TOPAZ HORIZON

Weekends are much more precious now. In a few weeks, it won't be just Vince and me anymore. There'll be the baby, the maids, the friends, and relatives... That's a good thing, of course, but Vince and I happen to be loners. We're quite anti-social although when we're forced by our work/family/friends to attend events, we do try our very best to be friendly! So the prospect of not being alone for the next 20 or so years is quite mind-boggling.

So today, one of the last few Sundays where it's just him and me, we spent it just reading, playing video games, eating, and chatting. Such fun! When the kid comes, we'll have to spend more time with family and the community. Weekends will be spent for the kid's entertainment--educational trips to museums and zoos, fun trips to amusement parks... I'm already tired just thinking about it.I am not being resentful here, not at all. It's more of I'm marinating in the time Vince and I have alone but, at the same time, anticipating the little one's arrival. It's so strange and scary and happy all at the same time!

Speaking of family trips, here's one we had last November at Tagaytay:

I found two really cool gadgets online today (scroll below). And this reminded me of another issue concerning us Filipinos--our energy bills.

I've been keeping quiet about my electric bill even though every Filipino I know is raising a huge fuss about theirs... and with good reason. The bills people quote are shocking! How on earth did their bills get that high?? I just nod and agree and say, "Yeah, my bill doubled, too." What I don't say is, "My bill doubled from P900 to P1,900." Yup, I have shoes and dresses that cost more than my spiked bill.



I know why my bill went up--it's because my energy consumption went up. But Vince and I have always been energy-savers so what we consume is probably less than the average Pinoy household. Here are just a few things we do:

• All our appliances are energy-efficient. They cost more when you buy them but they really do pay for themselves. Every month, I see the proof in our electric bill.
• All our light bulbs are energy-efficient, too. 
• Our window panes are tinted to decrease the strength of the hot hot hot sun. When that fails, we have triple-lined curtains to block the sun out. These curtains cost more than regular ones but they instantly cool the house.
• We open our windows. There's no need to turn on the A/C or even the fans because the winds that flow around a high rise are quite cool and powerful. We just open the windows a crack and the entire apartment is like a wind tunnel.
• We turn off and unplug everything in the house when we're not using them (except the ref!). It's an extra step when we do want to watch TV, use the computer, etc but we think every little thing helps!
• Oh, and baby powder helps big time! I'm usually powdered everywhere because the heat is unbelievable but baby powder saves me from getting sticky!

Another tip I can share--though this isn't mine--is to call an electrician and have your meter and wiring checked. My parents used to get huge electric bills no matter what they do. When they finally called in an energy auditor, they found out that there was a "ground" so the appliances were continually using energy even though they weren't in use. The electrician fixed the ground and the bills went down.



In this terrible summer we're all experiencing, it's really difficult to think of saving energy when the heat is enough to drive us insane. To be honest with ya, I've been turning on the A/C almost every night. It's just too hot! But energy can be saved--invest in new energy-efficient gadgets, find ways to cool the house without using electricity, dress in light clothes and use baby powder!

Photos and product descriptions from FastCompany.com's article: Can Designers Save the World?

Thank you to everyone who greeted me a happy mommy's day. That really amused me since, technically, I'm still a mom-to-be but, gee, I already am taking care of a little one in my tummy and a fat rabbit in the utility area so yup, that makes me a mom! Thanks!

Happy Mother's Day to you, too--moms of their own kids, pets, nephews and nieces--as long as you're taking care of someone, I salute you!

Anyway, I've been avoiding my darling blogging community the last few days because it was Mother's Day weekend and I just didn't want to read about how happy you are to have your moms around. Makes the emptiness in my heart just a wee bit more hollow, you know? But that didn't mean I didn't think of Mama--though I did try not to so I wouldn't be sad, but hey, maybe sadness isn't too bad. So today I finally allowed myself to wallow.

I was thinking today of this huge irony in my life: Mama had always wanted a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Our house used to be nice but decay had set in and we didn't have the money to do repairs so the house just became... well, not nice. Also, our once quiet neighborhood had become a den of thieves and peeping Toms, the kind that needed tall fences, dead bolts and driveway alarms, so Mama always talked about moving to another place.

She loved looking at the Crown Asia subdivisions in Antipolo--Maia Alta, Cottonwood--pretty little communities nestled far up in the hills. She'd say she'd buy a white car so she can visit us and she'd plant a pretty garden because Mama had an awfully green thumb and she can make dead things come to life.

