Friday, August 30, 2024

In 5 Years

It's August 30, 2024. I'm 47 years old. I'm married to a novelist who also writes for a business title. We have three sons—14, 12, and 10. I have one published book and three works in progress. I'm a book editor and the co-founder of Lean In Manila, and my day job is as a communications manager.

Five years from now, on August 30, 2029, I will be 52. I hope to still be happily married (like we won't be sick or dead) to Vince, who will be 55. Our sons will be 19, 17, and 15. That means we'll still need to work because we'll still have students, the eldest a college freshman, the second graduating senior high school, and the youngest graduating junior high. Looooong way to go before retirement!


A lot can happen in 5 years. Why, 5 years ago, in August 2019, I was a PR manager with little boys. By October, I'd resigned and became a work-at-home mommy. I was an influencer, a freelance writer, and a PR consultant. By January, I had signed 2 clients - the big one in hotels and tourism. But by March, the pandemic happened so I lost that business. We homeschooled our kids. I got a fun job as an editor for a copy agency with fashion and beauty clients all over the world. I wrote my first book, Not Invisible, (thank you for your support!) and that made me so happy I resolved to come out with a book every 3-5 years.

So in 2020, I wrote a book. In January 2021, it was published and ranked #3 New Release on Amazon in its category. I gave myself the rest of the year to promote it. The whole of 2022 was going to be writing the next book so I'll have my second book by 2023, 2024. I had been on schedule but then 2023 happened and I was derailed. In between, I went international and contributed to Boy Moms, the book by TheBump founder, I was published in Mother magazine, and was a finalist in the non-fiction category of Women on Writing. Meanwhile, Vince's fifth book The End of All Skies was published by Penguin Random House SEA so I got busy promoting his novel, too. Then my book editor job was resurrected when I edited Justine Castellon's novels. 

Now, my life has always revolved around words - writer, magazine editor, blogger - but the last few years have been especially wordy and I love it! So yes, the last 5 years were crazy. Crazy good, crazy bad. But all I can think of is how grateful I am anyway. And that I'm looking forward to the next 5 years while praying they will be kinder.

I saw this post on Instagram a couple of weeks ago and I want to do this activity, if only so I could focus on my 5-year vision.


I plan to accelerate my life!


I'll blog it! And it took me more than 30 minutes (2 weeks!) but only because August was extremely busy that I couldn't find time to sit down for 30 minutes and think and write it down! But I finally have time today. Hooray!


All I want is to be happy, healthy, and with my husband and sons, writing and editing. So yeah, I have everything I want!

Where am I living? 
I'm still living here in our condo, where we've lived since we married in 2007. I really love where we live, but I want a major renovation. It really needs a total revamp. 

But there's a part of me that wishes we lived in The Arton near Katipunan. I want my kids to study near their college, which will of course be UP Diliman. After almost 30 years of meeting and working with many kinds of people from different schools, I am still convinced it's the best university in the country.

Who am I waking up to next? 
I actually sleep by myself. My husband doesn't like this but ever since I started perimenopause, I have had a hard time sleeping, especially when someone else is breathing beside me (husband or child). But when I'm on my own, I can fall asleep within minutes. So I weighed it: my marriage or my sanity? My marriage or my health? My marriage adjusted. We're still very happily married and very happily sexual despite sleeping apart. 

That said, I hope when this perimenopause hell is done and my hormones have calmed down and my sleep isn't so easily disturbed, I'd be waking up beside my husband again. Especially since it's so delicious to wake up with him. 

What does my house look like? 
I would like my house to look more stark. More bookshelves for my piles and piles of books and storage to hide all our mess. My kitchen will be smaller but more efficient and very white. Bathrooms will be more modern. The kids will have custom-built beds and closets. Our bedroom will also have custom-built shelves and closets. There will be better lighting. There will be speakers in the ceiling in every room so that I can listen to music properly. I've been leaning towards white and gray for a while now. I guess it's because my life is so busy that I want to be surrounded by blankness. But my husband likes color so this is never going to happen. He's already had to adjust to my sleeping preference.

Maybe I'll rent a studio and paint it all white, put a desk and a daybed there, line the walls with shelves for my books. Put up a watercolor painting corner and take up drawing and painting again. Another corner can be a podcasting station maybe. I also want a big table for all my unfinished projects. I can go there to think and write. And sleep.

