Wednesday, May 04, 2022

God's will doesn't just happen, we have to choose it

Okay, I don't usually mix my politics with religion so when I say I choose Leni as my President, it's because I looked at her credentials, her personal life, how she treats Filipinos, and how exactly did she perform as a public servant. And check-check-check! Siya talaga ang angat sa lahat!

But syempre, Born Again Christian ako so my political beliefs are also shaped by my faith. I need to live by what Matthew 22:36-40 says, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself,'" and also what Philippinas 4:8-9 says, which is "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." And choose and do those things, too! That is God's will and I strive to do it in every aspect of my life, kahit na mahirap.

So anyway, yung mga religious na kakilala ko are saying na by next week God's will is what will happen. I reject that. It's simply not true. Just because we vox populi doesn't necessarily mean it's vox Dei. For example, in the Book of Samuel, God didn't want the Hebrews to have a king, yet they insisted so ayan they got Saul and a whole lotta trouble. God permitted it because the people CHOSE it. In the same way I'm sure God isn't happily saying, "Oh, she got raped, just as I willed it." "That child became an orphan because of drunk drivers, just as I willed it." Why would God will evil??? It's not that God is helpless. It just means He will not impose His will on us. Kung ano gusto natin, kahit mali, He will not stop us from choosing it. Sadly, this is why there is so much evil in the world.

Kaya nga diba Jesus prayed, "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". Kasi God's will isn't happening on earth because of people's free will. And sorry na lang talaga but people will always choose sin. We will always choose what's wrong.

What God will do is see us through the consequences of our wrong decisions if and ONLY IF we ask for forgiveness for the wrong we've done. He will not spare us the consequences of our decisions.

Also, yung "Vox populi, vox Dei" belief or the "will of the people is the will of God" is just a part of the quote. The full quote is "Nec audiendi qui solent dicere, Vox populi, vox Dei, quum tumultuositas vulgi semper insaniae proxima sit."

Translation: "And those people should not be listened to, who keep saying the voice of the people is the voice of God, since the riotousness of the crowd is always very close to madness."

So how do we avoid this madness? If you believe in God, then by listening to the voice of God FIRST. And the voice of God says if all the people "will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

So nasa tao pa rin ang gawa. Seek God, find out who He is (He is good, He is LOVE, He is life, He is truth, He is justice, He is mercy), and then choose according to His will.

So sa elections for example, sino ang mga candidates who don't lie, who have lives devoted to public service, who have compassion for all especially the poor, who seek justice, who have no taint of murder or theft in their history, who have no whiff of corruption? Sila ang will ni God. And it's up to us to choose God's will. We don't have to, of course. Free will nga, diba. But if we don't and suffering results from our decisions (just as the last 6 years have been very bad for many Pinoys), then we can't blame God. It was not His will. It was ours.

I have enjoyed the election season immensely. Yes, it was stressful but I also saw how people rejected lies and corruption, how Filipinos from all walks of life (mula mahirap hanggang mayaman, mula street vendor hanggang National Artist, mapa-babae, lalaki at LGBTG+, bata at matanda!) gathered together to let their voice be heard, how we sang and danced and served each other.

Will we be the majority? I don't know. What I do know is mas maraming Pinoy na ang nakakakilala sa tama at mali, who are voting according to their conscience and what the country truly needs - a government free of corruption and will truly serve the Filipino through humility and compassion. I am praying that there's more of us.

May nagising na sa akin. At hindi lang ako. I know we are finally awake and listening, watching, and we are finally breaking the cycles and smashing the beliefs we inherited from generations of people who just chose who was popular and entertaining and matunog ang pangalan. We will build a better future for our country kahit sino pa ang manalo! I am so excited!


I will vote according to what I believe is God's will and choose the candidates that truly love the Philippines and the Filipino people. I hope you do, too! 

P.S. I'm for Leni-Kiko! Ipanalo na na10 ito!

Monday, May 02, 2022

Decor ideas for 3 kids sharing a small room

My sons are now 11, 9 and 7. They've always had 3 beds in their bedroom but they still liked cramming themselves into 2 beds, sleeping piled up on each other like puppies. But a few months ago, the eldest boy started complaining about how they don't fit, how his brothers steal his pillows or blanket, etc etc. I said, "You have 3 beds. No need to share beds." So off he finally went to the top bunk and he's been peacefully sleeping since.

