TOPAZ HORIZON

I was watching the season 4 trailer for Netflix's "The Crown" and I still can't believe that Charles could cheat on Diana with Camilla. But then I thought that Camilla was his first love and he was with her the entire time (even when she was married yikes). He only turned to Diana because he was 30 and single. A king's most important duty is to produce an heir so Charles better get going. So I guess in this case, Camilla was the "wife" and Diana was the poor "mistress." She truly didn't stand a chance. 

I miss making OK! magazine!

Except of course in reality Diana was the legal wife and Camilla the mistress. But Camilla prevailed and now she's not only the future queen/princess consort of the UK, the British people actually love her. Why? Because no one can resist an enduring love story.

Not that we're romanticizing any illegal affairs here, okay (yep, in the Philippines adultery and concubinage are crimes). But mistresses, especially celebrity ones, will always get hate hate hate. Unless you're the most successful kabit of all time - Angelina Jolie. Well, technically that would still be Camilla since Angelina and Brad got divorced, but Camilla had to endure hatred for decades. Angelina was beloved from the start. It was horrifying really seeing everyone root for the mistress, not for the devastated wife, Jennifer Aniston.

So how did Angelina do it? As a former celebrity magazine editor who had to put the Brangelina love story on my cover every single time for maybe 5 years haha, I have learned her ways. Here's how she did it: 

1. Don't go for a man with children.

Well, don't ever fall for a married man. Period. But if you go for a married man with kids, oh boy, you're never going to get any sympathy at all. I think that's why Angelina got away with a lot - Brad didn't have any kids and he wanted tons of kids. Our strange society thinks very badly of women who don't have kids so between child-free Jen and Mother Angelina, the latter got sympathy very quickly. She played on that, too, talking about her love for kids and how Brad wanted to be a father and how willing she was to be the mother of his children. People LOVE that shit.

But if the guy has kids, steer clear. It's bad enough he's lying to his wife, but betraying innocent children, too? That's plain evil. People will never forgive anyone who takes a father from his kids. That's pure evil. Don't be evil and don't fall for evil men. 

As for Camilla, honestly, I don't think she had a choice. Charles was a Prince of the Kingdom and eventually he would be the King. I think she had to say yes or else she'd get beheaded (joke - British sovereigns don't do that anymore).

2. Don't ever deny the affair.

Don't ever post Instagram Stories (ghostwritten or not haha) denying the affair because people will just enjoy your dirty laundry and come out with proof of your sullied reputation. You don't want that. The truth will come out for sure. There will be witnesses like frenemies, CCTV, irritated personal assistants, gleeful production assistants, etc. 

This was Angelina's one mistake. She kept denying it. She even said, "To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not, could not look at myself in the morning if I did that." And then she and Brad got photographed in March (or April) 2005 frolicking on a beach, and she was already pregnant with first biological child Shiloh when Brad and Jen's divorce was finalized in October. People can count months, ya know. Later on, she said in an interview with The New York Times that her kids love watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith because "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love." That movie was filmed in 2004, waaaaaay before Jen and Brad separated (January 2005) and divorced. So crap!  

As for Camilla, she kept quiet the entire time. Oh boy, did she get vilified for years. I honestly don't know how she survived that. But she did and mostly because pinanindigan niya. 

3. Take over the narrative.

Okay, so you fell for a married man. You're the most hated vixen in the world. What do you do now? The media (traditional and social) will destroy you anyway so try to make them go to your side. In the case of Camilla and Charles, they had their friends slip little morsels to the press. Charles was unhappy because Diana was crazy. Camilla was the only one who supported Charles and his heavy burden as would-be King while Diana was off partying and shopping. That sort of narrative.

As for Brangelina, the entertainment editors always called Jennifer to get her side but she was so hurt, she hid away. That's expected and that was gracious of her. But Angelina took advantage of this silence from Jen. If the media was going to feast on her life, she might as well give them what she wants - her side of the story. 

Why do I know this? Because I was an entertainment magazine editor during that time and at international conferences, we editors and publishers discussed how to help Jennifer but Angelina was charming the panties out of editors everywhere. She was relentless and irresistible. 