Virginia Woolf wrote in A Room of One's Own that financial constraints and the prejudice of society have inhibited a woman's creativity. And yet, while I agree, millions of women, despite having no money, no time, no rest, and no support, continue to still create. It's infinitely easier to create without worrying over bills, security, and childcare, and yet we women persist. I believe that's what makes us such beautiful creatures.

What time do I start work? 
Well, if I still worked at Personal Collection, I'd start work at 8 AM. But if I had my way, I'd start work at 10. That means I'd either be busy with my resurrected writing and editing business (it's dormant now but I'm still filing taxes via Taxumo) or I'm writing my third or fourth book! 

What's on my calendar that day?
Let's see. August 30, 2029, is a Thursday. I'll probably be working and then cooking. Then I'll have dinner with my family and then read or write. Same old, same old. But that's okay.

Who am I working with?
If I'm still with PC, hopefully, I'd be working with the same team. I like them a lot. I'd also like Lean In Manila to be more prominent in my life by then. We haven't had time to do more with it but maybe in 5 years, we'd be doing monthly Circle Sessions and talks and workshops. 

I want to work with more words so that means I want to work with authors as their book editor. Or I'd be working with my publisher because I'd have my nth book by then! I also want to write for publications again so I'd be working with more editorial teams.  

What is my salary?
You know, if life weren't so expensive, I'd be happy teaching kids, writing books, blogging, serving coffee in a little library cafe that's been my dream to start. I'd even be okay with arranging bookshelves in a bookstore. So yeah, my kids would starve if I did that haha

I've done the math and we just need P200,000 a month to live comfortably. I honestly don't want more than that. But I'm not earning that yet. I don't know how to get there but if you're hiring and would like to offer me that, let me know!

How do I feel about my job?
Assuming I'm still with PC, I think I'll be doing okay. I actually really like my job. I just don't like the hours. If it were a 9-5, it would be perfect. It's an 8-6. As a mom and an author, that makes me unhappy. 

So if in 2029, I'm in a job that's 9-5 (but pays 200K??? hahahaha) or better yet, starts at 10am, I'd be very very happy!

I really should just restart my business. I was earning okay. But I got too old for the hustle and the running after clients who don't pay. I just couldn't deal with the indignities anymore.

What is my health like?
So I had a bad year last year. My physical and mental health suffered. This year, I started exercising and eating better. Still not exercising daily and I really should add more fruits and veggies to my diet and curb the carbs. But I've already lost 10 lbs! That was my year-end goal but I achieved it in 6 months! Yey me!

So in 5 years' time, I hope to be fit and healthy. I want to be 125 lbs (I'm 134 now). I want to be able to run and climb stairs without huffing. I want to be muscled and toned with clear skin, my cholesterol levels down, my periods over, and I'll just be a crazy, happy, gorgeous, bitchin' middle-aged woman!

How often do I travel?
Hopefully, never. You know, that is the most un-Filipino thing about me. I hate leaving my house. I intensely dislike traveling. I mean, I'd do it if I had to. Like, if I'm forced to do it because it's a job or a wedding or something family-related. Okay, fine, I like traveling for work. And only for work. I hate traveling for leisure. So in 5 years' time, if I am traveling, I'm only doing it for my kids. Or family. Or work.


Why, no, everything I wrote I know about me, but I was surprised that I publicly admitted to hating traveling! 


I'm definitely adding to the working with others part. I've been itching to do collaborations again and meeting new people again and just working on something that isn't my job.


This is true! I've always had a crisply detailed vision of my future. Even when the kids stampeded over it and motherhood and my corporate job kinda drown me with all their might. My head bobs up from the waters of duty and I still see that the one thing I really want to do in my life is write. It's always been the shining beacon, the one thing that saved me from poverty, that got me my husband, that gave me a happy career, that kept me from going insane when my mental health suffered, and it's still the one thing that makes me completely happy. Life may get in the way but I also know I'll always steer myself back to writing. Now I just need to figure out how to make writing make me big bucks!

And that's what this whole exercise achieved! I realized I need to make writing make me not just happy and fulfilled but also make me lots of money! And this is our cue to laugh ourselves silly hahaha  

Well, this was a fruitful exercise. I'm giddy now! Let the planning begin!

I wrote my way outWrote everything down far as I could seeI wrote my way outI looked up and the town had its eyes on me

I wrote my way out of hellI wrote my way to revolution

Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it (I'll write my way out)Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it (write everything down, far as I can see)Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait (history has its eyes on you)
I'll write my way outOverwhelm them with honesty
- "Hurricane," Hamilton
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Sunday, July 07, 2024

10 best Wattpad stories on my reading list

I've been waiting to write a best Wattpad stories post for years! So this post is dedicated to dear Loyal Reader Sharon, who wrote: "Do you still read fiction? I used to read voraciously until the start of my 40s and then my appetite for fiction just waned. The few books I read these days are comfort reads."

