Or, more accurately, your life is being poured out to your husband and kids and you fear that you have nothing left for yourself. And you want something for yourself. I get it. That's why I insist on blogging even though I can't find the time and energy for it now that I'm so busy. I still keep going at it when I can because it's mine. It's my little space in the world—my thoughts, my voice, my convictions.

If you're thinking about how to make your life more fulfilling, there are several things you could do to be happier.

I've said it many times: Doing the laundry is my favorite chore! But it only became that way when I got an Electrolux washer dryer in 2015. Before then, I'd literally spend the whole day doing the laundry.

A month ago today, the boy who changed my life forever celebrated his 8th birthday. The great thing about having many kids is you have an instant party anytime, all the time, but especially at celebration time. And a birthday is always a party at our house!


Three little boys so happy to celebrate! I love these three kiddos. They are the happiest little creatures I've ever met. Reminds me not to be so serious.


For his birthday, all Vito wanted was a rainbow cake and a day at Kidzania. So that's what we did. We got him a Red Ribbon rainbow cake that I decorated with Minecraft icing buttons and candy confetti. And we trooped to Kidzania so the boys can pretend to be grownups for a day.

And maybe that's the first sign he's not a little boy anymore.

Here he is quietly contemplating his birthday wish as we all loudly sing him his birthday song. Thinking about his wish is the only time his face grows serious. I wonder what he was thinking of at this very moment. We never ask. A birthday wish is the only secret they can keep, I tell them. And they usually do keep it to themselves but blurt it out anyway hours after.


This year, Vito didn't reveal his birthday wish. We never ask, remember? But this year, because he didn't say anything to me at all, I couldn't help it. A few days later, I finally asked. "What did you wish for when you blew out your birthday candle?" "I didn't wish for anything, Mama," he said. "I already have everything I want." *heart melts* "Everything?" "Well," he finally said. "I want more Skylanders but I can ask those from Santa."

He still believes in Santa. Vito still believes in Santa Claus! He's still my little boy!


Look at that boy. How did I ever make such a perfect child? He's a reminder every day of how good life is, how our family is a celebration of love and grace, how blessed I am. All I have to do is just look at him and his brothers. But I'm usually too focused on chores, work, getting things done... And so I forget.

Look at that boy, I say to myself when I finally look up from all I need to do as a mother. Just look at him. And never forget how amazing life has been especially these past 8 years.

Happy birthday, my sunshine! You are our joy forever!

It's always party season in our side of the world but when the -ber months come rolling around, there's a party almost every other day! Hello, September! And I'm already getting lots of invites to events. Now that my kids are in school, I have a little time now so I'm going to try to attend all (?!) the parties I'm invited to. It's always nice to see old friends and meet new ones!

An unforgettable invite from IG: @theinspirationseekers C and L

I noticed everyone sends save-the-date notices and invitations through Facebook Events these days, and it may be because I'm from the 20th century but I really seriously frown on that. For really special occasions (like weddings!), the invitation should be sent over mail or handed over personally. The invitation tells your guests so many things. Aside from the who, what, when and where, it also tells your guests if it's a formal affair or a fun get-together, if they need to dress up or dress down, if it's a social media moment or if it's strictly private. The invitation sets the stage for the event to come and should therefore be thought out and delivered with care.

Because I'm such a fan of "Shop for anything online!", let me tell you about this amazing website I'm currently crushing on. It's BasicInvite.com! I just discovered it last week and I'm going over everything, not for party invites, but for design inspiration for a possible blog makeover. Basic Invite lets it possible for you to create truly custom invitations—no art director or artist needed. Just look at these pretty samples:

This picture is making me all sentimental and gooey inside. I took this photo for my BabyLove diaper review just a few months ago, when we started toilet training in earnest. It was Piero's third summer and we really hoped he'd be potty-trained before his fourth birthday. Sure enough, before we even finished the pack of diapers—I didn't realize it would be his very last!—Piero was using the toilet and he's strutting around now like a big boy. "I peed in the toy-wet, mama!"

And now I see this photo, a photo of his last days as a baby, and it makes me so emotional!!! As in naiyak ako, mamas. Kainez. I was surprised at my reaction. I have been so ready for the kid stage and so proud Piero went through potty training like a champ, but now that it's here, I guess I'm also wistful for the baby days.

But not wistful enough to want another baby! Nope. I am done! I am finished! I never have to do potty training again! Here's a short post on our tips on how we toilet-trained our three boys (because, yes, I can finally claim to be an expert!):

1. Watch for child's readiness.
I know babies can be potty-trained, and by babies, I mean 2 months old to less than a year old. But doctors say that is not a good idea at all. You can protest all you want but I'm going with the medical experts. Pediatric urologist Steve J. Hodges, MD, advocates for late potty training. His recommended age is 3 years old. Because any earlier than that is harmful. He writes in parenting website, Babble, "It’s typically the kids who trained earliest and most easily who develop the most serious problems. I see about 100 kids a week at my clinic, and about half are dysfunctional voiders; most of them trained before 3." Read his eye-opening article here: The Dangers of Potty Training Too Early.

