Thursday, February 15, 2018

What to pack for a last-minute holiday

It's Chinese New Year tomorrow! For many Fil-Chinese schools and businesses, that means it's a holiday so hello long weekend!

If you’ve decided to spend the weekend on a family getaway, then don't panic, mamas. While a long break sounds like a brilliant way to relax – nothing can beat the excitement of a last minute holiday, right? – it doesn’t mean that you can leave the success of your break to chance. You still need to pack efficiently. In fact, you need to be twice as efficient than you normally are during your holiday preps because a last minute plan doesn’t leave you much time to get ready. So what do you need to pack in your luggage to make it work for you and your family

Transitional clothes for both warm and cold kinds of weather
When you don’t have the time to study the weather, you need to prepare for cold and warm temperatures. Be reassured: it doesn’t mean that you should pour the entire contents of your wardrobe in your travel bag. 

Whether you're going to the beach or going on staycation in a posh hotel, make sure to bring midseason jackets for your family, as they’re ideal to keep you warm during a cool and windy day but they’re not too heavy so that you can still wear them when the sun is out. My husband always packs jackets for my kids (because I always forget, given our tropical climate). Why? Because when we go on long road trips, the car gets cold. When we book at a hotel, the A/C gets really freezing (even when I turn it off!). When we went to sunny Bohol and climbed the Chocolate Hills, guess what—it was windy and drizzly and chilly up there!

Just remember the onion skin layer concept. Pack clothes that you can layer on top of each other if you need to: T-shirt, light jumper, cardigan, etc. 
We left the hotel, it was hot and sunny. Thirty minutes later at Chocolate Hills, we were freezing!

The entertainment factor
It’s a holiday, however short it is. Consequently, it has to be fun! If you’ve still got enough time, make sure to book some tickets for local attractions and shows. Whenever we go to Tagaytay, for example, I really make kulit my husband to go to Tagaytay Sky Ranch and the zoo at Residence Inn. He hates those places haha but the kids love them! 

Additionally, make sure to pack a few toys to keep the kids occupied during the journey. While you don’t need to throw all their toys in a bag, you should have at least three different kinds of games such as a soft toy, a colouring book, and a board game, for example. I allow my boys to bring one toy each. More than the entertainment factor, their toy comforts them in a strange place. 
While boating in Burnham Park is something we won't do again, I'm glad we still got to do it!

Essential tech devices
Back in my day, there was no such thing as gadgets. Now we have a small bag just for it! We bring the iPad. It keeps the kids from running all over the airport or the hotel lobby when we're preoccupied with checking in. We bring a camera. We have chargers and wires and power banks. If we're traveling abroad, we bring a universal plug. 

One thing I really want is a smart suitcase that has an inbuilt GPS system. Have you seen those? This suitcase makes sure you'll never lose your luggage. Suitcases now are so hi-tech actually. They have built-in chargers, built-in child seats, and some bags even follow you around like a puppy. This last one I think is stupid because people will trip over that darned thing, diba??? Just look at it.


Looks cool, though.

Don’t forget a snack!
If your trip is going to last a few hours, you’d better pack some yummy snacks to keep you going. Best to pack your own chips and cookies, too, because those things are so expensive at tourist spots!  You can also make your own healthy snacks in a moment. Popcorn is universally loved and it's low in calories (unless you add tons of salt and butter).  Not a fan of popcorn? Try homemade power bars instead. They’re full of superfoods and don’t require any baking time, so they’re ready in no time. 

But we make sure to buy the local snacks, like ube halaya and strawberry jam from Baguio.

From appropriate clothes to something to eat on the way, it’s important to know what to pack when you’re in a hurry. Don’t let your last-minute holiday be ruined by poor packing and do enjoy the long weekend!

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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Here's how to have a simple wedding

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

Our wedding looked fancy but it really was a simple affair.

Now if you're one of those who prefer a simpler, more minimalistic wedding that is just as beautiful, but which won’t cost nearly as much, then here are some ideas to help you create the simple wedding of your dreams:

Trim the Guest List
The first step to having a simpler wedding is trimming down the guest list. You do not have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Only inviting the people you truly care about is what matters in a truly important event such as your wedding.

But in our dear country where everyone knows everybody, how does one get away with that??? You don't. You'll have angry neighbors, resentful relatives that you don't even know, and enemies even who can't comprehend why they weren't there to scowl at your happiness. How do you trim the guest list then? Here's what I accidentally did: Vince and I scheduled our wedding on a weekday because April 18 was the anniversary of our first kiss. Vince didn't want to remember another date, so April 18 it was even if it was a Thursday. I invited 250 people but only 140 RSVP'd they'll come. Why? "Because we have work." Guys, you work every day; I get married once in a lifetime. If you can't take the day off, half the day off even to attend my wedding then #alamnathis. 