Hi Sharon! Yes, I'm reading fiction. It's all I read now and as much as I'd like to say I read only award-winning literature or classic tomes or books that elevate the mind or the soul, I'm going to be shamelessly honest and say my literary tastes now lean towards novels that make me giggle with kilig or stimulate the nether regions. 

And my favorite place to get these stories is from Wattpad. Yes, I'm addicted to Wattpad. My husband doesn't understand it. I don't think I do either. Many of the stories are crap. Nearly all of them are unedited, grammatically tragic, and poorly constructed... but they are addicting! Just this year alone, I've already read 37 books, 32 on Wattpad! But, don't worry, not all of them are smut haha 

Another thing I like about Wattpad is the comments. You can comment on every paragraph which makes reading a community thing. My husband doesn't like that. Reading is a solitary pursuit, he says. Well, Wattpad changed that for me. It's just as addicting to see everyone's reactions and thoughts to the story as it unfolds!

My guiltiest pleasure is werewolf romance. I can't stop reading those! But while it's a genre that is staggeringly popular, I know that's not everyone's cup of tea so I'll also share the werewolf novels that are not so steeped in the lore. They're the most human-like love stories so you won't get too weirded out haha. I'll share my top 3 faves at the end of this post. Lemme start my best Wattpad stories list with with the sweet human stories...


#1 The Player Next Door by BabyInACorner is my super favorite! It's hilarious! You MUST read it! This is the book that inspired me to write a novel! In fact, my main female character is named Millie, too. 

So anyway, The Player Next Door is all about ordinary Millie who lives next door to school celebrity athlete Luke. A comedy of errors finds them stuck in the same cabin in summer camp and one thing leads to another and they become... friends. Haha! This is such a sweet, slooooow-burn romance that when they finally kiss, my goshness, it's so satisfying. 

52.5 million reads

But! This is just Book 1 of a trilogy. The second book, Play No More, explores their relationship as a new couple. It's so funny, too! The third book, Play the Part, is still being updated. I haven't started reading it. I'm waiting for Natalie (that's the author's name) to finish before I start. And also I kinda don't want to start it because then the Luke & Millie love story will end. I can't say goodbye yet!


#2 Love, Anonymous by Liz Plum is such a sweet, sweet book about Reagan who thinks she's nobody special. In fact, obnoxious Hayden keeps annoying her as a hobby. But she can't get bothered by him too much because she's consumed by the fact that she keeps getting letters from a secret admirer. Who could it be?

Super cute and super readable! Makes me want to get love letters again!

10.8 million reads


#3 Silently Falling by Liz Plum is a story about healing from trauma. Raine has selective mutism, a coping mechanism when she was raped at age 14. Family and friends form a protective wall around her so that it never happens again. But it also prevents her from finding love. Until really persistent West makes it loud and clear he wants to know everything about the silent girl. 

This is such a good story. At first, you're scared for Raine, especially since West has a bad-boy rep. But the slow wooing, the way they're so delicate around each other, the way they protect each other, really wins you over.  

44.2 million reads


#4 The Upside of Falling by Alex Light explores what happens when shy girl Becca who's never had a relationship and Brett the school hottie who can never keep one pretend to be a couple. At first, it was just a mutually beneficial arrangement. But when the line between fake and real blurs with all those kisses and deep conversations, what's a guy and a girl going to do? It's really sweet! So so cute. This is also available on Amazon already so if you want a paperback instead, order now!

48.1 million reads


#5 When It Rains in Ocala by WriterBug44 is a sweet whirlwind romance between Maggie and Evan. I can't talk about this book because I'll give everything away. I can't even say what it made me feel because I'll spoil it. But please read it. But don't read the comments section because the spoilers abound there. It's just the sweetest romance. Evan must be the most perfect guy in the world. This love story is breathtaking in its tenderness. 

3.4 million reads


Are we ready for some hot sex? Well, #6 Sleeping with My Best Friend by Shelly Titan is the book for you. It's about Berkley who's oh so ready to get rid of her virginity, but every guy she knows is a douchebag. So who better to do it with than with the guy who loves her but not in a romantic way? The guy who can teach her things and she'll feel safe to explore her sexuality but with no strings attached? The guy that's her best friend since birth, Dean? But Dean thinks sleeping with his best friend is a bad idea. However, after circumstances convince them it's a good idea, they finally give it a go. And woah, what a go! 

