Tuesday, March 09, 2021

Our last normal day

Today, March 9, marks the anniversary of the last day my children were out in the world. 

On this date last year, it was a Monday. It was the last week of the school year and my kids were excited for school to end. Just 4 more days and it's summer! Piero and I went to fetch his older brothers. I had already heard of the mysterious new disease but I decided we won't wear masks that day. This Covid-19 seemed unreal. And it was such a beautiful day!


This is where we wait. It's the amenities deck of the condo across my kids' school. It has a playground and a 7-Eleven, a salon, and a couple of tutorial centers, so it's nice to hang out there by the pool. I take pictures for my husband. I always bother him at work by sending him photos of what his family is up to. 

This is mommy me! Hair in a ponytail, no makeup, no jewelry. Definitely not glam when I'm on mommy duty haha 

With me are Vito and Piero waiting for Inigo to finish his one-hour session with the Chinese tutor. They love waiting because just look at where we are. The boys play with their iPad or run around in the playground or we lounge by the pool. It's really nice there! We miss it.

And we're off! That day, we had a hard time again with getting a Grab. So after 30 minutes of attempted bookings, we walked to Ortigas Ave. to try and hail a taxi. What we usually do is go to the gasoline station near the boys' school. There's a nice cafe and pizza place there. I leave the boys there with pizza or chips and they do their homework while I go out and wait by the highway to get a taxi. I'll forever be grateful to the staff of that gasoline station for watching over the kids.

Eventually, I was able to book a Grab and so I went back to the kids and had merienda with them. Then our car arrived, the kids chattered away, and we were home. As I type this, it's 5:30 PM. That's exactly the time we get home from school. 

That's how our regular normal weekdays are. We just didn't realize that that would be the last one. That night, the schools canceled the rest of the week's remaining days. The kids didn't even get to say good-bye to their friends. But we thought, "That's okay, they'll see each other again in June." What did we know.

I don't want to be sad because one year in lockdown later, we are all still alive. And healthy. We never even got the sniffles - the first year in maybe a decade no one in the family got sick. And I tell myself I have to count my blessings every day so I don't take this for granted. 

But oh how I'm ready for that normal life once more.

Covid-19 cases are on the rise again. I see many people on social media having parties, lunches, weddings, and reunions. This pandemic is never going to end if we don't follow the safety protocols. Please stay home, everyone. Stay safe. 

Monday, March 08, 2021

What we can learn from the circus around Meghan's yet-to-be-seen Oprah interview

In my neck of the woods - that would be Facebook and Instagram Stories - I have been talking non-stop about the upcoming exclusive interview of Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, with Oprah Winfrey.

I won't rehash all the stuff I said on FB and IGS (please follow me @francesampersales!). I'll just say this hours before the much anticipated/dreaded/hated interview in recent memory airs: 

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!! 

I'm guilty of my own theories. I just loved chatting with fellow royal watchers, whether they're fans of Meghan or not, about all the possible things the Duchess could reveal to Oprah. But when this video came out, I realized I should just wait!


Shame. Shame.

But I feel ashamed, too, since I've been gleefully jumping to conclusions. For the record, I love anything British royalty - Diana, Charles, Camilla, William, Kate, Harry and Meghan! I don't have any teams. I love all of them. Yes, even Camilla! Now, there's a ton of juicy items coming out on the reasons why the Palace would gang up on Meghan (a very strong reason is to bury any news items on William's alleged cheating and Andrew's confirmed pedophilia). But do we actually know what Meghan and Harry will share???

No. Not until 9 AM Manila time. And till then, I've been controlling my emotions, too.

What I was reminded of by all this hullabaloo was this time when I was in college. Someone told me my boyfriend at that time (not the abusive one) was spotted talking to this girl. I shrugged it off, didn't really think much of it. But then my friends were freaking out. I said, "I'll ask him about it." But they started telling me all about how he was spending way too much time with her. And I couldn't talk to him because I didn't have a mobile phone and neither did he. So I spent 2 days agonizing over this issue. Finally, when I got to see him, I was an angry, emotional mess. I asked him if he was cheating on me. He said he was just tutoring her on some math. And I felt so bad because I had made a huge issue over nothing. 