So if people are going to talk about you, you might as well give them something to talk about. Grant interviews. Send presents to the editors. Be everywhere - red carpets, talk shows - and be dazzling! Your name is now followed by "homewrecker" so do something about it and add more: queen of the red carpet, funny, charming, charitable, compassionate. More in the next tip... 

4. Put your very best foot forward.

So now you want to do a media blitzkrieg. What's the story you want out there? You want people to see beyond the homewrecker status. Let's see how Santa Angelina (that was her nickname, remember?) did it. She used all that attention to highlight her humanitarian efforts with the United Nations. She talked about the plight of refugees and orphans. She traveled to war zones, ramped up her conservation efforts, wrote books, was a guest speaker at important conferences. And you guys don't know this but we would get invitations to interview Angelina and be allowed to ask a personal question IF the focus of the article is her humanitarian efforts. So if you're wondering why many of the features on Angelina were glowing, this was why.

Camilla was amazing at this, too. Well, the couple actually hired a PR executive to help rehabilitate their image. First thing they had to do was get Camilla a charity. She supports osteoporosis, literacy, and many other charities but she also famously took on rape and sexual abuse - a cause most royals avoid. She was very active in helping victims of sexual abuse and advocating for their rescue and therapy. This was such a bold cause that British women (the ones who hated her most) fell in love with her.

So if you're a celebrity mistress, use all the unwanted attention for a good cause. Donate your time and money to charity. Because people hate perfection and if you present yourself as perfect and good but made the tragic mistake of falling for a married man, the world will like you better. A fallen angel, if you will.

5. Always present a united front.

And this was the best strategy of Brangelina and Charles and Camilla. They were always a pair from the start. They were so in love, you just couldn't ignore the force of their love - even if Jennifer and Diana were their roadkill. Terrible, I know. Marriage is sacred but all the world loves a lover, as they say. WTF, right?

So share family photos, especially if your children are cute because people love cute babies. Brangelina had 6! Camilla, meanwhile, was forgiven as soon as people saw her with Charles's boys, William and Harry. So always be seen together. Look happy. Look in love. Announce important events together. The birth of your child/ren, putting up a business, starring in a movie, getting engaged (never ever post a solo engagement photo). Don't ever do anything alone, dear kabit, because that reinforces the fact that you are not part of a family and that you broke apart one.

I know it looks like you're flaunting your sin and being a complete shameless hussy. But you already are anyway. So just own it but be humble and gracious about it. How to do that??? Well, look at Camilla and Angelina!

Every illicit affair gets lots of mileage.

So don't do it. It's evil. It's not worth it. 

It's the -ber months and y'all know what that means. It's Christmas! Well, technically, we still have a slew of holidays like Halloween, All Soul's Day, my birthday (hehe), Thanksgiving (if you do that), Black Friday sale (haha) before Christmas. But we Filipinos have started putting up the Christmas tree so it's officially the holidays! Today's guest post is all about a tough issue many Pinoy families go through - when parents are separated, where do the children spend their holidays?

As a journalist, I've interviewed many celebrities, business leaders, and society mavens. I love talking with them and getting them to spill their secrets. My not-so-favorite part, however, is transcribing the interviews. Totally hate my voice! So I was amazed to find out a few years ago that transcribing is a real job. As a freelancer now, I'm a member of a few Facebook groups for freelance agents. I thought I'd find writers and editors like me. I found that there were more virtual assistants, social media managers, and transcriptionists in these groups. Today's guest post is all about transcriptionists, in case you're a working woman who'd like to try out this career. Good luck!
When your profile is aligned with the keywords that are being searched, it becomes easy for the clients to discover your profile. With this, the chances of getting remote job assignments would increase drastically. 
There are many professional media networks that are made exclusively for people looking for assignments in the freelance industry. You can either choose to upload the same resume on your website or you can create another resume for these professional media network channels. Start building your own network.Remember to use the most significant keywords used by clients when they are looking for freelancers in the transcription industry. When your profile starts getting more views on these forums and platforms, you get more chances of potential clients striking a conversation with you regarding the assignment related to transcription. 

