Wednesday, May 02, 2018

When to turn your hobby into a business

This month marks my blog's 12th birthday. Twelve years I've been blogging, folks! Actually, it should be 13 years because I started blogging on Friendster in 2005 then moved to Blogger and got a proper blog name in May 2006.

Blogging started as a hobby—a very fun hobby, too! But in 2008, I was invited by Nuffnang to join other bloggers all over Asia for a bloggers conference in Singapore. I couldn't believe what I saw there. The bloggers from Singapore, for example, were living lavish lifestyles sponsored by many brands. Meanwhile, the Pinoy bloggers I was with (Alodia Gosiengfiao, Anton San Diego, Ramon Bautista, Hannah Villasis, and more) all told me how they earned from their blog. I just couldn't understand it then but that really was the push that made me decide on monetizing my blog.

Pretend blogging haha for a photo shoot for Biogenic Alcohol.

And here we are! It's 2018. My blog started earning serious money in 2013. Enough to be my family's main source of income for the last 5 years. To say I'm grateful that a little hobby has turned into a massive blessing is an understatement! 

If you're a mama who hopes to start a business but doesn't know where to start, you can start with your hobbies! Who knows, right? Anyway, I wrote this article for now-defunct website, Juana.com.ph. I hope it helps you!

* * * * * * *

Hello, my name is Frances and I’m a professional blogger. Yes, by professional, I mean it’s a real job. My blog is registered with the DTI and the BIR, I have official receipts, and I pay my many taxes. What was once an enjoyable hobby is now a legitimate income-generating venture. I never would’ve thought that this would happen when I started my blog—with the fancy-shmancy name of TopazHorizon.com, no less—more than ten years ago. If I had known it was going to become a big business, I’d have given my blog name more thought!

That’s the thing with any hobby—you start it for your own personal pleasure, not because you’re thinking of how it can make you money. So what do you do when it becomes bigger than you expect? Should you turn it into a business? Here’s how to tell when a hobby should become a business: 

Sharing my finds is part of being a mom blogger. It's not always easy to blog about. Sometimes it requires weekends hunting for things and also actually building stuff so that my readers can really get the low down on the stuff I find! 

When you’re spending a lot of time on it
Hobbies are usually the things we do when we can find pockets of time away from our hectic schedules. But when it starts eating up your day, you should consider earning from it. After all, what is it they say? “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” If you can make your hobby earn money, then not only will you look forward to work every day, you also won’t hear your family and friends complaining about you spending too much time on your knitting or baking or surfing! 

Bridal fashion designer and floral bouquet entrepreneur Michi Calica-Sotto may already have a lot on her plate but her love for stand-up paddling [SUP] gave her more ideas. “I spent at least three times a month, [from] 8am to 5pm, paddling. Other weeks it was more. Two weekends a month in Anilao,” she said of her devotion to her hobby. “I also spent two hours a day searching the internet for news on SUP, say, where next to paddle, new gear, forums.” 

With all that time Michi spent on stand-up paddling, she decided she should use that time earning money, too. Hence, her business selling equipment like boards, paddles, and leashes. She also offers tours and classes on SUP.

When you’re spending a lot of money on it
I started blogging because it didn’t cost a thing. As a writer and editor, I already had a computer and an internet connection. But as I became more serious with blogging, I began investing in good cameras, buying clothes for #OOTDs, and spending a lot on Uber attending events. Hobbies can be an expensive pastime!

Michi agrees. She lists the initial costs of SUP: “A board is P60,000, a paddle is P8,000, and a leash is P1,600. Of course there were the outfits at P20,000. Then we must count the overnight stays in the beach, about P10,000 at a time.” She accedes, “I realized my hobby did cost a little something, so it was wise to make some money to sustain it, later on to really promote this sport, as it is the fastest growing sport in the world. SUP is in the rise in our country.”

I wanted my blog to earn money because attending events costs a lot of money! Pamasahe pa lang, ang gastos na!

When there’s no one else who seems to be doing it
Some hobbies are specialized. You can either relish being one the few people who can enjoy it or you can see this as an opportunity to make money! For Tab Abad, it wasn’t really a hobby but an obsession with being well-groomed that pushed her to start her waxing business. As a young girl, Tab enjoyed keeping herself neat. “I love grooming. Growing up, I always had a kikay kit. I’m very hairy so you can imagine my arms! I would always make the hair straight so it does not look magulo. As young as 14, I was already threading my brows, the hair in between. In fact I would always tell the girl at the salon, ‘Just clean it, don’t give it a shape,’ because what do they know of shaping that time? I just want everything neat and orderly.” 

Tab was able to enjoy being neat and orderly when she worked at cosmopolitan Jakarta, which had grooming salons. Until she realized she wanted to go back home. “But going back home meant I would miss all these services I was doing in Jakarta,” she said. “So I decided to ask the franchise of the business for Manila because I needed to make sure I would have some place I can go to for the rest of my life. This I know would make me happy!” 

It also made her lots of money. Tab put up The Strip and Browhaus, a string of successful waxing and grooming salons, at a time when no one was talking about specific grooming services. Everyone either went to a big salon or did hair removal themselves. Tab said, “This was one way to help generate opportunity. Opportunity wherein one would not need to go abroad for greener pastures... Back then, there was hardly any niche or service-specific salon. These services were always taking a back seat in salons, and those that tried still didn’t have that international quality to make it really good and fantastic.” Seeing that no one was offering what she wanted, Tab created a business that catered to her needs. Filipinas who loved a hairless smoothness thanked her forever after that! 

I finally gave blogging workshops because people kept asking me for advice!

When your family and friends and their friends start asking you about it
Some hobbies are so fascinating or require a unique skill that people can’t help but notice it... and want it, too. Anna Chavez never thought her childhood hobby of “lettering” and doodling was going to become a business. While in the thick of her corporate job, Anna took up the pen more seriously. “A few years ago, around 2014, I suddenly realized I missed having a creative outlet so I started to immerse myself in the craft again.” She became so good at calligraphy that her family and friends saw an opportunity for her to earn from it. “It was my cousin, Ghia Pastoral—owner of The Write Impression, which I think is the best invitation and stationery supplier in the country!—who gave me the idea and encouraged me to put my hobby to good use. In early 2015, she started giving me clients for envelope addressing and referred me to her clients along the way.” 

With clients lining up for her services, Anna took the plunge. “It was the most opportune time since I was planning to quit my corporate job of 13 years and finally be a work-at-home mom. So together with my own accounting business, which I also started in 2015, I decided to make calligraphy a full-time job.” 

