TOPAZ HORIZON

Or write in it actually. I'm from Manila and I speak Tagalog and I can't help but code-switch when I'm writing in this blog. Because I speak English better than Tagalog, this blog is mostly in English but I do have Tagalog expressions that leak into the posts. The Mother Tongue sometimes expresses it best. But when this SiteMeter report came in, I just knew it's time to say au revoir to my beloved Tagalog.

Yes, 62% of my readers are not from the Philippines. Hello to you all, readers and lurkers alike! Do tell me what the weather's like in your part of the world. Here in Manila, it's like a burning oven. Unbelievable how hot it is considering Christmas is just around the corner!

Oh, and may I remind you that I have a blog contest happening! I'm giving away two Sunsilk hair treatment gift packs. Join now!

This is for Mama who passed away exactly a month ago. I miss you dearly.



I don't believe in dwelling on things that I should've done, shouldn't have done because at that time, that was my truth and I needed to live that truth. I lived the way I lived and I did what I had to do to be happy, to grow up, to find me. Still, when the silence becomes deafening I can't help but feel sorry I put you aside so that I can be me.

I know I'm right where I belong
But sometimes when I'm not that strong
I wish I, wish I'd done a little bit more
Now shoulda woulda coulda means I'm out of time
Shoulda woulda coulda can't change your mind
And I wonder, I wonder what I'm gonna do
"Shoulda woulda coulda" are the last words of a fool.

Someone left a comment about how the "engagement-as-an-acne-cure story is cute" but he/she thinks I actually did use a product.

Well, dear curious reader, I was taking Yasmin. It's what my obstetrician-gynecologist prescribed for my endometriosis and what my dermatologist prescribed for my acne. I was so happy that two doctors told me to take the same thing to address two different conditions. Apparently, since my pimples were cystic and I had an endometrioma (or cyst) on my right ovary, then they are one and the same so one treatment can alleviate both. At least, that's the theory that worked happily in my case.

So that's the internal treatment. Now for the external. Rose, now my sister-in-law, got engaged around the same time and she had lovely glowing skin. She says she uses Olay Total Effects. I bought a jar et voila! Beautiful skin. I also happened to have had a few diamond peel sessions around this time.

So Yasmin, Olay Total Effects, diamond peels plus love equals clear skin!

Okay, I'm on a blogging roll. Might be gone next week because it's my magazine's deadly deadline week so I'm writing enough posts to keep you busy!

So as I published the last post, I wondered how on earth can I lose the fat when I'm already 15 pounds underweight? I honestly do not want to become anorexic. I've put a lot of veggies and fiber in my diet. I've also cut back on sugar and carbs. Of course, at meal times, everyone's worried about me! "Are you on some diet?!" they accuse. And I mumble, "Well, I'm trying to be healthy."

Can you believe I'm even beginning to be attracted to those diet pills on TV like Fitrum, Slenda and Phentermine? Maybe I'll just try it for a month and then supplement it with body-weight exercises to build muscle. Argh! This is so confusing and hard! I want to be healthy but I don't want to be super skinny!

I love contests. So when I found the Avalon.ph and Wifely Steps Moleskine Giveaway, well, I just had to join! The prize is a Moleskine notebook and although Vince and I already have Moleskine notebooks here (bought them from London!), we won't say no to one more.

All I have to do is answer this question: "What would you write in your Moleskine?"

Well, this is what I would write: All the things I can't write on my public blog! And that's a lot.

Though this blog is pretty much quite out there, believe me, there are a lot of things that are boiling up inside me that I don't write here. This used to be a very negative blog, full of ranting and raving and bitter hatred against the world. Most of the sources of resentment is imagined, I now think. This blog has caused some pretty big problems for me because I carelessly treated it as a diary where I poured out all my insecurities, anger, resentment, fears. And you know what? No one really likes reading nasty things.


So I cleaned up this blog, took down hurtful posts, and promised I'd write only silly and shallow things. My blog's readership almost immediately went up! While I'm glad I have new friends through this now-very-positive blog, that doesn't mean I'm all sunshine. A lot of things I'm now dealing with is Mama's death, my family's reconciliation, my very new marriage, my aging, my life! Some things are difficult to deal with or too joyful, too intimate to share to the world. And so when I get my Moleskine, I'll write all the things that happen in my private life so that I can deal better and make my public life be as sunshiny as it is.

Hey, in case we all forget, I have an ongoing contest myself! So few are joining. Do scroll down and join my Curly vs Straight Sunsilk Giveaway!