A few weeks ago, my eldest boy turned 10 years old. As with the quarantine birthdays of our kids this year, it was a simple affair. But this 10th birthday was a quieter party than the parties of his younger brothers. He just wanted to eat his simple chocolate cake, open his gifts, and then play video games all day. And that was his birthday. 

I thought, it being a double-digit birthday and therefore a milestone, that he'd ask for more. But he wouldn't even allow me to buy him a special cake. "Just the usual, Mama," he insisted. He's been like this since he was 7, asking for experiences rather than things. And when he does ask for things, they're not much. His Papa is the one who would buy more than what our eldest boy asks for. His Papa is always extra excited to shower gifts on his sons. And it's extra fun to give gifts to our first boy because he gets surprised at all the extra boxes he gets. 

But I gotta say I was a wee bit disappointed that we had a quiet celebration. Later on, I realized maybe I also wanted to celebrate me. It's not just my not-so-little boy who turned 10 years old. I'm celebrating a decade of being a mom, too. And you know how people throw over-the-top parties when their kids turn a year old and some people are like, "Gee, it's not like the baby will remember this party..."? Well, I know from all my over-the-top mommy friends that the party isn't for the baby really. It's for the mommy and daddy.

In a purple folder in my closet are all the letters Mama ever wrote me. A daughter only appreciates the words of her mother when she becomes a mother herself. I loved Mama's letters before but when I became a mommy, I always have to wipe away my tears because I read her words and my mama heart knows why she wrote them.  

Today, I want to share with you her prayer for me and my siblings when it comes to our life's work. This was very important to her. Mama was a working woman. She never wanted to get married or have kids. She just always wanted to work because work made her happy. 

I'm like her. But I don't want to end up like her - worked to the bone yet buried in debt, gave her all to her family yet we never fully appreciated her. 

I'm always assessing my life as a result. I don't mind not having the job of my dreams because I already had it, twice: a magazine editor in chief and a columnist (I think of my blog as one, although I did have a newspaper column before and I now have my Project Vanity column, too). 

I've shifted my mindset, just late last year actually. My new thinking is this: My real job right now is to be mommy. And everything I do that makes me money makes that important job possible. It's helped a lot in changing my attitude towards my children and all the projects I accept. I don't expect happiness to come with the job, because happiness is not the purpose of motherhood. My purpose is to raise my children to be good people, who will be independent and will find their own purpose in life and make a difference in the world - be that world big or small. But I do find joy (that's different from happiness!) in my work because I am working towards a purpose. 

I've also changed my mind towards my work. Before I'd be snobbish. Now, as long as it's legit and honest, it pays the bills, and won't compromise my real job (mommy!), I'll do it. Because I won't be a good mommy if my kids are hungry and if I'm not using the talents and skills God gave me. I still need to work because I am also more than mommy and I shouldn't neglect that huge part of me.

So! Let's go back to Mama's prayer. I'll transcribe it here:

Lord, 

Let their talents never be wasted, watered down by mediocrity, or used to glorify anything or anyone other than You, Lord. I pray that You would reveal to them what their life work is to be and help them excel in it. Bless the work of their hands and may they be able to earn a good living doing the work they love and do best. Your Word says that "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16). May whatever they do find favor with others and be well received and respected. But most of all, I pray that the gifts and talents You placed in them be released to find fullest expression in glorifying You. 

Amen. 

Wasn't that beautiful? I pray it over my children because that is now the cry of my heart. Bless my boys, O Lord. Bless us all. Amen.

There was an earthquake a few days ago. Totally freaked me out. I've lived in our high-rise for a loooong time so I've gone through many earthquakes but this last one scared me because I realized we can't just run out of our building; I have to make sure every child has a mask and face shield on first. Then an evacuation - and the crowds of shaken people - presents its own dangers, too, in the time of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Starter

Guess what? It's MY day today! And every parent who's teaching their kid this crazy year! And of course the day of real teachers everywhere. Dearest teachers, I think I'm doing a great job as Teacher Mama but I certainly know now I'd rather not do this haha You guys are the best!