Another tip my friends shared is to do a destination wedding. Invite everyone in the world! But pay only for the trip of a select few. Inviting everyone means you care for them but only the ones who care for you will spare the time and expense to be there. 

Semi-joking aside, I really wish Filipinos didn't get so sensitive about invitations. Weddings are so personal. So only the people who you really want to be part of your happiness should be there as this is the best way to ensure that you have a truly meaningful wedding day.

Buy the Rings Online
It’s not a wedding without the rings, but if shopping for jewelry isn’t your thing and you don’t want to be pressured by an insistent salesperson into going over your budget when she shows you lots of shiny things and flattering you, you can shop in peace at a great wedding ring website (check out https://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-rings/tacori/). As my Loyal Readers know, I am a huge fan of online shopping. It helps me consider lots of choices within my budget without having to talk to a stranger. If there had been local jewelry brands that had online shops back in my day, I'd definitely have shopped online!

Vince's cute nephews (they're teenagers now)! We got our rings from a bridal fair—also a great place to find good deals. 

Buy Everything Online!
Since we're shopping for rings already, check out the rest of your wedding needs online. No need to spend for parking and gas and eating out. You have the entire world at your fingertips! You can buy your flowers, shoes, suits, gowns (check out styleaisle for fab gowns!), cake, and souvenirs from the comfort of your own home. The best part is you can save because you can compare prices and avail of discounts. Try it!


Limit the Dinner Choices
Okay, as a Pinoy, I firmly believe that you can make tipid on everything but never the food! Long after the day is done, you'll only have photos to remember the day, right? But your guests will remember the food. They won't remember your designer gown, your crystal goblets, your diamond-encrusted tiara, or the song of your first dance (although I do remember this one wedding where the newlyweds danced to "Maybe It's You." Maybe??? Everyone was giggling.). What they'll all remember for years to come is what you served them and if it was bad or good. 

I read somewhere that half your wedding budget should go to food. That sounds crazy but it's true. The longer your guest list, the bigger the food bill. It’s easy to spend a lot on food if you decide to offer a wide range of dishes and desserts, so what you do is limit the food choices. You don't need hundreds of different appetizers or a dozen cakes, right? Just a salad and few pika-pika, a meat course (with a choice of fish, meat or chicken maybe), some carbs like rice and pasta, and a couple of desserts, that's okay! As long as you ensure that there is at least one option for people with special dietary requirements such as vegans or allergy sufferers, then having a couple of simple options that are nice, but not too fancy is all you need.

We had a lovely sit-down dinner that our guests still talk about a decade after. Our cake was homemade by a friend.

While we’re on the subject of food, it’s much simpler to pay a little more and have the whole deal catered by a prefessional (try https://www.bitecatering.net/). Some things you can do yourself but when it comes to feeding a big group of people, get help. Many people think catering their own wedding, with the help of friends and family is the simpler option, but it is actually very stressful, so be mindful of that.

Delegate
It’s pretty natural to want to have control over what is one of the biggest days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t delegate, and you should if you want it to be as simple as possible. Hence the booming business that is called wedding organizers. They pretty much call the shots at the wedding so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day. However, their services are pretty expensive.

If your wedding is small and simple enough and you happen to have an amazing bunch of helpful friends, then you probably won't need a wedding organizer. The key is to work out what you want and then delegate specific tasks to friends and family. That way, you do have control over what your wedding will be like, without having total responsibility for making things happen.

In my case, I couldn't afford a wedding organizer. My photographer wanted me to hire one because he didn't want to bother me daw, but walang budget! So I just asked my sister to take care of the day itself. I wished I had asked more people to help out, though. I think my sister got stressed (love you, Jacqui!).

My dear friend Kate Torralba was the designer, stylist and wedding singer! 

Do It Yourself
Now, if you really want a simple affair, with as little interference from strangers as much as possible,  then you can make your wedding a charming, homemade affair. Taking the DIY approach to everything from invitations to flowers is actually pretty simple. Maybe you can create your own invitations and print them out at home versus navigating the millions of choices available at shops. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can address the envelopes yourself (I did!). If your mom has a lush garden, maybe she can create shabby chic bouquets for you and your entourage. Ask your friends what service they can give to you as a gift (just don't be an unreasonable, entitled and demanding bridezilla!). Your wedding can be even more memorable and meaningful if everyone who made it possible is someone who loves you.