How do you know a child is ready? When she can say she's ready, when she can run to the toilet and sit on it herself, and when she can pull down and pull up her underwear herself. So what does that mean? A child is ready for potty training when she can talk, walk, and have enough motor skills to not fall into the toilet bowl and manage the business of underwear on her own. Depending on your child, that could be anywhere from 2 to 3 years old.

Our kids were toilet-trained at these ages: Vito at 4 years and 2 months old, Iñigo at exactly 3 years old, and Piero at exactly 4 years old. We waited for their readiness, and because they were raring to do it, too, we were done in about 3 days, with hardly any mess and dismay.

2. Be ready yourself!
A few years ago, I was talking to a taxi driver while we were stuck in traffic. He was complaining about his kid, who had a kid herself. "Limang taong gulang na anak niya, hindi pa rin nagbabanyo mag-isa. Paano, tinatamad yung anak kong turuan yung anak niya!" So there, mga mommies. Kapag handa na si baby, kailangang handa na rin kayo!

Yes, while there are parents who are very eager to get their kids out of diapers, there are also parents on the other end of the spectrum. Many times parents are loathe to potty-train because it will be messy. They just don't want to deal with the mess and the frustration. As a former preschool teacher, I can attest to the many times a parent has asked, "Do you toilet train the kids as part of the curriculum?" O.M.G. talaga. Toilet training is a parent's job, guys.

I have a list of what to prepare when you're in the toilet-training stage to help you deal better with the mess and accidents. Click here!

3. Buy fun underwear.

4. Try training pants.
Now that you've made your child excited to wear big-boy briefs or big-girl panties, you can help train them with the pull-down/pull-up movement with training pants. Training pants are diapers that have an elastic waistband. This makes it easier for your child to pull down his diaper when he needs to go the toilet. It also helps him feel secure because if accidents do happen, the mess will be contained in the training pants and can be discarded. It's easier for both the child and the parent (or yaya).

In our case, we only used training pants with Piero, our last child. That's how I know it really helps ease the anxiety and frustration of everyone involved in this messy business. I mean, we were able to toilet train Vito and Iñigo without training pants but with Piero, everyone was more relaxed. We used BabyLove Premium Gold Pants. Piero calls them "dia-pants" and these training pants definitely made the whole potty-training episode a happy affair. Plus, he loved his dia-pants so much, he was almost sorry when he realized he didn't need them anymore! Try the BabyLove Premium Gold Pants, mamas. Topaz Mommy approved!

5. Reward successful attempts.
It's important to be wildly happy about every successful trip to the toilet, mamas. Like, make it a HUGE deal. "Oh my goodness, you peed in the toilet! I'm so happy! Are you happy? Did that make you feel like a big boy? I bet! I can't wait for you to do that again! Good job!" Yes, that wildly happy.

Another thing they respond positively to is rewards. Whether it's a sticker on a chart or a small toy, you two decide. With Vito, he had to be motivated by Lego minifigs. With Iñigo, he was just happy with the praise. I mean, we had toys ready for him, too, but he was happier with the hugs and kisses. With Piero, he asked for a big toy—a Pacific Rim Jaeger action figure that we had to order all the way from China. So he was determined to learn to use the toilet quickly.

And of course, never punish a child for accidents. Don't even express disappointment. Always be encouraging. I know some parents get angry and say things like, "You're such a baby! You're so dirty!" And they spank the child for every time he or she doesn't get to the toilet on time. The child then learns to control his or her peeing and pooping out of fear. I've read research indicating that punishing a child during toilet training may result to two things: when the child grows up, he or she becomes sexually frigid or sexually deviant. The now-adult associate their sexual organs with filth, anger, and disappointing the important people in their life. So they either cannot feel sexual pleasure or they will only want sex that not normal. So please please please make potty training a positive experience!!!

Aaaaand there you go, mamas! My top toilet-training tips for that exciting, frustrating and messy time in you and your toddler's life!

Now, if you need diapers to contain the mess, help train your kid, or because your child's not ready yet for undies, there's a Shopee BabyLove Fair happening now till August 29, 2018. The promo says diapers are up to 50% discounted! Plus, you get a chance to get a bag of diapers for only P99. Those are big savings! Shop here!!!

I've always known since I got pregnant with my first child, Vito, that he isn't mine. I'm his forever and ever but he belongs to someone else and I'm only here to take care of him until he's ready to be with that someone else. With my next sons, Iñigo and then Piero, I knew that same truth.

So today I went to the mall to buy a prepaid SIM card for me, and also get new glasses for me, and shop for me. It was an errand FOR ME. But I get there and I saw this jar of M&Ms chocolate spread and of course I bought it because I got so excited to see my kids try it. And I also got milk tea because my kids love milk tea (never mind that my backpack was suddenly 2 kilos). And then I got new shirts for my husband because wala lang. And then I checked out bedsheets because my sons said they love hotel sheets.

