Friday, September 18, 2020

Watch! This Is Paris: The Real Story of Paris Hilton, her official documentary


Well, I didn't expect that Paris Hilton would make me cry. I just watched her documentary, "This is Paris" and it's intensely personal. I started it thinking I'd be watching something fun. Well, it has fun... colors. I can't do what she does. She is a workaholic, the woman behind a billion-dollar empire. And she's profoundly unhappy. This documentary says why. And wow. The why was a surprise! 


Back when I was a Hollywood celebrity editor, I would get dozens of transcripts of interviews of stars, and Paris was one of the few who sounded super smart. As in I would be so puzzled because she was such trailer trash blonde bimbo. Then always in her interviews, she'd say, "You can strike that off the record since it doesn't sound like Paris Hilton." 

I remember bringing this dichotomy up with my husband and he frowned at me and said, "Frances, you forget that she's a Hilton." (To my, uh, credit, I didn't know who the Hiltons were since I wasn't sophisticated and well-traveled haha). 

Anyway, watch this documentary! It feels really genuine and raw. Even though you can see Paris is putting on her persona, she lets the mask slip. Her sister, Nicky Hilton Rothschild, is also no-nonsense, no-bullshit. And I love how Nikki's bookshelves in her nursery are messy piles. 

But this is not about Nicky's bookshelves =) It's about Paris Hilton. The real one. Watch it!
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Monday, September 07, 2020

Homeschool Week 2: Harder and sweeter than I expected

Okay, so in last week's report, I said we new homeschoolers are having tons of fun. Well, that was last week haha. We're still having fun, but now that we're done with the settling in, we're actually buckling down to studying the lessons. We've had a few tears ("Mama, why is this so hard to do now?") and there were two days when the kids asked that we skip the school day. So I said yes because I was tired, too.

Homeschoolers always say that the best thing about homeschooling is the flexibility. Me, I'm a woman who likes following a schedule down to the minute so all this flexibility going on is stressing me out haha. My eldest boy is like me so he gets annoyed when his brothers want to extend certain subjects because they want to keep discussing. So I have had to stop him from ringing the school bell a little too hard when he wants the little boys to hurry up.

I was the only one who followed the lesson.

But we're trying, we're trying. I'm opening my mind to this new system. I do feel like I'm second-guessing myself all the time. For example, for Art, we joined Kuya Robert's art class on diversity. He showed us how to paint with watercolors. The subject was making friends with different kinds of people - no matter what color, gender orientation, ability or disability, and beliefs. Well, my kids wanted to do something else. One boy didn't like watercolors and he took out his colored pencils. Another boy wanted a party because he wanted a reason for the friends to be together. Meanwhile, another boy wanted to do his own thing and abandoned Kuya Robert's class altogether (Blue is our pet rabbit).

I let them do their own thing because homeschooling is all about being flexible, interest-led, play up their individuality, etc etc. And the results were nice anyway and most importantly, they had so much fun. BUT... How about following instructions? What about learning something new instead of letting them insist on what they're used to?

So I don't have the answers haha. We'll figure this out. This meandering about our lessons - you know this "So what do we want to learn today?" - has resulted in many serious discussions where every little boy was absorbed and fascinated. Those wide, shining eyes and animated conversations are hard to beat. I've found myself talking about life more than academics, and while part of me knows the lessons I'm sharing won't ever appear in their tests in a few weeks, my heart is happy I can impart wisdom, not just knowledge.

I guess what matters now is they're liking school a lot, in this crazy time no less. That's a win in my book. But, yes, next week, we'll really start hitting the books.

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Tuesday, September 01, 2020

Homeschooling Week 1: I learned flexibility and gratitude for life's surprises

Hello, I'm back! The blog was still active the past week because of guest posts published, but I know you prefer ME (yey!) so here I am with a report on what's been keeping me from blogging. Well, it's homeschooling!


Yes, we're one week in. Today is our second week and so far, so good. I can already see where we'll have a hard time (my boys like to annoy each other and joke around) and where we'll have an easy time (apparently, school is super fun for them... but it's only been the first week bwahaha).

Last time I wrote here about our new mode of education, I shared our schedule. Well, let me tell you, that first day, we didn't follow the schedule at all! Mostly because my kids like to talk so Circle Time went on and on. It took us a while to log in and understand their new e-learning platform. Then they liked Math too much so we extended. The rest of the week was pretty much the same - them asking for more time for school. So this September, we're extending subjects from 30 minutes to 45 minutes each.


So there goes my career!

It's okay. Really. Maybe because I actually don't have a career anyway haha. I do have a new gig as a columnist at Project Vanity (please read my articles!) so that's sweet since Liz, my editor, wants me to write about beauty but profoundly. I guess because she wants PV readers to see the point of view of an older and wiser woman. I'm also a writer for ParenTeam. I love this, too, since I'm not a mommy blogger anymore but this allows me to still write about parenting. My regular writing job at ANCx ended because of what this government did to ABS-CBN, so that's sad, but we live to fight another day.

