TOPAZ HORIZON

If you've been following me on Twitter, you'd have known that I've been ordered to rest by my doctor. As I have never been one to do as she's told, I've still been going to work, playing rough with my toddler, and attending events here and there.

Last Monday, I came home from work at 9pm. The next day, I went to the office early to check on the bible (that's the mock issue) of the November ish before we sent it to the printers then Vince and I drove to Sofitel for Sony's event.

When I got home at around 4pm, I wasn't feeling well. So I decided to skip Jimmy Choo and Bvlgari. But confronted with a super playful Vito, I took him to the playground. After a few rounds, I started feeling dizzy and  very unwell so off we trooped for home.

At 6ish, Vince and I had dinner, but mid-way through, I got up from the table and ran to the bathroom. I had a terribly upset stomach. That was also when I saw there was quite a bit of blood down there. Not in the back but at the front of down there. I was alarmed. I literally felt like fainting. I wiped and wiped and there was still blood. There wasn't supposed to be blood. You see, I'm pregnant.

Vince and I rushed to St. Luke's Global. I called my OB and I was instructed to go directly to the labor room. Vince deposited me at the ER then he drove off to park. "I'll meet you at the labor room," he said.

I walked into the ER and said, "Hello, how do I get to the labor room?"

A cute young man said, "I'll bring you there myself, ma'am. Do you have a relative giving birth?"

"No. I'm the patient."

He glanced at my stomach very quickly and seeing that I had no belly worthy of labor, he very politely said, "Oh! Would you like a wheelchair?"

"No. I need to walk off my nervousness. I'm pregnant, you see, and I started bleeding."

He looked alarmed. "Ma'am, you need a wheelchair!"

"Nah. Just walk with me. Labor room. Now."

Elevator doors opened and we stepped in. Silence. Then he said, "You're very... calm."

And I said, "No use worrying." And I smiled at this young boy who looked like he needed more assurance than I did.

At the Maternity Floor, he very quickly looked for a nurse to assist me. I was taken to the labor room. Vince arrived, looking worried. An OBG did an internal exam and said--to everyone's relief--"Your cervix is still very hard." That means my cervix is still closed, which means a miscarriage is not in progress.

We had to wait a good long while for the sonologist, who was called away from dinner at home. While waiting, Vince wondered aloud, "What does a very hard cervix feel like? I don't feel anything hard in there." And I said, "Well, you're not going anywhere near my cervix!" We laugh, haha, nervous laughter. But it's good to laugh when you're scared. That's why, girls, you marry a man who has a sense of humor!

Finally, the sonologist came and checked on the baby. Baby was alive. Baby had a strong heartbeat. Baby wiggled. It wiggled its little butt! We laughed. We're fine. We're fine!

And this is me at the lobby of St. Luke's. We had just finished paying for our bill. I'm having a cup of milk tea (free at the admissions section), which I had to get to soothe my frazzled nerves. I'm very happy now. Vince, too. He was completely stressed out, poor daddy. So now I'm on complete bed rest. Please please keep me and the little new one in your prayers.

Oh, and we've finally come up with a name for the baby: Wiggle!

This week, I got an email from a reader who demanded I stop writing about my satchels (buy one now!) and go back to writing about my glamorous life. Sweetheart, my satchels are part of my glamorous life! Because of my satchels, I can now call myself designer and entrepreneur! That's a lot cooler than the nerdy writer, right?

Sigh. The problem with blogging only about the nice parts of my life is people only see a tiny aspect of me. The so-called glamorous part and then everyone thinks I spend my days drinking champagne, marinating in the salon or the spa, shopping away, attending parties every night, la di da. Ugh, how boring. I honestly don't know why any woman would want to spend her life like that!

Most days, I don't brush my hair or put on makeup.

You know what my life is like? It starts at 5 in the morning, washing the poop off my son's butt. Then I spend the day chained to my desk, writing and editing and approving photos. I'm in meetings talking about circulation figures and ad revenues and how to meet financial targets. I'm hunched over my computer, answering inquiries about my bags, sending invoices, checking balances. At the end of the day, I blog or work on my other writing projects. And most of the time, I haven't brushed my hair at all!

