This is for Mama who passed away exactly a month ago. I miss you dearly.
I don't believe in dwelling on things that I should've done, shouldn't have done because at that time, that was my truth and I needed to live that truth. I lived the way I lived and I did what I had to do to be happy, to grow up, to find me. Still, when the silence becomes deafening I can't help but feel sorry I put you aside so that I can be me.
I know I'm right where I belong
But sometimes when I'm not that strong
I wish I, wish I'd done a little bit more
Now shoulda woulda coulda means I'm out of time
Shoulda woulda coulda can't change your mind
And I wonder, I wonder what I'm gonna do
"Shoulda woulda coulda" are the last words of a fool.
Monday, October 27, 2008
More on how my skin cleared up
Someone left a comment about how the "engagement-as-an-acne-cure story is cute" but he/she thinks I actually did use a product.
Well, dear curious reader, I was taking Yasmin. It's what my obstetrician-gynecologist prescribed for my endometriosis and what my dermatologist prescribed for my acne. I was so happy that two doctors told me to take the same thing to address two different conditions. Apparently, since my pimples were cystic and I had an endometrioma (or cyst) on my right ovary, then they are one and the same so one treatment can alleviate both. At least, that's the theory that worked happily in my case.
So that's the internal treatment. Now for the external. Rose, now my sister-in-law, got engaged around the same time and she had lovely glowing skin. She says she uses Olay Total Effects. I bought a jar et voila! Beautiful skin. I also happened to have had a few diamond peel sessions around this time.
So Yasmin, Olay Total Effects, diamond peels plus love equals clear skin!
Well, dear curious reader, I was taking Yasmin. It's what my obstetrician-gynecologist prescribed for my endometriosis and what my dermatologist prescribed for my acne. I was so happy that two doctors told me to take the same thing to address two different conditions. Apparently, since my pimples were cystic and I had an endometrioma (or cyst) on my right ovary, then they are one and the same so one treatment can alleviate both. At least, that's the theory that worked happily in my case.
So that's the internal treatment. Now for the external. Rose, now my sister-in-law, got engaged around the same time and she had lovely glowing skin. She says she uses Olay Total Effects. I bought a jar et voila! Beautiful skin. I also happened to have had a few diamond peel sessions around this time.
So Yasmin, Olay Total Effects, diamond peels plus love equals clear skin!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
How does one lose fat when you're already thin?
Okay, I'm on a blogging roll. Might be gone next week because it's my magazine's deadly deadline week so I'm writing enough posts to keep you busy!
So as I published the last post, I wondered how on earth can I lose the fat when I'm already 15 pounds underweight? I honestly do not want to become anorexic. I've put a lot of veggies and fiber in my diet. I've also cut back on sugar and carbs. Of course, at meal times, everyone's worried about me! "Are you on some diet?!" they accuse. And I mumble, "Well, I'm trying to be healthy."
Can you believe I'm even beginning to be attracted to those diet pills on TV like Fitrum, Slenda and Phentermine? Maybe I'll just try it for a month and then supplement it with body-weight exercises to build muscle. Argh! This is so confusing and hard! I want to be healthy but I don't want to be super skinny!
So as I published the last post, I wondered how on earth can I lose the fat when I'm already 15 pounds underweight? I honestly do not want to become anorexic. I've put a lot of veggies and fiber in my diet. I've also cut back on sugar and carbs. Of course, at meal times, everyone's worried about me! "Are you on some diet?!" they accuse. And I mumble, "Well, I'm trying to be healthy."
Can you believe I'm even beginning to be attracted to those diet pills on TV like Fitrum, Slenda and Phentermine? Maybe I'll just try it for a month and then supplement it with body-weight exercises to build muscle. Argh! This is so confusing and hard! I want to be healthy but I don't want to be super skinny!
I joined a contest to win a Moleskine notebook!
