TOPAZ HORIZON

I know you all have noticed that I'm not really sharing personal stories and photos anymore. Ironic since I blogged last year that I'm ready to blog again. You know what happened? My kids discovered my blog.


Yep. And while I don't mind spilling my guts to you all, I found that I was uncomfortable with the thought of my kids reading how I feel about motherhood. Because you know too-honest me—I just don't enjoy motherhood 24/7. I don't even think I'm a great mama 24/7. Who is???

But that's the whole thing about motherhood for the last few millennia. We mothers kept quiet. We just say, "Oh it's the most wonderful thing, a woman's peak accomplishment, the only thing worth living for!" We basically never talk about how hard it is, how it wrecks your body and your sanity, how punishing it is. We just grin and bear it.

Well, I don't. Not because I hate motherhood. I love it. I love it so much actually, it's so corny. But I can love it if I can be honest about it. There's something so incredibly liberating and there's so much tension and worry released when I can say, "This is hard and I want to scream and just curl up and sleep for 10 years!" Then after I say that, I feel better and I can be a better mama. Anyone else feels the same way???

Anyway, well, my kids discovered ze blog and now it's weird. I dunno what to do.


Well, I will still blog. I'll definitely still blog! I just don't know what I'm going to blog about. Maybe I'll just do reviews now—Frances Finds stuff for your home! Frances Food! Frances Fun! Frances Faves!  It's all going to be beauty, fashion, food, travel and more! That sounds safe, right. Also I must admit, it's more guaranteed to get more search results than my usual weepy confessions. What do you think???

It's so exhausting how my blog keeps evolving. But at the same time, it's kinda nice, seeing how I evolve, or how my circumstances change. I used to be so chill and full of myself, like, I was the coolest mom in the world because I got everything under control—my weight, my hair, my nails, my schedule, my kids. Coolest mama evah! Ya, I said that all the time.

But now I'm a mess haha I'm happier now actually, even though I'm never on top of things. Weird. I feel like every day now is SURVIVAL! And yet, because I'm just letting go a lot, I'm more relaxed. What will be will be. And I also depend on God a lot now. "Lord God, You love my boys more than I do. You love me more than I love myself. So I cast all my cares on You and You just do everything through me. Amen!" And you bet I can breathe after that!


Anyway, it's kinda nice (and kinda not nice haha) that my kids know I'm so in love with them. And that their Mama is just human and has struggles even with such a gift as them, and that I am—more and more—learning to trust God with this whole motherhood thing. I hope that they see that no matter how hard it was for me, especially when they were young, we more than survived and thrived, we had a great time. These last 10 years were the most challenging but also the most amazing years of my life. And it's because of them, my three boys. I hope they read that!

*My prayer claims God's promise in I Peter 5:7: "Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you." I love the play on words in that verse, how the meaning of "cares" is "worries" or "anxiety" and then the meaning becomes "to look after, to feel concern, to love" in the second part of the verse. 

My son, Vito, helped me out in the kitchen last weekend. We checked out the stuff in our ref and pantry and I decided I have ingredients for a curry dish. Vito has never had curry before so he declared he'll cook it but he won't eat it. Well, we'll see about that!

So this is my recipe for Shrimp Curry in Coconut Milk. But further down this post, I'll tell you how you can make it your own with a few tweaks. That's what I love so much about cooking—you can take any old recipe and make it your own!


Shrimp Curry in Coconut Milk

Ingredients:
1/2 kilo jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined (I used Fisherfarms Shrimp Cocktail)
1 tbsp coconut oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
5 cloves of garlic, minced
1 can of green peas (I used Jolly)
1/2 tsp curry powder (I used McCormick)
salt to taste
1 can stewed tomatoes (I used S&W)
1 pouch coconut milk (I used Coco Mama)
1/8 cup calamansi juice (around 6-8 calamansi)
(optional) 1 tsp red pepper chili flakes
(optional) 1 tsp dried basil OR fresh basil, chopped

Procedure:
Heat oil in pan.
Add onion, garlic, and peas. Cook for 1 minute.
Add the whole can of tomatoes (juice and all!) and coconut milk. Mix well.
Add a pinch of salt and curry powder.
Bring to boil. Cover and simmer on low heat until sauce thickens or about 10 minutes.
Add shrimp and cook for 5 minutes or until shrimp is pink.
Add calamansi juice. Sprinkle basil. Stir.
Serve over hot rice!

He loved it! He ate it all up and asked for another bowl!

This was SO GOOD!

Now here are the ways you can tweak it:

1. Shrimp. If you're going more plant-based or are vegetarian, you can easily swap out the shrimp with chickpeas or broccoli or cauliflower. I'll make vegetable curry next and put red bell peppers, chickpeas, spinach!

2. Canned tomatoes. S&W is my favorite canned tomatoes brand because it's already stewed with other vegetables and spices so it tastes wonderful. I use it for tomato soup, pasta, and other tomato-sauce dishes. I just revealed one of my top kitchen secrets!!! But you can choose other brands and other kinds of canned tomatoes, but it should be canned. If you must use fresh tomatoes, use really ripe ones and boil them first so they're really soft and tender and juicy.