So, career-wise, this year was a huge surprise. It started out so strong - I had PR clients, I had my ANCx gig and other writing projects. We were going to Boracay and to Guam because of my PR work. I was going to rake it in! Then the pandemic happened. 

Despite that, I'm happy. I'm even happier that I still get to write. That's all I ever wanted to do in my life anyway. I'm also glad the career slowed down because I'd hate to choose between my kids and my job, you know? Sometimes you take life by the horns and sometimes life decides for you. I'm glad this decision was made for me.


I will confess that last week, when the boys' former school told me that their withdrawal process was complete and we can pick up their report cards and school records, my heart sank. As in, I cried. That was how bad it hit me. It's not regret. It was realizing that I worked so damn hard to get them in that school and keep them there. All those jobs I took, the sleepless nights working, just so we can afford their tuition and Chinese tutor. All those hard days hit me and I felt bad for that poor woman who worked and worked so hard. Then it was just going to end up like this - we'll pull them out of school because of a virus. I feel like I wasted my time, you know? Well, no, I didn't. All those years were still worth it and I'd do it all over again. It's just... It was hard.

So in many ways, this year is a relief. I don't have to kill myself working to keep them in that expensive school haha. Joking aside, I did a lot of crying out to God. I was so tired. I love working, but the exhaustion just drained out all the appreciation. So now here we are, income drastically cut, stuck at home for 6 months, homeschooling, and yet we're all having fun! Weird. 


I really am enjoying myself. I didn't anticipate how fun homeschooling was going to be. I really thought we'd be killing each other by now haha Instead, we're enjoying ourselves so much, I'm the one who can't keep up with the kids. Like, I beg off from more schooling. "Mama wants to nap! Stop bugging me for more Math!!!" What a shock. 

I didn't anticipate how annoying my sons can be, too. So there's that part of me that goes, "How am I going to discipline them - as a teacher or as a parent?" Well, the mama in me always wins, of course. I think I'll figure this out as we go but it's my house, my kids. I can't help being their mother. Problem is, I'm a really mean mom. I won't apologize for this. I have sons. I need to be tough on them. I'm very affectionate and generous and silly, okay. But I can be really strict, too. And I don't tolerate disrespect, lazy thinking, and sloppy work. 

One other thing I'm having a difficult time with is how I need to be flexible and quick-thinking, addressing the academic needs of each child (I have three sons!) while also managing the home. For example, I have to prepare lunch and teach them their lessons simultaneously. So there's a part of me that wishes we had household help. 


I also didn't realize this homeschooling adventure was going to consume my whole day. And night haha. For example, last Sunday, I stayed up all night making a weekly review for each boy. That's just the first week. As my husband said, it's a full-time job. 

It doesn't have to be a full-time job because their homeschool provider has the curriculum covered pretty darn well. I can mostly just be the guide, the one to explain things. But I used to be a teacher (did you know that?) so that part of me can't leave well enough alone.

Besides, it's fun. We're having so much fun. It bewilders me sometimes because I never enjoyed school (I hated school so much) and my kids were pretty meh about it, too. But now we're just excited to learn every day. They don't even want to have a weekend. Now that's a surprise, too. 

So first homeschooling week report: Excellent! Let's see how this week goes. Wish us luck!



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Friday, August 28, 2020

5 ways to encourage your kids to be more physically active

The last 6 months have seen our kids quarantined in our homes to keep them safe from the novel coronavirus. Unfortunately, kids need sunshine, exercise, and lots of play to be healthy, too. So if you're lucky enough to have a garden or a roof deck, do go out and play there! I live in a condo so it's been tricky. What I do is tell my kids they have to exercise first (and finish their list of art, literary, music activities, plus chores) before they can play on their gadgets. So that's really pushed them to work out!

But today is the weekend! We can go to our condo's amenities deck and play there! Today's guest post offers 5 other ways to encourage kids to be more physically active.

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GUEST POST - There are invaluable benefits that your children can receive from regular exercise. Physical activity is crucial for your child’s health and development, but in the social media world we live in, your kids may be more interested in their news feed than getting outdoors and taking up a hobby or sport.

As parents, we want to do what’s best for our children, so if you’re concerned about their behavior, weight, or general wellbeing, here are 5 ways to encourage them to be more physically active.

1. Find Fun Activities

If your child doesn’t enjoy a particular activity or sport, the chances of them sticking to it are slim. It’s important that they find something that stimulates their brain and keeps them entertained. Otherwise, they are more likely to throw a tantrum, which no parent wants to deal with. There are tons of hobbies and sports that your child can partake in, such as swimming, tennis, and baseball. If your child loves to play baseball, installing fencing will keep your neighbors happy. 

2. Make Time for Exercise

If your children are of school age, it’s likely that they have a mountain of homework and other planned activities to adhere to, but that’s not to say that they shouldn’t exercise as well. Scheduling time for physical activity is crucial, regardless of how busy their schedule is. Children need time to get outdoors and play, so if they’re spending the majority of their day indoors, putting other things on the back burner and letting them have breaks is a good idea. This is extremely important for their mental health and wellbeing.