I realize that the boys will be teenagers soon. They'll still have to share one bedroom since we live in a 2-bedroom apartment. So I've been Googling ways to redo their bedroom so that each one has a sense of peace and privacy. Check out my favorite finds for three kids sharing a small room: 

IBZ Store

This is the boys' favorite because each bed is on its own level. The boys' bed is already an IKEA Kura bed, which sadly isn't available in the IKEA store here. I don't know how we can buy another one! Maybe we'll just have it custom-made.

Ubuy

This is my second favorite idea. It has a more grown-up feel (if you see beyond the plushies).

Amazon

I like this because of the drawers under one bed. Always need storage in a small space!


This is great, too, because it has even more storage - a chest of drawers!

Just Bunk Beds

This has a study area. But it's just for one kid. Maybe I'll put bookshelves there instead.

Matrix Kids

Speaking of bookshelves, how about this one - a space for a reading nook. My kids like to read so a reading nook will be a great addition to their room. 

So there! I'll need to save up for a little renovation of their room. My eldest boy is turning 12 this year. Soon, I'll have teenagers! Can you imagine it? Time flies!

Monday, April 11, 2022

The kids are vaccinated!

My boys are finally vaccinated from COVID! They got their first dose of the COVID vaccine last month and they're scheduled to get their second dose next week. This means that in May, we can start venturing out into the world! It's been 2 years and 2 months in quarantine, save for a weekend in the mountains, and while we loved staying indoors, even introverted me knew my boys needed to interact with other people. And when they're fully vaxxed, they finally can!

Here are photos from their first dose:


There are more steps with the kids vs when I got vaxxed. When it was the adults, we registered, got interviewed by the doctor, then got vaxxed. So I'll make kwento the steps my kids went through.


Step 1: Register. I have 3 kids. So sumakit kamay ko filling out all the forms hehe. Bring their birth certificates and then your ID. And then xerox copy rin ng mga documents na ito as proof na ikaw ang parent. Kung taga-Mandaluyong ka, you need the household code of your Mandavax registration (register here).


Step 2: Kids get interviewed, part 1. Tatanungin lang sila kung sino kasama nila and if aware sila na magpapabakuna sila. Then they get weighed and have their height measured. 

Step 3: Kids get interviewed, part 2. This time, it's a doctor who checks their fact sheet and confirms the details there (may hika? may sipon? may ubo? etc). Again, tatlo anak ko so isa-isa sila because ako talaga ang ini-interview. So mas nakakatagal yung process kasi kahit na tatlo or apat yung doctors na available, we still went one by one. But di naman issue kasi mabilis yung process plus may TV to entertain the kids. 


Step 4: Here we go! Bakuna time! Super efficient, super bait, super fast! I truly appreciate all the care the medical staff poured on the kids. Thank you so much for taking care of my boys!

Hindi raw masakit. He was just obeying what they told him to do, "Close your eyes, baby!"

We are SO HAPPY they got their first dose! Mas nakahinga ako nang maayos. Hindi pa sila tapos, of course. One more jab soon and then relief. I've been highly strung about COVID for 2 years now and then my husband and eldest boy got infected despite our precautions! Mukhang wala talaga tayong escape. Kaloka.

A vaccine doesn't prevent a COVID infection but it does drastically increase their chance to fight the virus. They will likely not get seriously sick, be hospitalized, or die. As I keep saying, all we need is a fighting chance and now we have it!


Step 5: Waiting time. Fifteen minutes just to make sure the kids are near emergency services in case they have an adverse reaction to the vaccine. See that area in the back of the room screened off? That's where the emergency care is, just in case. Thankfully, wala namang nangyari. So the kids were kinda bored waiting. May TV din dito pero they were showing local government stuff so obviously hindi interesado ang mga bata.
 

Step 6: Talk with the doctor. This is just a quick chat where the doctor asks how they feel and tells them what to expect. Really fast. 


And that was it! We were done in less than 2 hours. If isa lang anak mo, malamang mas mabilis pa. It was a very pleasant experience. Thanks so much to Podium Mall for making the COVID vaccination of our kids a great time. 

Of course, even though we as a family will be fully vaxxed, we'll still be careful. We'll wear our masks and practice social distancing. 

Get your kids vaxxed, too! Hopefully, the pandemic will end soon and a fully vaxxed population is the best way to get there. We're looking forward to joining the world again! Have a great week everyone. Stay safe!