When you’re consistently earning from it
Last but most telling of all is the money your hobby is making you. Some hobbies make money for a season, like during the holidays when enterprising moms would bake extra goodies or create extra crafts to sell to gift-seeking shoppers. If your hobby’s income goes beyond the season and people are hankering for your products and services all year, then time to make it legit. 

At a workshop for enterprising entrepreneurs I attended a few years ago, financial writer and businessman Fitz Villafuerte told us that if we’re consistently making at least P5,000 a month, then that’s the signal to put up a business. Since my blog was regularly earning way more than that, I realized that this little hobby is actually our family’s main source of income. That’s why my blog is now a business! 

A hobby that becomes your business truly is a dream come true. Every day, I am amazed that I get to do what I love. The entrepreneurial moms featured here agree. Michi is happy her stand-up paddling business lets her work on the beach. Tab is ecstatic that she not only enjoys being perfectly groomed anytime she wishes, but also relishes the fact that many Pinays have access to those services. Anna admits that it’s not all roses. “Of course when projects start piling up, it becomes very exhausting, that when all’s done I would refuse to pick up a pen for days or weeks! But in the end, my love for writing (literally!) wins me over. And I keep reminding myself that not everyone is as lucky – earning from something I love to do, at the comfort of my own home.” 

For stand-up paddle tours, lessons and gear, contact SUP Central Tours in Coron 6390 188 6609; Soloviento Caliraya 09188911968 

For invitation calligraphy for weddings, debuts and corporate events, logo design, and other paper products, contact Calligraphy by Anna on Instagram: @CalligraphyByAnna and anna.aquinochavez@outlook.com

For waxing and face grooming needs, visit the websites of The Strip and Browhaus.

If you need help registering your business and paying your taxes, sign up for Taxumo! Use my code FRANCES to get P100 off the first time you file your taxes and FREE one month for Taxumo PRO =)

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Review: BabyLove Premium Gold Pants Diapers

Hi mamas! I told you last week that we finally tried out a new diaper brand. Because life is short and it presents lots of choices and it's fun to explore those choices, right? And also there's now online shopping! Now here's my quick review of BabyLove Premium Gold Pants.


1. It's a quality product.
Notice the word "premium." That means it's special and it really is. No joke! When the BabyLove diapers arrived, the diapers felt luxurious. Excellent materials. Soft and light. Cute design. Smells good. Really well-made. I know quality when I see and feel it and this BabyLove diaper is top notch.


2. It makes my son feel comfortable. 
The diaper is soft and smooth all over. No sharp edges, no scratchy surfaces, no plasticky feel. Nothing that can hurt or irritate my son Piero's skin. And with him, we have to be extra careful because his skin is more prone to allergies than his brothers' skin. And BabyLove diapers are hypoallergenic. Really a great pick for babies with skin allergies!


3. It really keeps my baby dry.
It quickly sucks up all the pee, so the skin isn't exposed to any wetness, and then it keeps all liquid away from the surface. It doesn't matter if Piero sits, lies down, bounces—that trapped pee is not going to leak out at all! Why? It has Lock & Dry Protection which is really just the absorbing microbeads in the center of each diaper. (These make for great science experiments, by the way! Maybe we can talk about that in another post.) Plus, it also allows air to circulate so the skin doesn't sweat. And we like the leak-proof barriers around each pants hole. These fit snugly around each chubby thigh, preventing any leaks.


There you go! My three reasons why I love BabyLove Premium Gold Pants!

Actually, it's Piero who loves them because he wears them all the time. He likes them so much, our toilet-training sessions have been derailed because, in Piero's words, "Mama, I want to wear this FOREVER!" Uh oh!


Mamas, if you're looking for a new diaper to try, do check out BabyLove diapers. Get them from Lazada so you can have the ease and convenience of having your new diapers delivered to your home. It's Lazada's Birthday on April 25 to 27! You can get your BabyLove diapers on COD terms and shipping is free! SHOP HERE!


Check out the Facebook page of BabyLove Philippines for more info!

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Waiting in the wings

"By 40, all women are amazing."

Gwyneth Paltrow said that in an article for the November 2016 issue of Harper's Bazaar. That month, I turned 40 and reading that quote from supermom Gwyneth just made me feel... I don't know. Not exactly amazing. I was thinking, "I'm 40. I'm amazing. And yet I don't feel amazing because NOTHING is happening to me. I'm just here at home, elbow deep in childcare, and trying to get some sort of work done. I'm nothing special. I used to be hot shit. Now, nothing."



This blog post has been brewing in my head and my heart for more than a year now. Maybe more. I've changed my mind many times about it as my heart and my head fight it out but I finally let myself submit to the one who should have always been in charge anyway—my Lord! And right now, God is telling me that the only thing I should be concerning myself with is being there for my husband and my sons.

That's it. And that's okay.

This struggle started when my third son, Piero, was born. I've mentioned a few times that I've been having a hard time adjusting to having three kids. Actually, I realized just recently that I was having a hard time adjusting to three kids AND my need to be doing something else. I have three kids and juggling two jobs: I'm a blogger and an editor. I also squeeze in writing assignments, Boss Bellas workshops for Manila Workshops, and PR campaigns for brands sometimes.

Last year, 2017, was really hard for me. I went back to work while also still blogging, right? Well, I was confronted with the fact that I can't get paid higher or even equal than my last salary, I don't know a lot of things anymore because the world has moved on and it moved fast while I was being a mommy, and I was nobody again, working my way up the ladder again. And I was 40. "Life begins at 40," so it is said. I just didn't imagine 40 was going to be truly life beginning again.

Last year was very humbling. I remember one night when I sobbed to my husband Vince, telling him I had worked so hard and so long to become somebody and then motherhood happened and now I had to start all over again, like all the work I did before didn't matter. I cried, "What was all that for then? I feel like I wasted my life!" And he gently told me, "You know who you are. You know the work you can do. What you know about you and your work is what matters." Something like that. I was very upset that night! But he helped me feel better. My pride was wounded but it's okay. We all need to be knocked down once in a while and I'm glad that happened. I'm more humble now. And in many ways, I'm a better person because of it.

Celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary with the kids! 

I'm grateful. I may not be amazing anymore but I do have an amazing life and I really ought to be grateful. God is good and He is faithful. Yes, I stepped aside and focused on my family. Yes, I did something else (I did the crazy freelance life! I put up a blogging business!). Yes, other bloggers have become bigger and better. That's okay. I always liked the path I chose. Sometimes, however, I have to be reminded that I chose this and that I like it.