So when I started working, I promised Mama I'd buy her a house in Cottonwood (it was nicer there, I thought). Vince knew this dream and agreed with me--we were going to buy Mama a house! Of course, a house and lot (and that white car) don't come cheap so I really spent the last decade just slaving away. I had a day job and then I had many other projects--PR writing here, web content there, and magazine articles, too. I seemed to be endlessly writing and never sleeping. Mama said she understood whenever I couldn't see her. I was just too damn busy, yes, but it was all for buying her that house! I hardly saw her the last few years of her life but I was getting there, getting closer to our dream.

On February 14, 2008--her 63rd birthday--I told her that with the way things are going, Vince and I would most likely buy her her own house and lot as her 65th birthday gift. She was so giddy. She died a few months later.

A few months after we buried Mama, I got a big raise. I remember looking at that piece of paper and just feeling... nothing. Just this vast emptiness that threatened to swallow me up and never spit me out. I think I went on a shopping spree for me, Vince, my sister and my nieces. I don't really remember.

Do I regret working too much when I could've spent that time with her? Sometimes I do, most times I don't. I did it for her, you see.

Sure, I may not have been able to get her her house but I was able to do this one thing for her... When I got married in 2007, and Mama walked down that aisle looking like a queen, I was so happy for her. When the wedding came out in the society pages and the people who had put her down and sneered at her all those years for being poor and unlucky began calling her up and wanted to be friends again, I was happy for her. She had a daughter who made her proud, and I was that daughter. I gave her a reason to lift her chin again. And I am never going to regret that.

Still, when Mother's Day comes rolling around, or her birthday, or mine, or the holidays, or when this whole motherhood thing crashes down on me and I get terrified at becoming a mom myself, I do wish she were still around so that I don't have to be so strong and so brave all the time. Because really, most of the time, I don't have any idea how life works and it would be so nice to have a mother around. Even for just a little while.

This is just so fabulous!!! Considering I mostly dress for comfort (except when it comes to shoes) and that I hardly ever know what's the latest on the runways, to be included in their feature is definitely most unexpected and appreciated.

Everyone else on the list is not just a celebrity, they're also such fashionistas! I'm just an ordinary girl!

Giddy, giddy me! Click on this link to read my interview and on this link to read the entire story--this I suggest most because the other women are much more stylish than I am and have more advice to offer you than I do. Yey, what a way to usher me into motherhood! Thanks, Style Bible. I think this is a fantastic first Mother's Day gift!

I was squinting at the mirror today, realizing my eyes need to be checked because my glasses are more than a year old and need changing. At the same time, I also know that pregnancy changes the shape of the eyeball so my increasingly blurry vision may just be temporary. I did think of getting cheap prescription glasses to tide me over till when I give birth in August, then I figured, what the heck, with all the changes in my body, I might as well wait out these last three months.

Three more months and then I'll be confronted with the real damage to my body. People have been warning me about stretchmarks, varicose veins, darkened skin, saggy breasts, swollen abdomen, stubborn fat... Well, I don't really mind. Really! Stretchmarks and dark skin can be bleached away, veins can be lasered off, fat can be exercised away, etc. What really has me sad is my belly button.

I'm only vain about two things--my nose and my belly button. I think that those are the only two perfect things in my entire body. Everything else (sparse lashes, myopic eyes, huge ears, big teeth, long face, thin flat hair, flat chest, bony fingers, stubby toes, flabby everywhere) is just okay. Despite enumerating all that, don't worry--I have pretty good self-esteem because I have friends and family who love me absolutely!

So anyway, everyone warned that pregnancy will wreak havoc on the body. So far, so good. I do feel insecure sometimes when I look in the mirror and see a different body. I check for changes--and there are many already--but the ones I'm most concerned about are the enlarged nose and the protruding navel. My nose is still the same, thank the heavens, but my belly button? Well, today, it is officially the same level as my tummy. Yes, it is no longer in its perfect deeply sunken, perfectly round state. And that means in a few weeks, I'll have a nipple in the middle of my belly.

I know it's so shallow but I feel a little grief over the belly button. Mommies tell me that the belly button will recede into the tummy again when the baby's out but that it will look stretched and tired. One said, "You'll just have to work extra hard to have a flat belly so that your navel may look ugly but because your tummy's perfect, it won't look so bad." Great, that's a big comfort to me! 


My husband already misses my belly button and it's upsetting me. In many ways, my belly button is a metaphor of my body-before-baby and I worry not really about what I'll look like after the baby but how my husband will react to the after-baby body. I know he'll still love me and want me but he misses the belly button already and I worry that he'll miss the pre-pregnant body, too.