We broke up anyway. I never loved him and I'm pretty sure he didn't love me. So the emotional distress I felt that time was curious. Why was I upset over something I didn't really care about? It was because I got infected by other people's drama, that's why.

The lesson I learned there is unless I have proof, unless I see it myself, and even then until the person admits it, I shouldn't overthink it. Do I still overthink things? I do. But I mindfully tell myself to stop. It's gotten to the point that I refuse to let my imagination get away with me. My husband says I'm so literal. I have to be or else I'll never trust anybody!

So back to Meghan and Harry (he joins the interview mid-way, I hear)... 

Can we calm down and stop putting words in his and her mouths? I think we've all become infected with hysteria. My favorite Duchess of Cambridge Instagram accounts are already declaring war on Meghan. They are so sure Meghan will spill ugly things about Kate. I'm sorry but at this point, does Kate even count? It's not like she makes any important decisions concerning the Sussexes.

So there. We go through so much grief with unknown entities. "My boss wants to meet - I'm getting fired! My husband hasn't picked up my calls - he's cheating! My friend went shopping with this other friend - she must hate me! This meme says Leni said she has three daughters and they're all girls - she must be stupid!" It's crazy. I go through this all the time actually. I'm anxious all the time. Well, I use to be. That's why I forcefully stop myself from reacting. I tell myself, "Calm down. Investigate." 

With this Megan interview and with all things in life, maybe we should wait and listen and watch. Then when we get all the facts, then we react to the facts. Not to the hysteria, not to our fears. That is all!

P.S. I am soooo excited to know what the Sussexes have to say! Can't wait!

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

Life update!

Oh my! I hardly blogged last month! Didn't I have a 30-Day Blogging Challenge? Whatever happened to that???

Well, this has been the happy happening:


The paperback copies of Not Invisible finally arrived on our shores and I've been so busy handling and sending out orders. This being the pandemic, I can't hire people to help me, although my second son sometimes helps with the packing. So it's been slow but so exciting!

I also have brand partnerships! Thanks so much to Welch's 100% Grape Juice, Champion by Energen chocolate malt drink, and to Wolvit biotin supplement for supporting me! 


To my readers, please help me and support them back. I'll be blogging a review on Wolvit soon. Spoiler alert: I'm so excited about this hair, nails, and skin supplement! Then Welch's wants me to give away their products and my book to you! Watch for these exciting posts this March!

Finally and most wonderful of all, my husband celebrated his birthday, which was right after Valentine's Day, so that weekend and week was FUN! We had chocolates, ice cream, cake, and lots of sashimi! Vince didn't want me to greet him publicly (also known as a Fezbook greeting haha) so I didn't say anything at all, save for this vague one:

My husband and our boys having tons of fun! Today is a special day for our family but the celebrant
doesn't want a social media greeting so let me just say may the Force be with these boys always and 
may their bond be stronger than the interstellar one Mando and Baby Yoda has.

It's been a good start of the year, even though we still aren't out of the woods yet. In fact, despite the COVID-19 vaccination program starting this month, this is far from over. The anniversary of our quarantine is just around the corner and for us who survived or have avoided COVID-19 so far, the last year has been full of fear and also relief. I sometimes feel guilty for escaping 2020 unscathed. I've never been more aware of my privilege till the pandemic happened. I've been so good and careful. Never going anywhere unless it's for food, medicine, and essentials. Always washing my hands and adding the extra step of using alcohol. 

We can't take our health and life for granted! Please don't let your guard down. But I confess I kinda did today. I had to do some lab tests at 8 AM and because I had to fast for 10 hours, I was so hungry that I ate at a restaurant as soon as my blood was drawn by the clinic. The restaurant was empty. The A/C wasn't on. I wiped down my table and chair with alcohol. I was so safe. Then I forgot to sanitize the utensils and scratched my nose after eating. I was terrified for an hour. What if...?