I'm finally done making my blog's media kit for 2019! I usually make a media kit around August, then email them to agencies and brands at around September to October. I get polite, noncommittal replies throughout November. Nothing in December. But by January, I get proposals na.

My mama readers ask me now and then if my kids have chores and if I reward them for doing their chores. Here's the answer: My kids have chores. Since they're still young, their chore list isn't long, just the usual (make your bed, pack away your toys, help set and clear the table, put away your shoes).

For chores, they don't get rewards. For doing homework, no rewards, either. We believe that kids shouldn't be rewarded for things they have to do. But for things they don't have to do but do anyway (like shine shoes that aren't theirs, wash the car), yes, we reward them with either money or treats.

Congratulate me, mamas. I am finally done with the baby stage! With my youngest boy, Piero, finally out of diapers, we are now truly in the kid stage. That means I'm dealing with tons of sweat, a life that revolves around school, my kids making their own friends, and lots of briefs in the laundry basket. A new life indeed!


People tell me all the time, "Aww don't you miss having a baby?" Nope. I loved having babies, of course. I loved the toddler stage. What I love most? I love that it's done! Having gone through it three times and over 8 years (EIGHT YEARS), I am so happy to move on! Just thinking of full diapers, dealing with poop every single morning, toilet-training and I know I'm done with babies. If I could, I'd throw a massive party saying good-bye to that phase in my life!

After three kids successfully out of diapers, I think I'm qualified to give tips on toilet-training. So I will! For today, let me share the tools you'll need when you're in this oh-so messy stage in your child's life. Here's what you need:

1. Training pants
I can't tell you enough how surprised I was at how training pants really work! I only tried training pants with my third little boy. I honestly didn't think they were necessary because we didn't use them with my first two boys.

But I discovered BabyLove Premium Gold Pants (because Piero liked the baby on the packaging) and so we gave training pants a try and—my goodness!—it worked! It worked because it made Piero get used to the pulling down and pulling up action whenever he needed to use the toilet. He also liked that the BabyLove "diapants" made him feel secure, that he could have accidents a little. It wasn't traumatizing at all. So he didn't feel panicky when he had to go because if he leaked a little, the diapants will catch it, and yet because he knew the diapants were easy to pull down, he was willing to run to the toilet.

If you want to try BabyLove Premium Gold Pants, there's a sale on Shopee right now till Sunday. Click here to shop!

2. Wipes
Ah yes, a mother's best friend! You're going to need this near you at all times in case of accidents and to wipe the toilet seat clean.

3. Target
This is for little boys learning to pee. It's hard for them to control the angle of their pee and they also get surprised at how it comes out. Remember, they've always peed in a diaper so they've never actually seen their pee coming out of their penis. So expect them to watch their pee coming out instead of focusing on keeping their pee in the toilet!

What can help is putting a colorful target in the bowl. You can use one Fruit Loop floating on the water. Other moms put a sticker just above the water line. It's easily peeled off after a few flushes.

4. Paper towels
Rags will do, too. You'll need to wipe pee and poo off the floor or the toilet seat or chubby thighs in case of accidents.

The last few days when Piero was still wearing diapers announced on Facebook!

5. Antibacterial soap and alcohol
Potty training is a messy business. When I potty-trained my second boy, Iñigo, I got bad diarrhea for 6 weeks and had to see a gastroenterologist for relief. I'm afraid I was careless with washing and disinfecting my hands. I'm glad it happened to me instead of one or all of the kids!

6. Spray bottle with diluted bleach
7. Pads
These are for your child's bed. I put one under the fitted sheet so that in case my little boy pees in his sleep, the mattress is protected.

8. Pail
This is for rags and briefs and other clothing that need to be washed. Just throw them in so you can attend to them later.

9. Rewards
Toys always work! Especially with my first son, Vito. He got a Lego minifig after each pee and poo appointment haha Toys get the kids excited, knowing a little toy is waiting for them when they successfully use the toilet.

10. Lots of patience!
Every child is different. My kids were toilet-trained "late." Vito at 4 and 2 months, Iñigo at 3 years old exactly, and Piero at 4 years old exactly. Many parents think a child should be toilet-trained before a year old. I think some things should be determined by the child's readiness. Weaning, starting on solid food, walking, potty training. If you wait until the child's ready, potty training is done in 3 days and it's so painless and not so messy because the child is excited to become a big boy. If you force a child, potty training can take a loooooong time, and be full of frustration and accidents and misunderstandings.

So be patient for your child to be ready and be patient when you're going through potty training. Your patience will be rewarded with a happy and accomplished child!

Okay, I hope my list of essential toilet-training tools helped you, mamas! Do try BabyLove Premium Gold Pants. Take advantage of the Shopee sale happening right now till Sunday. Click here to shop!


*This post was brought to you by BabyLove.