Was your wedding a simple affair? What tips can you give couples looking to have a simple wedding of their own?

*This post contains affiliate links.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Checking in!

Hallooo halloooo! I know I've been away. Now that my kids are older and the first two boys are in big school and the youngest has weaned and can mostly be left to his own devices, I have found the most incredible and most wonderful amazing thing: I CAN READ BOOKS AGAIN!

I'm so happy!

That means I've neglected the blog, though. I've tried being more active on the Topaz Horizon Blog Facebook page and thanks so much for making it a fun community. I love how we can all chat together on Facebook.

So anyway! I didn't notice it but it seems I've really been enjoying the past year. Without me realizing it, I finally found time last year to shower for more than 5 minutes, to eat without rushing, to pee without the door open, to poop without panicking. I now have time to do my skin care morning and night (a huge reason for my improved skin condition, if I may say so myself!). I can even exercise a little! And in the last few months, I found that I even now have time to read! I read four of the Dark Tower novels in a month and I'm finishing the fifth—the conclusion of Stephen King's magnum opus! —this week. I am having a lovely time just drowning in words. It's been such a lovely reunion!

These are Books 3-7. Been in bed with my books! So happy!
Let me share some of my favorite quotes:

"Dead was the gift that kept on giving. Dead, like diamonds, was forever."

 "In the Land of Memory, the time is always now."

 "She understands how being afraid all the time makes one's friends more precious; how it makes every bite of every meal sweet; how it stretches time until every day seems to last forever, leading on to velvet night..."

 "'If'... [is] the only word a thousand letters long."

 "Head clear. Mouth shut. See much. Say little."

 "Never whisper for the wind unless you want it to blow."

There's more. So much more! As you can see from the quotes above, the Dark Tower novels are not happy stories. I am grieving now actually and I haven't even finished it. So much death and horror! So much love and duty, too.

I was actually planning on NOT blogging this month. What time I find after family, work, and the chores, I want to spend with my nose in a novel. But I had promised myself to blog every Monday and Thursday so I have blog posts my Loyal Readers can comment on because I have my Commenter of the Month giveaway. Must not neglect that!

Speaking of skin care, I also just took photos of new skin care products you might like to try out this year (maybe I should give one of the sets away to my February Commenter of the Month!). I'm also finally finishing my birthday post—yes, my birthday was 2 months ago hehe but I haven't finished the post yet. Too many things to be thankful for! I also want to share with you my thoughts on the #MeToo movement and how we, as mothers, should be propelled by it to make sure we raise girls and boys who will be respectful of each other, not abusive. Things like that!

Anyway. I know there are tons of amazing, entertaining and gorgeous mommy blogs out there. So happy to see so many moms are sharing about their lives. (I'll tell you my favorite ones soon! Would you like that?) I just wanted to say that even though there are many other better mom blogs, you still stick around and that moves me. Thank you!

Okay, I'll come back tomorrow with a guest post on weddings. Because it's Valentine's Day and we should have a post about love! Meanwhile, I hope you all have a great day and a wonderful week doing what you love, whether it's watching your favorite Netflix show or reading your beloved books.

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Monday, February 05, 2018

Why mommy blogs have a short life span (also how Kylie Jenner's pregnancy inspired me!)


Business mogul Kylie Jenner finally announced she gave birth to a baby girl, confirming pregnancy rumors. She said she wanted the whole experience to be private while she was going through it, and she apologized for keeping it private when she'd always been so public about her life.

While I don't think she should be sorry, I totally understand why she apologized to her fans. Yes, it's her life, her pregnancy, her decisions. Hindi naman kailangan lahat i-reveal. I feel like because she saw her older sisters so publicly pregnant and she witnessed all the hate with the love, it's so understandable that she'd keep her own pregnancy to herself. What do you think, mamas?

Kayo, how did you feel about your pregnancies? Super public every day ba ang updates?  Or immediate family lang ang may alam? Why was that so?

