Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Happy 10th birthday to the mama in me

A few weeks ago, my eldest boy turned 10 years old. As with the quarantine birthdays of our kids this year, it was a simple affair. But this 10th birthday was a quieter party than the parties of his younger brothers. He just wanted to eat his simple chocolate cake, open his gifts, and then play video games all day. And that was his birthday. 

I thought, it being a double-digit birthday and therefore a milestone, that he'd ask for more. But he wouldn't even allow me to buy him a special cake. "Just the usual, Mama," he insisted. He's been like this since he was 7, asking for experiences rather than things. And when he does ask for things, they're not much. His Papa is the one who would buy more than what our eldest boy asks for. His Papa is always extra excited to shower gifts on his sons. And it's extra fun to give gifts to our first boy because he gets surprised at all the extra boxes he gets. 


But I gotta say I was a wee bit disappointed that we had a quiet celebration. Later on, I realized maybe I also wanted to celebrate me. It's not just my not-so-little boy who turned 10 years old. I'm celebrating a decade of being a mom, too. And you know how people throw over-the-top parties when their kids turn a year old and some people are like, "Gee, it's not like the baby will remember this party..."? Well, I know from all my over-the-top mommy friends that the party isn't for the baby really. It's for the mommy and daddy.


Because it's not easy to make a little human being, take care of it, make sure it's not just alive but happy and healthy, too. And then you have to do other things like stimulate your child's brain, discover and nurture talents, teach skills for independence, send him to the best school you can afford, and on top of all that, you have to make sure your child is polite, good, kind, and just the type of person who will be an asset to humanity. Like, who said parents are qualified for all that???  


So here I am, 10 years later. That little baby boy in my arms is now a wonderful young man. He's super smart, funny, and affectionate. He does all his chores, is super independent, and yet he's also still a baby - not childish, but wonderfully unworldly. He's sooo nerdy and quite creative. He plays the piano every day. He's written books this whole quarantine! How did I ever make this dream of a child come true? Was it me? Was it his Papa? Or was it just him? 


Ten years. Where did it all go? All I can remember is laughter and tears and so much love. Oh, and ten years of sleepless nights and long days. So exhausting. But I survived. I thrived. Most importantly, my kids are happy, healthy, and so wonderful. The 33-year-old mommy in these photos didn't think she'd be capable of all that. She's grown a lot, was humbled a lot, and learned to love a lot. I am so proud of myself for a full decade of being a good mom. And maybe sometimes, I'm amazing, too.

Thank you for being the boy who changed my life, Vito. Happy birthday, my dearest darling boy.    

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Saturday, October 10, 2020

Mama's prayer for the lifelong work of her children

In a purple folder in my closet are all the letters Mama ever wrote me. A daughter only appreciates the words of her mother when she becomes a mother herself. I loved Mama's letters before but when I became a mommy, I always have to wipe away my tears because I read her words and my mama heart knows why she wrote them.  


Today, I want to share with you her prayer for me and my siblings when it comes to our life's work. This was very important to her. Mama was a working woman. She never wanted to get married or have kids. She just always wanted to work because work made her happy. 

I'm like her. But I don't want to end up like her - worked to the bone yet buried in debt, gave her all to her family yet we never fully appreciated her. 

I'm always assessing my life as a result. I don't mind not having the job of my dreams because I already had it, twice: a magazine editor in chief and a columnist (I think of my blog as one, although I did have a newspaper column before and I now have my Project Vanity column, too). 

I've shifted my mindset, just late last year actually. My new thinking is this: My real job right now is to be mommy. And everything I do that makes me money makes that important job possible. It's helped a lot in changing my attitude towards my children and all the projects I accept. I don't expect happiness to come with the job, because happiness is not the purpose of motherhood. My purpose is to raise my children to be good people, who will be independent and will find their own purpose in life and make a difference in the world - be that world big or small. But I do find joy (that's different from happiness!) in my work because I am working towards a purpose. 

I've also changed my mind towards my work. Before I'd be snobbish. Now, as long as it's legit and honest, it pays the bills, and won't compromise my real job (mommy!), I'll do it. Because I won't be a good mommy if my kids are hungry and if I'm not using the talents and skills God gave me. I still need to work because I am also more than mommy and I shouldn't neglect that huge part of me.