We need to raise teachers' salaries everywhere. (Wait. I'm not even getting a salary.) Good heavens, what an insane occupation this is. But I'm going to claim this day as MY day. And I'm going to celebrate with a Cledor coffee ice cream bar. 

Are food processors blenders, just bigger?

So it's Day 200 of our GCQ/ECQ/MECQ/I don't know what it is anymore. Aaaaaaand I'm now at 130 lbs. Yep, I gained weight. I was actually losing weight at the start of quarantine. I was 130 lbs in January but I was 125 lbs by April. I was eating homecooked meals (well, we didn't really have a choice when quarantine started), exercising, biking, finally sleeping 8 hours. I felt great!

Then I became depressed. Remember when I told you how I've been? Ya. That happened. I was wallowing for around 6 weeks. Stopped exercising. Stuffed my mouth. Couldn't sleep. Even when I started feeling better, I just couldn't start exercising again and I couldn't stop eating. Considering all that, it's a miracle I only gained 5 lbs! (Big blessing - it's hard for me to gain weight.)

Then one day, I was scrolling through my Instagram and Welch's, my blog sponsor, had a post that reminded me I had fallen off the wagon. 

I may not be overly overweight but I realized that it's the last quarter of the year and I don't want to end the year the same weight - or heavier! - than when I started it. That would just be another reason 2020 sucks but this time it would be all MY FAULT! But I can always start fresh, as Welch's so wonderfully reminded me. 

So can you guys be my accountability partner? I'm going to start improving my health, my body, and my habits again. And here are the steps for self-improvement I need to take:

1. Wake up before my kids.

Because I sleep so late working on articles, preparing for homeschool lessons, and spending my much-needed alone time, I wake up later than my kids. They're fine - the boys eat their breakfast and start doing their chores. This is good, right? But as soon as I get up, they bombard me with "Mama, look at this! Mama, I did that! Mama, can I do this?" And to the groggy me, it's jarring and isn't really not the most calming way to start my day. I feel like I lose control of the day.

2. Meditate.

I started doing this in August, scheduling my Bible study every morning. I've been a Born Again Christian for 30+ years but meditating on God's Word is hard for me. And it still is! But around the second week, I started feeling excited about what I'm reading. I think it's because I'm older and I have a better perspective on life, faith, and God now.

3. Just drink water and healthy drinks.

At around June, I started drinking a lot of Coke, coffee, and milk tea. So bad! Even though I still drink water and Welch's 100% Grape Juice, their goodness was outbalanced by all the sugary and caffeinated drinks I was consuming. But since 2 weeks ago, I am now just drinking water, black tea, ginger and turmeric tea, and Welch's. I don't feel so bloated anymore!

Ever since my family started drinking Welch's around 3 years ago, we've slowly and then completely stopped drinking sugary powdered juices. Real fruit juice is naturally sweet anyway so adding sugar completely distorts how it tastes. Plus, you can't beat the Vitamin C and antioxidants, which not only help strengthen my immune system, it also keeps my skin clear and improves brain function. Definitely a must for a middle-aged woman like me!  

4. Go on the Smaller Portions diet!

I actually eat healthy. Almost all our meals are homecooked. There's almost always a salad or a vegetable dish on the table. My problem is I cook soooo well, I eat so much of my cooking! Oh dear! I love my cooking. My husband just said at dinner tonight, "You make the best tinola." And I do. But I end up eating maybe up to three platefuls of my cooking. It's terrible haha So I'll still prepare my yummy healthy meals but I really need to eat just one serving only! 

And of course, wash everything down with just water or Welch's grape juice because, as Livestrong.com says, "Those who drink 100 percent fruit juice, including grape juice, possess a lower mean body mass index, smaller waistline and lower insulin resistance."

5. Start exercising.

I tried a few times this September. I have exercise apps but what I like best are the walking videos of Leslie Sansone. I should do it more often! Pray for me haha. By the way, when I exercise, I drink just water or Welch's 100% Grape Juice. I don't need energy drinks because Welch's has tons of natural-sugar energy in it already. Plus, grape juice made from Concord grapes has a beneficial effect on the heart and blood pressure.

