TOPAZ HORIZON

Do you ever feel like there's something missing in your life? Maybe you feel like you're not doing enough or you're not experiencing life to its fullest. To be very honest, we moms really should rethink that feeling because with kids to raise, a marriage to keep, a home to run, and—if you're a working mom like me—a job to do, there's already more than enough on our plate and a huge purpose to live out. Let's tell ourselves every day that being a mom is a lot! 

But I know that awful feeling that life is passing you by. Or, more accurately, your life is being poured out to your husband and kids and you fear that you have nothing left for yourself. And you want something for yourself. I get it. That's why I insist on blogging even though I can't find the time and energy for it now that I'm so busy. I still keep going at it when I can because it's mine. It's my little space in the world—my thoughts, my voice, my convictions.

If you're thinking about how to make your life more fulfilling, there are several things you could do to be happier.

I've said it many times: Doing the laundry is my favorite chore! But it only became that way when I got an Electrolux washer dryer in 2015. Before then, I'd literally spend the whole day doing the laundry.

A month ago today, the boy who changed my life forever celebrated his 8th birthday. The great thing about having many kids is you have an instant party anytime, all the time, but especially at celebration time. And a birthday is always a party at our house!


Three little boys so happy to celebrate! I love these three kiddos. They are the happiest little creatures I've ever met. Reminds me not to be so serious.


For his birthday, all Vito wanted was a rainbow cake and a day at Kidzania. So that's what we did. We got him a Red Ribbon rainbow cake that I decorated with Minecraft icing buttons and candy confetti. And we trooped to Kidzania so the boys can pretend to be grownups for a day.

And maybe that's the first sign he's not a little boy anymore.

Here he is quietly contemplating his birthday wish as we all loudly sing him his birthday song. Thinking about his wish is the only time his face grows serious. I wonder what he was thinking of at this very moment. We never ask. A birthday wish is the only secret they can keep, I tell them. And they usually do keep it to themselves but blurt it out anyway hours after.


This year, Vito didn't reveal his birthday wish. We never ask, remember? But this year, because he didn't say anything to me at all, I couldn't help it. A few days later, I finally asked. "What did you wish for when you blew out your birthday candle?" "I didn't wish for anything, Mama," he said. "I already have everything I want." *heart melts* "Everything?" "Well," he finally said. "I want more Skylanders but I can ask those from Santa."

He still believes in Santa. Vito still believes in Santa Claus! He's still my little boy!


Look at that boy. How did I ever make such a perfect child? He's a reminder every day of how good life is, how our family is a celebration of love and grace, how blessed I am. All I have to do is just look at him and his brothers. But I'm usually too focused on chores, work, getting things done... And so I forget.

Look at that boy, I say to myself when I finally look up from all I need to do as a mother. Just look at him. And never forget how amazing life has been especially these past 8 years.

Happy birthday, my sunshine! You are our joy forever!

It's always party season in our side of the world but when the -ber months come rolling around, there's a party almost every other day! Hello, September! And I'm already getting lots of invites to events. Now that my kids are in school, I have a little time now so I'm going to try to attend all (?!) the parties I'm invited to. It's always nice to see old friends and meet new ones!

An unforgettable invite from IG: @theinspirationseekers C and L

I noticed everyone sends save-the-date notices and invitations through Facebook Events these days, and it may be because I'm from the 20th century but I really seriously frown on that. For really special occasions (like weddings!), the invitation should be sent over mail or handed over personally. The invitation tells your guests so many things. Aside from the who, what, when and where, it also tells your guests if it's a formal affair or a fun get-together, if they need to dress up or dress down, if it's a social media moment or if it's strictly private. The invitation sets the stage for the event to come and should therefore be thought out and delivered with care.

Because I'm such a fan of "Shop for anything online!", let me tell you about this amazing website I'm currently crushing on. It's BasicInvite.com! I just discovered it last week and I'm going over everything, not for party invites, but for design inspiration for a possible blog makeover. Basic Invite lets it possible for you to create truly custom invitations—no art director or artist needed. Just look at these pretty samples:

This picture is making me all sentimental and gooey inside. I took this photo for my BabyLove diaper review just a few months ago, when we started toilet training in earnest. It was Piero's third summer and we really hoped he'd be potty-trained before his fourth birthday. Sure enough, before we even finished the pack of diapers—I didn't realize it would be his very last!—Piero was using the toilet and he's strutting around now like a big boy. "I peed in the toy-wet, mama!"

And now I see this photo, a photo of his last days as a baby, and it makes me so emotional!!! As in naiyak ako, mamas. Kainez. I was surprised at my reaction. I have been so ready for the kid stage and so proud Piero went through potty training like a champ, but now that it's here, I guess I'm also wistful for the baby days.