So! Let's go back to Mama's prayer. I'll transcribe it here:

Lord, 

Let their talents never be wasted, watered down by mediocrity, or used to glorify anything or anyone other than You, Lord. I pray that You would reveal to them what their life work is to be and help them excel in it. Bless the work of their hands and may they be able to earn a good living doing the work they love and do best. Your Word says that "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16). May whatever they do find favor with others and be well received and respected. But most of all, I pray that the gifts and talents You placed in them be released to find fullest expression in glorifying You. 

Amen. 

Wasn't that beautiful? I pray it over my children because that is now the cry of my heart. Bless my boys, O Lord. Bless us all. Amen.

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Update, January 2021: This blog post is part of my first book, Not Invisible, my mom-oir! Grab a copy from Ukiyoto Publishing and Amazon.
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Tuesday, October 06, 2020

What's in an emergency bag? Just get these SAVED by VERSES bags to find out!

There was an earthquake a few days ago. Totally freaked me out. I've lived in our high-rise for a loooong time so I've gone through many earthquakes but this last one scared me because I realized we can't just run out of our building; I have to make sure every child has a mask and face shield on first. Then an evacuation - and the crowds of shaken people - presents its own dangers, too, in the time of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

But Psalm 46*, the chapter on this special bag, says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." So we trust in the Lord as we also prepare for emergencies. 

Like this emergency bag called Saved. It's from the brand Verses, a company started by one of my old friends in the blogging advertising world, Jel Directo (congrats, Jel!). Being prepared for an emergency does help us have a tangible reminder of that peace that passes understanding. Read on to learn how to get your own Saved bag.

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Starter 

PRESS RELEASE - Introducing to you a new essential addition to the product line of the Verses brand - not an emergency bag, not a go-bag but a 'saved bag'. As we live in a time of increasing uncertainty, having your own ready bag has become essential now, more than ever. 

Save time and effort in completing your emergency go-bag with our Saved bag. This easy-to-carry and handheld water-resistant backpack provides you with a comprehensive list of items to keep you equipped and ready for any local emergency and calamity.

Standard 

Conforming with the international standard of disaster preparedness kits, our saved bag follows a combination of Red Cross global, Ready Campaign by the US Department of Homeland Security, Get Prepared program by the Government of Canada, including a collection of personal interviews and local research.

Visit www.savedbyverses.com for more details.

Stellar 

*The whole chapter of Psalm 46: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 

"There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 

"The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 

"'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

*To be featured on Press Release Tuesdays, send it to frances@topazhorizon.com.

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Monday, October 05, 2020

Homeschool Month 1: We get down to work

Guess what? It's MY day today! And every parent who's teaching their kid this crazy year! And of course the day of real teachers everywhere. Dearest teachers, I think I'm doing a great job as Teacher Mama but I certainly know now I'd rather not do this haha You guys are the best!

We need to raise teachers' salaries everywhere. (Wait. I'm not even getting a salary.) Good heavens, what an insane occupation this is. But I'm going to claim this day as MY day. And I'm going to celebrate with a Cledor coffee ice cream bar. 


That's the photo on my Teacher Mama ID, by the way. That's why I chose it for my little "Yey me!' card I made for me haha. It's been a month and 1 week of homeschooling. There have been yelling (me), ripping of a Math book page (wasn't me), and tears (all of us). So 8 more months of this! 

Well, there's also been tons of fun with us dancing, singing, reading books and poems, discussing governments (especially this government - y'all know I got a lot to say about that!). We all learned new things - yes, even me! We've been poring over books, the Bible (for their Christian Education), and Googling and Google Translating everything to death. 

We've done mental health checks (I got the materials from Big Life Journal). We've painted and glued and drawn cute animals. We've played catch and throw, prepared for the zombie apocalypse (that's what we call cardio), and are now studying street dance. We're discovering a lot of things together and it's been, well, fun most of the time. It's definitely been an experience!

It sounds like a lot of play but it's not. I know many homeschooling moms blog about how they make learning fun and they play all day. We don't. I'm a very serious teacher. I think that's what makes me unsuitable for this homeschooling thing haha! 

I like academic excellence. I like competition. I like good grades. I like sitting up straight and doing well. I like structure. My kids - because their experience of learning is through a traditional school - have no problem really with my way because it's very much like the school they know, except at their pace, more focused, and a bit more flexible. I think they also like it that way. And yet there's a part of me that second-guesses myself, especially when I'm being hard on the boys.

