It's the New Year but I'm going to share photos from MY new year, back in November 2019, when I turned 43. As usual, it's just me and the boys at home. I ordered a lovely rainbow cake because I was feeling extra festive. I'm finally getting used to being in my 40s—muscle pains, white hair, worsening eyesight, and all that comes with aging. It's not so bad once you adjust!
But this year, I just want to be safe and normal and old and be with the people I love. The pressure to be amazing is off so I can be just happy! Or maybe it's the other way around. I'm finally completely happy so the pressure is off. Either way, I feel so relaxed. Finally. I've finally gotten a grip on my anxiety and lost that "look at me me me!" obsession. I guess I finally grew up!
Anyway, I was asking God for my word of the year. Last year, it was "cheerful." And you know what? It helped me big time. My father fell ill and then he died. We thought we'd financially go under. I started a new career in PR and realized soon enough that I'm not very good at juggling office work and motherhood. I missed my kids terribly and I was dropping so many balls, especially at home. To top it all off, my health was weird (I really should see all my doctors!). Sounds like a bad year, right?
Yes. It was. And yet I stayed buoyed up with an unexplainable happiness throughout the year. I truly was cheerful! Of course, there were times I cried and there were times I felt really bad about how certain decisions I made were affecting my family. But here we are—we're still okay.
Life's like that. We just need to have fortitude and a good "bring it" attitude to face every day. We need to constantly assess our situation and find ways to improve it or learn from it and then do better. We also need to always be grateful for everything, because even in the darkest of hours, life can still send us tiny blessings. I realized that in 2019—my eyes were so open and hungry for things to be grateful for. I guess that's why it was so easy for me to be happy despite all the bad stuff that happened.
I'm also lucky because I have a few people who have my back. It's true what they say—when you go through tough times, you find out who really cares for you. And I am grateful for them, 4 of them are in the pictures here!
I'm also so grateful for you, dear Loyal Readers. All the messages of encouragement and friendship you sent me last year—every single one I read and every single one comforted me. Thank you! I'm so glad you're still around, reading my blog, heart-ing my Instagram posts, chatting with me on my Facebook page, and basically still sending little old me and my family your love. I LOVE YOU, TOO!
So what's my word for 2020? It's LOVE! God impressed that on my heart at around December and I got worried haha I was, like, "Why, what's going to happen, Lord? Why do You need me to be extra loving this year?" You see, LOVE had already been my word, yes, in 2016. Election year. And oh wow, I did not love a lot that year. Not at all. So much hate and vitriol in social media, in my own family, with friends. I wish I can forget that year.
So God's telling me, "Let's give LOVE another try, Frances. You're going to have to give all the love you can give, every day of your life for as long as you live!" Haha that's not God, that's Sound of Music! But seriously, I'm going to try really hard to love this 2020. Love God, love my husband, love my family, love my friends, love my work, love my chores, love mankind. That's not easy. So pray for me!
Look how I must be this 2020, according to I Corinthians 13:4-7:
"Love [Frances] is patient and kind.
Frances is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Frances does not demand her own way.
Frances is not irritable, and Frances keeps no record of being wronged.
Frances does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Frances never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."
Woah. Okay. Challenge accepted! Will you take on the Love Challenge, too, mamas? Because it looks like 2020 will be a year of trials. We're going to need a lot of love to see it through!
P.S. God bless you and keep you in His love, dear Loyal Readers. You are the conduit of God's blessings to me. I am so grateful for everything you do. Even when I'm out of it and just wallowing in worry and being full of myself and exhausted and lazy to blog, you're still here. Thank you!