Thursday, June 11, 2020

We love the man that cooks pancakes in our house

I know there's a big box of Maya Pancake Mix in the photos. It's only there because my youngest boy likes reading packaging while he eats. So while that's the only brand we do buy, this isn't going to be a pancake post. It's going to be better. It's going to be about the man who cooks pancakes in our house. And I happen to be married to him.


There are many things I can do, but cooking pancakes isn't one of them. It's easy enough but I decided early on in my mommy life that I don't want to cook pancakes simply because I wasn't good at it. It's a selfish thing, I know, because I could've practised till I got perfect at it. Especially since it's so easy when it comes in a box, right? I get guilty about it sometimes because my kids love pancakes. But I do so much already, you know? Do I have to be good at everything? Does motherhood demand that?

Well, maybe it does so I'm beyond grateful that my husband swooped in and saved me from this expectation. I didn't see myself as a damsel in distress. I was just a tired mama. How many tired mamas are there in the world? And how many of us have a husband who says, "Go back to sleep. I got breakfast." Not many of us, sad to say, but I do. And he doesn't know how nice that is but I do.


It's not just breakfast, too. He's like the instant pancake chef. When the littlest boy asks for pancakes, his Papa drops everything and whips up a batch. Breakfast. Brunch. Lunch. Merienda. Dinner. Not all the time and not all day because my kids may love pancakes but they don't want them every day. So when they do ask for pancakes, their Papa is happy to give them that.

The boys are always happy when their Papa is in the kitchen. As feminist as I am, I must confess that I'm still the one who cooks. Thankfully, it's not because my husband thinks women belong in the kitchen. It's simply because I was raised to be a housewife so I'm just better in the kitchen than my husband. We're trying to teach our kids differently. Mama cooks, Papa washes up. Papa is learning to cook more dishes, too. Japanese is his thing now. He's spending more and more time in the kitchen and getting the boys to help him out. So now we have 2 sons out of 3 who want to cook. Ladies and gentlemen, we are succeeding in this thing called parenting!    


Parenting is not easy. We all know that. Even something as simple as cooking pancakes can break you. My sorry story was the kids complained that my pancakes were too thick and chewy. How I was able to fail so miserably even though I used that same box of pancake mix broke me. I was in the middle of my postpartum blues when this happened years ago. And I snapped. That's it! I will never cook pancakes again!

It was just a tantrum. I got over it soon enough. But instead of telling me to stop being immature, my husband just decided he'd take over pancake duty. He saw beyond the anger and saw my despair. Such a small thing to be upset about, right? Anyone would've told me to snap out of it. Anyone else would've dismissed me. But my husband didn't. And that is what makes him special.

"Look! It's Papa's heart, Mama!"

I don't know if my kids know this, too, how special it is to have a papa who loves their mama so very much. I grew up with a mother who would cry to me because my father ignored her needs all the time. So I learned to harden my heart and keep quiet about mine. My husband has to figure me out. Sometimes he gets me wrong, but just the fact that after 22 years he still keeps trying is more than enough to convince me that this marriage is not like the marriage I grew up watching, that what I have is magical and special and truly the stuff that fairy tales are made of. Except mine is real.

Maybe my husband and my kids don't know how nice that is. But I do. Oh, I do. 
 

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Beyoncé is Crazy in Love


Is this possibly the sexiest video I have ever watched. My goodness. I think I got pregnant just watching it.

Thursday, June 04, 2020

"Mukhang pera" LOL

Nagsumbong ako sa asawa ko at sa mga kapatid ko about a little issue that was niggling at me. They weren't happy with my kwento but thank goodness they are wonderful people who just gave me good advice. So eto siya: I have this relative - and I love her very much - who's been saying strange things lately. The worst was, "Hindi ko nahalata na maganda ka nung bata ka kasi lagi kang nakayuko." 

Then she said that my head was always down because I looked like I was always looking for money. Then when I grew into a woman, she said, "Buti naman na nahanap mo yung perang hinahanap mo," implying I got rich through marriage.

First of all, I am not rich. Guys! I wish! I don't even know where that comes from. My friends said this relative says nasty things dahil sa inggit. Inggit siya saan? Sa yaman ko? Kelan naman ako nag-flaunt ng kayamanan?? 

Dear Loyal Readers, I know you love me because of what I write - not my affluent lifestyle, my fashionable OOTDs, my extensive travels, my Instagrammable home, my gourmet menu or restaurant reviews, my shopping extravaganzas. Wala kasi akong mga ganyan that's why I know you guys are here for me, not for what I have. 

I'm so cheap now that I cut and color my own hair! What do you think of my new bangs?

