TOPAZ HORIZON

I was watching the season 4 trailer for Netflix's "The Crown" and I still can't believe that Charles could cheat on Diana with Camilla. But then I thought that Camilla was his first love and he was with her the entire time (even when she was married yikes). He only turned to Diana because he was 30 and single. A king's most important duty is to produce an heir so Charles better get going. So I guess in this case, Camilla was the "wife" and Diana was the poor "mistress." She truly didn't stand a chance. 

I miss making OK! magazine!

Except of course in reality Diana was the legal wife and Camilla the mistress. But Camilla prevailed and now she's not only the future queen/princess consort of the UK, the British people actually love her. Why? Because no one can resist an enduring love story.

Not that we're romanticizing any illegal affairs here, okay (yep, in the Philippines adultery and concubinage are crimes). But mistresses, especially celebrity ones, will always get hate hate hate. Unless you're the most successful kabit of all time - Angelina Jolie. Well, technically that would still be Camilla since Angelina and Brad got divorced, but Camilla had to endure hatred for decades. Angelina was beloved from the start. It was horrifying really seeing everyone root for the mistress, not for the devastated wife, Jennifer Aniston.

So how did Angelina do it? As a former celebrity magazine editor who had to put the Brangelina love story on my cover every single time for maybe 5 years haha, I have learned her ways. Here's how she did it: 

1. Don't go for a man with children.

Well, don't ever fall for a married man. Period. But if you go for a married man with kids, oh boy, you're never going to get any sympathy at all. I think that's why Angelina got away with a lot - Brad didn't have any kids and he wanted tons of kids. Our strange society thinks very badly of women who don't have kids so between child-free Jen and Mother Angelina, the latter got sympathy very quickly. She played on that, too, talking about her love for kids and how Brad wanted to be a father and how willing she was to be the mother of his children. People LOVE that shit.

But if the guy has kids, steer clear. It's bad enough he's lying to his wife, but betraying innocent children, too? That's plain evil. People will never forgive anyone who takes a father from his kids. That's pure evil. Don't be evil and don't fall for evil men. 

As for Camilla, honestly, I don't think she had a choice. Charles was a Prince of the Kingdom and eventually he would be the King. I think she had to say yes or else she'd get beheaded (joke - British sovereigns don't do that anymore).

2. Don't ever deny the affair.

Don't ever post Instagram Stories (ghostwritten or not haha) denying the affair because people will just enjoy your dirty laundry and come out with proof of your sullied reputation. You don't want that. The truth will come out for sure. There will be witnesses like frenemies, CCTV, irritated personal assistants, gleeful production assistants, etc. 

This was Angelina's one mistake. She kept denying it. She even said, "To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not, could not look at myself in the morning if I did that." And then she and Brad got photographed in March (or April) 2005 frolicking on a beach, and she was already pregnant with first biological child Shiloh when Brad and Jen's divorce was finalized in October. People can count months, ya know. Later on, she said in an interview with The New York Times that her kids love watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith because "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love." That movie was filmed in 2004, waaaaaay before Jen and Brad separated (January 2005) and divorced. So crap!  

As for Camilla, she kept quiet the entire time. Oh boy, did she get vilified for years. I honestly don't know how she survived that. But she did and mostly because pinanindigan niya. 

3. Take over the narrative.

Okay, so you fell for a married man. You're the most hated vixen in the world. What do you do now? The media (traditional and social) will destroy you anyway so try to make them go to your side. In the case of Camilla and Charles, they had their friends slip little morsels to the press. Charles was unhappy because Diana was crazy. Camilla was the only one who supported Charles and his heavy burden as would-be King while Diana was off partying and shopping. That sort of narrative.

As for Brangelina, the entertainment editors always called Jennifer to get her side but she was so hurt, she hid away. That's expected and that was gracious of her. But Angelina took advantage of this silence from Jen. If the media was going to feast on her life, she might as well give them what she wants - her side of the story. 

