Sunday, November 27, 2022

Blood, books, boys, and my birthday: A busy life update!

Hello, my dear Loyal Readers! I disappeared! My last post here was early October and lookie here - it's almost December! What did we miss???

Well, I missed you, that's for sure. I've always enjoyed sharing my stories here on the blog because you share your stories, too! And then I don't feel so alone. Thank you! But since I've been quiet, we haven't been talking. And I miss you all!

So let me tell you what's been up with me. I'm sharing some posts from my Instagram because I do a few life updates there. So follow me @francesampersales! But I'll do a summary here as well. 

First, some of you emailed or DM'd to ask about my literally bloody predicament in my last life update (School, Sex, Blood & Books). Thanks for asking! I'm better now. Not bleeding anymore. Huge relief considering I was bleeding profusely from August to October. What hell! I had to have a D&C so that the gynecologist can rule out scary diseases. 

Thankfully, I'm just perimenopausal. My reproductive system is okay, just acting up because I'm an old woman. What a relief! But it was a truly stressful week worrying about cancer. I switched birth control and after a few weeks adjusting to the shot, I'm sooo happy. No more blood!

Then right after I got out of the hospital, I was busy supporting my husband and the launch of his novel, The End of All Skies. It's gotten good reviews on Goodreads, Instagram #TheEndOfAllSkies, and blogs.

We're happy fellow Southeast Asians love the book. I'm hoping it also finds an audience globally. Our mythology is very different from the West, which is familiar with East Asian stories. But Filipino, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Thai, and the rest of the region? No. Even Moana was strange for many people in the West. We need to talk about our own stories because ours is so rich and wild and spectacular!  

Please buy a copy of Vince's novel! If you want a signed copy and a FREE copy of his first book, Children in Exile, order from me! It's P1,050 plus shipping. 

Send me an email - frances@topazhorizon.com. Now na! Thanks!

You can also get a copy from Amazon for $24.90 or download the ebook from Kindle for $13.99.

Anyway, it's not all happy news. My sons' hamsters died. It's been sad and sweet, saying good-bye to the cute critters that made the last 2 years so bearable. We thought we'd have one more year with them (tame hamsters can live up to 3 years), but apparently, their sole purpose was to keep my quarantined kids happy while the COVID-19 virus raged outside our home. And now that we're all vaccinated and better equipped to face the world, our hamsters went over the Rainbow Bridge, their task done.

Let me tell you that our hearts were so heavy the weeks we waited for the hamsters to pass away. They were old and slow, spending the days just sleeping. The kids were stressed, wondering, "Is this the day?" Finally, the dreaded days did arrive. My boys were so sad. I was sad, too, because I was the main caretaker of those hamsters! We comforted each other. And it's been 5 weeks but my youngest boy just told me as I'm blogging, "Mama, I miss Chocnut."

Gosh, we love you and miss you, Choccy and Spoody. Thanks for the joy! 

Then I turned 46!

I didn't do anything special. I was recovering from my health scare, neck-deep in homeschooling, trying to write my werewolf romance novel, looking for a job (which means no budget for any big celebrations!), and being a mom and wife. I was exhausted! 

But grateful. Always grateful. Thank you so much for the love! Maybe when I turn 47, I'll have pictures to share! 

Oh, another thing that I appreciate is I found out my blog turned up in these lists by Feedspot:

#26 in 80 Best Philippines Mom Blogs and Websites 

#32 in 100 Best Asian Mom Blogs and Websites

#22 in Top 80 Philippines Mom RSS Feed 

Thanks, Feedspot! I didn't even know I had an RSS feed. I'm kinda bewildered by this all since I was never on these lists when I was one of the top mom bloggers in the country way back from 2008 to 2016. Now that I'm hardly blogging and my stats have understandably gone down, my blog gets recognized. And on 3 lists, too!

I'm thankful. That tells me that despite the sporadic posts, I'm still writing good posts. 

That also tells me to blog again! 