Me, my first two pregnancies talagang super share ako with everything. But my third one, hindi na masyado. By then kasi alam ko na that when you put yourself out there, maraming unwanted comments. Like, nagpost ka ng may hawak ka na Coke and someone will comment, "Mommy, linalason mo na yung baby mo." Or may photo ako na kasama yung first two kids ko and may magsasabi ng "Grabe you're pregnant every year do you even care about your carbon footprint?!" So nakakawalang gana mag-share, you know? In fact, that's one of the major reasons I turned my blog from a mommy journal documenting my motherhood journey and my kids' lives to a working mom's blog so I can talk about career and home, and my kids can have their privacy. Yes, all photos and stories shared now are with my boys' permission. And most of the time they say no. Kaya kung napansin niyo, parang naging beauty blog na ang Topaz Horizon haha

But if you notice other mom bloggers, they also evolve. Or kill their blogs entirely. From mom blogs, nagiging cooking blogs or DIY home stuff or kiddie arts and crafts ideas, or they evolve to brands selling products for moms, kids and the home (my dream!). Kasi when the kids start having a sense of social media and privacy, the moms will have then realized they can't just blog/IG about their kids anymore. There are security reasons to consider, too. I have never said where my kids go to school, for example, although people have guessed. Also, many schools discourage a social media presence for their students so paano na mga mom-and-me OOTDs??? So, if you're a mom blogger with babies, know that your blog has maybe 5 years. Unless you keep making babies and grabe na yun hahahahahaha

But anyway, balik sa topic of my third pregnancy. I want to acknowledge that I had many blog readers who also sent me messages asking why I wasn't so generous about sharing my third baby. They said they're so happy for me, they love my third baby also, that they're disappointed wala masyadong updates or pictures. So to you, I'm so sorry that I kept my Piero all to myself and yet thanks so much for the love!

Naaaaaaks, na-inspire talaga ako kay Kylie! Actually, I just recalled that time when I also didn't want to talk about my third baby but kinda had to because I had sponsors or because readers asked. So sobrang bilib ako kay Kylie because she put her foot down. She decided that in this special case, her sponsors, her family's reality show, and her fans didn't matter. Her privacy and her baby did. And in this age of super public motherhood, that's amazing. I am truly inspired!

Check out Kylie's pregnancy video:

What I loved:

Kendall telling Kylie to pose better.
1. I love it that the video doesn't allow ads or comments. As I type, it's already at 19,900,000+ views. In 10 hours! If she had allowed ads, she'd have earned a lot na. But she didn't allow it. RESPECT! 

Mama Kylie showing off her bump and her bling.
2. I loved how she's so sure and calm about everything. She's 20 years old, yes, but if you're 20 and have a business worth USD 420 million - your own business, not inherited or married to - then you are more mature than most 20-year-old kids. 

Kylie with her nieces and siblings.
3. I loved how her family is so supportive. Her mom, Kris Jenner, was absolutely certain Kylie would be the best mom ever. Kim K gently and humorously wanted to warn her about what will happen to her vagina (such a sisterly thing!). Khloe was excited she and Kylie were pregnant at the same time. Aww, makes me wish I was surrounded by pregnant family and friends when I was also preggy (I didn't because I got married late and had kids even later while my friends had kids in their late teens and early 20s). It just seems such a womanly tribal thing. I never had that!

With her friends at her baby shower.
4. I loved how she celebrated her pregnancy with her friends, with lots of food, with parties—she's just so obviously happy! And then when it mattered, she didn't reveal anything—we didn't see her giving birth, we just heard it. We still don't know her baby's name. And we never heard anything from her, her man, her family or her friends when she was pregnant—all 9 months of it and even on the day she gave birth. Nothing. I love how she's so in control of everything. 

Kylie and baby daddy Travis Scott at the doctor's clinic.
5. I loved all the hospital scenes haha The ultrasound, the heartbeat, the family all around her at her prenatal check-ups and when she gave birth (I didn't have that huhu). I seriously cried when I heard her baby's first cry. Brought me back to my own birthing and how giving birth trumps all experiences. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, comes close to that amazing experience. And I'm so lucky I got to go through it three times.

Congratulations, Kylie! You'll be an amazing mama! And a working mama, too! 

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Saturday, January 20, 2018

Questions to ask yourself before deciding on a career change

When a new year dawns, most of us think of making changes. One of those changes probably involve a career shift. I know this because I've been seeing resolutions on my Facebook friends' updates and many of them talk about starting a business or hoping to work abroad or even to work from home.

This is understandable. I think that when faced daily with the terrible Manila traffic, the worsening political climate, and the changes caused by technology, people are wondering, "What's my next move?" To me especially and to people like me who are from media (print and online), we're always dreading if this is the year we go hungry. 