Friday, April 01, 2022

Obsessed with Honeyjubu's apron and tea strainer


Quickly popping in to share my new obsession, Honeyjubu's YouTube channel! It's just total domestic bliss, her life. That's never been my dream. I never saw myself as happy at home, making a happy home. 

Yet here we are! More than two years in quarantine, it's finally dawned on me that maybe I should make an effort and clean up and buy nice things like a butter plate, a creamer and sugar set, placemats and charger plates, plush rugs, fresh flowers in vases ... basically things that make a house a home. 

So I've been obsessively watching Honeyjubu's channel and I was seized by this ridiculous belief that if I wear an apron like she does, I'll be transformed into a total domestic goddess. She has many aprons, some for cooking, some for cleaning, most plain and simple, some have ruffles and prints. It's so quaint and I've fallen in love with it. Aprons!

Check out these aprons in my Lazada cart. Look and choose for me! Or maybe get them all?

Gray, P283
Apricot, P429
Pink, P1,035
Black, P684
Green, P529


And then one of Honeyjubu's videos shows how they drink their breakfast tea. And it's so elegant and beautiful! Just look at that tea strainer!


And of course I found the exact one on Shopee! I am soooo delighted! I literally danced for joy when I saw the listing haha Honeyjubu breakfast tea ceremony, here I come!

Leaf tea strainer, P86

Anyway, I guess I'm cleaning this weekend. My husband will think that's my April Fool's joke haha But I do clean and keep house well enough. It just looks like I don't because the house isn't as spotless and orderly as, well, as Honeyjubu's house. That's not what I aspire for (to thine own self be true!) but I am inspired! Must buy an apron first!

Happy weekend, mamas!

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Long-Time Love: The Secrets to a Happy Marriage Revealed

I wrote this article for Wyeth ParenTeam and submitted it exactly a year ago, but while I was paid, they never published it so... enjoy!



Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? No, but don’t let that discourage you. Even the most loving couples will confess their happiness is the result of lots of love and, yes, work. There are secrets to living happily ever after and we asked four married people to share what they’ve learned to make a relationship endure and flourish through the years.

Meet the men and women who have figured out a few things that have made married life not just bearable but completely wonderful:

Photographer Dix who’s been married to Ria for 21 years
Father-of-three boys Alistair who celebrated his 19th wedding anniversary to Gelonie
Engineer Fleur who’s still in love with Alvin, her husband of almost 12 years
Writer Ronna who, with husband Bojo, is welcoming a decade of marriage this year

According to them, these are the secrets of a successful marriage:

Show up - all the time.

The best thing about marriage is to be with someone you chose and who chose you, through thick and thin, till death do you part. Fleur calls Alvin, “My own permanent person in my life. It's having someone to share everything with in life. I have someone to call when I have good or bad news. When I'm sad, I have an instant counselor and personal hugger. Chores and responsibilities are divided between us. There's someone who will always have my back, who will take care of me when I'm sick, who will travel with me to different places, and someone who can make me laugh until I grow old. I make sure that I do the same for him. I make sure that he knows that he can also count on me for everything whether it’s for good times or bad.”

Showing up in the good times and the bad times is what friends do. But spouses offer something that even the most loyal of friends can’t: they’re there all the time. As Fleur calls it, a spouse is your own permanent person. Couples who show up for each other are more settled, less stressed, and happier. Dix says, “We don’t really do big gestures. We are just there consistently for each other. It’s the small things like being there for each other every day and knowing that we have each other’s back that matters.”

Remember that happiness is not the purpose of marriage.

The traditional marriage vows insist on sticking together through the sad and bad parts of life. That should be a big warning sign to all intending to marry that marriage is not going to be a joy ride. Happiness comes and goes. Even love can wane.

Ronna says, “I think about the design of marriage, that it's not a lifelong commitment designed for our happiness. It sounds bleak but the way I see it, marriage can bring us joy when we look at it with the proper perspective. I learned to see its beauty when I stopped looking at it and my husband to fulfill my needs.”

Hold on to the past and look forward to the future.

Alistair explains the importance of having a shared history: “We look back on all those memories with fondness. Most of the time we live in the now - what keeps us busy these days, what current needs we should take care of. But having all those memories gives us joy and also helps us look forward to what's ahead knowing all the things that we've been through.”

Having a shared goal - a cherished dream, a plan to travel together after the kids grow up, and the like - helps you both look in the same direction. When the bad times come, and they will, you both can look forward to that future.

You’re one unit but two separate individuals.