If you're a mommy who had to give up her career or pass up on a promotion or you find yourself saying no to a lot of nights out with friends (or concerts and musicals like Lion King!), breathe in, breathe out. Life isn't passing you by. Your life is happening right now. And one day, if you choose it, then the career will happen. The dressing up again will happen. Your super hot bod will come back again. Sure, it will take a ton of work but if you want it, it will happen. Just wait. I like to think that it's the other way around—that kind of life is waiting for you. You're just too busy with the important stuff right now.

My mommy life is happening and it is so very real, too—all its mess and chaos, sweaty hugs and sticky kisses, deafening shouts of joy, soft breaths of babies sleeping, conversations deep into the night with my husband, hearts bursting as we both watch our kids grow. Not a milestone missed! Add to that my working life and, honestly, what is this waiting for? I'm living the dream right here, right now. How crazy lucky am I?

Friday, April 20, 2018

Considering a career change around your kids? Here are questions to ask first!

All mothers are busy. We can all agree on that, right? But when the kids are already spending all day in school, or you're lucky enough to have responsible household staff, and you feel that you now have time to do what you've always wanted but still have time for family, what do you do?

Many mamas feel they are missing professional challenges in their life. Now that you have a little bit of time on your hands and your long-suppressed ambitions are getting rowdy in your heart, then it might be a good idea to look through your career progression options. Whether you would like more flexibility or better time management, there is a perfect job out there for you. Before you make your final decision, however, you will need to check whether you can complete the transition and get what you want out of your new career. Here are the questions to ask yourself:

Do you have support?
Looking for a new job or asking for more work responsibilities is not just a professional decision. You have to make sure your family is behind you 100%. That means they really will be there for you when you come home late or need to meet deadlines. Supportive means they won't complain about the hours you spend studying or training. Supporting you means no emotional blackmail and making you feel guilty. It's hard enough to be a working mama so you're going to need your family's cooperation if you believe it's time to pursue your dreams.

Do you really have the time to pursue this?
One of the things mothers struggle with is time. You don’t want to spend more time away from home than necessary. If you are working full time at the moment, you might not be able to commit to training and development. If your training or further schooling is far from home, you might feel bad at the long commute, especially if you live in the traffic hell that is Manila. Before you decide which career option to go for, it is important that you check the time it will involve and if you're okay with committing to it. I'm not being discouraging, okay? I'm just being pragmatic. Best to know if you can do it than jump in and then find that you wasted your family's money and efforts because you didn't have the time to do it.

Being a consultant editor for BABY magazine was perfect! I brought the kids along to photo shoots, for example.

Can you build on your existing qualifications?
One of the best ways of speeding up your career progression or transition is to look for a new course that takes into consideration your previous qualifications. As an example, if you would like to upgrade your diploma online RN to BSN you will get credits for your previous course and get your degree faster studying at your own pace.

How flexible are your choices?
When raising kids, you will have some important responsibilities that you cannot neglect. Ideally, you would like to spend the weekends with your family, eat dinner with the kids, and be able to attend parents’ meetings and football matches. If your chosen career is not likely to give you this flexibility, you might need to look further. If, however, you will be able to work from home for a couple of days a week, you can work around your family life. That's my life now! It takes a lot of discipline, working from home, since there's a bed, a TV, and books to distract you! But I do enjoy working from home.
There's a lot of cute guys in my work place. Here's the littlest one!

Have you considered starting a business?

If you're tired of your office hours or the commute or if you're a housewife who now wants to work but doesn't want to go back to the stiff corporate environment, then you might consider starting your own business and being your own boss. Like I did! While at the beginning you’ll need to put in the extra hours and work hard, in the end you will get more freedom and money to spare. Consider your options and build on your strengths and opportunities to create a long term plan that works for you. From blogging to becoming an affiliate, virtual assistant, or online accountant, there are several options to choose from, depending on your qualifications, interest, and skills. 

I turned my blog into a business: I get sponsorships, partnerships, brand ambassadorships, and launched workshops.

Us working mamas often struggle with work-life balance. If you feel like it is time for a career change, consider your current and future commitments, and what your new job will help you to achieve. This way, you can not only improve your career, but also live a more balanced life.

*This post has affiliate links.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

The day after our wedding

Look at what Vince found last week! Photos from the morning after our wedding!

He's showing off his wedding ring. Hindi nakita haha
My eye bags are so wow.

These were 11 years ago. I took them with my Blackberry. We were so exhausted and exhilarated. Just so giddy and happy and tired. My eye bags are huge! I swear I look younger now than I did 11 years ago haha Thank you, eye cream!

Oh, such a happy day my wedding was. But, as someone once said in a speech at another wedding a long time ago, your wedding day is not the happiest day in your life. And it's true. The next day was. And most days after that. When the children are born... Oh my dear heaven, nothing beats that day and I'm so glad I had three of those blessed days.

Sure, marriage isn't all happiness. One time, Vince and I had a massive fight and I said I wasn't happy anymore and he seethed back, "So what? I didn't marry you to make you happy. I married you till death do us part!" And I was taken aback and realized that if every couple married for happiness, then what do you do when you're not happy anymore? And in life, there is only one guarantee—it's going to be hard, sometimes so hard you can't see through the darkness and despair. That's why you vow to stick together for better and for worse. Your husband is the hand you hold as you struggle out of the muck. And we went through a lot of shit a few years ago, and we came out of it still together and stronger than ever.

I can see Vince reading that last sentence and rolling his eyes in mirth. Vince likes to tease me whenever I blog about difficulties in our marriage. He goes, "Grabe, parang maghihiwalay na tayo! Grabe ang drama!" Kainis!!! In my mind, these are real struggles. But in his mind, I guess, as long as we're together, they're nothing to be worried about. He's so stable, so secure, so sure. I love this man.

Happy anniversary, Vince! Eleven years married, 19 in love. Next year is 20 years yo! You're such a lucky guy. And I'll always be the luckiest girl.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Frances Finds: BabyLove Premium Gold Pants Diaper

Hi mamas! I just discovered the joy of shopping for diapers online!!! And I found a new diaper brand and we love it, too—BabyLove Premium Gold Pants.

But first, the back story: Ever since I've blogged about products I love, it's become stressful to do the grocery. Why??? Let me tell you this one time I wanted canned corn kernels and my usual brand had run out so I grabbed another brand instead. No biggie, right? Wouldn't you know that a blog reader just happened to pass by and remark, "Ay, diba Jolly ka?" GUYS. Stress! It's not just when there's no stock. There have been many times I wanted to try out a new product I saw on the supermarket shelf or on another mommy blogger's IG feed and I couldn't!