Why do I know this? Because I was an entertainment magazine editor during that time and at international conferences, we editors and publishers discussed how to help Jennifer but Angelina was charming the panties out of editors everywhere. She was relentless and irresistible. 

So if people are going to talk about you, you might as well give them something to talk about. Grant interviews. Send presents to the editors. Be everywhere - red carpets, talk shows - and be dazzling! Your name is now followed by "homewrecker" so do something about it and add more: queen of the red carpet, funny, charming, charitable, compassionate. More in the next tip... 

4. Put your very best foot forward.

So now you want to do a media blitzkrieg. What's the story you want out there? You want people to see beyond the homewrecker status. Let's see how Santa Angelina (that was her nickname, remember?) did it. She used all that attention to highlight her humanitarian efforts with the United Nations. She talked about the plight of refugees and orphans. She traveled to war zones, ramped up her conservation efforts, wrote books, was a guest speaker at important conferences. And you guys don't know this but we would get invitations to interview Angelina and be allowed to ask a personal question IF the focus of the article is her humanitarian efforts. So if you're wondering why many of the features on Angelina were glowing, this was why.

Camilla was amazing at this, too. Well, the couple actually hired a PR executive to help rehabilitate their image. First thing they had to do was get Camilla a charity. She supports osteoporosis, literacy, and many other charities but she also famously took on rape and sexual abuse - a cause most royals avoid. She was very active in helping victims of sexual abuse and advocating for their rescue and therapy. This was such a bold cause that British women (the ones who hated her most) fell in love with her.

So if you're a celebrity mistress, use all the unwanted attention for a good cause. Donate your time and money to charity. Because people hate perfection and if you present yourself as perfect and good but made the tragic mistake of falling for a married man, the world will like you better. A fallen angel, if you will.

5. Always present a united front.

And this was the best strategy of Brangelina and Charles and Camilla. They were always a pair from the start. They were so in love, you just couldn't ignore the force of their love - even if Jennifer and Diana were their roadkill. Terrible, I know. Marriage is sacred but all the world loves a lover, as they say. WTF, right?

So share family photos, especially if your children are cute because people love cute babies. Brangelina had 6! Camilla, meanwhile, was forgiven as soon as people saw her with Charles's boys, William and Harry. So always be seen together. Look happy. Look in love. Announce important events together. The birth of your child/ren, putting up a business, starring in a movie, getting engaged (never ever post a solo engagement photo). Don't ever do anything alone, dear kabit, because that reinforces the fact that you are not part of a family and that you broke apart one.

I know it looks like you're flaunting your sin and being a complete shameless hussy. But you already are anyway. So just own it but be humble and gracious about it. How to do that??? Well, look at Camilla and Angelina!

Every illicit affair gets lots of mileage.

So don't do it. It's evil. It's not worth it. 

It's the -ber months and y'all know what that means. It's Christmas! Well, technically, we still have a slew of holidays like Halloween, All Soul's Day, my birthday (hehe), Thanksgiving (if you do that), Black Friday sale (haha) before Christmas. But we Filipinos have started putting up the Christmas tree so it's officially the holidays! Today's guest post is all about a tough issue many Pinoy families go through - when parents are separated, where do the children spend their holidays?

As a journalist, I've interviewed many celebrities, business leaders, and society mavens. I love talking with them and getting them to spill their secrets. My not-so-favorite part, however, is transcribing the interviews. Totally hate my voice! So I was amazed to find out a few years ago that transcribing is a real job. As a freelancer now, I'm a member of a few Facebook groups for freelance agents. I thought I'd find writers and editors like me. I found that there were more virtual assistants, social media managers, and transcriptionists in these groups. Today's guest post is all about transcriptionists, in case you're a working woman who'd like to try out this career. Good luck!
When your profile is aligned with the keywords that are being searched, it becomes easy for the clients to discover your profile. With this, the chances of getting remote job assignments would increase drastically. 
There are many professional media networks that are made exclusively for people looking for assignments in the freelance industry. You can either choose to upload the same resume on your website or you can create another resume for these professional media network channels. Start building your own network.Remember to use the most significant keywords used by clients when they are looking for freelancers in the transcription industry. When your profile starts getting more views on these forums and platforms, you get more chances of potential clients striking a conversation with you regarding the assignment related to transcription. 