But we can't worry about the future too much. And I had to remind myself of my new mantra these past couple of years - "I'll cross that bridge when I get there." I'll do my best to be prepared for the future but there's no point worrying about it until tomorrow is finally today. 

So many happy news! I went through a few bad ones, too. I hope this 2021 will be filled with more happy news than bad ones. The only things I pray for now are our good health and for God's provision. He's been good and faithful. So all's good! And that's my life update!  

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

That most famous engagement ring and a few stories about it


Forty years ago today! On February 24, 1981, Prince Charles presented his future bride to the press. They had just gotten engaged 21 days prior and Diana, all of 19 years old, and hidden away from the world in her aristocratic life, didn't realize what she was getting herself into. 

For their engagement announcement, the future Princess of Wales wore an inexpensive off-the-rack dress from Harrod's and one relatively affordable sapphire ring from the engagement rings collection of the Garrard holiday catalog. Yes, not a jewel from the royal collection because Charles couldn't even be bothered to commission a special ring just for her. That sapphire ring was just £47,000, or $60,000 today. Not even the Kardashians will wear that!

With Camilla, his then-mistress and now-wife, he thoughtfully customized a ring to reflect the Art Deco design he and Camilla like. He chose a special family heirloom diamond that belonged to the most special woman in his life, the Queen Mother.

Diana had a ring from a catalog. Oh, Diana. 


To be fair to Charles, he has always liked the huge sapphire brooch that belonged to the ladies in his family. A century and forty-one years before he proposed to Diana, another Prince gave his bride a sapphire. On the eve of their wedding day, Prince Albert presented to Queen Victoria a brooch that was a huge deep blue sapphire surrounded by diamonds. She loved it so much, she wore it on her bridal gown as her "something blue." 


In fact, Victoria loved it sooo much, she declared the brooch as a Crown Heirloom piece. That means only future Queens can wear it. So far, we haven't seen Camilla or Catherine wear it. Diana never got to wear that brooch either. That must mean it's an extra special piece for the Queen!

 
Anyway, back to Charles. So he liked that extra special brooch his mother loved. It's said Diana's extraordinarily blue eyes reminded him of that particular sapphire brooch so he thought the Garrard ring was perfect for her. So I guess that's romantic, too.

Diana's eyes look exactly like her famous ring.

It's so sad how that marriage went. So sad that sapphires symbolize faithfulness but, as Diana famously said, "There are three of us in this marriage so it's a bit crowded."

Nevertheless, I always wanted her exact ring for my own engagement ring. I told Vince about this but he replied that it was a bad luck ring. "Look at what happened to that marriage," he pointed out. So he gave me a diamond. And I bought myself the ring I wanted.  


I actually like it better, that I bought it myself. It's more meaningful because I bought it as a Diana fan haha There's no romantic love involved at all. Just like Charles and Diana's marriage haha huhu

No, no, that's not true. For a while, they were happy. Look at these photos I found on Diana fan accounts on Instagram:

Holding hands while whispering sweet nothings
Despite all their worries about the wedding, happy to meet at the altar
Honeymoon! Diana's pregnant here.
Touches, looks, and smiles
Charles said he's always loved Diana's humor. She always made him laugh.

I found more actually! Fellow royal fans love tagging me on Diana posts on IG! I'll share more soon. 

Sigh. I loved Diana and Charles together. I really wanted that fairy tale to end in happily ever after. And it could've, in a way, if fate hadn't intervened. After they divorced, they actually got along better. Charles would visit her for tea, for example. How strange. Maybe some people are better off as friends. It's always sad when marriages end. But if a friendship happens after, then that's also a beautiful thing. Too bad Diana died just one year after her divorce. Who knows? Maybe she and Charles could've gotten back together? At the very least, they could've been great at this co-parenting thing. Oh well. We'll never know.