3. I think this recipe will be better if it has heat in it. I really wanted to add chili flakes or chopped chilis, but since my kids don't like spicy food, I didn't add any hot stuff.

4. You can use any cooking oil but I like coconut oil with this dish because I think it will really bring out the flavor of the coconut milk.

Tell me once you try it and tell me how you tweaked it, too!

Happy 2020, everyone! That's my wish for us all—a happy new year. It's only been 12 days in and already there's a lot of bad news everywhere. Australia burning, Iran and the US at war, earthquakes in Mindanao, Taal erupting. Looks like 2020 hit the ground running. So buckle up, mamas. It's going to be a wild ride this year. I hope the photos in this post cheer you up!


It's the New Year but I'm going to share photos from MY new year, back in November 2019, when I turned 43. As usual, it's just me and the boys at home. I ordered a lovely rainbow cake because I was feeling extra festive. I'm finally getting used to being in my 40s—muscle pains, white hair, worsening eyesight, and all that comes with aging. It's not so bad once you adjust!
It was such a happy birthday. You know why? Well, because I have my husband and our sons to celebrate it with. And because I'm finally over it—my birthday! I'm so hung up over my birthday, it's crazy. Loyal Readers would know I announce my birthday a full month before the day and I talk about my wish gift list and how I'm going to be absolutely fabulous. That was the old me, thinking every birthday is a fresh start to conquer the world. And that's okay.

But this year, I just want to be safe and normal and old and be with the people I love. The pressure to be amazing is off so I can be just happy! Or maybe it's the other way around. I'm finally completely happy so the pressure is off. Either way, I feel so relaxed. Finally. I've finally gotten a grip on my anxiety and lost that "look at me me me!" obsession. I guess I finally grew up!


Anyway, I was asking God for my word of the year. Last year, it was "cheerful." And you know what? It helped me big time. My father fell ill and then he died. We thought we'd financially go under. I started a new career in PR and realized soon enough that I'm not very good at juggling office work and motherhood. I missed my kids terribly and I was dropping so many balls, especially at home. To top it all off, my health was weird (I really should see all my doctors!). Sounds like a bad year, right?

Yes. It was. And yet I stayed buoyed up with an unexplainable happiness throughout the year. I truly was cheerful! Of course, there were times I cried and there were times I felt really bad about how certain decisions I made were affecting my family. But here we are—we're still okay.


Life's like that. We just need to have fortitude and a good "bring it" attitude to face every day. We need to constantly assess our situation and find ways to improve it or learn from it and then do better. We also need to always be grateful for everything, because even in the darkest of hours, life can still send us tiny blessings. I realized that in 2019—my eyes were so open and hungry for things to be grateful for. I guess that's why it was so easy for me to be happy despite all the bad stuff that happened.

I'm also lucky because I have a few people who have my back. It's true what they say—when you go through tough times, you find out who really cares for you. And I am grateful for them, 4 of them are in the pictures here!


I'm also so grateful for you, dear Loyal Readers. All the messages of encouragement and friendship you sent me last year—every single one I read and every single one comforted me. Thank you! I'm so glad you're still around, reading my blog, heart-ing my Instagram posts, chatting with me on my Facebook page, and basically still sending little old me and my family your love. I LOVE YOU, TOO!


So what's my word for 2020? It's LOVE! God impressed that on my heart at around December and I got worried haha I was, like, "Why, what's going to happen, Lord? Why do You need me to be extra loving this year?" You see, LOVE had already been my word, yes, in 2016. Election year. And oh wow, I did not love a lot that year. Not at all. So much hate and vitriol in social media, in my own family, with friends. I wish I can forget that year.

So God's telling me, "Let's give LOVE another try, Frances. You're going to have to give all the love you can give, every day of your life for as long as you live!" Haha that's not God, that's Sound of Music! But seriously, I'm going to try really hard to love this 2020. Love God, love my husband, love my family, love my friends, love my work, love my chores, love mankind. That's not easy. So pray for me!


Look how I must be this 2020, according to I Corinthians 13:4-7:

"Love [Frances] is patient and kind.
Frances is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Frances does not demand her own way.
Frances is not irritable, and Frances keeps no record of being wronged.
Frances does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Frances never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."



P.S. God bless you and keep you in His love, dear Loyal Readers. You are the conduit of God's blessings to me. I am so grateful for everything you do. Even when I'm out of it and just wallowing in worry and being full of myself and exhausted and lazy to blog, you're still here. Thank you!

My kids asked me today what 2009 was like. It wasn't really because they were thinking of writing a blog post about the decade (that would be me). They were talking about life before they were around and wondering what kind of horrible life that must've been for Vince and me. Haha my kids. So full of themselves.

Funnily enough, they were kinda right - it was horrible the year before they came into our life. It's not funny, of course, because 2009 was breathtaking in its horror. The months before that, in late 2008, my mother had suddenly died and then my wallet got stolen so I was still reeling. Then 2009 greeted us with the news that Vince's baby, the tech magazine T3, was getting the axe. Vince was beyond devastated. It was the end of a happy career and he had a very hard time coping. I couldn't comfort him, however, because I was still dealing with Mama's death and fighting the credit card charges. 