My husband says all the time I should go shopping. He'd say, "Please buy something new. Please!" Kasi when he looks through my blog and my Instagram, I wear the same old clothes again and again. My kids wear hand-me-downs or bigay ng mga brands. My things are bought second-hand on eBay or dahil may mega sale. Sabi ni Vince minsan naaawa siya sa akin haha

This doesn't bother me really, if I look poor. Kasi hindi naman totoo—I'm not poor. Cheap maybe haha Yes, I commute. I walk everywhere to save money. I use things until they're falling apart. But I can buy groceries without looking at price tags. I pay good money for good food and good service. And books and my kids' education and future. That's it. Everything else I have can look dilapidated. I just don't see the point of spending money on things I don't care about. So all this time I'm thinking na hindi ako nagyayabang ng kayamanan, right???

So who in their right mind would feel envy towards me? So it can't be envy.

It's condescension. That's what it is. 

I have a great life. I know I do. I'm so happy. My marriage is great. My kids are amazing. My dreams have all come true. I'm blessed beyond words! But instead of all these good things seen as rightfully mine, rightfully deserved, some people think I got all of them just because I married a rich man.

And that bothers me very much.

Vince will be the first to say he isn't a rich man. I find it amusing actually when he tells people, "I have a rich wife." Damn right. I work hard on my writing, editing, PR jobs, my blog, and every project that comes my way. Kung mukhang pera ang pagiging excited ko to finally cash my checks then, fine. But I deserve those checks. I earned all my money and I love it. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want that power that comes from earning an honest income!

Vince said that he finds it so disrespectful that people assume we're living on some fictional inherited money just because writers and editors like us could not possibly live the way we do (but we live so simply?!). It's disrespectful to him and disrespectful to me. We have our life because we worked damn hard for it. 

This isn't a new issue. I talked about this in an old blog post 9 years ago:

"But people don't see beyond my nice life. They don't see that I spent 1999 to 2009 working my ass off, working 24 hours sometimes, eating very little or skipping meals altogether, skipping doctor check-ups and maintenance meds for my asthma and endometriosis, carefully using and cleaning clothes and shoes so they will last longer, scraping together every peso and enduring the glare of bank tellers while I count out coins I saved up to deposit to my bank account, and delaying marriage and kids because I wanted to have a better life first."

I'm still working my ass off, by the way. Three mouths to feed ain't cheap. But just because I make it look easy doesn't mean I'm not working hard. I've had jobs I hated and you better believe I was miserable and I looked it. Things are different now. Because I love my work, I love working, and I love that my husband supports my career, I guess it does look like this is all a piece of cake. It isn't, but I'm happy anyway. And no one has any right to take this joy away by putting me down every chance she gets.  

I deserve everything I have. Every tiny bit. Every single thing I worked hard for—piso per fucking word. 

So I still love you, dear cousin, but this is good-bye.

Wednesday, June 03, 2020

What to do if you get Covid-19 (advice by a UK nurse)

I just saw this on Facebook and I wanted to share it with you! I thought it's a useful guide just in case we catch the novel coronavirus (and with the way things are going in this country and how the government isn't actually doing anything to flatten the curve, it looks like we'll all get that damn disease). 

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image by cottonbro from Pexels.com

Everyone is telling us how NOT to catch #coronavirus, but NO ONE is saying what to do if you get it. Thanks to this FILIPINA NURSE in the UK for putting this guide together:

Finally, some sensible advice From a GP Nurse in the UK.

To Avoid Covid-19What I have seen a lot of are recommendations for how to try to avoid getting coronavirus in the first place:
• good hand washing
• personal hygiene
• social distancing

But what I have NOT seen a lot of is advice for what happens if you actually get it, which many of us will.
So as your friendly neighborhood nurse, let me make some suggestions:

What to Prepare
You basically just want to prepare as though you know you’re going to get a nasty respiratory bug, like bronchitis or pneumonia. You just have the foresight to know it might come your way!

Things you should actually buy ahead of time (not sure what the obsession with toilet paper is?):

• Kleenex

• Paracetamol

• whatever your generic, mucus-thinning cough medicine of choice is (check the label and make sure you're not doubling up on Paracetamol).

• Honey and lemon can work just as well!

• Vicks Vaporub for your chest is also a great suggestion.

• a humidifier would be a good thing to buy and use in your room when you go to bed overnight. (You can also just turn the shower on hot and sit in the bathroom breathing in the steam).

• If you have a history of asthma and you have a prescription inhaler, make sure the one you have isn’t expired and refill it/get a new one if necessary.

• Meals. This is also a good time to meal prep: make a big batch of your favorite soup to freeze and have on hand.

If you get Covid-19

How do you know you have coronavirus?
1. Itching in the throat
2. Dry throat
3. Dry cough
4. High temperature
5. Shortness of breath

So when you notice these things, quickly take warm water with lemon and drink (for relief and hydration). 

• Hydrate (drink!), hydrate, hydrate! Stock up on whatever your favorite clear fluids are to drink - though tap water is fine, you may appreciate some variety!

• For symptom management and a fever over 38°c, take Paracetamol rather than Ibuprofen.