I know everyone's on Tiktok now. Apparently, people don't read anymore and just want to watch people dancing and pointing to floating words while smiling and shaking their heads. But that shouldn't stop me from blogging because I'm writing for the ones who do still read. And you are my favorite people. The best kind of all - readers!

I have sooo many stories. Plus, some of you suggested topics or sent questions about my life and marriage so there - more stuff to blog about! So I'll get to that.

Hey, thank you for sticking around. There are so many other blogs and vlogs and social media accounts to follow, yet here you are. Thanks for caring. It means the world to me. You mean the world to me! I love you all! 

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Monday, October 10, 2022

Review: Omogs Women's Probiotic supplement (for weight loss?!)

A few months ago on my Instagram Stories, I talked about losing 7 lbs without diet and exercise and that the only thing I changed was I started taking probiotics and prebiotics. Probiotics for weight loss? That wasn't my intention but in my case, it happened!

OMOGS Women's Probiotic Prebiotic supplements

My Instagram followers filled my DMs asking what my supplement was but I didn't want to share the specific product because I took these probiotics for my gut health, NOT to lose weight. My worry was if the effect wasn't the same for other people, they'd get mad at me. But people keep asking until now. I want to trust you all that you're smart enough not to assume we have the same bodies and so the effects will never be exactly the same. 

So I'm going to blog about how probiotics can aid weight loss and then I'll do a review of the supplement I took. Then shop link after!


Why I Started Taking Probiotics

For the past 2 years or so, I've been really gassy and bloated. Like, a week before my period, my tummy would be stretched out and I looked 7 months pregnant. The gas could've been caused by my birth control, my endometriosis, or my perimenopausal hormones. Or all of the aforementioned!


Menopause and Bloating: What's the Connection?:

What to Know About Endo Belly:

The only thing I can change in the equation is my birth control. Endometriosis is an incurable condition while menopause is just something I'll have to deal with for a decade. So since I can't get rid of the last two conditions, I can help manage their effects on my gut. I tried eating more veggies and quitting coffee and acidic food and drinks, but still the bloat was really bad.

So I tried probiotics and prebiotics. I figured that probiotics may help manage my bloat but I might as well see if it can help me shed a few pounds, too. I researched the bacteria strains that were best for gut health and found this very helpful article: How Probiotics Can Help You Lose Weight and Belly Fat. Please read it!

I chose OMOGS Women's Probiotic Prebiotic supplements specifically because the article mentioned these strains as the most beneficial to weight loss: Lactobacillus fermentum, Lactobacillus amylovorus, Lactobacillus rhamnosus, Lactobacillus sakei, Lactobacillus gasseri, and Bifidobacterium. 
 

Here's my review:

I take 2 flat tablets every night. I figured I'd want my tummy to be kinda empty so all those good bacteria can really get into my gut. I have no scientific evidence to support my theory, okay? I just think this. Keep the bottle away from kids, by the way. The tablets taste sweet! They're like candy.

I was constipated for the first 3 days. Then my tummy flattened out after 2 weeks because I wasn't gassy anymore. Like, I wasn't burping and farting anymore! 

I didn't feel hungry also so while I didn't diet, I noticed I didn't feel the need to eat a lot either. I didn't have trouble sleeping anymore either. After 5 weeks, my weight went from 138 lbs to 131 lbs. and my waistline went from 36 inches to 30 inches. I'm so happy! 

Obviously, I now need to go on a healthy diet and fitness regimen to help things along and also to be, well, healthy. I have to build muscle now and improve my strength, for example. But so far, I'm happy with the changes in my body. Here's what I look like now:


Again, I started taking probiotics for my gut health, NOT to lose weight so I was reluctant to share my find because your weight may be caused by other factors. But if you want to improve your gut health, too, I highly recommend OMOGS. And I hope you also get the same effects.

I hope you liked my super long review of OMOGS Women's Probiotic Prebiotic supplements. I really wanted to explain why I chose it. First, for gut health but happily, the probiotics helped with weight loss, too. 