3. Get Rid of Distractions

Whether you like it or loathe it, social media is used by many children across the country. While there are some benefits to social media, if left to their own devices, children will spend every waking hour behind their smartphone or tablet. Distractions like the TV and computer emit blue light and can have a negative effect on your children, such as difficulty getting to sleep and mood swings, so switching off the TV and eliminating distractions at various intervals is key.

4. Set a Good Example

You can’t expect your kids to be physically active if you’re not doing so yourself. Children pick up on their parents’ patterns of behavior, so if you’re preaching about the benefits of regular exercise but are lounging around the house, this will set a bad example to your kids. Children who see their parents regularly participating in sports and physical activity are much more likely to try it out themselves. There are lots of activities that you can do as a family, which can be a great opportunity to bond with your kids, as well as reap the health benefits of exercise.

5. Speak to Your Child’s Doctor

If you’re struggling to get your child motivated to exercise, it may be wise to book an appointment with your child’s doctor. They will have a better knowledge of what sports and activities are suitable for your child, as well as what strategies you can implement in your home life to get them interested in physical activity. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if you have major health concerns about your child’s weight, as your doctor is there to help you, rather than judge.

Regular physical activity can be a great opportunity for your kids to socialize with others, improve their fitness, and boost their concentration levels. All children can benefit from regular exercise, so while it may be hard to motivate them at first, as long as your kids find hobbies and sports that they enjoy, you will notice a huge difference in their behavior and health.

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates.
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Wednesday, August 26, 2020

5 ways we can help elderly family members

This guest post is helpful but during the pandemic, we're prevented from seeing loved ones. It's for their own good. Please let's refrain from visiting our elderly family members to keep them safe from the COVID-19 disease. We can use technology instead to maintain a meaningful relationship with our senior loved ones. Be safe, practise social distancing, and stay home!

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GUEST POST - For many of us, family comes first before anything else. The aging process is inevitable, so doing everything you can to support your loved ones as they enter their senior years is important. As your parents get older, they may require more help and assistance, and you’ll want to know how to act and what strategies to take. With that in mind, here are 5 ways in which you can help elderly family members.

Empathize with Your Parents

As your parents get older, you may be startled by their frustration, change in behavior, or neediness. There may be some instances where they’re very unpleasant to be around. However, you need to be empathetic towards their situation and understand that they may be acting out of fear, rather than a personal attack on you. Aging is a series of losses, such as health and wellbeing, employment, and independence, so try and put yourself in their shoes, which can help you know what action to take.

Keep in Regular Contact

If you live nearby your elderly parents, popping in regularly and seeing how they’re doing can make all the difference. For those who live further away, there are lots of ways that you can keep in touch, such as by using video conferencing tools like FaceTime, Facebook Messenger, Viber, or Zoom.

As your parents head into their senior years, your interaction may be the only one they receive that day, so it’s important that you maintain regular contact. We all live busy lives, so it’s advised to set a reminder on your smartphone so you can check how they’re doing. 

Get Other Family Involved

If you have siblings, it’s important that you share the responsibilities of looking after your elderly parents. Effective communication is critical among family members, especially if your parents require additional support and assistance. Having a close circle around you can help reduce stress levels and be a good opportunity to let off steam. Seeing your loved ones decline in health can be heartbreaking, so having other family members who can be a shoulder to cry on is important. If your siblings live nearby your parents, they can keep you regularly updated on how they’re doing, which can bring you peace of mind.

You can also ask your parents' neighbors to check on your parents every day. Maybe they can play cards together, start a gardening hobby and grow vegetables together, or watch a favorite show at each other's houses.

Seek Out Potential Problems

When visiting your parents’ home, there may be repairs or changes that need to be immediately addressed. The last thing you want is to return to your own home and be worrying about your parents’ health and safety, so make sure that you look out for uneven flooring and ensure essential items are within arm’s reach.

Many elderly family members want to hold onto their independence for as long as possible, so make sure you tell them that you’re trying to help, rather than being a hindrance. Should your parents have a fall because of uneven flooring, you will never forgive yourself for not acting sooner, so seeking out potential problems and rectifying them is key. 

Encourage Physical Activity

Many aging parents tend to shy away from the outside world, which can have a huge impact on their health and wellbeing. We all know how important regular exercise is for our mind and body, so encouraging your parents to get out and about is crucial. If your parents struggle with their mobility, there are very heavy duty mobility scooters that can help them get around with ease. There are tons of light exercises and activities that your senior parents can take up, like yoga, walking, and stretching, which can boost their mindset for the better.

If your parents’ health is starting to decline once they enter their senior years, it can be hard to see them struggle in front of your eyes. Being there for your elderly family members and supporting them in the best way you can ensure they lead a good quality of life. 

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Photo by Sabine van Erp from Pixabay

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