Of course, every once in a while, I'll have to attend meetings with brand managers and advertising clients. I'll have to attend events and product launches. Then I'll have to blow dry my hair, slap on the makeup and put on a nice dress. But while you may think that this is fun, events aren't parties--they're business. So I don't get drunk, I don't throw my hands in the air and dance with abandon, I don't flirt. I just meet the people who can help my magazine, ask what they want from me and my magazine, then go home.

Even when I go out, I choose comfort first.

But I know, I know. That sounds so boring and familiar. You wouldn't want to read about that because it sounds a lot like your day. I guess I just find it strange that people will take my blog at face value. That what you see here is what you think my entire life is all about. There are no books here but that doesn't mean I don't read. I hardly talk about my son here (read about him on my mommy blog!) but that doesn't mean I don't think about him every minute. There's nothing here about our government, divorce, the RH Bill and gay marriage but that doesn't mean I don't have very strong opinions on those issues.

I don't talk about those things because I  confess that I am not a very agreeable person. I am highly opinionated, terribly articulate and have a bad temper. I'm confrontational. I'm reactionary. If I wrote about controversial things, then I'll get into trouble. I've already gotten into trouble actually (mostly over stuff I've said over Twitter and Facebook). So to be safe, I just keep things light and happy here.

But please don't ever think I'm all sunshine. I will continue to talk about the lovely parts of my life because I enjoy doing that but please don't demand things from me. I'm aware that I might've created some sort of illusion but I'm afraid I'm not an escape, a role model, a style icon, a success story or whatever you project on me. I'm just me, and believe it or not, I'm very much like you.

I super duper love this review of Em of Akira and Everything Nice!

A lot of girls shy away from buying my satchel because they think nothing will fit in it. Well, as Em will happily prove to you (click on the link in the first sentence!), the 11" satchel is ready to bring all your essentials and more! Actually, when I saw all the stuff she had, even I got nervous. So I was SO HAPPY all her gadgets, baby stuff and kikay kit fit!

Thanks, Em! You are the second person I know who said she dreamed of the satchel. I think that's amazing that your dream has come true! I also want to thank your hubby for insisting you get the satchel. That makes him just like my hubby. Em, ang swerte natin sa asawa grabe!!!

I've been neglecting the blogs. I said on my Facebook page (like! like! like!) that I ought to have a blogging schedule: M-W-F for Topaz Horizon, T-TH-S for Topaz Mommy and Sundays for Beauty For A Living. Well, even I balked at that!

I do apologize for the lack of regular updates. September was... interesting. That should prompt you to ask, "If it was so innerestin, then why ya not bloggin?" Well, I don't want to say yet although my Twitter followers (follow me!) have guessed correctly the BIG REASON why I've been cocooning myself. If you want to guess, then check out Leona Panutat's blog which featured me as her Yummy Mommy for October. Judging from my recent photos (especially the pink Versace dress), I think you can deduce why I've been hiding: I'm fat. Haha! Actually, there's a reason for the plumpness but let's talk about that another day.

Then there's work, the bag business, and of course, my little toddler who is running around so fast and I just can't keep up. As Leona describes me, "Wife. Mom. Editor. Blogger. Entrepreneur." Whew. I got exhausted just reading that.

And I was actually telling Vince the other day, "I want to add humanitarian or activist or philanthropist!" To which he dryly replied, "You gotta be really rich for the philanthropist part." He also added I'm crazy for wanting to even put more on my already very full plate.

I just can't keep up. That sums up my life lately, I guess. So much is happening and I can't seem to keep up anymore. Everyone is telling me, "Step back. Slow down. Relax." So I am. Wish me luck!

The scary typhoon yesterday really made me think about security. What about you?

This is a sponsored post (thanks, Nuffnang and Philam Life!) but I'm going to confess some really personal things here. This post is going to be about money. And isn't that such a taboo topic?