I will say it's always best to consult your doctor. I asked my gynecologist friend. Why a gyne? Because I suspected my huge belly was caused by my endometriosis and perimenopause. Thankfully, she gave me the go signal so please ask your doctor because I want to reiterate that our bodies are very different! What's good for mine may be different from what's good for yours.


That's my affiliate link, by the way. If you'll try OMOGS, I hope you use my link!

Good luck, ladies! Let me know how it goes.

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Friday, September 09, 2022

Gold digger

I have a little story I've been meaning to tell for years and years now. But I could never bring myself to share it because whenever I tried before, it left a bad taste in my mouth. But I guess enough time has passed that this time, I have the humor and grace to tell you all about it.

But first, two things: 

(1) People get surprised when I say I studied in public schools. They always assumed I grew up rich. I'm pretty sure it's not my face or my clothes that make me look wealthy. Maybe it's my vocabulary. Read enough and you get smart enough to make people believe you could afford the best education, I guess. 

(2) I've never said or pretended I was rich. In fact, I tell people all the time I was poor, so much so that my husband reminds me now and then not to romanticize it. So I'll keep that in mind while I write this blog post.




So now for my story. Or stories. I have four.

#1

When Vince and I started dating, almost everyone in his world welcomed me. I was so relieved because he was, well, he doesn't like the word "rich" and prefers the term "comfortable." So let's just say Vince was very comfortable. He went to private schools, lived in a gated community of mansions, drove his own car, and flew off to destinations to ski and dive and shop and whatever it is comfortable people do. 

I was nervous to meet his family because I didn't think I was good enough for him, but on our first date, Vince brought me to his house to meet his parents. His family treated me well from the very start. At that time, I thought it was evidence of their kindness. But looking back, I also think it was because Vince made it crystal clear that he was besotted with me. 

As for his friends... Well, they were lovely, too, until this one time when they were drinking. Vince had excused himself to go to the loo and one of them told me, "Hey, Vince always pays for your dates, which is strange because aren't you a feminist?" Before I could explain that I have no money for Vince's expensive taste in everything so we agreed he pays if he insists on chi-chi restaurants over Jollibee, his other friend laughed, "She's not a feminist, she's a gold digger." 

I usually have a comeback for everything but at that moment, I was so surprised that I couldn't think. And then Vince came back and everyone literally pretended nothing happened. I never mentioned it again but it was a little worm that fucked me up.

#2

Sometime later, a colleague who went to college with Vince stopped me in the corridor of our office. She said, "You know, I've always wondered: What do you and Vince talk about?" 

"What do you mean?" 

She tilted her head to one side and looked at my second-hand clothes I bought from eBay, "Well, you're obviously not part of our crowd."

A few months later, I accompanied my friend, Che, to a bridal fair at Shangri-la Hotel. While Che was chatting with suppliers, I wandered off to another booth where I bumped into my colleague. She looked at me, amused. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm with my friend. She's getting married."

"Oh! I thought you were thinking of getting married," she laughed.

I didn't like her laugh so I said, "Well, Vince and I have been together for a few years so I might as well look around."

And she smiled at me indulgently and sighed. "Oh, dear, do his parents know? I don't think they'll like...  Do you really think Vince will marry...?" and then she looked at me from head to toe with her infuriating gentle smile. And I knew her unspoken words were ...someone like you?

"Is she bothering you?" Che spat out.

"No, I was just chatting with Frances. Bye!" And colleague left.

Che looked at me in disgust. "How could you allow her to talk to you like that?"

I allowed it because I believed it. Why indeed would he be with someone like me?

Spoiler alert: He married me anyway!

#3 

Many years later, I was definitely in a much better place. I was successful in my career, I was somebody now, and best of all, I knew Vince loved me. 