Friday, January 29, 2021

Book Review: At the School Gate by Sandra Nicole Roldan

I bought At the School Gate by Sandra Nicole Roldan a couple of months ago. I met Sandra at the 1999 U.P. National Writers Workshop in Baguio, the same workshop where I met my husband, Vince. Sandra also met her husband, Paul de Guzman, there. We were all fellows in possibly the most romantic writers' workshop ever. So join workshops if you're looking for your soul mate! Joking aside, Vince and I like supporting local literature, especially the work created by our fellows. At the School Gate is Sandra's first book.

Since my readers are mostly mommies, I figured I'd do a book review because At the School Gate is a children's book. At just 40 pages, all fully illustrated by Nina Martinez, it appears to be a simple little story about a teenage girl's adventures outside her school. And it is, except that the story is dark and scary because the girl's father is hunted down by real monsters.

This is the story of Ella Cortez, a child of an activist against Martial Law. In the 1970s, activists who criticized Marcos were arrested and jailed without evidence. Many were tortured, and many were killed. My parents were Marcos Loyalists and they told me this was a lie. And I was a Marcos fan, too, until I met the survivors - my professor Marra Lanot, my mentor Jo-Ann Maglipon, and my colleague Pete Lacaba. I was so embarrassed to declare one time that Marcos was an amazing President in front of Sir Pete. He looked at me and smiled sadly. That was when another colleague told me about his activism. Then I had to confront the fact that my parents were the ones who lied.   

The book follows Ella's story as she is fetched from school by her auntie at the school gate. Ella is not living in Martial Law times anymore. She is 15 years old so this is 1991. The country is under the Aquino administration, supposedly the golden era of democracy, a safe time. Her father is now an NGO worker, making documentaries. But Ella finds out from her aunt that the government captured and tortured her father again. The whole family must now stay together to keep her safe. It didn't feel safe. There is malevolence and fear haunting every page. Ella realizes quickly that even though it's her father the government is after, the threatening presence of a henchman shadows her every move. Will she be afraid or will she be brave just like her father?

At the School Gate is an important book, especially and frighteningly relevant in these dark times. Many would argue that recent events of red-tagging schools is a good thing. The government is just trying to protect students from communists sweeping through the halls and recruiting gullible young girls and boys to go against the government. But my argument to that is this: What's the overwhelming proof that state universities are churning out communists? You'd think there are thousands upon thousands of students joining the New People's Army every year. But there hardly are any. Not one person can come up with a verified list of even just a hundred students who joined the NPA in the last year. 

I don't even understand why the government is threatening the universities when there are no physical classes. The campuses are ghost towns in the nearly year-long quarantine. There's no one there to recruit, and therefore this issue is illogical. Yet we are haunted and threatened by it. 

Student activism shouldn't be a priority, especially when there is a global pandemic. Yet it seems to be an issue that won't go away. What's the oft-used phrase of this administration and its defenders? Kung walang masamang ginagawa, walang dapat katakutan. Something like that. Why are all our administrations so afraid of students and activists then? 

At the School Gate shows us that activists just want a better life for their children, except that in their fight for a better world, their families suffer. Is it worth it to sacrifice your family, your life, on the altar of democracy and freedom? It's a question I'd have said yes to when I didn't have children. But I'm ashamed to say motherhood has made me a coward. That's what this book made me realize.  

And that's why this book must be included in every Filipino home. It opens our eyes to the truth that democracy is a tenuous thing. We must not take it for granted. Some people risk their safety, happiness, and their lives fighting for it. Will At the School Gate ever be required reading? Sad to say, as long as we have leaders who are corrupt and hungry for power, this book will be dangerous material. 

To be honest, I haven't read this book to my kids yet because it's too raw and scary. It shouldn't be. Martial Law was three decades ago. But it's all still happening, especially today. I thought I'd be able to tell the boys, "And that was a dark time but these brave men and women saved us from a dictator and now we're free! There's nothing to worry about anymore. We are all safe." But I can't say that. Not yet. I hope, in 2022, I will.

At the School Gate by Sandra Nicole Roldan is available on Shopee for just P223.


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I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it!