We're doing okay. I think we're going too slow, to be honest. I'm a bit surprised that there's a Tiger Mom inside me after all. I'd never had known if it weren't for this pandemic! I don't want her to come out because homeschooling moms are gentle lambs who respect their children's pace and interests. They're not supposed to be Tiger Moms. Well, we'll see!

I know I sound like I'm unhappy. I'm not. It's more on I'm still finding my way through this whole new experience, trying to understand myself and my kids, trying to be the best I can be as a teacher, as a mom, and as a woman who doesn't like mediocre work. It's difficult: Who responds to this learning situation - the gentle teacher, the loving mom, or the mentor who demands excellence? There are no lines.

When people were greeting teachers today on Facebook Happy Teacher's Day, I didn't think I was a teacher. Mostly because this morning, I was in mom mode. Only after dinner, while I was scheduling lesson plans, did it hit me that I was a teacher now, too, and that this is my day. I didn't feel like I should celebrate. I've been on the job for just 5 weeks, no mentors and no helpers, and not much to show for it yet. 

But as the day ended, I decided I'm claiming this day - for me and for my boys. My kids and I are learning together. We may not be doing this whole thing professionally, we don't even know if we're doing it correctly, but we're teaching each other something new every single day. And sometimes, okay, most times, we're thrilled at what we find out. I guess that's all that matters. 

Happy Teacher's Day to all of you parents-suddenly-teachers. Happy Teacher's Day, too, to our kids who teach us so much about life and ourselves. God bless us all.

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Thursday, October 01, 2020

Blender, juicer or food processor? A comprehensive guide on food processors

Whenever I watch cooking shows, I always thought food processors were for serious chefs and blenders were for home cooks like me. That's why I have a blender at home, not a food processor. But my guest post today talks all about why we should add this heavy-duty kitchen appliance for all the useful things it can do for our cooking.

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Crispy Omelette Bites with Spinach Sauce. For the recipe, go to @ounceofoz.

GUEST POST - One of the necessities of man is food. We need food substances to survive and carry out our daily activities with ease. You can consume the likes of fruits in their raw state; however, you have to prepare other meals before consumption. For some, cooking these meals is something they look forward to, while others find cooking takes way too much time and energy. For them, finding an alternative to manual meal preparation will be a welcome idea.

They need to get themselves a food processor pronto. Anyone can enjoy a fantastic cooking experience with the use of food processors. It takes a bit of practice to get to know how to use such appliances, but once you do, meal preparation becomes easy and enjoyable.

Are juicers food processors?

You may be quick to classify a juicer under food processors; after all, it processes fruits. But here is the thing – with juicers, you extract both the liquid and solid substances from a fruit or vegetable. The juicer stores the juice in a separate compartment, and the non-useful parts go to another section to be discarded later. 

On the other hand, a food processor works differently; it merges and refines different food substances at once to get a desired and more edible outcome. There is no addition or removal of the final prepared meal.

Fancy Homemade Pesto Sauce. For the recipe, go to @lettuceromainecalm. 

Are food processors blenders, just bigger?

Definitely not! Even though food processors and blenders handle an entire range of ingredients you need for a meal, the latter processes these food substances into semisolids, which you can further use to prepare the final food. Just as its name implies – you use the appliance to blend raw food materials. On the other hand, a food processor creates various edible meals based on what you put into it.

What should I look for in a food processor?

The market houses a wide range of appliances, most of which perform a single task per time. Purchasing these items may not be ideal for individuals on a tight budget. Hence, getting a versatile kitchen appliance would be a better option – this is where a food processor comes into play. These processors come in various brands and models, ranging from small, entry-level gadgets to industrial-size appliances. However, they basically perform the same functions: chop, mix, grind, among others.

With food processors, you get value for your money. Each model has additional features that make meal preparation straightforward and convenient. They come with varying price tags that meet all budget sizes. Depending on how often you use this appliance and what you use it for, you can either purchase a cheaper model or a more hi-tech gadget that can handle whatever you put into it.

Homemade almond butter. For the recipe, go to @dannifeinestein.

Welcome to the new age of fast food

How fast and easy it is to prepare your meals when you use a food processor. Imagine the time and energy you will spend dicing an onion by hand and risk cutting your fingers, not to mention the fact that onions irritate the eyes. You won't have to go through literal blood and tears when you use a food processor! So if you're looking to make your time in the kitchen faster, more efficient, and more fun, consider getting a food processor now!

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates.

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