But after our gorgeous wedding was splashed in the society pages of Inquirer and Wedding Essentials magazine, one of my father's friends said I did very well for myself. And then she got mad at Papa because she wasn't invited to my wedding and she told him, "Your daughter marries up and she's suddenly a snob." I wasn't a snob actually. I asked my parents for their guest list and she wasn't included in their list so it wasn't my fault.  

But while I wasn't insecure about this shit anymore, a deep resentment surfaced. I did not marry up. I did not do well for myself by landing a comfortable man. We married as equals and I resented that people will never see me as his equal.  

#4

I dragged Vince to the Esquire Ball as my date. At that time, Vince had been unemployed for a couple of years. I was making a lot of money so we decided that he can be the stay-at-home parent to our baby boys. At the party, he caught up with a few people. One of them asked, "So what are you doing now?"

Vince replied with no shame, just nonchalant confidence, "I'm a stay-at-home dad. I married a rich woman."

And all the guys at the table gaped at him in awe. 

I will confess: his masculinity not being threatened at all and him just owning being a kept man like a boss made me drool. 

What a man! 

Blurry photos from the Esquire Ball with editor-in-chief Erwin Romulo

I guess I wanted to tell these stories because I realize that some people will always think I'm a gold digger (to their credit and mine, his friends changed their minds about me). And maybe some people even admire me because I caught a catch.

Pfft. It should surprise them no end that in this marriage, it's my husband who thinks he's punching above his weight. He's always said he's the one who got lucky and that he's the one who married up. 

Thanks, babe.

What people refuse to see is it's possible that someone like me who's lived with so little for so long has learned to do without the trappings of life and actually enjoy it. I don't like poverty, okay, but I love the simple life. It doesn't take much to make me happy, and that is what people don't understand. No one will ever have enough to offer someone who doesn't need material possessions.

Am I defensive? No. I'm just happy. Okay, maybe I'm defending my happiness? Maybe. I'm so happy. I literally have Php 7000 in my personal bank account and I'm happy. I'll tell you why and I will concede that Vince gave me this. 

While Vince lived a much more comfortable life, it wasn't material wealth that made him so irresistible to me. I loved how intelligent he was and how he respected my brain. I loved how he was crazy about me because that is honestly such a huge confidence booster. I loved how he admired my sass but was quick to call out my bullshit. I loved how he urged me to have dreams and to go after them, pushing me all the time to dream bigger and do better. I loved how he made me believe I was worthy of all the world had to offer, and that he was not going to give them to me like some dashing prince rescuing the scullery maid. 

And this no one ever really understands because it's not the stuff of fairy tales: Vince never offered me the moon and the stars because he believed in me enough to know I could get them all on my own. And his vision for me and my future was so bright, it dazzled even me. 

Money is earned, money runs out, money can be stolen, but what I got from this relationship I will never lose. Vince may not have promised me material wealth, but he gave me something more precious: He gave me belief in myself. 

So let's go back to that term. It amuses me now because this is corny but true: All the gold was inside me and Vince just helped me dig it out of me so I can be the shining star I am now. 

Gold digger. Yeah. I'm redefining it and owning it. 

Update, July 2024: I edited and rewrote this blog post for a competition and -good news! - it was a finalist in the Creative Non-Fiction Contest of Women on Writing.


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Sunday, September 04, 2022

Life update: school, sex, blood, and books

So I haven't been blogging. Nothing in June, two posts in July, one in August. Ya, I know. What's up, right? Lots and lots, that's what! Here's the gist:

1. Work

It got really busy for a while, to the point that I was up till 3am every night. Then everything died down last month, which was welcome because of...

2. School

I was so stressed out wrapping up the last school year. My three kids were homeschooled so I drowned in giving grades and making portfolios. Then when that was done, I got busy with enrolling the boys for this school year. Then it was the start of a new school for my eldest boy and all the stuff that goes with face-to-face classes again on top of homeschooling my two younger boys. 

3. Sex

I went on a pill break because I've been on the pill since I was 22. I have endometriosis and the pill is an effective treatment for me. I've only taken pill breaks when I was busy making babies in my 30s.