What I really like about this is the sex was how my husband and I have sex. I mean, we have fun. All the erotica I've read is overly passionate but the sex scenes between Berkley and Dean are so fun. They chat, they giggle. I think that's what sex should be like! Fun! Read it!

2.7 million reads


#7 Pirouette by The Biblical Sinner is a fast-paced romance that develops between Fiona, a ballerina, and Adam, a boy who dances to escape his hellish world. I like this story because usually in romance novels, it's the guy who's aloof and cold. Adam is a total sweetheart. He's so friendly and wonderful that his tragic backstory hurts. Seeing Fiona warm up and relax and then fall in love with him is totally believable because Adam is worthy of love. And some hot sex! And again, I like the sex here because it's between two people who love and trust each other. It's safe and sweet. Read it!

1.7 million reads

So now let's get to my favorite genre, werewolf romance. Okay, here's what you need to know. Werewolves are soul-mated to one other special creature by the moon goddess. It's a bond that is so strong that when you finally meet your mate, it's love at first sight forever. That means the best werewolf stories are about those who fight that bond!

Which is why #8 Monster by KrystleLight is my favorite werewolf romance novel! It's not too werewolf-y so if you want to give this genre a try, start with this. This story is about Kaea who doesn't understand why Kyle, the heir to the Alpha position, hates her so much. He has bullied her constantly for years, making her resolve to leave their pack as soon as she finishes school and be rid of this monster. Only to find out that her mate is none other than Kyle!

Okay, this is a bullying story and Kyle is really an asshole. But the author does such a wonderful job of redeeming him. His change is believable. In fact, you'll fall in love with him at the same time Kaea does! And when she gets confused between her future outside the pack or by Kyle's side as his Luna, even you'll feel anguish at what choice to pick! 

1.8 million reads

#9 The Wallflower Mate by Leila Vy is cute and also steamy. I don't know how the author did it. There's a perfect balance between the passionate attraction of newfound love and the sweet ordinariness of a couple. Mary wants to find a mate (yep, no moon goddess destiny here) and she takes matters into her own hands by kissing a stranger at a mating ball. Unfortunately (or fortunately!), that stranger is the fearsome Alpha Ryker, who was so surprised at the kiss that he just had to have more. And oh boy, did he get more!   

4 million reads


#10 Finding Home by AE Bennet explores what it feels like when a second chance at love presents itself to Paige and Nathan. Many things have changed in the 5 years since their romance ended, but is the love the same? Spoiler alert: No. It's even better! I love how the story takes time to work through all their issues and heal their heartbreak. The reconciliation is deserved. 

3 million reads

Aaaaand that's my 10 best Wattpad stories list! I have a gazillion more books in my Wattpad reading list and I wish I could do a book review of them all. But anyway, this was so fun to write! Lemme know if you read Wattpad, too, and if you do, drop your recommendations in the comments! 

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Saturday, July 06, 2024

Life lately

This post is dedicated to dear Loyal Reader Camella, who wrote me: "Thanks for your blog about how your 2023 was. You're so brave to share how difficult it was. I'm also going through a lot and my mental health is suffering so seeing you on the other side of this darkness is inspiring me that things really will get better. My question is how is your 2024? Are you really better?"

Hi Camella, yes, this year is definitely much better in every single way. Thank you for asking! Let's list down what's improved:

  • I've adjusted to work and I'm doing great on the job and with my co-workers. 
  • My family and I have adapted to our new schedule that revolves around work and school, although I wish we could find more time to clean up the house, exercise, and go have fun - but we're exhausted kapag weekends! 
  • I've lost 10 lbs. so from 144, I'm now down to 134 but I should be around 125 so 10 more lbs to go!
  • I'm managing my asthma and my cholesterol levels okay.
  • Mental health is waaaaaay better. No more anxiety and depression, although perimenopause symptoms of palpitations, nervousness, brain fog, painful joints, hot flashes, et al are still plaguing me. But I'm riding them, not fighting them anymore.     
With everything better, life lately has been more relaxed and stress-free for me. I'm still busy and so tired, but I now have mental space to appreciate the good things in my life. Like family and friends. I've started seeing wonderful people again! And it's always good to have relationships. I don't feel so isolated. Let me share a few photos!