But not wistful enough to want another baby! Nope. I am done! I am finished! I never have to do potty training again! Here's a short post on our tips on how we toilet-trained our three boys (because, yes, I can finally claim to be an expert!):

1. Watch for child's readiness.
I know babies can be potty-trained, and by babies, I mean 2 months old to less than a year old. But doctors say that is not a good idea at all. You can protest all you want but I'm going with the medical experts. Pediatric urologist Steve J. Hodges, MD, advocates for late potty training. His recommended age is 3 years old. Because any earlier than that is harmful. He writes in parenting website, Babble, "It’s typically the kids who trained earliest and most easily who develop the most serious problems. I see about 100 kids a week at my clinic, and about half are dysfunctional voiders; most of them trained before 3." Read his eye-opening article here: The Dangers of Potty Training Too Early.

How do you know a child is ready? When she can say she's ready, when she can run to the toilet and sit on it herself, and when she can pull down and pull up her underwear herself. So what does that mean? A child is ready for potty training when she can talk, walk, and have enough motor skills to not fall into the toilet bowl and manage the business of underwear on her own. Depending on your child, that could be anywhere from 2 to 3 years old.

Our kids were toilet-trained at these ages: Vito at 4 years and 2 months old, Iñigo at exactly 3 years old, and Piero at exactly 4 years old. We waited for their readiness, and because they were raring to do it, too, we were done in about 3 days, with hardly any mess and dismay.

2. Be ready yourself!
A few years ago, I was talking to a taxi driver while we were stuck in traffic. He was complaining about his kid, who had a kid herself. "Limang taong gulang na anak niya, hindi pa rin nagbabanyo mag-isa. Paano, tinatamad yung anak kong turuan yung anak niya!" So there, mga mommies. Kapag handa na si baby, kailangang handa na rin kayo!

Yes, while there are parents who are very eager to get their kids out of diapers, there are also parents on the other end of the spectrum. Many times parents are loathe to potty-train because it will be messy. They just don't want to deal with the mess and the frustration. As a former preschool teacher, I can attest to the many times a parent has asked, "Do you toilet train the kids as part of the curriculum?" O.M.G. talaga. Toilet training is a parent's job, guys.

I have a list of what to prepare when you're in the toilet-training stage to help you deal better with the mess and accidents. Click here!

3. Buy fun underwear.

4. Try training pants.
Now that you've made your child excited to wear big-boy briefs or big-girl panties, you can help train them with the pull-down/pull-up movement with training pants. Training pants are diapers that have an elastic waistband. This makes it easier for your child to pull down his diaper when he needs to go the toilet. It also helps him feel secure because if accidents do happen, the mess will be contained in the training pants and can be discarded. It's easier for both the child and the parent (or yaya).

In our case, we only used training pants with Piero, our last child. That's how I know it really helps ease the anxiety and frustration of everyone involved in this messy business. I mean, we were able to toilet train Vito and Iñigo without training pants but with Piero, everyone was more relaxed. We used BabyLove Premium Gold Pants. Piero calls them "dia-pants" and these training pants definitely made the whole potty-training episode a happy affair. Plus, he loved his dia-pants so much, he was almost sorry when he realized he didn't need them anymore! Try the BabyLove Premium Gold Pants, mamas. Topaz Mommy approved!

5. Reward successful attempts.
It's important to be wildly happy about every successful trip to the toilet, mamas. Like, make it a HUGE deal. "Oh my goodness, you peed in the toilet! I'm so happy! Are you happy? Did that make you feel like a big boy? I bet! I can't wait for you to do that again! Good job!" Yes, that wildly happy.

Another thing they respond positively to is rewards. Whether it's a sticker on a chart or a small toy, you two decide. With Vito, he had to be motivated by Lego minifigs. With Iñigo, he was just happy with the praise. I mean, we had toys ready for him, too, but he was happier with the hugs and kisses. With Piero, he asked for a big toy—a Pacific Rim Jaeger action figure that we had to order all the way from China. So he was determined to learn to use the toilet quickly.

And of course, never punish a child for accidents. Don't even express disappointment. Always be encouraging. I know some parents get angry and say things like, "You're such a baby! You're so dirty!" And they spank the child for every time he or she doesn't get to the toilet on time. The child then learns to control his or her peeing and pooping out of fear. I've read research indicating that punishing a child during toilet training may result to two things: when the child grows up, he or she becomes sexually frigid or sexually deviant. The now-adult associate their sexual organs with filth, anger, and disappointing the important people in their life. So they either cannot feel sexual pleasure or they will only want sex that not normal. So please please please make potty training a positive experience!!!

Aaaaand there you go, mamas! My top toilet-training tips for that exciting, frustrating and messy time in you and your toddler's life!

Now, if you need diapers to contain the mess, help train your kid, or because your child's not ready yet for undies, there's a Shopee BabyLove Fair happening now till August 29, 2018. The promo says diapers are up to 50% discounted! Plus, you get a chance to get a bag of diapers for only P99. Those are big savings! Shop here!!!