Anyway, I took a pill break a few months ago because my periods have been erratic (perimenopause!) and let me tell you, I was overcome by a resurrected sex drive. My husband is very happy. Me, too! It feels like we're on a honeymoon frenzy. I can't keep my hands off him! You get a little peek at how I've been feeling in this post: 7 kinds of kisses. 

So it's been wonderful but here's the thing that's put our sex life on hold...

4. Blood

(If you're squeamish, skip this part.) 

So much blood! Today is officially the 13th day of my period. And every day is soaked in blood. When you have endometriosis, periods are extremely bloody. That's one of the reasons the pill is amazing - it reduces bleeding. When I went off the pill, I was surprised that I didn't have my periods for 4 months. So we figured I'm really menopausal. 

However, this month, all those missed periods came back with a vengeance. So I've been dealing with menorrhagia (heavy menstrual bleeding) and that means many changes of blood-soaked napkins, taking care of bloodstains on clothes and sheets, and feeling a bit weak and lightheaded from the blood loss. I'm honestly feeling under the weather as I'm typing this. 

Anyway, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to have this checked. I'm getting worried. Googling "menorrhagia" and the many conditions that may cause it is making me anxious. Hopefully, it's nothing and going back on the pill will solve it.

5. Books

Okay, back to happy news! I started writing a book! It's a teen romance that's also a werewolf romance. Yes, that's my new obsession! Werewolf romances! I discovered this strange genre last June and let me tell you, it's insane! Apparently, it's huge with women because it's truly romantic. I am so dazzled by it. I've pretty much read 30 novels in the last 2 months (that's a book every 2-3 days!).

All those novels pushed me to write my own! I love that my husband is a willing partner in the creation of my novel. I'm the one writing it, okay, but I ask him about certain plot points and when I need to check if a sex position works, he's only too happy to help try it out hahaha.

Anyway, I've been telling my followers about my little book project on my Insta and I'm really moved by the support and excitement you've been showing. I hope to finish the book in 6 months. Watch for it on Wattpad!!!



Of course, writing a book means I run out of words for the blog. That's why I haven't been blogging. I'm so sorry! I miss you all so much! Please wait for me. I'll try to update this blog every Sunday. Till then, please pray for me (because I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow) and wish me well on my writing adventure!

Have a great week, everyone! Love you all! 


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Wednesday, August 24, 2022

That time Taylor Swift inspired me to write an essay on cottagecore full of her songs

Exactly two years ago, we were in the grip of a deadly global pandemic, quarantined, and afraid. What got me through that was Taylor Swift and her album Folklore. Her surprise album made news because she used her time trapped indoors to be productive. That really inspired me to write my very first book, Not Invisible, because if Taylor can create something at a time when we were all threatened by destruction, then I can create, too. I felt my mortality acutely so I wanted to leave something behind and that's how I became an author (thanks, Taylor!)

I was also writing for the beauty website, Project Vanity, and being a Swiftie grateful for the creative inspiration, I wanted to write an article about Taylor's new album and new aesthetic and then do a totally Taylor thing - insert Easter eggs into my writing. She said she loved doing this because her writing is the most important thing to her and putting secret clues in her songs makes her fans pay more attention to her writing. So I wrote an article for PV and asked the PV community to look for Taylor's song titles. And they were so happy to find them all!


Here is the unedited article, with 25 song titles! The published version was edited for length and I took out sentences that felt forced so only 16 titles survived the edit. Since it's been 2 years, I decided to share with you the original article and tell me how many you find!

(CLICK "Read more" for the answers with the songs linked to their YouTube vids). 

* * * * * * *

Freckles, focaccia, and Taylor Swift’s Folklore: Have you jumped on the cottagecore aesthetic trend?