• Rest lots. You should not be leaving your house! Even if you are feeling better you may still be infectious for 14 days and older people and those with existing health conditions should be avoided!

• Wear gloves and a mask to avoid contaminating others in your house.

• Isolate in your bedroom if not living alone. Ask friends and family to leave supplies outside to avoid contact.

• Sanitize your bed linen and clothes frequently by washing and clean your bathroom with recommended sanitizers.

You DO NOT NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL unless you are having trouble breathing or your fever is very high (over 39°C) and unmanaged with meds. 90% of healthy adult cases thus far have been managed at home with basic rest/hydration/over-the-counter meds.

If you are worried or in distress or feel your symptoms are getting worse

Preexisting risks
If you have a pre-existing lung condition (COPD, emphysema, lung cancer) or are on immunosuppressants, now is a great time to talk to your doctor or specialist about what they would like you to do if you get sick.

Children 
One major relief to you parents is that kids do VERY well with coronavirus— they usually bounce back in a few days (but they will still be infectious). Just use pediatric dosing.

Be calm and prepare rationally and everything will be fine.

Do not keep this information to yourself only. Pass it to all your family and friends. May God bless all.

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Okay, guys, I'm not a doctor who can verify if above info is correct but what's the harm with drinking water and being prepared with a few OTC meds and frozen soups? Stay safe and healthy, everyone. Quarantine rules are loosened and we now have to fend for ourselves!

Friday, May 22, 2020

Quarantine confession: I feel guilty that I'm happy

People are like water. Bruce Lee once said that water takes the shape of its container and when it gets transferred to another vessel, it takes the shape of that new container. It doesn't resist. It is fluid. It changes its shape but it is still water. In the same way, people should be like water. Be fluid. Adapt, change, make the best of where we are contained. And right now we're all contained in our homes because of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

He turned 8 while in quarantine. All he wanted for his birthday was to go out of the house.

Matapos ang mahigit na dalawang buwan ng quarantine and I've gone through so many emotions throughout all the fear and anxiety and incompetence of the government and the amazing feats of ordinary citizens and the private sector. What a summer! But now, right at this very moment and maybe for the last month, as I've adapted to the new normal, I've been really happy. But I'm afraid to say it because no one's supposed to be happy in such a terrible time.

It is still a terrible time. Namumutla na kami dahil condo-living kami ang our admin is super strict with us so my kids haven't felt sunlight on their skin this whole summer. My emotions have been wild every day. Especially at the start of the quarantine. Fear, anger, anxiety, worry, helplessness, despair. I lost my lucrative PR clients. Past clients aren't paying me so wala talaga akong pera. Buti na lang may work pa asawa ko. I'm angry at our government. I worry constantly about the future. And I'm afraid of the novel coronavirus and what it can do to my family.    

Then as the days wore on, it slowly dawned on me that I'm no longer worrying about certain things that made me unhappy. I don't wake at dawn anymore. I don't need to force my kids to eat their vegetables and take their vitamins. I don't worry about being a bad mom anymore just because my kids don't play outside or they spend too much time watching TV. I finally have time to fix and organize and clean. And for the first time in 5 years, I'm not gritting my teeth about tuition and enrolment, labeling and covering school books, and sewing name labels on uniforms. I'm finally NOT busy and it is glorious!

I have finally found time for self-care. Like, doing my own LED facials!

You know what's truly different for me? For the first time in the 10 years I've been a mommy, I am finally just here for my kids. Puttering about, cooking, cleaning, reading books with them, playing. Or not doing anything with them at all. Just letting them be kids without me hovering. So nice to just be me—not anxious mommy—just me. Full stop. 

I'm cooking every day, trying new recipes!

I still have a few writing projects to keep me occupied and that makes me happy and fulfilled. My husband is also happy I'm finally paying attention to him! He even joked that working-mom me seems to be happier being a housewife. I don't think I was an unhappy working mom. I love working! But I admit I am a lot less stressed and, well, this is nice. This is really nice. 

Little boy with big leaps in the art department!

I am super happy. I'm writing. I'm with my family. We're safe and healthy. So it is such a special time for me and my boys. Just cooped up in our home, safe from the world. It's almost magical. Like water, I have adapted to the shape of my new situation, flowed into my new container, and I may not like how I got into this state, but I like this cup I'm in.  

I know many people don't like the cup they're in. So I feel guilty that I'm happy. The only thing now that makes me unhappy is the certainty that not everyone feels the same. The world is changing in many scary ways. I'm still scared, too. So I'm extra grateful I have this little piece of heaven, made all the more precious because we don't know how long it will last.

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This story was a finalist in the ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project”. The initiative is a response to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis. Igniting and championing the human spirit, “Write to Ignite Blog Project” aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. This project is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, co-presented by Eastern Communications and sponsored by Electrolux, Jobstreet and Teleperformance. 

For more details, please visit https://www.comco-hq.com/comco-in-action/comco-sea-launches-write-to-ignite-blogging-project.