So I was telling the girls at work that the supermarket near the office didn't have my toddler's diaper size and I had to go to a much farther grocery store to get our usual diaper brand because I can't buy another brand in case there just happens to be some blog reader passing by to question my brand loyalty. They laughed at my ridiculousness, decided they'll never become a blogger, and said, "That's so crazy. Why don't you buy diapers from Lazada or Shopee then? They're much cheaper, there are more brands available, and they're delivered straight to your house!" Straight to my house...! Why did I never think of that?! I never realized you can buy diapers online!

So I went to Lazada and Shopee and sure enough there were diapers upon diapers upon diapers! Good thing there were official stores so it was easy to find authentic products. I was about to put our usual brand in my cart when I remembered that I am now safe to check out other brands. Oh yes! So I clicked on this diaper and that diaper and then discovered BabyLove.

Okay, here are my 5 reasons for choosing BabyLove:


1. As I was clicking away, Piero, my toddler looked over my shoulder and liked the baby on the packaging. "That one, Mama!" So I clicked on it and read the description and figured it was worth a try.


2. I did some research because of course we mommies always research on the products we use on our kids. I found out that BabyLove is a Thai brand. Now, Thailand is the last country I visited so I felt a connection. So I guess that's also why I had more interest in this diaper than the others online!


3. Mommy blogger friend, Denise of Royal Domesticity, uses it on her new baby girl. In fact, she was the one who told me about BabyLove so since I like checking out what my friends use, I said yes to this brand! Denise blogged about BabyLove here: #MyBabyMyWay should be the official hashtag of your motherhood.


4. Okay, I wanted to try a high-end diaper. Yes. Because Piero has extra sensitive skin (compared to his older brothers, he has allergic reactions to more things). My research told me that BabyLove has all the qualities I look for in a diaper: absorbs fast and well, no leaking, keeps skin dry, and made of really soft material. I was so happy that when the diapers arrived, they looked and felt and even smelled so posh!


5. I also discovered on Instagram that BabyLove is supporting mothers' choices in raising their babies through their #MyBabyMyWay campaign. We may have different ways but our choices are always dictated by love. I like that. I support that. There's just too many mommy wars out there when we should just all be supporting each other. Motherhood is hard enough already. Let's just believe that the mother who raises her kids differently than we do made the best choices given their situation. 

So I got the BabyLove Premium Gold Pants because we're trying to toilet-train Piero. The pants arrived fast and we just started using them last week and so far so good, we love the "dia-pants"—that's what Piero calls them haha. We actually still have a dozen pieces of our old diaper brand but Piero doesn't want to use them anymore! That's how much he loves his new BabyLove Premium Gold Pants!


I'll do a proper review next time since this post is getting long haha. Anyway, just sharing some good news: If you want to try BabyLove, get good deals (up to 30%-50% off, mamas!) on this great find on Shopee's Baby Fair Event on April 19-24.  Shop here!

Check out the Facebook page of BabyLove Philippines for more info!

Monday, April 16, 2018

Frances Finds: Easy cook-at-home lechon kawali (plus a sawsawan recipe!)

I just had the best lechon kawali, mamas, and the bestest part of it is my husband cooked it here at our very own kitchen! That's because of my new mom find, the Purefoods Heat and Eat Lechon Kawali!


I saw this product first last Christmas when some of my mommy blogger friends posted photos of their Noche Buena and meron silang lechon kawali at crispy pata. And nainggit ako hahaha So I checked it out at the supermarket, found that the Purefood Heat and Eat packets were so affordable (the Lechon Kawali is just P230 and the Crispy Pata is just P325), and so now we are eating them!


Preparing the Lechon Kawali was super easy lang. It literally is just heat and eat. We just opened the bag, took out the pre-cooked chunk of meat, and fried it for a few minutes. That's it!


Here's my recipe for the sawsawan:

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup patis
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tsp. sliced shallots
1 thinly sliced garlic clove
half a thumb of ginger, sliced into thin strips
2 siling labuyo

The lechon kawali was so hot and crispy and so good with my sawsawan, mamas! Paired with hot and steaming rice, plus pinakbet on the side and we had such an enjoyable and truly Pinoy lunch.


Yung leftovers, kung meron man, you can either fry or broil again, or you can make into lechon paksiw. So sobrang sulit talaga the lechon kawali because for just P230, you can feed your family na a hearty meal. I am so happy about my find!


You know, mamas, I'm really happy whenever I find anything that makes this whole motherhood thing easier. When you're a working mama like me without a maid or yaya (and I say that in grief and despair because every single day for more than a year, I've been hoping and wishing for a kasambahay and especially on my birthdays and the holidays, all I ever pray for is a trusty household helper), cooking and keeping house become drudgery. So when discoveries like these come my way, I get super excited and happy.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The Lucky Ones

I used to have a column in parenting website, Juana.com.ph. The website folded within a year and that made me very sad because I loved being a parenting columnist. Loyal Readers would know one of my dreams is to be a columnist.

Well, it came true naman. I was a lifestyle columnist at Manila Bulletin 4 years ago (my column was called Behind the Scenes) but that didn't go so well because I was a new mom for the third time and quickly found I couldn't juggle three kids, a blog, and a weekly newspaper column. After a year, I resigned with much regret and I think my editor was very disappointed I wasted my chance. So, two years later, when the Juana column offer came, I was so happy!

Oh well. Life in the time of rapidly changing media. 

Anyway, I wanted to publish my Juana articles here on my blog to preserve them. I'll post two or so every month. This was my first—a love letter to Vince when we were so dangerously close to not making it. It's apt since this April is also our 19th fell-in-love and 11th wedding anniversary! I'll add an update after.

* * * * * * *
This was taken shortly before I wrote my letter.

Dearest Vince, 

People tell me all the time how lucky we are to have careers that allow us to work from home. I blog. You write. I cook. You play with our boys. I negotiate another contract. You edit another chapter of your book. I help the preschoolers with their homework. You read to the toddler. I rush to meet a client’s deadline. You rush to meet a magazine’s deadline. We live and breathe words and kids under the same roof, 24/7. It’s an amazing life, one we always dreamed of, and we made this life together, just the two of us. 

People tell me how lucky we are that we live the way we do, but they don’t see that we are so busy, we sometimes spend days rushing past each other. There’s always dishes to wash, laundry to do, deadlines to meet, emails to answer, chores, errands, kids! Always the kids. They need to be fed, hugged, kissed, read to, played with, bathed, scolded, encouraged, taught, brought to school, fetched from school, again and again and again. While we love our life, everything in it is so urgent. Everything is now, now, now! Oh, Vince, if you only knew that my need for you is just as urgent as your need for me. 