I love contests. So when I found the Avalon.ph and Wifely Steps Moleskine Giveaway, well, I just had to join! The prize is a Moleskine notebook and although Vince and I already have Moleskine notebooks here (bought them from London!), we won't say no to one more.
All I have to do is answer this question: "What would you write in your Moleskine?"
Well, this is what I would write: All the things I can't write on my public blog! And that's a lot.
Though this blog is pretty much quite out there, believe me, there are a lot of things that are boiling up inside me that I don't write here. This used to be a very negative blog, full of ranting and raving and bitter hatred against the world. Most of the sources of resentment is imagined, I now think. This blog has caused some pretty big problems for me because I carelessly treated it as a diary where I poured out all my insecurities, anger, resentment, fears. And you know what? No one really likes reading nasty things.
My current Moleskine journal
So I cleaned up this blog, took down hurtful posts, and promised I'd write only silly and shallow things. My blog's readership almost immediately went up! While I'm glad I have new friends through this now-very-positive blog, that doesn't mean I'm all sunshine. A lot of things I'm now dealing with is Mama's death, my family's reconciliation, my very new marriage, my aging, my life! Some things are difficult to deal with or too joyful, too intimate to share to the world. And so when I get my Moleskine, I'll write all the things that happen in my private life so that I can deal better and make my public life be as sunshiny as it is.
All I have to do is answer this question: "What would you write in your Moleskine?"
Well, this is what I would write: All the things I can't write on my public blog! And that's a lot.
Though this blog is pretty much quite out there, believe me, there are a lot of things that are boiling up inside me that I don't write here. This used to be a very negative blog, full of ranting and raving and bitter hatred against the world. Most of the sources of resentment is imagined, I now think. This blog has caused some pretty big problems for me because I carelessly treated it as a diary where I poured out all my insecurities, anger, resentment, fears. And you know what? No one really likes reading nasty things.
My current Moleskine journalSo I cleaned up this blog, took down hurtful posts, and promised I'd write only silly and shallow things. My blog's readership almost immediately went up! While I'm glad I have new friends through this now-very-positive blog, that doesn't mean I'm all sunshine. A lot of things I'm now dealing with is Mama's death, my family's reconciliation, my very new marriage, my aging, my life! Some things are difficult to deal with or too joyful, too intimate to share to the world. And so when I get my Moleskine, I'll write all the things that happen in my private life so that I can deal better and make my public life be as sunshiny as it is.
* * * * * * *
Hey, in case we all forget, I have an ongoing contest myself! So few are joining. Do scroll down and join my Curly vs Straight Sunsilk Giveaway!
Two years of clear skin!
Okay, quick post. Woke up this morning and stared at the mirror. With absolute joy. My skin looks fabulous!
You can't imagine how something as silly as that gives me so much pleasure. I've had terrible cystic acne since I was 12 and I pretty much tried every acne treatment under the sun. I even took expensive pimple medication but the acne and the scars stayed till I was 30. So I never really liked looking at mirrors. Now, I do!
Maybe it's because my skin grew up or perhaps it's the years of hormone therapy I've been on (for my endometriosis). Whatever the reason I am oh so glad my skin has finally cleared up! Actually, my friends tease me that my skin's secret was my engagement. Yep, I got engaged December 2007. By January 2008, my skin was fantastic. Fancy that, eh?
You can't imagine how something as silly as that gives me so much pleasure. I've had terrible cystic acne since I was 12 and I pretty much tried every acne treatment under the sun. I even took expensive pimple medication but the acne and the scars stayed till I was 30. So I never really liked looking at mirrors. Now, I do!
Maybe it's because my skin grew up or perhaps it's the years of hormone therapy I've been on (for my endometriosis). Whatever the reason I am oh so glad my skin has finally cleared up! Actually, my friends tease me that my skin's secret was my engagement. Yep, I got engaged December 2007. By January 2008, my skin was fantastic. Fancy that, eh?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