This is Martine and Jean. I haven't seen Marts (in pink) since way before the pandemic so it was so nice to see her again, happy, healthy, thriving. I know a lot of you followed her when she and I were mommy bloggers so let me tell you she's in a good place.

Jean (with our other friend Dix) is my fellow royal watcher and we obsess over William and Kate, Charles and Camilla, and Harry and Meghan. We also scrutinize politics and religion, high society, and celebrities. Jean and Dix are very intelligent people, but then all my friends are. I have my business friends, my faith friends, my writer friends... I make sure I surround myself with people who fascinate me. What makes Jean and Dix special is they're the only ones I can gossip with! I knoooow. Gossip is for simple minds supposedly, but gossiping with them is so stimulating because there's always an insight into humanity and its goodness and cruelty. We don't always agree with each other but it's okay. I always feel safe with them.


Here's a table of lawyers, a judge, professors, and writers! This was a special dinner at Jude and Karen's home. Discussions about the government, books, pen collections, writing, and more. But we're all old so we left while the night was still young.


I've really been going out with friends this year. I saw my old friend, Kate. You''d know her as the fashion designer, but now she's pursuing her real love, music. And she's become an award-winning writer! So proud of Kate!


Here's a table of creatives! This is the Communications and Advertising Division of Personal Collection, where I work. They're funny and sweet and just really nice! And efficient. I like working with them a lot.


And here's my family! The Amper family side. With Ding Dong Dantes haha. This was a dinner celebrating birthdays and graduation/moving up, and just being alive and healthy. I enjoyed it a lot. I'm so glad I have my brother and sister. 

Oh, if you have an upcoming event and would like to have good music, book The Manila String Machine!

I'm not always out, by the way. But I do try to carve time out of my schedule to see people at least once a month. Touch base, catch up, unwind. Otherwise, I'll just be caught up in the drudgery of cooking, cleaning, and chores.


This year is all about self-care. Last year, I was so depressed that it took so much willpower to shower. So now I make it a point to care for my body because when my body looks and feels good, my mind feels not so bad anymore. So I also try to set aside time and money for the salon or for little gifts for myself like perfume and books.


I have read so many books, by the way! That has also helped my mental health. Just getting lost in other people's stories distracts my mind. That's my next blog post - I'm publishing it tomorrow!

I should be writing my novel, though. I started it June 2022. Two years later and I'm still stuck at 25,000 words. And I've changed my mind on the plot, too! I'm still writing it - not with words, sure, but it consumes my imagination all the time. So I hope I can finally take them out of my imagination and down on paper! 

Oh, and as a writer, I have a bit of good news. 

So yes, I am feeling so much better! If in 2023, my mantra was survive, in 2024, it's thrive! This year is so good to me. I'm very happy. Thank you so much for asking, Camella. Now I wrote about it and now I'll always have this post to remind me of such a delightful time. 
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Friday, July 05, 2024

5 Important Money Tips for First-Time Job Seekers

Your first job will be a significant milestone and will mark the beginning of an important new phase in your life. But amidst the thrill of earning their own income, many first jobbers get overwhelmed with the prospect of managing their funds for the first time. You yourself may be unsure of how to manage your salary effectively, especially if you haven’t had prior experience budgeting for monthly expenses or dealing with financial obligations such as rent, bills, and loan repayments. Moreover, the allure of newfound financial freedom inevitably brings about the temptation to overspend or to make impulse purchases, which in turn makes it all the more challenging for you to stay within budget and prioritize your savings.

As a new income earner, it’s important to know what to do with your salary and how to set a precedent for good financial habits down the line. Without proper guidance, you may fall into the most common pitfalls that will hinder a new professional’s financial progress. The key to building a strong financial foundation for yourself and achieving your long-term financial goals lies in learning how to handle your income responsibly. You’ll want to avoid costly financial mistakes early on and set yourself up for a brighter financial future as you climb up the professional ladder.


To help you navigate the complexities of personal finance and make the smartest decisions about your hard-earned money, here are some important money tips to consider.

1) Open a Savings Account

One of your first steps towards financial stability should be to open your own savings account. This should be your designated place to store your savings, and it should allow you to build a financial cushion for your future needs.

When choosing a bank and account type, consider factors such as interest rates, fees, accessibility, and additional features like online banking and mobile app access. Your search for the ideal savings account product doesn’t have to stop with traditional banks; why not open an account with Maya, the top digital bank in the Philippines? You’ll be able to enjoy competitive interest rates up to 15% p.a. and a zero maintenance balance to maximize your savings, plus neat features like Maya Personal Goals for allotting your income towards goals like saving up for a new vehicle or your dream vacation. Saving, spending, and earning more wealth across your professional career will be easy from a unified and reliable platform like Maya.