I feel it from across the living room, where the kids and their toys and my laptop and notes are between us. It isn’t even sexual, this need, although of course many times it is. Most times what I desperately need is a laugh, a hug, a kiss, a good long chat. I feel it when we’re in the car with the noisy kids in the back seat and the endless errands before us, and we can’t really talk because the things we talk about when we finally do talk are just for the two of us. 

I miss the two of us. Please know that there will always be the two of us. We just need to ride this out. I hope you’ll wait for me, not years from now when we’re old and wrinkly. Please wait for me now, for those pockets of moments when we can be alone, even for just a minute. I know you do but after six years of the kids, work, and exhaustion grabbing me away from you, I know sometimes you give up and you fold into your books, knowing your books are always there and I am not. 

Sometimes I also ignore those moments. Sometimes I catch a rare chance when the kids are all asleep, and this is it, this is when I can be with you, but I chose instead to check Facebook because being married takes effort and I was too tired to get up and be married. 

I’m sorry, Vince. I’m sorry for not always appreciating the gift of you. And oh what a gift! I still remember that rainy Monday from 18 years ago when I met you. I didn’t know then that you, my wonderful you, were about to completely change my miserable life. 

My luck changed when I met you. People call it luck. I think it was love. It was love that made us push each other to chase our dreams and be each other’s sole cheerleaders because no one else believed we can make a living out of words. It was love that put us in a church on the hottest day of the year to vow forever. It was love that made us children, and love for them that made us build a life around them, and love that keeps us going even when we haven’t talked or bathed or laughed together for days.

So it isn’t luck that we have. It’s love. And love may not be as exciting and as passionate when it was just the two of us but the two of us built this amazing life with so much love. We may be buried under diapers and duties now, but we’re still here. And it sure isn’t luck that’s keeping us here. No, it isn’t luck at all. For that, I’m grateful.

* * * * * * *
This is us now. Stronger, better, happier!

Update: That letter was published February 2017. My Juana editor said my theme was Valentine's Day. I was a bit dismayed because I wasn't feeling very romantic. I believe any mama drowning in childcare and household chores can relate. But I sat down, took pen and paper, and forced myself to think about Vince, to think about him and only him and, and about us, too, and I was overwhelmed with a fierce love and longing, and then grief because children were overwhelming our marriage.

I was afraid we wouldn't make it, not because we were having affairs or fighting or hurting each other, but because we were so focused on the kids. Kids when we wake up, kids throughout the day, and kids when our heads hit the pillow. I was afraid that one day, we'd look up and see a stranger. 

So I wrote my letter. 

It's been more than a year and I'm happy to tell you we're still married. And we're so much happier now in our marriage than last year. There are things that could make our life better (like more money, a yaya and a maid, the work we really want to do—like writing and publishing books, editing dying magazines, and did I mention more money haha) but all of those are extra now that the marriage is going smoothly again.

What changed? Basically, it's time. I have more time for Vince now. I'm glad we waited for each other and I'm glad we helped each other through it. You know how people will demand, "I'm married. I have to have my needs taken care of!" Valid point. But what if you're sick, what if you're apart, what if you're working, what if you're just too tired and overwhelmed by parenthood? I believe in waiting, I believe in the right moments, I believe in riding it out. And I'm glad we waited out this whole small-children phase in our marriage. We know there will be other phases when we'll have to take a back seat to more urgent things. But we survived this. Good things come to those who wait. I'm glad we were so patient because now our marriage is good. Again. 

Friday, April 06, 2018

Frances Finds: Manulife GradMaker app to make college tuition not so scary

The school year has finally ended! Let me tell you, mamas, that when I paid the last quarterly installment of my boys' tuition, I literally felt weak in the knees as I stood at the cashier window of my sons' school. "Nakaraos din," I breathed out and I felt a bit like crying, too. I'm not being melodramatic. Last year was tough financially mostly because clients weren't paying on time. Plus, I was sick a lot and busy with the kids too much to take on more projects that could've eased the money situation. Only by the grace of God that we made it.

And while I'm again breathing a sigh of relief that summer has come and I won't be so caught up with the boys' activities (which hopefully means I can focus on making more money), the summer only lasts 2 months. After these short months, it's tuition time again and now I'll have 3 kids in school. Three little boys who are so smart and deserve the best education, an education that costs a lot of money. 

The climb to success starts with a good education.

I seriously get terrified thinking of the next 20 years. I mean, people worry about their kids' college years but where my kids go now, the tuition is already a lot. So I'm not even thinking of college yet—so far off into the future—because I worry if we can afford their basic education now! I have to keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time and trust God to provide. 

I was forced to think about the boys' college tuition when I attended a Manulife event launching their new app, the GradMaker, and introducing their new brand ambassador, Bianca Gonzalez-Intal. It was a small event, very intimate. Bianca and the Manulife officials went to sit at every table to answer questions. So in that setting, instead of volunteering to go up to a mic and asking in front of the whole audience, we were really able to throw questions at them. 

L-R: Mommies Michelle Aventejado, Bianca Gonzalez-Intal, me

Bianca sat and ate her lunch beside me—I know her from my magazine days when she was a Candy Girl and then a Preview Girl—so I was able to whisper personal questions to her, too. Not revealing those! But anyway, Bianca told us how she valued her career so much and that she and her husband, JC, are working so hard now so that they can send their kids to their alma mater, Ateneo. Why? Because by the time their baby girl gets to college, P3,000,000 na ang tuition! That's the total for a 4-year course naman. Let's not panic. 

THREE MILLION PESOSES! Panic!!!

Bianca said she loved how the app was so easy to use and when we saw a demo, it really is so easy to use! Check it out: 


You can get a Manulife GradMaker policy on your phone! You can pay your premiums on your phone! You can see how much your investment is growing in real time on your phone! What! I love it!

To start an investment, you need at least P10,000. You don't have to pay every month or even every quarter. Just every time you have 10K extra, you can put it on your policy and see your money grow. Syempre, the more P10,000 you put in, the faster your college worries will disappear!

I don't have money right now to actually get three policies, but I downloaded the app anyway so that when I do have an extra P30,000 lying around, I can put it towards my kids' college education. To be honest, I'm not aiming for Ateneo. I studied in UP Diliman and I am so very proud of our legacy of free thinking, resistance, and uprising. I want my kids to be steeped in that culture of defiance, too. In 10 years, a UP education will cost just P800,000 (vs Ateneo's P3M yo!) so that's a big plus. But I guess it's a good idea to save up for a pricier school anyway. Just in case my boys would rather go to the AreNEyo (my husband is from ADMU so this is me teasing him).