We sold our pickup truck and that was another thing I cried about but it was nice to have money again after we dealt with the financial blows of Mama's death and the credit card theft. That year didn't get any better as rumors of other magazines getting killed off, including mine, celebrity title OK!, set everyone on edge.

Our baby bunny

To make things worse, our dearest rabbit Galady got sick in August and deteriorated rapidly. Our days were filled with caring for a poor, disabled bunny that we'd rather see sick than dead. But the inevitable happened and she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge right after my birthday in November. Vince and I were inconsolable.

Then I was offered the dazzling opportunity to become editor in chief of the much bigger and more prestigious title, Good Housekeeping. The big bosses at Hearst over at NYC talked to me, loved me and my work, and offered me the job. I agonized for weeks because I loved OK! and my staff so so so much. Finally, I said no to Good Housekeeping (and the big raise) to continue doing what I truly loved but I knew I disappointed people and that felt heavy.

I was so sad and stressed out all of 2009 that I would forget taking my birth control pills off-and-on. Finally, all that forgetfulness resulted in my period not making its monthly visit in December. I thought it was the stress but it turned out I was pregnant.

I was pregnant!!!

And for that alone, I can never really say that 2009 was a bad year. All that horror culminated in a new life and what a gloriously happy life it has been! Ten years of absolute joy.

So when my kids asked about the year before they came into our life, I said, "Well, I missed my mama very much, your Papa lost his dream job, and our beloved bunny wabbit Galady died. But it turned out to be such a great year after all because I became pregnant with Vito."

"Yeah, Papa said I'm your lucky charm," Vito grinned.

"You're more than our good luck, kiddo," I said. "You're the life that ended all the sadness and deaths. That's why your name means life."

I keep remembering this verse when I think of Vito: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. And, oh, how new and oh so wonderful!

Our baby boys

How amazing that I can look back on that year and be thankful for it. Life has its good and bad but I know, no matter what happens, I'll always think it was a good life because my dreams came true, I married my great love, and we had our three boys. So incredible!

If you're in a dark place right now, my friend, hold fast. It's going to be all right. You just need to believe it and keep going. God bless you!

Well, it's the holidays and what does that mean? Traffic! The traffic is so terrible, it takes away the joy of the season. More and more often, my husband Vince and I are finding ourselves talking about moving away from the city because life in Manila is becoming even more toxic every day.

What gives us pause, however, is we actually really love our home. Our condo is in the middle of everything, it's safe, and has great amenities. That said, even though we're near everything, the traffic makes everything seem so far! Plus, in a few years, it will be really tight because our 3 sons will be teenagers and teens need privacy and that's why we're thinking maybe it's time to look around for a new home.


We have a non-negotiable list of our requirements in finding a good home. It has to be in a safe community, of course. It has to be near an amazing school for our boys. It also has to be near a good hospital because I'm paranoid like that. A mall has to be a short drive away so we can shop for our needs without going all the way back to Manila. And of course, our new home has to look nice, too! So, upon the recommendations of friends and the invitation of Avida Land, we drove to Nuvali to check out the Avida properties there. Take a look at what we saw!

Welcome to the Trista Model, floor area: 85sqm

Light-filled staircase!

One bathroom at the landing for all 3 bedrooms upstairs

Adorable girl's bedroom

Cozy boy's bedroom

Brightly lit master's bedroom!

That's not my voice, by the way =)

Anyway, the floor area is smaller than our condo now but we saw that the other houses in the neighborhood just extended their floor area. That's possible because the lot area is pretty big (check out the first photo of this post). There's enough for a front yard, a backyard, and a 2-car, even 4-car garage. So if you have just one car like us, there's plenty of space for expansion.

Okay ang Nuvali area, mamas! For schools, it's near Xavier Nuvali, Beacon Academy, Brent International School, Miriam College, and Caritas Don Bosco. Then kahit looban siya, it's a short drive from many commercial centers like Ayala Malls Solenad, The Landmark, S&R, Robinsons Supermarket, Walter Mart, and so many more! For hospitals, there are The Medical City and QualiMed. So convenient!

Everything's a short, tree-lined drive away!

Nuvali Sta. Rosa really looks like a fantastic idea! It's urban enough so we won't feel like we're in the middle of nowhere and yet it's filled with fresh air and so much quiet. I can imagine my kids biking on the streets, making sure our rabbit Bunny Blue doesn't devour the garden because of course we'll have a vegetable garden. I'll walk our corgi (I'll have one or two one day!), swim in the nice village pool, hang our laundry to dry under the sun and in the fresh breeze. And our kids can be home from school within minutes instead of the hours it now takes!

Our trip to Avida Nuvali made it really obvious that we can do more every day in the right community. SIGH. Please pray for us! We really do love our home and we truly wouldn't mind staying here forever. But maybe one day, God has a bigger home planned for my family and it may be waiting for us in Avida Nuvali.

*This post is brought to you by Avida Land. For more information, visit their website, https://avidaland.com/laguna/nuvali.