You can also set up regular automatic transfers from your salary account to your savings account. This will ensure consistent savings each payday and mitigate your temptation to spend a big chunk of your paycheck.

2) Be Aware of Your Paycheck Deductions

Once you start receiving your paychecks, you’ll soon realize that your salary comes with deductions. Take the time to review your pay stub and familiarize yourself with each deduction, including the specific amounts and what they cover.

In the Philippines, common deductions include taxes, Social Security System (SSS) contributions, Pag-IBIG Fund contributions, and PhilHealth contributions. Learn about the paycheck deductions you’ll typically receive to better budget your take-home pay and to avoid being caught off guard by unexpected deductions. If you have questions or concerns about your deductions, don't hesitate to reach out to your company’s HR or finance department for clarification.

3) Devise a Monthly Budget

Creating a budget is key to managing your finances effectively and ensuring that you're living within your means. Start by assessing your income, including your base salary and any additional sources of income such as bonuses or commissions. Next, identify your fixed expenses, including rent, utilities, insurance premiums, and loan payments. Then, determine your variable expenses, like groceries, transportation, entertainment, and discretionary spending.

From here, allocate a portion of your income towards savings and investments to ensure future financial security and to work towards achieving your financial goals. Also consider using budgeting apps or tools to help you track your expenses, monitor your progress, and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your budget.

4) Commit to Controlling Your Spending

It's easy to get carried away with your newfound financial freedom, which makes it all the more essential to control your spending. After creating a working budget for yourself, take time to understand your spending habits and identify areas where you can cut back. You can also set spending limits for each expense category based on your budget and stick to them rigorously.

Try to avoid impulse purchases and unnecessary expenses by practicing mindful spending habits, such as making a shopping list before going to the grocery store and waiting 24 hours before making a non-essential purchase to curb quick impulses to buy.

5) Build an Emergency Fund

Even if you’ve just recently become employed, it’s a good idea to start building a substantial emergency fund as soon as possible. You never know how soon you’ll need a safety net for unexpected expenses or financial emergencies, such as medical bills or car repairs.

One common recommendation is to aim to save at least three to six months' worth of living expenses in your emergency fund to cover these essential costs and to maintain your financial stability during difficult times. You can start small by setting aside a portion of your income each month and gradually building up your emergency savings over time.

You could also set up a separate savings account specifically for your emergency fund to prevent it from being used for non-essential expenses and to ensure that it's easily accessible when needed.

And just because my friend Trixie Esguerra Bugia is behind this video, I'm going to share it so you can #GetBankedWithMaya! 
 

In the first few months of your entry into the workforce, remember that managing your finances effectively is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Follow these essential money management tips, and you'll be on the right track toward financial independence and prosperity.

*Photo by Resume Genius on Unsplash


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Sunday, May 19, 2024

Yummy recipes made from leftovers

My family does not like leftovers. So I try to cook ulam that's just enough for all five of us. But sometimes there are still leftovers. Ang hina talaga namin kumain!
 
So the leftovers don't get eaten and then on weekends, I clean out the ref and I find forgotten leftovers of I don't even remember when I cooked them and of course, I throw them away. It is a terrible thing to throw away food kahit na it's not a lot of food. Madalas it's just a half-eaten chicken nugget or a cup of spaghetti sauce or two matchbox-sized pieces of adobo pero wala ng sabaw. Yung tipong "Isang kagat na lang, hindi pa inubos," or "Nahiya pa sa last piece!"

To minimize throwing out perfectly good food, I have a few ideas on recycling leftovers:

These are pizzas my sons made out of leftover spaghetti sauce, hotdogs and chicken nuggets.

I used leftover rice to make this cheesy chicken and rice casserole. Recipe here.

I used leftover rice and chicken to make this delicious risotto. Recipe here.

Leftover spaghetti noodles can be used for chicken noodle soup.

Cook leftover lechon, which is mabilis mapanis, into yummy lechon kawali.

With jam, peanut butter, cookie butter or Nutella, we turn bread crusts into tasty rolls.

Crumble leftover chocolates onto ice cream for added texture and flavor.

How about you? What do you do with leftovers?