To learn more about this fantastic financial tool, visit the Manulife website. I highly recommend you check out the Manulife GradMaker app, mamas. You can download it from the App Store or from Google Play.


*GradMaker is a Variable Life Product. This post is brought to you by Manulife.

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

You know your life is complete when...

Vince and I are super enjoying Netflix's shelter show, "World's Most Extraordinary Homes." If you have Netflix and don't know what to watch, I'm sure you'll like this. I don't know any mommy who doesn't like looking at other people's houses!

It's fun seeing other people's dream homes and judging if these people have taste or not haha One thing they do have is lotsa money. These houses are crazy! And yes, the show inspired me to blog about it. Ya know, my home may not be huge and my bank account may not be awe-inspiring but I do love my life. It's very happy and full. Messy and chaotic at the moment because of the kids, and a little worrisome sometimes because of all the bills, but it is full of love and joy. And that makes my very ordinary life extraordinary!

I don't have everything I want but I have everything I need. Sometimes I even think that if I ask for more, then I'll be greedy and greed is a sin. To paraphrase an old country song, I have four walls, three kids, two hearts, one love. What more do I need? My life is complete.

Of course, I still have dreams, but my dreams now revolve around the happiness and success of my husband and our three boys. I work now because I want to support them. There is a certain peace that comes with just working for others. If you had told a younger me that I'd come to think this way in my 40s, that younger me will scream in fright or anger or despair. I don't know. I'm a different person now. My career dreams already came true more than a decade ago. It was fantastic while it lasted. It ended and I loved it. I had my chance at career happiness and I'm grateful. So now I just want to devote myself to work that puts food on our table and sends my kids to school. There is a nobility to that, a simplicity, a different kind of joy that brings me so much fulfilment. Growing up I was always told, "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life." And yes, that was true. But this, at this stage in my life, is also so true: "Work every day of your life so you can give everything to the people you love." It's beautiful, this selflessness that I finally finally (and never thought I would) have.

Anyway, thanks for sharing my journey with me! If you've been around since the start of this blog, you know I've always been selfishly devoted to my career. I love working! I love earning money! So I hope you're proud of me that I'm changing. I still love working and I still love earning money but now I do it for love of others. 

Here's a guest post about how you'll know your life is complete, mamas. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * 

There are many people who struggle when it comes to knowing when to relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. For instance, think about how many individuals you know who keep moving through the ranks at their workplace and gain extra qualifications until the day they retire. Those folks never have time to enjoy their achievements because they’re always looking to succeed at something else. However, money and job progression isn’t everything in life, and sometimes you need to put things in perspective. Regardless of what else is happening at the moment, you know your life is complete when… 
They make my life not just complete but so extra!

You’ve found someone who loves you.
Human beings are needy creatures, and they continually seek the approval and reassurance of their peers. However, humans also have a sincere desire to feel love and affection from others. You know your life is complete when you find someone who’s willing to spend a couple of months salary with specialists like 77 Diamonds, pop the question, and then spend the rest of their lives making you happy. Be aware that some people go through life without ever meeting that special someone, and that could happen to any of us. So, think yourself lucky for what you have. 

You have an excellent group of friends.
What are the most important things in life? While some people might argue they are fame and fortune, others know that it’s friends according to the guys at the Huffington Post. If you don’t have a fantastic group of friends around you at the moment, that is something you need to change as soon as possible. If you’re one of those lucky people who’s had the same mates since they were young’ your life is near to being complete. Those people will be around when you need them most, and so you will always have support or a shoulder on which to place your head. 

You live in your dream home.
While it’s slightly materialistic, most people would agree that buying a comfortable home in the right location is one of the most critical milestones in their lives. If you live in a suitable property at the moment and you plan to stay there indefinitely; there is a decent chance your life is near to being complete. Your dream home should contain all the elements you imagined when you were young. Maybe you used to dream of having an indoor pool or something similar? Perhaps you wanted to live in a bustling city like London or somewhere like that? When you achieve all those goals, you know your life is complete. 

As you can see from the information on this page, lots of people have different ideas about what the perfect life involves. However, if you have somewhere warm and safe to live, someone who loves you, and lots of friends to call on the telephone whenever you need a chat; you’re richer than some of the most wealthy people in the world. So, consider yourself lucky, and make sure you never mope about your situation again. 

Enjoy your life!

* * * * * * *

I like that: "If you have somewhere warm and safe to live, someone who loves you, and lots of friends to call on the telephone whenever you need a chat; you’re richer than some of the most wealthy people in the world."

Truer words were never spoken!

But if you do feel like looking at how the 1% live, turn on Netflix and watch this fantabulous show!


*This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Pros & Cons of Returning to a Former Relationship

Marriage, or rather the failure of it, is quite the topic these days. Recently, a celebrity stylist introduced her child to the world and people were horrified—not because she had a baby while unmarried but because the father of her baby was still very much married. No one likes a homewrecker. Not ever and never ever. Also recently, it looks like divorce will finally be legal in our country. So there's a lot of talk on how that is good news and bad news.

I'm a great believer in marriage and that is why I never wanted to get married because it honestly is an institution meant for superhumans. Marriage is HARD. But I also believe that it's one of the most beautiful things about the human experience, and so I am glad I did get married. Even when being married is not easy.

That said, I will always support divorce as a civic right. As I said, marriage is for superhumans and I don't know any superhuman haha. Joking aside, even though I believe in marriage, I also believe that people should feel safe and secure. Anyone who feels threatened and abused in a marriage should have the option to leave it. A marriage should be a good thing so if it is a very harmful situation, a spouse should be legally allowed to leave for his or her (usually her) and the children's safety.

I'm glad that our divorce bill allows for a cooling-off period because I believe that a couple should work out their differences. (Except when there's abuse. Leave. Period!) Sometimes time apart helps a husband and wife realize what the problem is and they may forgive and try again.

What do you think, mamas? What do you think of the divorce bill? What will make you leave your husband? Will you forgive your husband if he had an affair?

Anyway, I'm publishing a guest post because I think it's relevant today (coincidentally, it's the season where we're all asked to forgive so...). Tell me what you think!

* * * * * * *

The decision of whether or not to return to a former love can be a challenging one. At one point or another, everyone is likely to have weighed up the pros and cons in their mind of going back to a past flame. Well, in this article, we are going to weigh up some of the main ones. If you are currently going through this dilemma, hopefully, this article can go some way towards making this decision just a little bit clearer to you. So, without further ado, let’s get started.