6. Spend less time on social media.

Facebook especially is a time-sucking monster. I sometimes get shocked that I start scrolling at 11pm and then it's suddenly 3am! My sleep suffers. My work suffers. My mental health suffers. Must really manage my time on Facebook. My plan is to set a timer - 30 minutes! - and follow it strictly. I can get so much done, I bet. All those saved hours I can use to sleep, exercise, read a book, paint, work!

7. Sleep!

Yes, sleep! It's the most neglected area of my life. Scary because studies show that consistently lacking sleep leads to lower immunity, higher risk for diseases, and early death. I haven't really been getting 7-9 hours of sleep for more than 10 years (thanks, motherhood). Such a bad habit.

I specifically chose these steps for their immediacy. I can do them without having to do anything big, like sign up for a skills class, or join a support group (I already have Lean In PH!), or buy a gym membership. Many times, we can't take that first step to improve ourselves because it takes a lot of work and the thought tires us out even before we start.

My list is simple and super doable. So I have no excuse. I'm really going to start these steps for self-improvement. I'll update you on my Instagram and blog my progress on my birthday next month. Wish me luck!

Source: "What are the benefits of Welch's Grape Juice?", Livestrong.com

*This post is brought to you by Welch's 100% Grape Juice. Welch's 100% Grape Juice, Juice Cocktails, and Sparkling Juices are available in all leading supermarkets, drugstores, and convenience stores. You can have your favorite health drink delivered right to your doorstep! Visit the Ace Food Service website, or place your order in the following online groceries: Metro Mart, Lazmart, and Waltermart.

I just put down this super interesting book, The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Modern Filipina's Handbook on How to Thrive Abroad. It's by Donna Avellana Künzler. She may have a foreign last name but she's Pinay through and through. Donna was born and raised in Cavite and took up accounting because all she ever wanted to be was a CPA like her dad. However, she became an Information Technology Auditor and Consultant instead. Her #ovfabpinay life started almost 20 years ago when she moved to Singapore for work. From there, she moved to the USA and then to my favorite city, London. Always because of work (how lucky is this woman?). She is now based in Switzerland, working for a Swiss global company, responsible for finance process governance and standardization in the finance organization. 

Donna's a new mommy to a baby girl and I really admire her because she was working, writing and producing a book, and making a baby all at the same time! That's amazing! I know this because - full disclosure - I helped edit the manuscript so my deadline was the most unusual in my editing career: I had to finish editing before Donna gives birth. And there's no pushing that deadline haha I was also working when I was in the delivery room with my first baby but I had already turned over most everything to my staff. A whole book is a whole different story. It's personal. It's also like a child. So for Donna to be working on her book and preparing to give birth is a whole new level of devotion.

The boys are excited about Halloween this year because they get to go trick-or treating because of our favorite Power Plant Mall. Wait. Isn't it bawal for kids to go out according to quarantine guidelines? Yes. You're right. Bawal lumabas ang mga bata ng bahay unless they're going to a medical facility so pleeeeeease keep your kids at home. 

My favorite style of house is the Mid-Century Modern (MCM). That is my ultimate dream house. I'm part of a few Facebook groups who are fans of this style and I've been learning a ton of stuff plus getting all these amazing photos of gorgeous houses. It's my happy place, these MCM Facebook groups! 
I can't say I love that wallpaper. I love its boldness but I don't like the colors particularly. I would go for something more colorful to frame the green trees seen from the square window smack in the center of the dining room wall. Then I'd choose chairs that are more sculptural. As for the dining table, I love it but I'd go for a stain that would match the kitchen cabinets.

Well, I didn't expect that Paris Hilton would make me cry. I just watched her documentary, "This is Paris" and it's intensely personal. I started it thinking I'd be watching something fun. Well, it has fun... colors. I can't do what she does. She is a workaholic, the woman behind a billion-dollar empire. And she's profoundly unhappy. This documentary says why. And wow. The why was a surprise!