*This is a post from my now-unpublished blog, Topaz Mommy.
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Sunday, May 12, 2024

I'll always be special

I love this video of an experiment involving blindfolded kids picking out their moms in a lineup. Using just touch and smell, the kids all accurately picked out their mamas.


I remembered this documentary I watched a long time ago, on emperor penguins coming back from the ocean, their tummies full of fish. On a vast expanse of ice, thousands of baby penguins wait, and they're all the same kind of fluffy and white, and I thought there's just no way the parents can find their baby. But they do, they do. They find their very own!

I love how special each mommy felt. How unique and how loved!

But did you also feel each mommy's apprehension that their child won't recognize them? I did. I felt the real fear behind the worry. How many of us moms think that we're all taken for granted, pushed to the side, hidden in the background, always in the supporting role, forgotten, unappreciated, unseen?

I feel that sometimes! But that's silly really. I must never forget that I'll always be incredibly special to three precious boys and their Papa. And that's more than enough for me. Really. That's more than I deserve, and I am grateful.

Happy Mother's Day, mamas! Thank you for all that you do. We're not invisible. They know what we do and they love us. Remember that!


*This is a repost from my now-unpublished blog, Topaz Mommy!

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Sunday, May 05, 2024

Tanglad tea is good for everybody

Let's make tanglad tea! For you Thai food aficionados, that's lemongrass tea!

So off I went to the market and bought some tanglad leaves. And here's a photo essay on how to make some:
Wash leaves. You can steep it in white vinegar if you like.

Cut leaves into 1-inch sections.

Bring water to a boil.

Oh, this is just a pretty shot. Love all those green hues!

Boil leaves for 5 minutes. Turn off heat. Then steep for
5 to 15 minutes. It depends on how strong you want the tea.

Serve with calamansi and honey!

Easy! Vince loves lemongrass tea. I should always remember to make pitchers of this! I strongly recommend that you brew this tea for your family, too. With all the health benefits, this is one refreshing drink you and your family will most definitely enjoy.

*This is a post from my now-unpublished blog, Topaz Mommy.

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Monday, April 29, 2024

I have lived in the goodness of God

Wow, I blinked, and it's already the end of April! How did that happen? This year is going so fast, so before I blink again and find it's already Christmas, let me tell you about last year. 

My horrible year. My blessed year. 

Yes, it can be both things at once and I hope one day, when it doesn't feel like a fresh wound anymore, I will only see 2023 as blessed. 

Handa na ba kayo? I don't think I am. So I think this will be a rambling post. It's a year I'd rather forget, that's why I hardly blogged last year. That's also why I'm having a hard time telling you about it. I'm still processing.

Everything actually began months before, in 2022, when I had menorrhagia. I had to have all these checkups and tests and finally a D&C. All that was an unexpected expense so I realized I needed health insurance and a regular source of income. Then nung pandemic, nag-homeschooling kami but yung panganay ko, gustong bumalik sa school so we enrolled him na. He was happy to be back in school and medyo nainggit mga kapatid niya and so we all agreed that in 2023, babalik sila sa brick-and-mortar school. Kaso ang mahal ng tuition. Hindi na kaya ng income namin - my husband's job as editor and mine as freelance writer and editor for a content agency. I loved that job because our clients were fashion and home decor. So easy and so fun. Unfortunately, I was paid by the hour... and I worked fast. 

So I started applying. That was not a happy time for my ego. I kept getting rejected or offered a low salary, but I figured it was okay since I was still homeschooling my two younger sons. The plan was to finish the school year (that's May) and get a job in June. But then in December, an offer came along with a higher-than-average compensation package. I couldn't say no so I got the job, very exciting, and I started work in January.

My office desk

It was supposed to be a good thing, right? But I didn't anticipate the huge shock reemployment was going to be to my system. I've been a work-at-home mommy for 10 years and then quarantine meant I had my sons with me 24/7. Suddenly, I was away for 11-12 hours. I suffered from withdrawal like you cannot believe. I was crying every day of January. Literal na umiiyak ako sa MRT, sa office and then pagdating sa bahay, iyak ulit, then iyak bago matulog. In fact, I cried till September. No joke. Hindi na naman araw-araw, siguro weekly na lang. I was that miserable. It took me so long to get used to not being with my family.

That working-mom guilt? I now know what it feels like. I never felt it before because I worked from home. Now, I'm endlessly plagued by the thought I'm not a good mother. I'll tell you just one incident of several but this was the one that iniyakan ko talaga. Near the end of the school year last year, so in May, liniligpit ko yung school shoes ng anak ko when I noticed sira na shoes niya. I asked him kelan pa and he said mga one month na siguro. Sabi ko bakit di niya agad sinabi and he said, "Because you're busy, Mama."

