TOPAZ HORIZON

I take a break from all the bag promoting (shop here!) to talk about a serious matter: marriage and babies.

On my mommy blog, I wrote a post about the new power I feel now as a mother, and it's resonated with a lot of women, both mothers and single ladies. But I got a bit alarmed when I started getting emails from girls saying that because of my blog post, they've decided to get married and/or have babies because they feel so powerless and empty.

Kids, don't do it. I love being married and I love being a mom but it's not a joke taking care of people. It's a job that needs all the love you can give, every day of your life for as long as you live (thanks, Sound of Music!). If you're empty and aimless now, what can you possibly give to other people, especially children who need to be nurtured and guided 24/7?

Go out, have fun, make friends, make love (just don't get sick or pregnant!), try different jobs, live for yourself! Find the meaning of life, your purpose. Find God. Find yourself. Your teens and twenties are designed to be wild and free and kinda weird. Live it. Live for yourself because sooner than you think, your life will be about others and you don't want to feel like you missed out.

I think there's nothing wrong with being selfish. Especially when you're young and have no responsibilities. I think selfishness is a good thing for young people. It allows you to find yourself, to do what you want, to live the way you want and pursue happiness without feeling the burden of guilt and responsibility.

Imagine, for example, wanting to be a musician and being very talented, too, but your parents tell you to be a computer programmer so that you'll have job security and help the family out financially. (This thinking should stop. I am never going to ask my child to help us out. Parents, stop treating your kids like money-making machines. Be responsible for your own future!) So you give up your dreams, your purpose, your life so that you can help other people. It's very noble but it sounds like a path to despair.

My mother wanted me to work for Meralco, where she worked all her life. Meralco has (or had?) great benefits for their employees--a really amazing compensation package. Naturally, when I decided at 8 years old that I wanted to be a writer, she became upset. My father wanted me to be a statistician and work in an insurance company. Again, job security. Writing as a career was just preposterous and they both did their best to discourage me. I fought back. I obeyed them for most everything except my career choice (and my boyfriend choice, although for the latter, maybe I really oughta have taken their advice!).

Anyway, I once overheard my mother talking to her friend. "What's your daughter taking in college?" Mama shrugged, "Creative Writing. I don't know what it is and what will happen to her. But it's okay, I guess, since she's a girl and she'll just marry someone and be a housewife. I'm very disappointed really."

I confronted Mama about that and she insisted that if I cared about the family, I'd take up something more reasonable. I still didn't. I cared about my family, sure, but I also cared about me! My parents said writing will never be financially rewarding, that I'll starve. I didn't care. I decided that if I'm going to have a hard life, I might as well do something I love. I was young and selfish. This is what I want and no one is going to stop me. Years later, I turned out to be the one who helped (and is still helping) the family financially. I've made a career of surpassing low expectations.

What I'm saying, dear young ladies, is if you're empty and confused now, a man or a baby won't make you feel better. As Princess Diana said, "People think that at the end of the day, a man is the only answer. Actually, a fulfilling job is better for me." True! Find your purpose and do it well--whether it's a job or promoting a good cause or cooking or whatever. You need to have a life before you have marriage and kids. Don't commit to anything as serious as marriage and children unless you're ready to give up yourself. And love demands complete surrender. I still have a hard time doing that actually!

Now go and push away all thoughts of weddings and babies from your heads. Fill your hearts instead with love and friendship and fun! Have a good life!

This is the new handmade leather bag of Fleur of Mommy Fleur.

I love how the photo shows her life: organized chaos and style! Yep, organizer to the left, toys to the right, and in the middle of it all--my bag! Fleur is my mommy blogger friend. She's one of the funniest, most real people ever. We finally met a few weeks ago at Philippine Fashion Week. Read the fun story here! You have to read it so that if you ever meet me, you'd know it's safe to approach hahaha.