Reasons Not to Go Back



First of all, when you go back to an old relationship, it is very difficult to recapture the initial rush of excitement that you had in the first place. If you are planning to give your ex another chance, don’t dive straight back into a full-on relationship. Instead, you should meet up on a more casual basis to find out if what you once had is still there. Another reason not to go back is that you are doing it for the wrong reasons like because you are simply feeling lonely. Though going back to a past lover may provide a temporary fix, you are unlikely to get the long-term fulfillment that you are looking for.

If the reason that you broke up in the first place is that the other person hurt you in a major way, you need to be totally confident that they are not going to do the same thing all over again - something which is very difficult to achieve. After all, you don’t want to end up getting taken advantage of all over again. Finally, if you go back to a former relationship, you have no room to meet new people and perhaps grow and develop yourself.

Reasons to Return



There is a power in forgiveness, and if you are sure that you can move past what went wrong in the first place, you may find that this is the right path for you. Perhaps the other person has undergone some profound changes in their life after losing you. However, if you are the one who did wrong, it may be worth taking a look at Get Your Ex Back: Super System Program. There is always the danger that if you don’t give it a go, you may end up regretting it.

There is always a chance that you vow to do things better the second time around. You can learn from your past mistakes and establish a relationship which works better for the two of you. You may have both had the chance to grow and develop, and you are bringing these positive changes back into each other’s lives.

As you have probably gathered, the decision to bring a past lover back into your life is always going to be somewhat of a gamble. Ultimately, it is all up to you as to whether it is one that it worth taking or not.

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Photo 1 and 2 from Pexels.com.

Friday, March 23, 2018

What's your #MeToo story, working mama?

Unless you've not been paying attention to the news, there is a bold and loud change happening in Hollywood and all over the world. It's the #MeToo movement, which is women very publicly sharing their stories of sexual harassment at the workplace. Famous women like Uma Thurman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Taylor Swift, Cara Delavigne and many more shared their stories and these definitely made headlines and magazine covers, propelling the movement and making that hashtag go viral.

People can't stop talking about it because most working women have a story to tell. And many from all ages, economic backgrounds, races, and industries did. The first few stories were enough to unleash a storm of other stories so silently endured because women were afraid and ashamed. Well, not anymore!

Read the story on TIME.com

I've been meaning to talk about the #MeToo movement here on the blog because this is a working mama blog, but because I've never actually experienced sexual harassment in any of my workplaces, I didn't think I could. Well, the recent awards shows in Hollywood was all about ending sexual harassment in all industries and the fact that this month is International Women's Month makes this as good a time as any! So please let me say something and I hope you can say something, too.

I've been very fortunate to have worked for female bosses nearly all my life. There have only been three times I had a male boss. One of them gave me a really romantic gift and I resigned soon after in horror. I don't want that kind of shit in my working life. My husband still teases me about the gift because even he thinks it's so romantic. Now, I acknowledge it was so easy to resign because the job didn't pay well and I didn't like the work anyway. I was young and didn't really care for anything so I got off easy.

Many women don't have it that easy. Many women can't walk away from a job because (a) it's their dream job and/or (b) they have mouths to feed and bills to pay. It's easier to take the abuse sometimes if you're convinced it's part of the package (i.e. the notorious casting couch) or if you're doing the job because people depended on you. It's also harder to say no to an abuser if he threatens you or your family. I know many girls who were forced in these situations. They are good girls, wonderful women.

That's why whenever I see condemning comments on these #MeToo news, I get really upset. You know, the ones that go, "Why didn't she just quit her job? No dream job is worth it! If she really hated it, why didn't she just leave? Why didn't she report it the first time it happened? I would NEVER do that! Women like that are nothing more than prostitutes."

Well, they all have a point and yet it's really not that simple. As for prostitution, let me just say that when I was in college taking up Creative Writing, an alumni talked to our class and we were so eager to listen to him. All he did was dash our dreams when he said, "If you write for anything else that isn't from your muse, if you write for money not for your art, if you accepted payment from a client, if you work anywhere that you don't like, if you even did something for your boss that isn't part of your job description, you just prostituted yourself."

Full disclosure: I write for money. I'm not ashamed of it, too. I'm pretty proud of the fact that practically every word I've published has given me a really nice life. Not all of us can write for free, ya know. Gotta feed the kids and send them to school. So prostitution is a strange word to use for working women although I know a lot of conservative men who think that any woman who works for money is little better than a whore. That's why a lot of men think they can harass women at work. They think no man is looking out for her, that she'd do anything for the money because she needs it, that she's game. And we women, we've been taught to smile, to accept it, to be flattered by it, and most importantly to never ever talk about it.

Well, no more!

I guess all I want to say is that sexual harassment and abuse of women is evil, and there is a special kind of evil when working women, especially working mothers, are subjected to it. There is immense power the abuser exercises over us when they know we really really want this job or that we really really need it because we have children. These predators prey not really on our bodies, but on our dreams, our hopes, and our need to provide for those we love. It's a sad story from the dawn of time and it's still a story we hear today.

And you know what else is evil? When we do succeed in our work but no one believes it's your talent and hard work that did it. They all think it's because of the sexual relationship—it's never rape or harassment to them because the woman "agreed" to the sex. So now the successful woman starts to wonder if what these people think is true: "Did I get the job because I was the most qualified for it or because I did that horrible thing? Did I get promoted because I brought in a lot of money to the company or because I did that horrible thing? Is my success real or is it all a fraud?" And now the dream, the hard work, the success—all that is tainted. What an evil thing to do to us!

I'm so glad that this #MeToo movement is rocking Hollywood right now. It's changing everyone not just in Hollywood or in the US, but all over the world. Many countries are now talking about the problem of sexual harassment at work and how to deal with it. The #MeToo movement is making women think we don't have to take sexual harassment. It's changing the way we think of men and women and the workplace, that these things aren't normal and part of the job, that these things are evil and must be stopped. It's making men think that they can't do this anymore because we women won't have it and we will talk about it, maybe even shame them, maybe even have them arrested. In fact, so many men (producer Harvey Weinstein, TV host Matt Lauer, actor Kevin Spacey, Uber CEO Travis Kalanick, etc) have lost their jobs and their positions of power because of this movement. Good riddance!

I'm sad that all these stories are so horrifying but I'm glad they're all coming out. We need to talk about evil because silence is how it does its work best. Now that we have a voice, we need to trumpet out that we're not taking this anymore. What a wonderful time to be a working woman!