If you are not getting enough job satisfaction or recognition, or you are worried that your company or entire industry is going to disappear in a few years’ time, you might want to change before it is too late. That's what I did years ago when magazines started dying off—I focused more on my blog even before my own title was killed. That way, when the magazine shuttered, I had actually already started another career online and so I wasn't so annihilated. 

No matter if you want to start a new career, or a business, it is important that you complete a reality check, and you are aware of the risks and challenges ahead. Find out more about what you should be asking yourself before making a final decision.

1. Are you ready to learn?
To enter a new work environment coming from a different industry, you are likely to have to complete some kind of training. No matter if your new job doesn’t require a degree, you will still need to learn. For me back in 2010, when I decided to focus on blogging, I did a ton of research on how other successful bloggers were doing it. I read up on all the blogging tips I could find. I asked established bloggers for their secrets—not all were helpful haha that's why I promised myself I'll always give blogging tips and do blogging workshops!

Now, if you're looking for another career that's not blogging, that's okay. Maybe you can ask your company if they offer on-the-job training and say you're expanding your skills set. You can also check out if your company (or another company!) will pay for your education in case you want to get extra training or a master's degree. Some people who want to go abroad train for an entirely new career altogether. I know nurses are paid well in the US, for example. Getting a family nurse practitioner degree can take a few years, but will pay off long term. You will, however, need to be committed to studying new subjects you are not familiar with. 

2. Can you afford a new career? 
If you need a degree or accredited qualification to do a new job, you need to find out two important things: how much it will cost, and if you can fit in learning in your current schedule. To be honest, I had thought of taking classes in marketing and public relations in the digital age. I looked at Coursera and there were lots of free classes offered. Why did I think this? Well, around two years ago, I was told that advertisers now prefer Instagram and vlogs. I'm a words person, not a visual or video person so I knew I couldn't compete. I don't want a massive following from pictures or videos. I want people to follow me because of what I write. So I thought maybe it's time to shift to a career in digital marketing. 

Here was my problem: With babies and a blogging business, I just couldn't find the time to study again. Thankfully, I was able to find my job as beauty editor at L'Oréal. I don't know if this job will be mine 20 years from now or even next year, however, so maybe I should start learning something new! 

So there: Think of the money involved in taking up a new career. If it's the same industry but in another part of the city, think of the transport costs. If you aim for a more prestigious position, will the extra hours spent in the office be worth it? Mothers find it hard to balance family and work life, so if you have small children, you might not have enough time to study, for example, not to mention the financial side of education, travel, and taking time off. If that's the case, maybe you should stay put first in your job and wait it out. 

3. What are your career chances?
Before you decide on changing your career, maybe you should read industry growth predictions, to make sure that you will have a job 10 years from now. If you're dreaming of becoming a magazine editor, I hate to break it to you but it's not going to happen anymore. A moment of silence please for magazines. 

It's not just print media that's in trouble. Some jobs are likely to disappear, due to the development of information technology and artificial intelligence. For example, the accounting of my business is currently handled by both Pinnacle Sources and Taxumo. Pinnacle does my business permit renewal and other things that involve talking to the government; Taxumo does the automatic payment of my taxes. Thing is Taxumo is adding more to their menu of services, and that means I'll let go of Pinnacle Sources in two years, maybe as early as this year. 

Some processes in different industries are going to be completed by robots, and you don’t want to end up being redundant after a few years, due to industry and technology changes. Build transferable skills, such as management, communication, languages, and so on, so you can change your career path when needed. 

So before taking a leap into another company, check the jobs currently advertised, the benefits, salaries, and career progression opportunities. You might want to have a chat with some of your friends who work in the sector and ask them about their experiences, so you don’t end up disappointed. 

4. Will you enjoy your work?
Chances are you would like to change your career because your job satisfaction level is low. You absolutely must make sure that you will enjoy your new vocation, and you will find continuous challenge and learning opportunities, as well as recognition.

If you find yourself fascinated by programmers that work behind what people see in the internet, you can enroll for courses that will enhance your logical and coding skills. This will eventually open opportunities for you as you start to find a software engineering job. 

This doesn't have to mean bigger pay, funnily enough. A lot of us moms are okay with smaller pay if it means having more time with our kids or not having to go through traffic every day, or if there are other benefits like traveling opportunities with the kids. Sometimes, we'll be happier if we start a business or leave the city and start a farm. Some of us want to do meaningful work—usually with no pay. Or maybe some of us moms will be happier if we decide to NOT work and be a housewife. No shame in that!

Good luck, mamas! Happy new year and may this be the year your career dreams come true!

*This post contains affiliate links.

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