A few weeks ago, my eldest boy turned 10 years old. As with the quarantine birthdays of our kids this year, it was a simple affair. But this 10th birthday was a quieter party than the parties of his younger brothers. He just wanted to eat his simple chocolate cake, open his gifts, and then play video games all day. And that was his birthday. 

I thought, it being a double-digit birthday and therefore a milestone, that he'd ask for more. But he wouldn't even allow me to buy him a special cake. "Just the usual, Mama," he insisted. He's been like this since he was 7, asking for experiences rather than things. And when he does ask for things, they're not much. His Papa is the one who would buy more than what our eldest boy asks for. His Papa is always extra excited to shower gifts on his sons. And it's extra fun to give gifts to our first boy because he gets surprised at all the extra boxes he gets. 

But I gotta say I was a wee bit disappointed that we had a quiet celebration. Later on, I realized maybe I also wanted to celebrate me. It's not just my not-so-little boy who turned 10 years old. I'm celebrating a decade of being a mom, too. And you know how people throw over-the-top parties when their kids turn a year old and some people are like, "Gee, it's not like the baby will remember this party..."? Well, I know from all my over-the-top mommy friends that the party isn't for the baby really. It's for the mommy and daddy.

In a purple folder in my closet are all the letters Mama ever wrote me. A daughter only appreciates the words of her mother when she becomes a mother herself. I loved Mama's letters before but when I became a mommy, I always have to wipe away my tears because I read her words and my mama heart knows why she wrote them.  

Today, I want to share with you her prayer for me and my siblings when it comes to our life's work. This was very important to her. Mama was a working woman. She never wanted to get married or have kids. She just always wanted to work because work made her happy. 

I'm like her. But I don't want to end up like her - worked to the bone yet buried in debt, gave her all to her family yet we never fully appreciated her. 

I'm always assessing my life as a result. I don't mind not having the job of my dreams because I already had it, twice: a magazine editor in chief and a columnist (I think of my blog as one, although I did have a newspaper column before and I now have my Project Vanity column, too). 

I've shifted my mindset, just late last year actually. My new thinking is this: My real job right now is to be mommy. And everything I do that makes me money makes that important job possible. It's helped a lot in changing my attitude towards my children and all the projects I accept. I don't expect happiness to come with the job, because happiness is not the purpose of motherhood. My purpose is to raise my children to be good people, who will be independent and will find their own purpose in life and make a difference in the world - be that world big or small. But I do find joy (that's different from happiness!) in my work because I am working towards a purpose. 

I've also changed my mind towards my work. Before I'd be snobbish. Now, as long as it's legit and honest, it pays the bills, and won't compromise my real job (mommy!), I'll do it. Because I won't be a good mommy if my kids are hungry and if I'm not using the talents and skills God gave me. I still need to work because I am also more than mommy and I shouldn't neglect that huge part of me.

So! Let's go back to Mama's prayer. I'll transcribe it here:

Lord, 

Let their talents never be wasted, watered down by mediocrity, or used to glorify anything or anyone other than You, Lord. I pray that You would reveal to them what their life work is to be and help them excel in it. Bless the work of their hands and may they be able to earn a good living doing the work they love and do best. Your Word says that "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16). May whatever they do find favor with others and be well received and respected. But most of all, I pray that the gifts and talents You placed in them be released to find fullest expression in glorifying You. 

Amen. 

Wasn't that beautiful? I pray it over my children because that is now the cry of my heart. Bless my boys, O Lord. Bless us all. Amen.