Thursday, March 22, 2018

How Your Appearance Has the Power to Affect Your Success

Hi mamas! I'm publishing a guest post because this is something I know all too well. We all know we have to dress for success. There was just one time that I got the job on sheer talent alone. That job is when I applied for a magazine position. It was a surprise interview and I went to meet with the publisher and editorial director wearing a tank top, ratty jeans, and completely makeup-free. I seriously didn't think I'd get the job since the publisher asked me how long ago was college. I was 29 at the time so that question wasn't to flatter me. But get the job I did.

Now to keep the job, I had to dress up. Meetings with advertisers, lunches with PR managers, photo shoots, celebrity interviews, TV guestings, and countless events. I had to look the part of a glamorous editor in chief. Thank goodness that part of my life is over because high heels are really painful to wear!

I interviewed Dr Aivee Teo and I still don't know why I dressed up when I'm not the celebrity.

And yet, as a blogger who earns from brand ambassadorships, I also learned that just because I work behind a screen doesn't mean I can neglect my appearance. I still remember when offers for brand ambassadorships fell drastically when my face exploded in pimples. A literally ugly and painful reminder that in this world, looks are a big deal. 

Anyway, check out this guest post about how your looks can affect your climb up the ladder of success. I think it's very helpful!

* * * * * * *

Did you know that your look and your appearance affect your success? This might sound obvious, but do you know the exact reasons why it happens?

Everyone knows that successful entrepreneurs and business owners all ensure that their appearance is spot-on before they make a public appearance, but why exactly do they do this? There are many small things that add up and change the way we approach life, and in this article, we’re going to explain how your appearance is a powerful tool that can help you progress in life and further your career.

Your Appearance Inspires Confidence
Confidence is one of the biggest factors when it comes to running a successful business or building a thriving career. Confidence enables you to make decisions without doubting yourself, it helps you network with important industry figureheads and it also gives you more opportunities to develop yourself and grow your brand, be it a personal one or your business’s brand. There are many simple ways to boost your confidence using your appearance, but the most important one is to focus on comfort.

You don’t have to always wear a suit just to look good. If you don’t feel comfortable wearing formal clothes then why bother? You want to feel comfortable at all times, not like you’re being forced into wearing something just for the sake of your work. Instead of conforming to stereotypes, focus on your comfort. Wear what you want to work (of course, if you’re allowed to) as long as it empowers your ability to work hard.

Confidence isn’t something that naturally comes to you. It’s something that you need to get out there and grasp. Your appearance is something that you can easily change with a bit of styling, a new wardrobe and, most importantly, by improving your posture. Someone that is wearing an expensive suit but constantly slouching and looking down will always appear less confident than someone wearing a tracksuit at work who is always standing up straight and looking positive.

In short, your appearance has a huge effect on your confidence. Don’t neglect the importance of it and focus on the benefits it can offer you. It might be scary to inspire such a drastic change, but it’s important to get yourself out of your comfort zone so that you can embrace new changes in life and get used to the unknown.

Your Appearance Gives a Good First Impression
In the world of business, first impressions count. In fact, some relationships are going to be entirely defined by the first few moments you have with someone new. In business, there are too many people that want to make it big and sadly, the world isn’t big enough for all of them. As a result, you may find yourself struggling to find success. This is why it’s incredibly important to establish a good first impression, and this is where your appearance will come in handy.

Everything from the way you dress to the way you present yourself is going to have a profound effect on people you meet. If you’re well-dressed in a suit with a clean haircut and modest makeup, then you’re going to appear much more professional than someone who shows up in jeans and a hoodie. If you’re aiming to impress people, then it’s incredibly important that you analyze the situation you’re going to be in and dress appropriately. Is it a business meeting with big-name investors? Then you’ll want to dress smart and look the part. Is it just a casual meeting with colleagues? Then you might be able to get by with a casual look. It all depends on the situation you’re going to be in.

However, there are times when breaking the mould can create a bigger impact. For example, if you really don’t like wearing suits and dressing smart, then why bother? If you’re going to work with investors, then you don’t want to feel inferior or uncomfortable around them to a point that you’re dressing differently just to impress them. If you can’t stomach adapting to your environment and wearing a suit just to fit the mould that is expected of entrepreneurs, then you don’t need to. Make sure you’re comfortable no matter what you do to your appearance, otherwise you’ll lose your confidence and make an even worse first impression.


How to Improve Your Appearance For Success
So now that we’ve discussed two major points and talked about how your appearance can affect your success, we can move on to a few tips that will help you build your personal image and help you achieve success.

Focus on comfort. Comfort is the ultimate goal when it comes to dressing for success. You need to feel empowered in the clothing you wear, the accessories you adorn yourself with and the makeup you put on. You also need to focus on your hairstyle as well. From a lob haircut to a smart ponytail, focus on your entire appearance and not just your clothing. If you feel comfortable looking at yourself in the mirror, then you’ve completed the first step.

Adapt to the situation (within reason). Attending a fancy party with big-name investors in suits and dresses? Try and dress appropriately by wearing a suit, a modest dress or something along those lines. Showing up to work to give your employees a speech? Dress however you want and inspire confidence not with your expensive suit, but your general attitude and appearance.

Brands aren’t everything. You don’t need to focus on brands. They’re expensive, pointless and ultimately a waste of money. Focus on quality, comfort and fit.

Focus on the fit. Speaking of the fit, never wear anything that is too baggy or too tight for your body.

Hide your skin. And to add on to the previous point, make a habit of hiding your skin. Showing your arms is acceptable and showing a bit more skin when the weather is hot is fine, but don’t go overboard.

Don’t overdo your accessories or makeup. When it comes to going overboard, the easiest way to do this is with accessories and makeup. Stay modest with these. Choose accessories that are small enough to be noticed but don’t draw attention away from the rest of your appearance, and apply makeup that is subtle but still gets the job done.

No visible wrinkles. Make sure you iron your clothes to keep them fresh and free of wrinkles and creases. If you’re going to show up to a public event, then you don’t want to look like a ragtag mess.

Smile more. Lastly, make sure you smile. It will make you more approachable and help you feel more comfortable in your current situation.

Some Final Words
As you can see, your appearance has a huge effect on the way you’re perceived and the way you act. Confidence can be built from just your appearance alone, but you shouldn’t approach this blindly by trying to adapt to everyone around you. Building your confidence can also mean feeling comfortable in the clothes that you personally like, or the hairstyle that you feel is most practical for you. So whether you’re the type to wear jeans and a sweater to work or the type to wear a dry-cleaned suit, make sure you’re comfortable with your appearance to improve your chances of being successful.

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Photo from Pexels