My regular readers know that I didn't come from a rich background. That made me work really very hard to become someone and earn more money than my parents ever did. I postponed marriage and motherhood because I just wanted to be secure financially before I ever took on such scary lifelong commitments.

Vince always got upset by this fear of mine because, in his world, the men always were such good providers so I guess he considered my fear an affront to his capabilities. I did believe in him, I really did, and Vince has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams (thanks, Vince!!!) but I had deep-seated issues. I saw my mother work herself into exhaustion, suffer and get into serious debt. I saw relatives shunning us and making fun of her and my father. I heard neighbors say awful things about my parents. My parents are good people, kind and sweet and generous. But in this world, apparently that isn't good enough. You have to have money, too.

When Mama died in 2008, it was very sudden. She had no savings so Vince and I, newlyweds at that time, emptied our bank accounts to give her a proper send off. When Papa suffered complications from diabetes and had to have two amputations last year, he also had no savings. Vince and I, new parents to a two-month-old Vito, again emptied our bank accounts to pay for his operations.

The past few months have been terrifying for us, me especially, needless to say. But because Vince and I work so very hard, the money situation is good again. Still, when we look at Vito, happy and carefree, we promised ourselves that we will never let him feel the despair we both felt. We will provide not only for his future but for our future, too, so that Vito will never have to worry about his parents and he can be free to live the life he wants. That's why when Nuffnang invited me to a talk on financial planning, I immediately said yes.


Philam Life has a new campaign called "Anong Plano Mo? Usap Tayo." Its aim is to make insurance easy to understand and not so scary. You see, people always think death and bad things when the word "insurance" is mentioned. I don't understand why that should scare people away actually. That should scare people into action! I'm so bewildered by people who refuse to prepare for the worst!


Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I went to the financial planning talk at Philam Life's super posh penthouse club at the Philam Life Tower in Makati. The talk was started by Larry Cleto, one of Philam Life's registered financial planners. Larry is a very good speaker, none of that annoying loud voice or sing-song manner. He talked to us like he was talking about the weather or traffic or the kids. You know, normal. He didn't hard sell, he didn't sound like a know-it-all. He made finances understandable and cool. He presented sobering facts about people's cavalier attitude towards money and their future. It was very "Usap Tayo" in a light and conversational way!


If you're 25 years old, that should scare you. I know 35 years from now seem like a thousand years away but believe me, it's not so far away. Vince and I bought insurance policies when I was 26 and he was 28. Eight years later, I got benefits for giving birth and Vince is enjoying endowment cash! So you see, insurance doesn't mean death and sadness! Larry also showed us how easy it is to save up for emergencies and retirement with as little as P1,000 a month. That's easy! That's like 10 Starbucks frapuccinos, right? I advise you to get policies now while you're young because the premiums will be cheaper than, say, when you're 40.


One of Larry's slides was about the dreams of the typical Filipino. It really encouraged me because I am living the dream! The only thing we lack is the last one--to send Vito to good schools. In today's fiercely competitive world, good isn't enough, though. We have to send him to the best. And that's going to cost us money. Lots of it.


That pretty girl in the middle is Doerie Caraca. She's 14 years old. She's also lost her father. He died in 2008, the same year my Mama died. He was an OFW and the family's breadwinner so I can imagine how frightening it must've been for his wife and two daughters. But because Mr. Caraca prepared for the worst and got Deorie and her sister, Ginger, Philam Life's Scholar Gold educational plans, his family is taken care of and his daughters are continuing their education, and are even at the top of their class!

Vince and I want that same protection for our Vito. Not just for his education but for his life, in case the worst happens (please don't let that be so, dear God!). So very soon, we'll be getting Vito a good policy to ensure his education and, if we still have the budget for it, we're exploring investing!

So I really had an interesting afternoon learning about financial freedom with Philam Life. I'm really excited to prepare for our future because once tomorrow is taken care of, then you can really live today! Hmm. I should copyright that sentence!