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to turn into each other’s clones or do everything together. Dix says, “The hardest part of being married is accepting that even though you guys have been married for the longest time, we are still individuals. Sure we complement each other or else we would not have been married for this long, but we can’t really turn our spouses into something we want them to be. We just have to accept them for who they are.”

Celebrate your differences. Pursue different hobbies. Don’t insist that your wife must watch your favorite superhero movies and don’t expect your husband to enjoy gossiping about celebrities while having your nails done at the salon. Some activities should be done with friends.

Most married people usually enjoy the same things but having something of your own also keeps you interesting. You’ll always have fresh gossip to share with your spouse!

Spend time together.

While you should improve your own individuality, don’t forget to grow with your spouse, too. Just because they’re there till death do you part doesn’t mean you should take them for granted. Dix says he and Ria schedule date nights and trips without the kids. “We make time for each other. We really talked about this seriously. We have kids. Others will say that their priority would be their kids but for us, God would be number one and right after that would be each other,” he says. “Our kids will leave the nest and kaming dalawa lang in the end. We wouldn’t want to be strangers with our kids gone and nothing to talk about so we constantly work on that.”

Ronna agrees. Even though she and Bojo are together 24/7 in quarantine, she makes time just for her husband and that can be a date on their balcony. “Between bills, chores, parenting, and work, having quality conversations regularly needs to be clocked in deliberately for us even when we're locked down together,” she says. “Sometimes it looks like snacking together when the kids are finally asleep at night or when we find our home to be briefly silent because they miraculously napped at the same time.”

Communication actually means just listen.

Marriage experts always say the secret to a successful marriage is communication. What they fail to say is communication can’t happen when both parties are talking at the same time. Alistair advises, “Learn to listen, not just to the words spoken but more so to the heart of your spouse.”

The art of listening can be learned when you have empathy. Fleur says her marriage became more peaceful when they learned to accept that she and Alvin are two different people. She adds, “We learned to understand where each other was coming from. I try to put myself in his shoes. We learned to compromise. Lastly, I told him that communication is very important especially for couples like us. After 10 years of marriage, I can say that we are communicating more than we have been during the first years of the marriage. And that helped a lot.”

Take your time.

You have a lifetime together so don’t rush things, especially conflict and misunderstandings. Dix says, “I don’t believe in the teaching that you shouldn’t let the sun go down mad at each other. If someone is not ready to talk, so be it. Give each other space. Sometimes if you push too much and want to hash things out because advice tells you to, you might say things because of anger and that is the worst. Words cut deep, so take a breather, cool down, and talk when you are ready or when the other person is ready. That’s another perk of being married this long. You’ll know when.”

Ronna also believes in simmering down. “I step away from arguments and try to sort out my own thoughts and emotions before coming back to talk things out,” she says. “I used to need to settle conflicts right away but now I've learned to take my time, and think first about my own issues and actions rather than pointing my finger and blaming my husband.”

Be the right person for your spouse.

A lifetime together means going through many changes - in looks, in beliefs, in finances, in politics. Sometimes it’s hard to be with someone who is no longer the person you married and you may start looking for a meaningful relationship elsewhere. But a strong marriage has two people who don’t look anywhere else. They know to adapt, compromise, accept and celebrate each other throughout life’s challenges. Dix says, “Don’t fall for the nonsense of finding the right person. Be the right person.”

Have fun together!

Fun protects your marriage so it isn’t a frivolous pastime. When you’re constantly creating memories, sharing adventures old and new, establishing traditions, and laughing together, it strengthens your bond and makes your union happy.

Fleur says, “After the wedding and the honeymoon, the hard work on the marriage will start. It will not be all rainbows and butterflies like what you read in books or watch in movies. Your sense of humor will help get you through those times. Go with the flow. Enjoy the experience.”

Keep your promises.

The drudgery and monotony of daily life can make marriage dull. Dramatic changes, whether it’s bad like job loss and illness or good like a promotion or a new baby, can make feelings fluctuate. Successful couples know that life’s triumphs and trials come and go so they base their marriage on their wedding vows: to commit to a life together “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”

Fleur advises, “There will be situations that will really test your marriage and the vows you made to each other. Just remember that both of you are always on the same team. Walang bibitaw.”

Every couple is different, and each successful marriage has its own secrets on what worked and what doesn’t. We hope these tips inspire you and your spouse to find your secrets to your own enduring marriage.

*Photo by Crew on Unsplash