Naiiyak na naman ako typing this. Hindi ko man lang napansin. For a whole month! And isn't that what makes us good mothers? Our ability to notice everything? To anticipate needs, to be alert to the slightest cough, to swoop in before disaster strikes. Hindi ko man lang napansin. 

Now I know some of you will say I don't have to do this. Well, my kids want to go to school. They don't want to be homeschooled anymore. So here we are. 

Anyway, new job, new life arrangements, new everything - that's what was happening outside me. I'm usually okay with external forces. Anyone who knows me knows I can be a bad bitch when it comes to challenges. I always have a "Bring it!" attitude. I call it my "invincible summer."


Unfortunately, internal forces were at play, too. I was going through perimenopause (let's do a whole 'nother post on that!) and I had begun a hormone treatment for my menorrhagia. I was in hormone hell. Still am actually but my treatment is over so I'm feeling lots better. That invincible summer? Gone. I was suffering anxiety and crazy mood changes. I was worried all the time. Afraid, stressed out. And did I tell you I cried all the time? Baka kasi di ko nasabi na umiiyak ako for 9 months.

It was so illogical and very unlike me. I have been through worse things in my life. An unsafe childhood. An abusive relationship in college. Job losses. Theft. The deaths of my parents. But I was never this deeply unhappy. For what??? If you take away my feelings, ang ganda kaya ng buhay ko. Good job, good home, great family, getting-better health. 

Some days I was happy. Most days I was sad. Some days I was fun. Most days I was a miserable mess. So it was a tough year for me and my family because we never quite knew which me they'd get on any given day. 

Then just for fun, I took this online test and... SURPRISE!

https://patient.info/news-and-features/quiz-am-i-depressed

And here I thought I was just going mad and being ungrateful. 

I talked to a few friends about this. My sister recommended her therapist. My husband knew, too, of course. But he was also going through a bad time. Not my story to tell but it was hard for us because we were both drowning and we couldn't rescue each other. 

On top of all that, I got ugly. My hormone treatment made me break out into huge pimples. Chin, jaw, cheeks, nose, temples, eyebrows. Stress made me gain 12 lbs. Perimenopause made my hair frizzy and my skin itchy. My cholesterol skyrocketed and xanthelasma appeared under my eyes. It was bad enough I felt ugly inside, but ugly outside, too? 

Without makeup. This was in December when I actually looked better!

Like I said, it was a bad year.

And yet, I don't want to think too badly of 2023. 

It was my youngest boy's first time in a big school. He started going to chess club, too. My eldest boy graduated from grade school and then he entered high school. I started seeing friends and family again. We went to Manila Zoo, Dreamplay, Manila Ocean Park. I finally got Covid but I didn't die - it was just a bad headache and a loss of smell and taste. I've suffered worse with ordinary coughs and colds. Lean In Manila had its first face-to-face event. And despite my husband and I struggling with our separate issues, together we were fine.  

So 2024, I believe you'll be better! I already feel better so that's a start. With my hormone treatment done, my pimples have subsided so I look better, too. I'm getting my cholesterol and asthma under control. I'm not crying at work anymore because I really do like my job. I just couldn't appreciate it last year with everything else going on. 

So what got me through 2023? Listening to these songs on repeat:


My co-workers hear me singing this all the time. And when I get to this part, nagdadasal talaga ako for deliverance:

I just want to speak the name of Jesus
Over fear and all anxiety
To every soul held captive by depression
I speak Jesus

'Cause Your name is power
Your name is healing
Your name is life
Break every stronghold
Shine through the shadows
Burn like a fire


I lived through 2023. I am alive and getting better. My family and my friends helped, but most of all, it truly was God who saw me through. I don't think I've ever prayed so much and so often in my life in a year that was, in all appearances, a wonderfully blessed year that I couldn't appreciate because of my hormones. My hormones are still there, wreaking havoc on my body and mind, but I'm taking it one day at a time. I really really hope I've gone through the worst of this perimenopause, but please pray for me anyway. I want to keep living in the goodness of God because He should be my invincible summer, the something stronger and better pushing right back at all the darkness.  



P. S. 
If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of depression or other mental health conditions, please seek the advice of a qualified mental health professional. That's another reason I hesitated to tell you this story because my faith and these worship songs, while they helped me, are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 
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