Anyway, her review summary:
1. The smell of genuine leather is love!
I love that smell myself. Kinda overwhelming, though, when all the bags are delivered and my entire living room smells like a pet shop haha.
2. The strap is long enough so that she can carry it across her body, freeing her hands.
And when you're a busy lady--mommy or not--that's very important!
3. The neutral tan color is perfect.
Matches absolutely everything in your closet!
4. The magnetic snaps makes life easier!
And don't we all need things like that?
5. She loves the many pockets.
I love that, too!
6. Considering it's made entirely of leather, it's affordable.
Yes, it's absolutely affordable!

Thanks, Fleur! May utang pa ako sa iyo!

Aileen of Travel.Food.Finds. totally loves her new satchel!

Her review summary:
1. Ordering was simple and easy.
That's because I like things to be simple and easy. I'm nice, too!
2. Real leather!
Yep, the entire bag is made of real Pinoy cow hide.
3. Impeccable workmanship.
Thanks to the expert hands of Uncle Buck of Batangas!
4. She loves the many pockets!
Because I love pockets, too!

Thanks, Aileen, for liking the bag and saying I'm "super nice." And may I say again: Such gorgeous photos of the bag! Even I wanted to buy it, totally forgetting I sell it!

Meet the uber cool Trixie of Wild About Retail.

She got her satchel the night before she left for a Bangkok trip and she is totally in love with the bag!

Her review summary:
1. The satchel may be 11" long but it can fit a lot of things.
(that's because the leather is supple so it's flexible enough to expand for your stuff!)
2. The leather survived being drenched in rainwater.
(that's because it's real cowhide!)  

Thanks, Trixie!

There was another royal wedding this year, by the way--that of Prince Albert to Charlene Wittstock. I wasn't able to catch it on TV last July 1 so thank goodness for YouTube!


My ten notes:
1. She looked really scared!
2. She kinda looks like Grace Kelly and Kristen Stewart.
3. My gosh, her collarbones are amazing!
4. The light in that place is a photographer's dream.
5. Her ring was a tight fit, too! Did they have the same jeweler as the Windsors?
6. I love that the royal family wore pink.
7. The kiss was super quick (like mine haha) but she did look at Albert most lovingly. He did not. Hmp!
8. Where was Carla Bruni? I wanted to see a pregnant Carla Bruni. She'd have been the Victoria Beckham of the Monegasque royal nuptials!
9. Sorree but their Lexus looked like a pick-up.
10. Why was there another ceremony at a smaller chapel? And why did Charlene cry so much? And why did Albert look at her with annoyance?

Another note: I wish I knew French. I really should've paid more attention to my French classes in college and I really should've continued with my French classes at Alliance Francaise!

Anyway, I also noted that the royal couple used a lovely pen to sign away their lives (hahaha). I was told that it was a specially crafted pen from Maison Montblanc.

Here are the very special details about the very special pen:
The unique fountain pen is made of solid white gold. The cap and barrel of this masterpiece is engraved with a rhomb-shaped pattern and is set with 161 rubies and 128 diamonds, reflecting this royal occasion and the colors of the Monegasque State.
The 18K gold nib is engraved with a dove, rings and crown – all meaningful symbols of this state union.
The design was inspired by the architectural elements of the Palais Princier and the Principality Flag, embellished with precious stones and the monogram of the Princely Couple.

The largest stone to adorn the writing instrument is a ruby in rhomb cut set on the clip.

As a writer, I am absolutely in lust for this beautiful pen! I have lots of pens actually, lots of Parkers and Crosses, but I have no Montblancs yet. Since I can't hope for Maison Montblanc to create a pen just for me, I'd be happy with one or both of these:

Meisterstück Tribute to the Mont Blanc in Platinum

Meisterstück Tribute to the Mont Blanc in Red-Gold

Sigh! Yet another luxury item to put on the dream list!

P.S. Royal weddings aren't over yet! Zara Phillips, the daughter of Princess Anne and cousin of William and Harry, is marrying her rugby player love Mike Tindall on July 30. She reportedly did not invite Harry's on-off girlfriend Chelsy Davy. Oooh! What's up with that?

Montblanc is exclusively available at Rustan's Makati, Shangri-la Plaza and at Newport Mall, Resorts World.