Taylor Swift very recently surprised everyone the world over with an indie album made while she was in quarantine. Not only was Folklore completely unannounced until 24 hours before it dropped, but Taylor also debuted a different sound and look. Gone was the dip-dyed blue hair of 2019. Even "that classic red lip thing that I like" - kaput. Instead, we have a bare-faced Taylor, with a mop of unruly blonde curls, clad in an old nightgown, a gingham shift, or a bulky cardigan.

Was Taylor introducing a new style and beauty trend? No. Her Folklore look is nothing new. She just brought it front and center. This aesthetic is called cottagecore and in the age of a global pandemic when everything has changed, it is everything we want.

What is cottagecore? Cottagecore is an online aesthetic that romanticizes the simple life. It’s all about escaping the urban jungle for a cottage in the woods. It’s being lit up by the warm light of a fireplace instead of the cold light of a laptop. It’s being free from the trappings of capitalism and living simply in a state of grace. It’s also been around for a few years, with a cult following on Tumblr and Instagram, but it erupted this year on TikTok when TikTokers stuck at home shared calming videos of baking bread, arranging flowers, and knitting sweaters.

It’s understandable why people are enchanted by cottagecore. Trapped indoors because of the pandemic, a peek at an uncomplicated life where your biggest concern is what herbs from your windowsill garden will go on the focaccia you’re about to put in your oven invokes feelings of being safe and sound. Since we know all too well that the world right now is confusing and terrifying, the cottagecore dream is having a moment.

If you’re unaware of this trend, check your Facebook feed again with eyes open. I see it everywhere on my social media platforms. The plantitas fussing over their plants. The work-from-home guys now baking sourdough bread. The women knitting ear-savers for the frontliners. The style influencers who used to travel the world now posting OOTDs from their gardens.

The cottagecore beauty trend

Of course, cottagecore has a beauty aspect, too. It’s not just Taylor giving off that natural vibe. For her “Daisies” music video, pop star Katy Perry is barefoot and pregnant in a white lace dress, with her black roots showing through her blonde locks. Singer, feminist, and activist Halsey is happy at home, posting selfies of her freckle-filled cheeks and wild curls. Star of Stranger Things and Enola Holmes Millie Bobby Brown basks in the daylight with her dogs, her hair loose or in braids, her flawless skin without a stitch of makeup.

What this means for us regular folk is a focus on skincare and haircare! A big reason why celebrities and influencers can get away with the cottagecore look is their skin and hair are gorgeous. They use the best pampering products because their career means they can never be invisible.

We don’t have to buy the same expensive stuff to stay beautiful, however. A regular skincare regimen of cleansing, toning, moisturizing, and protecting is forever and always the simplest and best beauty secret. Because we have a lot of time now, go a little extra in loving your skin and hair.  For example, weekends are dedicated to me! That's when I put sheet masks for dewy skin, I deep condition my hair, and do my own mani and pedi. Since quarantine started, I don’t remember the last time I used my blowdryer so my hair’s really been feeling soft and amazing.

While cottagecore is all about showing off bare skin, a makeup lover doesn’t have to despair. Tinted lip gloss is a big deal, so are natural brows and delicate lashes. If I must wear makeup for Zoom meetings, I like wearing CC cream with a glossy lippie and cream blush in dusky rose hues. I use brown eyeliner, brown mascara, and brown brow pencil because cottagecore colors are browns, beiges, and warm pinks. My freckles have faded (thanks, anti-aging creams!) and at my age, freckles mean sun damage but I can easily fake freckles by using brown liquid eyeliner.

Of course, we can all just jump on the cottagecore bandwagon as an escape from what has been a truly cruel summer (and beyond) of living with the novel coronavirus. But this trend has given me an epiphany. I hope cottagecore makes us all aspire for a way of life that is built on self-sufficiency and sustainability. We don’t literally have to live in a cottage in or out pf the woods. Growing our own food in our urban backyards, baking our own bread, even repurposing and making our own clothes - these are signs that we can begin again, but this time in a truly mindful and meaningful way.

* * * * * * *

How many did you find? 

CLICK "Read more" FOR THE TITLES!
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